Doubting Our Hearts (28 page)

"You'll call me with updates and, obviously, if she wakes up, right?"

"You'll be the first." He let's go of Addy's hand to stand and give me our manly brotherly hug. "Now, go get your girl. Maybe she'll come home with that pink rock on her finger."

I hope so. God, I hope so.

******

Once I land in Jacksonville, my nerves set in. Although I'm not nervous about spending time with Lil's parents, I think it's more about her not being here and whatever happens during this visit could alter the relationship I have with Lil.

I walk up to George and shake his hand. "Hello, sir. It's nice to see you again. You're looking well," I say as I start walking beside George toward the parking garage.

"Cancer's still there, but I'm fighting it. How was your flight?"

I shrug not thinking too much about how my thoughts wandered as I sleep through the flight in first class. "Like any other. What's on the agenda for today?"

"Actually, I was hoping I could get your help on something."

"Sure. I'm good at a fair few things. What sorta things you have in mind?"

We step through the glass doors leading to the garage, and I spot it. a gorgeous candy red 1957 Bel Air. Whitewall tires, white soft top, chrome you can see your face in, two white leather bench seats, and a dashboard with gauges galore waiting for me to run my fingers over. If this car was a woman, she'd be Miss July. I'm already imagining driving down the streets with decade music going, top down, summer wind in my face, and Lil smiling as her air whips around her face while two kids sit in the back talking with each other.

"Get yourself together, son. It's just a car."

I must look really stupid right now admiring this beautiful piece of machinery. I like a good muscle car as much as the next guy, but these vintage cars with their style and curves, they're a work of art.

"George, your car is a thing of beauty. I have no qualms saying I am instantly in love."

"Kinda like you love my daughter?"

My eyes meet his, and I can't tell if he's trying to make a joke or trying to see if I have some materialistic need to love a car over his little girl.

"Although the car is fantastic, it doesn't hold a candle to Lillian."

"Good answer. Now, let's get in and get back to the house. We've got some fishing to do and a car to check."

Chapter 35

Lillian

The last two weeks have been nothing short of amazing. The week with my sisters turned out to be one big giant sleepover. We caught up on Faith's school, Jenny's job, and my life in New York. I've never felt better than just hanging out with my sisters.

Okay, that's only marginally true. One man's company makes sister time come in second. A very close second.

That man has texted me every day since I've been in Florida. I want to be upset. I want to believe he's better off without me. However, with each passing day and each endearing message, the more he appears in my thoughts, both awake and while dreaming.

While I was having lunch with Alexandre last week, he had to snap me out of my Brayden daydream, which was highly embarrassing. The more I got to know Jenny's boss, the more I knew he was the one for her. Not only is he sweet, he's also easy on the eyes, and completely smitten with Jenny.

I did bring up the fact I knew what her tattoo meant, and of course he blushed, but quickly explained.

"Your sister is quite stubborn."

I just shrug. I can't deny it because it's true. "You learn to get use to it. She just wants to make her own path in the world. Being the middle sibling, she had to make sure she identified herself from Faith, the baby, and me, the older protector."

"I completely understand. I have two younger brothers and an older sister. Jenny and I share some of the same idiosyncrasies."

I nod not really wanting to dive into what these habits are that they share. It's really better that I not know.

"I'm really dying to ask you about this tattoo. You must understand my reasons for wanting to know a bit more about the man that has such long-lasting admiration for my sister.

Alexandre laughs to mask some emotion that’s quite vibrant in his eyes. Almost like he doesn't feel the need for my approval of their relationship, but knows I'm an important part of Jenny's life.

"Just be honest with me, please. I'm not upset nor am I here to go back running to her. She doesn't even know I'm meeting with you. I simply want to know the simple version."

"I can respect that," he says as he takes another sip of wine. "There’s no doubt your sister’s beautiful, but it's more than that. It's the fact she doesn't let me do what I want that makes me want her more. She's my personal verbal boxing partner. She keeps me challenged and sharp. And, yes, I do love her despite some of the things she's said about my behavior. However, she knows none of this. Yet."

"She hasn't said much, honestly, but I do appreciate you taking the time to clear this up for me. She's into you, more than she'll admit to me or herself. Be careful with her. She may seem strong, but inside I know she's scared to take the risk."

Needless to say, Alexandre has my sisterly seal of approval. I may not know the ins and outs of their relationship, but he seems to have his heart in the right place for her.

I just can't help but think that Brayden feels the same toward me. His messages haven't stopped. It's like he checked out for a couple of weeks, and now things are different, like how they were in Tampa.

The few shoots I had in Miami that first week went well as has the subsequent gigs in the Keys. It was actually nice to lounge on beaches and relax by myself. Even though the alone time gave me more than enough time to think about Brayden and our situation, my heart softened. I realized I'm not as upset as I was back in New York. That might have something to do with the calming atmosphere of palm trees and beaches, but I needed this, for myself.

The cooling sounds of the rustling water and breeze in my face made me realize I want Brayden as a friend, and my silly girl avoidance act is just not cutting it. I'm not one to ignore my problems. I face them head on, regardless of the consequences.

My revelation hasn't made me respond to his messages though. I feel we need to have a discussion, and you can't do that through texts.

Since my flight back to New York leaves tomorrow morning, it gives me enough time to drive back to my sisters' place and spend one more night with them before I fly home. They're obviously just as excited as I am to have even one more night with me, and I'm grateful that Jerry is allowing me this break with my family.

As I'm pulling up to Jenny's apartment building, Faith is exiting. She sees me and grins.

"Hey. I was just going out to pick up some things. Wanna come?"

I pull my suitcase from the trunk of the cab and meet her on the sidewalk. "Nah. I'm beat, and I need a shower desperately. What are y'all getting for dinner?"

"Jenny wanted lasagna and I wanted caesar salad. Any preference?"

"Salad sounds great. How 'bout pick up the stuff for chicken caesar, I'll make it, and pick up Jenny's order from Graham's around the corner."

"Well, yeah. Like I was going to slave over a stove for two hours making her my lasagna. Ha! See you in a bit." Then Faith is off walking to the store.

Faith’s so carefree and bubbly. Such a difference from me and Jenny. I'm calculating and practical whereas Jenny’s bound and determined to do things exactly how she wants them done. Faith just rolls with the punches and always has a smile on her face. Her personality is warm and inviting, which is just one of the reasons I think she'll make a great therapist.

When I walk into the apartment, I can hear Jenny's voice echoing. No doubt she sounds mad, but from what? I guess I'll have to eavesdrop.

"Why are you being like this?" She asks then a few seconds later she growls. "You can't stake some claim over me from one night
months
ago!" Silence. "Because we don't have a thing! We're not a thing! There is no fucking
thing
going on!" She huffs and stomps around a bit. "Alex," she warns. Well, now it just got really interesting. "We had one great night. Don't ruin it by acting all caveman. Can you not handle sex? You're all emotional like a damn woman!"

I can't help it. I start cracking up laughing. No more yelling or screaming floats through the room, but when I open my eyes almost crying from laughter, Jenny is standing right in front of me with daggers that could seriously kill. I cough and get myself under control.

"I'm sorry." I cough again then giggle. I really can't control it. All put together, demanding Jenny and her big mouth. I immediately shut up. Eww. I do not want to imagine Jenny's big mouth. "So, yeah. Sorry 'bout that."

I can see her grip on the phone getting tighter then her jaw drops. "How do you know my sister?" She asks menacingly.

I answer, but it comes out as a question instead. "I am your sister?"

"I've got to go. I'll be in the office Monday at 8." And she hangs up. No goodbye or anything. I kinda feel bad for Alexandre now. "Explain why the hell did you meet with my boss. Like. Now."

I come up with something as quick as I can and hope it placates her. "I asked him to lunch to make sure he was treating you well. Nothing happened. He was every bit the gentleman." That's good, right?

"I call bullshit. You're never one to lie, Lil."

She has me there.

"Okay fine. I met with him to get the inside scoop on him okay. I worry about you, and I guess I wanted to make sure he was an alright guy."

Her posture softens at my explanation, and I already feel better. I don't like being on the other end of a heated discussion with her. "I love you even though you can do some annoying things and be overly nosey."

I go to wrap her in a hug and squeeze tight. "I know you love my overly protective sisterly ways." When I pull back I can't help but poke at her some more. "So you gonna tell me about this magnificent night with the Frenchman or what?"

She pushes me off her with both hands and laughs. "No! You need to kiss and make up with Mr. Knight."

My shoulders sag and I let out a breath.

Brayden.

******

I managed to get up fairly early to prepare for my flight home. I stayed in the shower a bit longer than needed, but it felt nice to savor the warm water on my skin. I need to be relaxed today, since, as of last night in a drunken haze of sisterly bonding, I decided the first thing I'm going to do when I get to New York is find Brayden and apologize for avoiding him for the past month.

It was all part of a deal Jenny and I made. I promised to make amends with Brayden if she promised to get off her high horse and let things happen with Alexandre. She said things already happened with him, but she knew I meant emotionally and not physically.

Here concludes my time in Florida. I've packed my suitcase and my carryon is set to go. As I look to my phone for Brayden's morning message, I'm disappointed to see it's not there. Come to think of it. It wasn't there last night either.

"What's wrong? Looks like you just got terrible news or something." It would be Faith.

"It's nothing," I reply then change the subject. "Are you going to miss me?"

"Do I look stupid? Of course I'm going to miss you! I wish you could come move down here with us, but I doubt that's what you want to do. I mean, if this Brayden guy is anything like you've described him, I would wanna be where he's at."

"Remind me next time not to drink and tell you everything. Too much information for you is
not
a good thing. It makes you annoying." I pull her into a hug. "But, I love you anyway."

"I love you too, Lil. I'm gonna miss you."

"Me too." I squeeze a little tighter knowing Faith has to go to class and she won't be at the airport when I leave.

"Alright you two. We need to leave now if we're going to make it to the airport in time for Lil's flight," Jenny says as she grabs her purse from the counter and heads toward the front door.

"Call me as soon as you land. Be safe," are the parting words from Faith as I pull my suitcase out the door.

"I will. See you soon."

The ride to the airport is taking longer than it should, and I notice Jenny is doing everything in her power to go slower than she should. I stare at her for a few moments.

"What's the deal, Jen? You say we need to hurry, and you're driving like Grandma Rose. If you have something you need to say, you should spit it out already." I keep my eyes on her, but she doesn't answer. Only a knowing smile plays on her face, but she never looks at me or attempts to answer my question.

For the remainder of our ride, she keeps checking the time on her phone, which only makes me nervous. I try to concentrate on my flight and how I'm going to get to see Brayden, but it still doesn't help this nervousness she's brought upon me.

After parking and getting my ticket and her pass to get through the security gates, Jenny insists on going into every one of the shops checking her phone what seems like every other minute.

"Hey. I can get on the plane from here. You don't have to stay." You're just making me uneasy. "You can go into work."

She puts down the magazine, which I'm sure is the same one she picked up in the previous two shops. "It's okay. Alex gave me the day off so I could come here with you."

"That's nice of him." Maybe he shouldn't have if she was going to act like this.

"Yeah. I guess so," she responds not looking at anything in particular. "Hey, look at this. I'm getting us each one."

"One what?"

"These bracelets. Me, you, and Faith." She hands me the bracelet. It has a thin leather band and a small strip of metal connecting the leather that reads
I Love You More
. It's something you could find out of that SkyMall magazine on airplanes, but if this is what she wants to buy, go for it.

"It's pretty, Jen. Thank you, and I'm sure Faith will like it too."

Jenny pays for the bracelets, and we finally head through security. The line isn't that long, but I know I need to get to my gate because they start boarding thirty minutes before the flight leaves.

We get to my gate right as the airline starting calling for first class passengers. That's when I notice Jenny keeps looking at the gate across from mine and then down to her phone again. She fidgeting and almost looks like she's going to cry or say something to stop me from leaving.

I don't want to leave her either, and I realize she's trying to stall me because she loves me and misses me. I let out a breath, put on a good smile, and smother her with my embrace. The nervousness leaves my body and tears start to fall down my cheeks.

"I'm going to miss you most of all. No matter where I am I love you. Please tell me you're going to give Alex a chance. He's a good man."

Her sniffling doesn't help my emotional state, but I keep her tight in my arms a few moments longer. "You promised to give your Brayden a chance too. Don't forget that."

"I'm going to see him when I get in. I have no idea what I'm going to say, but I still need his friendship. That's the only thing I know for sure right now." I want more than that. I want it all, but I need to be his friend.

"I love you so much, Lillian."

"I love you too, Jen." I pull back and see her wet eyes. "I have to board now, but I promise to call you guys when I get in. Maybe you can ask your boss for a few days to come see me. My place isn't big, but you'd like the park."