Doubting Our Hearts (31 page)

Epilogue

5 Years Later

Lillian

“Candice, can you remind Mr. Knight that today is a special day.”

“Lillian, you know I can remind him every thirty minutes, but that man will ever forget your anniversary.”

I sigh, knowing she’s right. Maybe I’m just paranoid.

“Aunt Lily! There’s a man at the door, and he has some pretty flowers for you,” my four year old niece, Hailey, calls from the foyer.

“Oooo. They’re
really
pretty,” Harper, her identical counterpart, adds.

I walk into the foyer where both girls are waiting for me to open the door with big smiles on their faces. I love these little girls so much. They have long, shiny brown hair like their father, and the bluest, ocean blue eyes just like Addison. If anyone doubted Brendan and Addy would make gorgeous babies, the doubt was gone the minute the doctor put the two identical beauties in their parents arms a year after Addison’s accident.

The girls are practically bouncing on the balls of their feet waiting to see just what’s beyond the front door. They definitely have more energy than I do at the moment.

I open the door, and I’m graced with an array of wildflowers shooting up and cascading over the vase.

Wildflowers in winter. Only Brayden.

I thank the delivery man and bring my flowers into the kitchen with Hailey and Harper hot on my heels. As I place the arrangement on the island, a note drops from its place in the blooms.

“Oh, what does it say?” Harper asks.

“Read it! Read it!” Hailey’s excitement running high in her voice.

I can’t help but see the sisterly bond their forming. It reminds me so much of how Nora and I were when we met. Granted, we weren’t related but blood doesn’t always make someone your family.

Sadly, Nora and I have grown apart since I moved to New York. I respectfully declined her offer as godmother of her son, Devin, but I was there for his birth. And as much as I tried to talk myself out of it, I attended her and Damon’s wedding as a spectator. It was the closure I needed to finally let go of the hurt and pain I was harboring. I did it with a smile, knowing Brayden was right there with me.

I look to both of them and clutch the note to my chest hiding it from their view. “What if I don’t want to share? What if I want to keep it a secret?”

“Aunt Lily…” they both whine in unison.

“You and Uncle Brayden always told us to share. That means you have to share too,” Harper reminds me.

Yes, we definitely have the rule in place. On nights where I get to baby sit the girls so Addy and Brendan have some much needed adult time, I have them bring some of their toys with them. Within an hour, they manage to forget who brought what and they start to fight. Brayden and I remind them over and over to share, but we’re just glad they clam down enough to get along again without any major cases of bribery.

I’ve learned I’m in no way beyond bribery. I’m the aunt. I can give them candy and send them on their way. Well, in our case it’s usually ice cream…chocolate chip cookie dough to be exact.

“Fine. You got me,” I huff and laugh, opening the envelope to find Brayden’s masculine handwriting.

Lil,

My passion for you is wild like these flowers. As sure as these leaves will always be green, I know my heart will know no other but you. My love will continue to grow, beyond these petals and beyond the water that falls from the sky that helps them grow. I can’t wait to expand our family so I can show our son the love we have for each other and him. You and Ethan will know nothing but love. Thank you for the last three years of being my wife and to many more, my love, my nirvana.

Always, Brayden

I still get butterflies when he calls me that, and I’m reminded everyday that the simple inscription on my wedding ring and the day he finally asked me to be his wife.

We’d been living together for six months, each day better than the last. It look some time to adjust to Brayden’s apartment and his habits, but by the sixth month, we had a routine and knew how to maneuver around each other’s moods.

For some reason, today, I was just moody beyond belief. I mean, I’m a woman, and we could go from crazy psycho to warm and loving in an instant. Today, I was anything but affectionate.

“Brayden Michael, why is there chocolate wrappers and no chocolate?” I ask as I bend down to pick up the array of some of my favorite treats. Come on. At least save me some. “Are you trying to give me a reason to make you sleep on the couch?”

I can hear his deep laugh then see his handsome face peek around the corner. “Hey, honey. I didn’t see you come in.”

I let out a breath and went to our bedroom to shower and change for dinner. Some hot water after a long day always does the trick. As the water relaxes my muscles, I take the time to relax my mind. Brayden doesn’t need my bad attitude on top of his own career stress. By the time I emerge from the bathroom, my body’s more calm, and my head’s on a little straighter.

I throw on one of Brayden’s button down shirts and head to the kitchen. When I reach him, I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his soft lips.

"Hi."

"Hey. Sorry for being crabby. Long week I guess."

"It's okay. Happens to all of us." He kisses me again with passion, and I can't remember what I was upset about. "Come here. I've got something for you."

He leads me to the couch and guides me to sit. After another slow kiss, he leaves me alone, wondering what he's up to.

A few minutes later, he returns with a white poster board. Judging by the smile on his face, he can't contain his happiness about what he's going to give me.

I love his gifts. Some are small, like the jellyfish necklace; whereas others he actually makes himself, and this looks like one of those gifts. He takes a seat next to me and hands me the huge board.

I take it with both hands and hold it in front of me. I spot chocolate candy bars glued all over, which upon further inspection are in the middle of a sentences that form a letter. So, I start reading aloud.

My Lil, my nirvana,

              My love for you grows leaps and "Mounds" every day I spend with you. My heart fills with so much "AlmondJoy" when I think of you that the "MilkyWay" can't contain my love. To say I "Caramello" you would be an understatement. You are the "Goodbar" in my day, the Ali to my Danielson, your "Snickers: make me smile, and I don't care how much of a "Goobers" that makes me sound. I'd never thought I'd "Skor" a gorgeous, smart, funny ,sexy woman that makes me "RedHots," and I'd give up all the "100Grand's" in the world to show you how grateful I am for your love. I want to "Hershey'sKiss" you everyday and make beautiful "3Musketeers" with you.

But first...

When I finish reading, I can't contain the overflow of happy tears. As I pull the board away, Brayden is on one knee with the most spectacular pink diamond between his fingertips.

"Lillian Elizabeth Anderson, will you marry me?

Chocolate and Brayden. He made it impossible to resist.

Like I'd ever want to.

Of course, I said yes, which leads me back to where I am now, soaking up girl time with my favorite little people. 

“So, today is you and Uncle Brayden’s ammiversary?” Hailey asks.

I giggle. “Yes, Hailey. It’s our anniversary,” I correct.

“What do you do on your anniversary?” Harper questions.

And here starts the daily round of 20 questions for the day. But I secretly love answers questions about me and Brayden.

“Some people like to go out to dinner or somewhere special. Uncle Brayden and I like to fly to Florida for the weekend.” I place the note on the island and walk to the living room to sit on the couch. I knew with Addy that a pregnancy could take a lot of out you, but I never expected this. Then again, this is my first.

The girls come sit on either side of me as I wrap an arm around both of them. I remember Brayden and I tried to have children early, but it wasn’t in the cards for us. We stopped trying about that first year and just let things happen as they may. Surprisingly seven months ago, I found out I was a week late, and here I am eight months pregnant with our first son, Ethan Michael. The girls are extremely excited to not only welcome their cousin, but their little brother, Collin, as well.

That’s right. Addy and I found out we were pregnant on the same day. We were eating at a little hole in the wall place around our neighborhood when our food came. We both inhaled the scents of pepperoni pizza and breadsticks when we shared a look of complete nausea and ran to the bathroom both throwing up what we had in the morning. After we cleaned up, we laughed and joked about both of us being pregnant. I smiled and Addy proceeded to pull me to the nearest drugstore for two tests. We came back to my house and took the tests. Sure enough, four pink lines were staring back at us.

Obviously, I couldn’t wait to tell Brayden the good news, and I rushed over to his office with the positive test in hand. When he lifted his head from his pile of paperwork, a smile dawned his face the second he knew it was me.

“What are you doing here, baby?” he asked clearly exhausted from the amount of work he’s done lately.

“I was at lunch with Addy, went home, and then came to see you. I needed to see you.”

“Why? Are you okay?” Worry washes over his face.

“No. I’m not okay.” I say with the straightest face.

He pushes away from his desk with wide strides to meet me in the space between his desk and the door. After wrapping me in a hug that never fails to take me to a serene place, I can’t help but have a tear escape. He pulls back a few inches to study my face. As we wipes the tear from my eyes he says, “Tell me what’s the matter, Lil. You know I hate to see you cry. What’s made you so upset?”

“I’m not upset,” I reply, trying to get myself under control.

“You’re not? Sure look upset to me.” That smile. I’ve gotten lost on that smile more times than I can count.

“I’m not.” Sharing a smile of my own for assurance. “Look.”

I hand him the long, slender white box with a black ribbon. He eyes the box, slightly confused, before pulling the ribbon and opening the box. If I never saw Brayden cry before that moment, I wouldn’t be able to comprehend what I was seeing.

“Is this for real, Lil? Am I really going to be a dad?” The awe and wonderment in his voice makes me lose control again.

“Yeah.” I hug him tight around his middle. ”Are you happy?”

“More than you can ever imagine.”

It was one of the best moments of my life, right next to Brayden purposing, our wedding day, and the moment on the plane when he told me he loved me for the first time. I cherish all of our moments, but those are some of the biggies.

The front door opens as I snuggle with my darling nieces, and Addy walks in with Teenie, Riley, Gwen, Courtney, and Sarah laughing with bags hanging from each of their arms.

Addy immediately drops her bags, slowly drops to her knees, and holds out her arms. “Come here my little lovies.” Hailey and Harper hop down and run into their mom’s arms with squeals and giggles. “How was your day with Aunt Lily?”

“Awesome!”

“Great!”

They both take one of Addy’s hands and pull her up. “Come on mom. We have to show you the pretty flowers Uncle Brayden gave Aunt Lily,” Hailey starts.

And true to form, Harper has to add something too. “They’re sooo many and really, really pretty.”

Addy’s daughters drag her to the kitchen as Riley and Courtney help me to get off the couch.

“So, how this little momma doing today?” Riley begins.

“Tired, tired, and, well, tired.” I smile big because no matter how tired I am, I will always enjoying spending time with my family and friends.

"Keep that baby in for another two weeks. I'll be back in maternity by then," I hear Sarah add.

Sarah's been part of our group since that dreaded day five years ago. She transferred to the maternity ward after she found out Addy was pregnant with the twins. We all love her and her new husband Declan. It's quite amusing to see her five-foot nothing stature next to Declan's six-foot three, they're completely adorable together.

“Come on, Lil. We picked up some presents for you to pack before you and your husband’s trip to the beach.” Teenie, what can I say about this woman. She’s crazy and pushy, and I love her to death.

“I got you the pink one. Just remember that when Brayden's looking at you with sex in his eyes,” Gwen adds.

“What’s sex?” Hailey and Harper add simultaneously.

Ugh. So not even remotely old enough for this conversation.

“Nothing.” Everyone of us say in unison, which causes massive giggling.

“Knock, knock.” And that would be my brother-in-law.

“Daddy!” Hailey and Harper exclaim.

“Come take your wife, Brendan,” I say as I bump my pregnant sister-in-law’s hip with my own bulging one and we share a smile.