Down and Out (Hawks MC: Caroline Springs Charter Book 3) (16 page)

Her eyes narrowed, her chin jutted out and up, and she hissed, "Yes."

"This isn't enough, Mena."

"It's done me fine for nine months, Kalen."

"I want you in the house every night to eat with us."

"No." Her hands went to her hips, an action I was becoming familiar with, and her upper body edged forward.

"Why in the fuck not? Do you hate being around me so much you refuse to be in the house when Koda isn't around? I haven't been a prick to you for a long time, Mena. You don't have to hide from me now."

Her eyes widened. "No, God no, Kalen." Her sass was gone. Her bottom lip trembled. A lip I wanted to take between my goddamn teeth and suck on. "You've already done so much for me. I couldn't ask for more." She sighed. "I don't want to become a nuisance."

Groaning, I scrubbed a hand over my face and stepped close to her. "Sunshine, you'd never be a nuisance. And Jesus, it's only food. Food you fuckin' cook anyway for me and Koda, so why not make a little extra for yourself. You eat lunch outta my cupboard already, so what's another meal that I don't give two fucks about. And hell, you eat like a mouse anyway. Just… do it for me?"

With the back of her hand, she wiped the tears that escaped. Hell, she was even stunning when she cried. Most woman got all snotty, red-eyed, and crazy looking. She didn't.

"Okay," she whispered to the floor and then looked up at me. "Thank you."

Rolling my eyes, I smiled and said, "Woman, don't thank me. Koda and I love your cooking. If anything, I'm being selfish for that reason alone." She giggled. "Have you eaten already?"

"Well, yes."

"Come in for a snack then." I didn't want to lose her company just yet.

"I'd like that. But I should get changed first."

"Sunshine, it's right out there." I gestured with my thumb outside. "I don't think anyone would see you in your pyjamas, and I promise to keep your fascination with Big Bird a secret."
Her cheeks pinked and my dick twitched, like it did every time I saw colour touch her face. I chuckled and then reached out for her hand. Dragging her outta the room, I closed her door and led her to the house. Once inside, I let go of her hand and grabbed the baby monitor outta the back of my jeans and placed it on the table.

"What do you feel like?" I asked, heading for the cupboards.

"Anything, thanks." She took a seat at the kitchen table while I got out some bread and vegemite, then the butter from the fridge. "I'm not much of a cook, but I can do a mean vegemite sandwich with cheese."

She smiled. "Sounds great to me."

We were silent until I placed her sandwich down in front of her with a bottle of beer. "You do drink this, right? You weren't just being polite last time and just had it for the sake of it?"

"No, I really do drink it. Though, it may go straight to my head."

"Don't worry, I'll get you to bed if it does."

Not sure which bed it would be, though.

Fuck. No, I can't be thinkin' that shit.

"So, um, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah." I nodded and watched her take a bite of her sandwich, chew, and then swallow. Hell, was I staring too much? I took a pull of beer and waited while munching on my own.

"How did you become a biker?"

Sitting back in the seat, I shrugged. "My dad used to be one. Guess it was born and bred in me. Though, I hated the club he was with. Rough, mean fuckers who didn't give a shit about anything. They sold powder, pussy, and guns. Knew I'd never want to be a part of that when I saw the shit my mum went through worrying about the dick."

"Hawks doesn't deal with any of that?" she asked hesitantly. It was my fault for her thinkin' I would say shit about myself. I'd never broached the subject of me and wanted nothing to do with her either. But shit had changed.

"Fuck no. Which is what I admire about them. Some of my brothers and I used to live in Ballarat where the main charter is. Talon is the president for all charters. When he got in charge, he stopped all illegal bullshit happening in the club. He wanted it clean, so all brothers could breathe easy. Now we own some strip clubs and mechanical places we help out in. Then, Talon sent me and Dodge down to Caroline Springs to help Pick and Billy out when they were goin' through some shit with Josie. Now it's home for us."

"You all seem really close," she commented before taking her last bite.

"Yeah." I smiled. "It's the way things are in the club. Fuckin' proud to call them all my brothers. They know I'd be there for them for anything, and I know it's the same for me. Like today, they're only a phone call away, and they'll willingly drop shit to help me out. Like I'd do for them."

"How come, um, why did you move from them?"

Shit. Wasn't sure I was ready for that conversation.

"One day, I'll head back. My life
is
in Caroline Springs. For now, I just needed time for me and Koda." Taking the last gulp of beer, I leaned forward and told her, "Koda's mum…" Fuck. "She died giving birth to him." She gasped. Her hand went up to cover her mouth. "Thing was, I didn't know she was pregnant until the day she gave birth to him."

"W-why?"

Picking at the label on the bottle, I said, "She was sick. I knew she was tired all the time, but I thought it was stress from uni. She didn't tell anyone she had a tumour around her heart and brain. She got pregnant with my kid because she wanted to leave something of her behind."

"You loved her," she whispered. How she knew it, I had no clue. Maybe she read it on my face.

Nodding, I said, "Yeah, I did. I had so many months with her, but I was chasing her way before that. Then she decided she wanted to protect me from seeing her sick all the time, so she left with my kid in her."

"So you missed out on Koda growing in her and being able to take care of her when you loved her and would have done anything for her."

Well, fuck. She got it in one.

"That's it. I was pissed for so long and mourning her at the same time. I took a lot of shit out on you, and I'm fuckin' sorry for it."

She smiled shyly and shrugged. "I knew something was battling inside of you. I just thought you hated me."

A snort escaped, and then I said, "I doubt anyone could hate you."

"Oh, there have been a few."

Getting up, I went to the fridge to grab another beer. Turning, I asked, "Want another?"

She lifted hers, shaking it. "I still have half, and besides, I have to be up and ready early for Koda. Um, how are you liking work?"

"S'okay," I said, sitting down. "Keeps me busy. For a while there, I hated it because it kept me away from Koda, but I realised I was becoming too protective of him."

"Worried something would happen to him as well?"

"Yeah, I was. To the point, I was looking up homeschooling him. Wouldn't surprise me if I tried to get one of those bubbles for him to live in." She giggled. "No joke, even a sumo suit was a possibility. Then, I wouldn't want him picked on, so I'd have to get one for myself and beat any fucker who said shit."

She burst out laughing. "Stop," she begged. "I keep picturing it," she managed through her giggles. After she had calmed down, she told me, "I'm glad you're protective, but I'm also glad you got a job, or I wouldn't have met either of you—and, um, Judy is amazing. So easy to get along with." She blushed. "Anyway, um, I've been wondering for a while, and even your friends wouldn't tell me, but why Dive for a biker name?"

Fuck me sideways and with a cactus.

Jesus, I felt my cheeks heat.

Of course she saw it, even around my beard, because she said, "It can't be that bad."

"Sunshine, it's best you don't ask right now."

She sat straight and clapped her hands. "No way, I need to know now."

Groaning, I sank down lower in my seat and begged, "Please don't ask me."

"Oh, my God. How can Dive be so bad? I don't get it unless you like to dive into trouble?" I shook my head. "Dive into food?" Another headshake. "Alcohol?" Shake. "Wait, it has to be something biker, right?" I shrugged. She tapped her chin while she thought about it. "Riding, you like to dive into riding or fixing bikes?"

"Sunshine, for the love of Harleys, please do not ask me."

She giggled. Maybe I shouldn't have given her that beer. "No, I'll get it right."

"You won't," I stated.

"How long have you been a biker?"

"Since I was sixteen, but with Hawks for only fifteen years."

"Did you have your club name at sixteen?"

"Shit," I grumbled low.

Her hand slapped the table. "So it's something juvenile."

"Think it's time for you to head back," I said, standing from my seat.

She jumped up. "It is something juvenile. This is precious. Oh, my God, what could it be that you would be embarrassed about?"

Hell, I'd never, not once, been embarrassed about my club name. In fact, I thought it the bomb, loved sharing it with all women. Until sunshine. I didn't want her to know what a dirty fucker I was.

Stepping close, I watched as she slowly looked up into my eyes. "Woman, you need to leave this alone."

Her smile was huge. "I can't. It's too juicy not to know." She licked her lips. My eyes followed, and I wondered what she tasted like.

"Christ, all right, sunshine. I'll tell you, but I'll walk you back first." Taking her hand again, because any chance I could get, I felt like I needed to touch her. I took her outta the house and opened her door to the shed where I shifted her in, turned her, and said, "The name Dive." She nodded. "I claimed it because I love to dive into pussy with my mouth." With a hand on her belly, I gently shoved her back and closed her door. Still, I didn't miss her eyes widen, only to sink lower and fill with heat. Nor did I miss the gasp that fell softly from her lips.

Fucking hell. My cock, already a semi from being around her, grew rock-hard at the thought of her playing with herself while picturing me diving into her pussy.

My steps back to the house were fast. Temptation beat at me to turn back around to find out if my image could come true. Fuck, the image was too much.

Chapter Sixteen

Two Months later

Mena

Ever since Kalen had said those words to me, that he liked, no he
loved
to dive into pussy with his mouth, my panties had been wet. And, nearly every night, I touched myself picturing it was Kalen caressing me. Kalen with his mouth down there on me, and Kalen slipping himself deep inside of me.

My raw, lust-filled emotions were driving me insane. I couldn't get his words out of my head. So much so, every time I saw him, my dang cheeks would colour, and he knew why as well. In fact, he seemed to enjoy seeing my cheeks pink because then he would give me a cocky smirk or wink.

Despite the sexual tension between us, we never made a move to the next step. I'd considered it plenty of times, but I was worried he was still in love with Koda's mum. I worried I would lose what I had if I tried anything. My life was finally feeling safe and happiness had become a regular fixture. I wasn't ready to take a risk and ruin it all for me to have sex with Kalen. There was also a chance that if we did, things could go down the drain after. I couldn't handle that happening.

Living in the shed helped a lot. It was that little bit of extra space between us I needed. Though, we still ate dinner together every night, and Kalen and I talked for an hour or so after Koda was in bed. Those talks were near torture for me. I wasn't sure if it was just me feeling it, but I had to fight with myself each night from jumping him. There seemed to be extra heat in our glances, the extra lingering of touches if we accidently brushed against each other.

What also didn't help was the few mornings I got into the house early and caught Kalen coming from the bathroom in nothing but a towel. He didn't notice me each time. A stray thought had hoped he would because I wanted to see where it would go… no doubt with me blushing and running from the house. Though, in my fantasy, he would drop the towel and tell me to meet him in his room because he wanted to show me what a real man could do with his body.

So I stopped going in earlier to prevent my wayward crazy fantasy.

I had to stay strong.

There was too much to risk.

Judy had been on a trip, came back, and was away again on another. This one was a short one, and she'd be back in two days. Each time she left, I missed her. She was a wonderful mother and grandmother, and I had come to love her like a mother too.

Koda was growing so much. He wasn't quite walking yet, though his crawl along the floor was faster than when he'd started, and he liked to pull himself up on everything he could. Even one of the long skirts Judy had given me. The only problem with that was it was loose, so when he went to pull himself up, the skirt came down instead. Thank God, no one was around to see it beside Koda. He thought it was the funniest thing and tried to do it many times that afternoon.

Koda was now saying three more words: ball, ta (for thank you), and Nena, for my name. Of course, when he said it the first time, I used some of my saved money, and went out and bought him some large Lego blocks.

Staying where I was had helped me so much. My debt was growing smaller each week. I was saving, even if it was a tiny amount. The only problem was with the extra food I was eating, I was gaining weight. Still, there was no way I would complain. It was but a passing thought because I was safe, warm, never hungry, and I was cared for.

It was a Saturday. Kalen had given me the morning off, not that I usually worked or got paid for weekends, but I loved cooking for them. Though Kalen said he would handle breakfast, so I could have a sleep in. I didn't of course. My body clock seemed to like torturing me and waking me at six thirty every morning. Didn't matter, though; I had my morning planned out. I'd decided to treat myself. I even bought discounted nail polish, a facemask, and a waxing kit. All of it was a steal at five dollars. Just finishing the cobalt blue nail polish on my fingers and toes while I waited for my facemask and now nails to dry, I went to the kitchenette to make myself a coffee. `