Don't Say You Love Me (Boundless Love Book 1) (12 page)

‘I can tell. I can tell that this man really, really likes you.’

‘Yes, well…it’s too early to tell, and besides, there’s me and – ’

‘Don’t even say it. Come back to the present moment and enjoy it.’

‘Okay, okay.’

Over the years they’d always promised each other that when they slipped away from what was good, when their focus was on the bad instead of the good, they would always remind the other.

‘The present moment it is.’

****

She slid into the car forty minutes later. He was still on a call when she sat beside him, but quickly ended it to give her his full attention.

‘Busy day?’ she asked.

‘You could say that. I might have to go away for a few days.’

‘I see. Somewhere nice?
’

‘Yes,
Italy, but I won’t get any time to see it. It will be business, business, business.’

‘Sounds tiring.’

‘It is, but I enjoy what I do.’

‘That’s a good thing. I love what I do
too.’

‘I can tell.’

She nodded.

‘So why don’t you tell me where this restaurant is and I can go and taste this pasta.’

It was just outside Leeds, which was easy enough. When they arrived, it was still a little empty.

‘This is going to be an early dinner,’ he said.

‘Not for me, I usually have mine around about this time. It’s easier for me to sleep. Too late, I’ll struggle.’

‘Makes perfect sense. I’m all over the place so I eat when I can.’

They’d chosen a table in the corner of the restaurant that gave them some privacy. His eyes travelled around the restaurant, taking in the wild colours, the crazy décor and the extremely busy floor. He seemed stunned by it all. 

‘I know, the décor’s a bit loud. I always assumed an up and coming designer got this project and went all out.’

‘You do, do you?’ he chuckled.

‘Yeah, think about it. It’s his first real gig, and he wants to impress. He’s got so many ideas that he just uses all of them in one little space.’

‘Spot on.’ He took a look around. ‘I’d say the same thing.’ He laughed.

‘But, it hasn’t had any effect on the food. The food is divine.’

‘I’ll take your word for it.’

‘If this business was struggling, would you invest in
it?’

‘I’d certainly tear down the building and build it up again!’

She laughed.

‘Perhaps turn it into a nice
gallery.’

‘That would be
odd, from restaurant to gallery. I don’t think you’ll find the people you’re looking for in this neck of the woods.’

Sahara
was turning out to be the most interesting woman he’d ever met. It had been the reason he’d felt so drawn to her. Feeling out of control felt too terrifying for him, and Eugene had to get himself back, get composed. That hadn’t taken long, and that was why he was sat opposite her about to order.

‘So what do you recommend?’ he asked gazing at the menu.

‘Spaghetti with meatballs. They’re absolutely divine!’

‘Okay then, that’s what I’m going to have.’

‘Really, don’t you want to see if you might like something else?’

‘Nope, I’m taking your word for it, and if it’s rubbish, I know who to blame.’

‘Ah, but if it’s great, you’ll know who to thank.’

The evening flowed easily. They teased each other constantly, and it made them both feel relaxed. Sahara got to know more about
Eugene, and he got to know a lot more about her, except one thing.

‘Do you mind if I ask you a question?’

‘It depends.’

‘It’s about…’

‘The cancer?’ She took in a deep breath. It wasn’t something she wanted to think about.

‘I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer it.’

‘Its fine, but just one question and one question only.’

‘What is the prognosis, I mean where are you at? I don’t know how to put it.’

‘You mean do I still have the cancer?’

‘Yes, I think that’s what I’m saying.’

‘Well, the lump in my breast was taken out, some of it had spread to my lymph nodes, some of which were removed, that’s why I’m having the chemotherapy. It’s a silly thing, cancer. Hopefully when my chemotherapy’s is finished, I’ll know for sure what the verdict is.’

‘Okay, well thank you for sharing. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.’

‘It’s fine. I’m okay, as long as we can move on to a different subject.’

‘Of course.’

‘Briefs or boxers,’ she blurted and giggled.

‘I beg your pardon?’ He tried to keep a straight face.

‘You heard me.’

‘Isn’t it a bit early for a question like that.’

‘Briefs or boxers?’

‘Boxers.’

‘Brand?’

‘Vers
ace or Calvin Klein.’

‘Hmmm.’ She tried to visualise it.

‘I can’t believe you.’

‘Oh please, men do it all the time. Fish for information they know they have no right asking.’

‘So can I ask you something?’

‘Nope.’

‘How is that fair?’

‘Life isn’t fair.’

The food arrived, the steam captured their senses and made their mouths water.

‘That smells great.’

‘Would you like some cheese, pepper or olives?’ asked the waiter.

‘Bring it all,’
Sahara replied.

‘Well, you heard the lady.’

Sahara was going to enjoy it while it lasted. With the nausea at bay and a bit of her appetite back, she was going to make the most of it.

The waiter returned, and soon the couple dug into the delicious food!

****

The car parked out the house like the night before, and again, he offered to take her to the door.
He leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss like the night before, and then pulled away. He smiled gently, put his hands in his pocket and started to take steps back.

‘Still want to come in and watch Game of Throne
s?’

‘I think I’ll call it a night, I have
an early start tomorrow.’

‘Yes okay.’ She felt a little disappointed
, but quickly brushed it aside. 

‘I’ll call you,’ he said.

‘Okay.’ She smiled.

‘See you soon.’

She had no idea what soon meant, as far as she was concerned it could mean the next day, or the next week.

‘Yes, see you soon.’ She
watched as he walked back to the car.

Soon the car was gone and there was a strange emptiness within her that she’d never felt before. Before
Eugene stepped into her life, she was okay. She’d managed to cope with the hand she was dealt, but that feeling, she had no idea what to do with it.

She shut the door behind her and headed straight for the bathroom, to run a bath. She would s
oak in the bath and just try to clear her mind, try to understand the feelings she felt. He had certainly shaken her world, and she wasn’t sure whether she was pleased or sad about it. One thing she knew for certain, was that she was certainly falling for him!

****

Eugene called just as he had promised. She was relieved to hear his voice, a part of her thought that he wouldn’t follow through. They arranged to meet up again and this time he treated her to his world. It was spent dining and entertaining. It was something she’d only imagined. Sahara had certainly tasted a different part of life, to which she was grateful for every moment.

The days turned into weeks. There were two weeks when
Eugene had been out of the country, but he never left her waiting by the phone. Every morning there was a morning text, and every evening he called to ask about her day, it didn’t matter what part of the world he was in or what time it was, he did it everyday. Sahara was quickly falling for him, he was everything she’d ever dreamed of and never thought that it would ever be possible, but here he was, making her a priority in his life.

One evening after they’d gone to a restaurant of her choosing,
Eugene walked her to the door like he normally did, but this time there was a different look in his eyes. Sahara knew instantly what it meant.

‘Can I come in?’ he asked.

She nodded. She turned, put the key to the door and opened the door.

‘Welcome to my home,’ she said as she flooded the house with light.

He took his time to have a nose around.

‘It isn’t very big.’

‘It’s you.’ He smiled. ‘Very you.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘Well, it’s your style, simple, but beautiful just like you.’ He took her hand into his. ‘I love you,’ he said. ‘I’ve wanted to say that for a while now, I just didn’t know how.’

She withdrew her hand a moment. The words were important, but carried with them a huge responsibility.

‘What’s the matter?’ he asked.

‘You can’t say that.’

He frowned not quite sure he understood what she meant.

‘I can’t give back to y
ou as much as you’ve given to me.’

‘I’m not asking you to.’ He moved forward.

‘Don’t.’ She moved away.

‘I love you,’ he said again.

‘Stop it, don’t say that.’

He
meant the world to her, that it terrified her. No one would understand the fear she felt, what that word meant to her. Sahara didn’t know what the future held, she didn’t want to have to think about him at the same time.

‘I can’t help what I feel. Why
are you so against it?’

‘It’s not that simple. My life is in limbo, I can’t promise you anything.’

Instead of taking heed to the words that departed from her mouth, he pulled her forward and pressed his lips against hers. It took her breath away. There was no denying that he had that ability, that amazing ability to take away all the air from her body. She couldn’t fight or resist him, instead she led him upstairs to her bedroom.

‘Hey,’ he smiled and ran his hand down the side of her cheek.

‘I’m scared,’ she said.

‘Don’t be.’

‘I’m not perfect, I’m scarred.’

‘You’re beautiful, you’re perfect to me.’

Tears welled behind her eyes, she didn’t know what to do with the turmoil of emotions.

‘You can’t say that.’ She bit back her lip. ‘I haven’t done this since I was, well before I was…I can’t remember.’

‘Don’t think about it, don’t worry about it.’ His voice was gentle. ‘It’s not about what you’ve done, but what you’re going to do. I don’t care about the past.’

‘But I do, it’s moulded me into what I am.’

‘The person you’ve been moulded into is perfect, there is nothing to worry about.’

‘You don’t understand. I haven’t done this.’

‘Then let me guide you, let me be the one to show you just how lovely you are.’ His hand ran gently along the side of her face, down to her neck and finally down to the breast that had had the lump.

She swallowed back hard.

‘Is this the one?’ he asked gently the moment he felt her flinch.

She nodded.

He cupped her breast into his hand and slowly massaged it.

‘I don’t want to hurt you, tell me if you want me to stop.’

‘Stop.’ She bit back her lip. ‘I don’t have any breast there, it is yet to be reconstructed, I’m wearing –’

‘It’s okay.’ He stopped.

‘No it isn’t. I don’t feel…’

He pressed his lips against hers again, it stoppe
d the negative words from flowing out. He slowly began to unbutton her shirt. Sahara was too lost in the moment to realise it, but the moment she felt the cool air on her skin, she pulled away.

‘I can’t.’ She tried to cover up. ‘I can’t.’

He was silent. There was warmth that came from his ice blue eyes. He stepped back into her space and slowly lowered her hand that held the shirt together. He kept his eyes on hers as he lowered her shirt. It fell to the floor, her heart thudded, her stomach cringed, but at the same time, there was no resisting his amazing touch.

His hands moved
to the back and unclipped the bra. Sahara wanted to resist, but her body wouldn’t let her. The bra dropped to the floor and she was exposed. He took a step back and his eyes followed her body. They landed on her chest, on the one breast she had left. Sahara suddenly became shy and covered herself with her arms.

‘Don’t
hide from me. You’re beautiful.’

She turned away, it wasn’t that simple.

‘I said you’re beautiful.’

Eugene
had never experienced the wave of emotions he was experiencing in that moment. It was pure, it was deep, and it was meaningful. Most times all he wanted to do was pounce on a woman and scratch his itch, but with Sahara, he had the urge to please, he wanted to be her hero. He wanted her to approve of him! Deep down within him, he wanted her to accept him.