Down and Out (Hawks MC: Caroline Springs Charter Book 3) (18 page)

Getting dressed was an effort all on its own. My movement was restricted from the soreness. My vagina nearly revolted when I placed panties over it, but I wasn't wearing a dress and no panties in case I ended up flashing someone while getting lunch. Knowing my luck, it could happen.

My stomach dropped to my feet. My face and neck heated from just thinking of walking out in the kitchen. Julian had been down there.

Down there
and I had to face not only him but his partner as well.

God, and Kalen knew he'd been looking at me down there. So did Dodge.

I couldn't do it.

But I had to.

Strong. I had to be strong.

Even though my hands shook, and I felt like I was going to throw my precious chocolate up, I grabbed the door handle, twisted it, and started down the hall.

My body trembled. Sweat formed under my arms. There was no doubt I'd need another shower soon. Still, I kept my stiff body moving and stepped into the living room where I found Tex and Rommy. There was also a gorgeous dark-headed little girl, who looked to be a couple of months older than Koda. They were all on the floor playing until Rommy looked up and noticed me. She bounced up and came to stand in front of me.

"Hi, Mena, wanna come play?"

"I'd love to, but maybe later. I have to help Low in the kitchen with lunch." I touched a hand to her head and smiled down at her. Seeing Tex looking, I sent him a wave and he gave me a chin lift back. So like his uncle.

Before I chickened out, I walked past the window that connected the kitchen and living room and went straight into the kitchen, to the bench where Low was standing while all the men sat at the table.

"You okay, sweetness?" Julian asked.

"Fine, thank you," I said to the bench. My cheeks were so hot, not nearly as hot as my lower area, but still, if I didn't stop flushing soon, I was worried I'd pass out. Braving the world, okay room, I looked up to the table, met Mattie and Julian's gaze, and said, "Your daughter is beautiful."

Mattie smiled and said, "Thanks, we think so too."

Risking a glance at Kalen, I had to grip the bench hard to hold me up. His gaze was on me, only it was low. Oh, God, they'd told him. Stupidly, I thought they wouldn't say anything. Then again, they probably hadn't, but it was a damn good guess what had been going on. Especially since Julian was gay and wouldn't usually be caught dead in that area.

Inhaling deeply, I spat out, "I'm sorry you had to find Julian in that position. I don't know what I was thinking. But I wish we could
all
forget it even happened."

Mattie chuckled. "Don't worry about it, Mena. I really never know what Julian will get up to next, so I just go with it."

"He also knows I'm only interested in his lovin' and no one else's. Like I said, I'm a hot dog man, not a bun one or I could say—"

"We get it," Dodge griped. "Mena." He grunted, and I looked at him. "Don't stress. The image of my little bird next to you with your legs spread—" It all happened so fast. He shut up when a hand palmed his face and in the next second, he was forced back, his chair going with him, and they both crashed to the floor. He groaned and slowly rolled to the side, rubbing the back of his head.

"Not another fuckin' word," Kalen snarled down at him.

"Come on, brother." Dodge smirked. How could he find that funny? "It's about time I told everyone some embarrassing shit you used to do all the time."

"Oh, he did stupid shit." Low giggled. "Like the first time you met Lucia—"

"Low, no," Kalen growled in warning. My head went back and forth between them.

She hid her laugh behind her hand and went back to buttering some bread. "Suppose you have grown up a bit." She smirked and then winked. "So don't piss me off and manhandle my man, and I'll keep all the stuff you did a secret."

Kalen rolled his eyes at her, and then he glanced at me and smiled. "You gonna get some lunch goin' before we all fade away to nothing?"

Pulling my lips between my teeth, I bit down to hide my beaming smile. He was changing the subject. Giving me the out I wanted.

"I doubt any of you will fade away, but I will get on with it." Bumping hips with Low, I grumbled, "Men."

"Tell me about it, girl." We shared a smile and got down to lunch.

Our visitors didn't leave until late afternoon. I wasn't sure if I could call them
our
visitors, but I did. Low was a good friend now, and besides, Julian had seen my private parts, so he instantly became a friend once he went down there.

After they had left, Kalen went into town to do a few things while I took Koda for a play and walk outside. Kalen ended up ringing later saying he was bringing fish and chips home for dinner. I was happy with that; it meant I didn't have to do anything.

When he got back, I couldn't help but feel he kept eyeing my lower area more and more. I wondered what he was thinking. There was no way I would broach the subject, so we kept to small talk until Kalen decided to go deep, just not in the way I would have like him to. Instead, he asked about Mark.

"Do you miss him?"

"Every day," I said honestly. Kalen got a look on his face I didn't understand.

"If he were still alive today, do you think you would still be with him?"

I took my time to think about it. Shrugging, I replied, "Honestly, probably. Mark had been there for me through it all, being poor, losing my parents, putting up with the terrible things kids and then teens used to do and say to me. He was my best friend. I know I did a stupid thing standing by and letting him rake up a lot of debt, but I was afraid of losing him. I was afraid if I said anything, if I acted wrong… Everything was a worry for me. I didn't, no, I couldn't lose the only person who cared about me. Who would worry if I got sick, if I failed a test?" Laughing, I added, "Even if I stubbed my toe."

"He sounds like a great guy."

"He was." Biting my bottom lip, I shyly added, "But I was never in love with him, and I felt so guilty for it." Looking to Koda, I smiled when he shoved a fistful of fish in his mouth. "It's terrible to say, and I feel guilty for saying it, but if Mark was still alive, I would have regretted not getting a chance to meet Koda… and you."

Kalen suddenly scooted back his chair and stood, facing the sink away from Koda and me. His breath was fast. His back heaved from it, and after a few moments, I knew why because he said, "I wish Simone were still alive." My stomach dropped and my hands went to it. "I wish Koda got the chance to meet her. She was a fuckin' awesome woman, but…" He faced me. "Koda wouldn't have had the chance to meet you, and neither would I. I know what guilt feels like, Mena."

He did.

He knew it as much as I did.

He cleared his throat. "I better get Koda in the bath before bed." Then he smirked with a wink. "You'd better go rest your soreness. Couldn't help but notice you wincing and walkin' funny, sunshine."

I palmed my face as it heated. "You just had to go there." Quickly, I said a goodnight to Koda with a kiss and a lame wave to Kalen. I heard his chuckle as I walked out the door.

Chapter Eighteen

Dive

Mentally, I gave myself a pat on the back for not jumping across the table and taking Mena there on the floor. Having Koda at the table helped. When she talked about Mark, I felt like I wanted to throw up. She loved him. It was obvious when she talked about him. However, she admitted it herself; she hadn't even been in love with him. Guilt and fear had her staying with him and with the situation she'd been in, I could see why she chose it that way.

Everything she said I paid attention. Everything she did I watched.

She was constantly occupying my mind.

God, I'd been fuckin' hard all day from the thought of her bare pussy.

Walking outta Koda's room, a chuckle escaped me thinking about the messed-up shit that happened. When I'd first opened her door, after hearing her scream like someone was trying to kill her, I saw red. I would have ripped and beat Julian to a bloody pulp if Low hadn't been sitting beside them. Knowing something was up helped settle me. Still, the fact that Julian got to see her sweet pussy first pissed me right the fuck off. Then when he walked by and stated her curtains matched her drapes, and I didn't get the chance to see it, I was ready to take the fucker down. Luckily, Dodge grabbed me.

What in the hell had she been thinking? Christ, she'd be sore as fuck. I hadn't been lying about noticing her wince and sit slowly or walk with a limp. Dodge and I were fighting with ourselves the whole time not to burst out laughing.

The more time I spent with Mena, the more I liked. Christ, I never thought she'd try to wax her twat and then not be able to do it. She must have been in so much pain to accept help from Low and Julian. Hell, anyone could see she was highly embarrassed about it all. Any normal person would be. Still, the way she handled it told me she had guts.

The attraction was growing more and more each day. What I wanted was to go to her room and see the damage the waxing had done, see if there was anything, I could do to ease the pain. Shit, even my dick was jerking behind my jeans at the thought. I wanted her to spread her legs so I could get an eyeful. I wanted to kiss it better and then taste her juices.

Fuck me.

It was early, but with the thoughts I was having, I headed to my room knowing if I didn't tug one out, I'd be hard for the rest of the night.

Before I even got my door closed, I pulled off my tee and then shut the door. I went straight to the bed and lifted my pillow, staring down at what I'd stolen that morning.

Her lacy red panties.

I'd been searching through the dryer for a tee when I'd come across them. I'd snapped them up even before I thought about it. Like a druggie on a high, I'd put them to my face and sniffed, only to be disappointed when they smelled clean. Then I felt like a fuckin' dirty prick; still, it didn't stop me from pocketing them and taking them to my room.

They'd been on my mind all day. Picturing them against her pale flesh, imagining me slowly gliding them down her legs. That would be when I'd bring them to my nose, after she'd worn them to draw in her sweet scent.

Christ, my dick was leaking already from thinking of it.

Kicking off my boots, I undid my button on my jeans and slid them off with my boxers as well.

Was I really about to do what I was?

Jesus, yes.

Picking up her panties, I shifted the pillow back and sat on the bed, dragging my legs up as well. Bloody hell, I found myself wishing they smelt like her once again. I wanted to know her pussy scent. Fuckin' bet I'd enjoy it a lot.

Gripping my cock, I ran my hand up and down my hardness while grasping her panties in my other hand. I missed a woman's pussy. I missed tasting, eating, licking, and fucking one. It'd been too long just using my hand.

I wrapped her panties around my cock; the feeling caused me to groan. Closing my eyes and resting my head back against the headboard, images bombarded my mind.

Mena in nothing but those panties.

Mena opening my door to see what I was doing. Catching me with her panties, and then she'd say I didn't need them. She'd want to help me out.

Slowly, she'd strip her clothes from her body. I'd lick my lips from seeing her plump breasts on display. She'd crawl onto the bed at the end and look up at me hungrily. She'd want my cock in her mouth. My sunshine would beg for it. Still, I'd say no. I'd ask her to sit on her arse and open her legs to display her pretty pussy, and she'd do it, knowing how obsessed I was with her pussy.

Fuck, since I'd told her about my club name, each morning she'd come into the house with pink cheeks. I wished to Christ I had enough balls to see if she wanted me to show her how much I loved pussy, but I hadn't.

Soon, I'd change that.

Soon, I'd get a taste.

Hell, I was close to coming, so I slowed down my rhythm. Didn't stop the images flooding my mind. Of Mena sitting on the end of her bed, facing me with her legs spread. I'd ask her to touch herself. She'd smile shyly at first. Her eyes would lower, but gently, she'd reach out a hand and glide it over her soft flesh. Right to the spot, I wanted her to go. Her back would arch at the first touch, and I'd wish it was my hand touching her. She'd moan as she slid two fingers inside herself. Then all my restraint would be out the window. I'd grab her ankles and pull her towards me. Then I'd wrap my hand around her waist and sit her on my lap where she'd lean back so I could dip my own fingers in, pull them out, and suck her wetness off them.

My sunshine would be panting, wanting more from me and I'd give it to her. I'd bring her forward and line up my cock to her tight hole. Slowly, teasingly, she'd lower herself down on me. Her pussy would fit like a glove, like it was made for me.

"Fuck," I growled as my cum burst out of me, landing on my stomach. It kept coming as I ran my hand up and down, faster and faster.

I hadn't come that hard in a helluva long time. Christ, exhaustion took hold right after. I slammed my hand over to my nightstand where I'd placed tissues there earlier that morning, knowing what I'd be doing that night. I cleaned myself up and slid the panties back under my pillow before I rolled to my side and fell right to sleep.

Something dragged me from my sleep. I was sitting before I knew it and my ears strained to work out what had woken me. That was when I heard a cry.

"Shit, Koda." Sleep disappearing, adrenaline pumped in my veins. My son never woke crying, so I knew something was wrong. Jumping outta bed, I ran from my room and straight to him.

Mena was standing there in, fuck me, a tee and panties.

"Is he okay?" I asked. My heart felt like it was in my throat.

She jumped, not hearing me arrive over Koda's crying. She spoke up to be heard over his wailing. "I was just about to get in the shower when I heard him. My guess is he's not feeling well." As if Koda wanted to prove her guess, he vomited all over the front of himself and Mena. Then started crying again. "Oh, sweet boy. It's okay. We'll get cleaned up." She turned to me, "Do you—" She gasped and closed her eyes. "Kalen." My name was a moan. Looking down, I realised in my panic, I'd run from my room naked.