Down and Out (Hawks MC: Caroline Springs Charter Book 3) (20 page)

"We'll see how things go. I'm not ready anytime soon. Besides, Mum would kick my arse if I up and left when she was away."

A giggle fell from my lips. "She would." And now I found myself thinking about how much I would miss her when we moved. I already missed her when she was off with her friends travelling, using the money she got when her husband has passed. So when I moved, I'd miss her more.

"We'd come see her," Kalen said as if he read my mind. "Like I said, I'd keep this place, and we'd come up any time we wanted."

His words embedded in my chest.
Us. We.
Every time he talked about moving, he included me in it, and it sounded like more than just as his worker. At least it did to me.

Chapter Twenty

One Week Later

Dive

Even though I'd gone back to work the day after Koda got sick, I wanted to stay home. It wasn't because of my boy. No, he was back to himself since it was a twenty-four-hour bug. It was because of Philomena McAdams.

I wanted her time, her company, her heart, her mind, and in between her legs.

She seemed to want me as well. Her eyes followed me everywhere, or she'd seek me out, even if Koda was in bed, to spend time with me. We'd talk about anything and everything. She'd smile shyly, she'd blush, and maybe it was accidently, but she'd brush against me, and my dick would harden.

Wrong.

My dick was hard all the goddamn time.

My patience was wearing thin.

I wanted her to be the one to make a move, but I could see she wouldn't. She'd be worried. Worried, she'd lose her job, lose us, if things failed between us.

I wouldn't let it fail.

She was it.

The time we'd had together, getting to know each other, told me she was it. We were meant to be. I was meant to move, meant to meet her and have sunshine in my life.

Today, I was gonna show her how my life worked; see if anything she saw she hated or if it scared her. If her cute-as-fuck chin jutted out and up, showing nothing fazed her, then she was the right one for me. It would mean somehow, somewhere, someone was looking down upon me and sent me to the right area to find her.

Stalking outta my bedroom, I found Mena in the kitchen doing the morning dishes. Even though we had a dishwasher, she still liked to wash them by hand. Leaning against the doorframe, I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for her to know I was watching. Didn't take long, though. That was because my son in his high chair scribbling with crayons yelled, "Dada."

Mena jumped and spun to face me in the doorway. Her wide eyes narrowed. "What are you doing?"

"Decided to go for a drive."

"Okay, um, you know I'll take care of Koda." She shrugged and rolled her eyes like I was being silly.

"Also decided you're coming." I smirked when she stiffened. "Gonna go see my brothers in Caroline Springs. Wanna make it back by tonight, so get shit organised to leave ASAP, babe."

"But, um,"—she looked around the kitchen—"I have things that need to be done."

"Like what? It's the weekend, sunshine. You don't usually do anything on the weekend." She was so full of shit. She was scared because she knew I'd be taking her where the most important people in my life were.

"Well, maybe I need to, um… I promised Judy I would tidy her house before she got home on Monday."

My smile was a teasing one. "Bullshit. Babe, you're coming."

"No."

"Mena," I growled the word and glared.

Her hands went to her hips while her chin jutted out and up in her defiant stand. "I have things to do, Kalen."

"Mena, you can either get in the car on your own, or I'll carry you there." I raised a brow at her.

"You wouldn't."

"You know me by now, woman. I'll do it, and I'll enjoy doing it because I'll get to feel your body over my shoulder while I have the chance to cop a feel of your arse at the same time." Crimson flared across her cheeks, and her eyes widened. She proceeded to open and close her mouth like a dying fish. "Why don't you grab your purse and Koda's bag in the living room? I'll meet you out in the car."

"Um." She licked her lips. "Okay?" It came out as a question, but she started to move even before she'd finished saying it. A few words were grumbled as she passed while I chuckled.

By the time I got Koda out to the car, she was waiting in the front seat with a scowl upon her sweet face. I strapped Koda in, who was happy to get in the car; he loved going for a drive. He picked up his car toys and started playing and talking to himself. When I got in, my eyes went right to her legs.

Fuck.

She was wearing those damn denim shorts. I should've told her to change because I knew my brothers would be eye-fuckin' her legs the whole day. I just hoped to Christ I didn't have to hurt any of them.

As we headed down the drive, I explained, "We're gonna go to where I used to work. It's also a part of the compound my brothers hang out in. Want everyone to meet Koda." And Mena… I wanted to show them all what had brought me outta my darkness. Wanted everyone to see my sunshine.

"Um, okay. Not sure why I had to come, but okay." Her hands restlessly fiddled together on her lap.

"Don't you wanna see where you'll be moving to? We'll also go to my house. Low's set up Koda's room, but she did that a while ago, so things will probably need to be updated. You can work out what we'll need."

"Low mentioned there was a room at Nary's apartment I could probably rent—"

"No," I barked.

"Sorry?"

Gripping the steering wheel, I fought my anger at Low for even mentioning Simone's old room. What in the fuck had she been thinking?

"Kalen?"

I ran a hand through my hair, let out a heavy breath, and said, "That was Simone's old room." She gasped. There was no way in hell I’d want to see Mena in my old woman’s place. Too many memories. Too much to drag up from the past. Not that I was there much. Simone used to always come to me, but fuck, my last memories were when she went into labour, and then not long after, I'd lost her.

"I don't know why Low would—"

"Doesn't matter," I muttered harshly. "Just drop it." And those were the last words I'd said before we pulled into the compound car park.

Shit, I was being a dick again, but bringing up Simone had put a downer on my mood. I didn't even fuckin' get it. Maybe guilt was a part of it because the way I was feeling about Mena. Hell, I had to let that guilt go. I had to, or else I'd never get on with my life, and I wanted to. I wanted to thrive in the feeling Mena put in my heart. Crap, I sounded like a sappy dickwad.

Turning to Mena in the car, she was just about to get out, her hand on the door handle, but I reached over and placed my hand on hers.

"Sorry. Fuck, Mena. I close up and get shitty every time I talk about Simone, and I shouldn't. I was a dick snapping at you. It won't happen again. I need to make sure Koda remembers his mum like she wanted him to," I explained.

Her eyes focused on outside. Some brothers walked by or around the car. Still, they kept to themselves, knowing something was going on in the car. "You should start already with Koda. Show him photos of her, talk about her. Call her his mum. He's a gorgeous little boy, and she was a huge part of making him. He deserves to know who his mum is and what he meant to her and how much you both love her." She nodded to herself.

"Loved," I corrected.

Her eyes met mine, our faces close because I still held my hand over hers. "Sorry?" she whispered.

"Loved, Mena. How much I
loved
her. I'll always miss her, like you will Mark, and she still holds a part of my heart because of Koda and what we
had
, but that's it."

Her chest heaved up and down. Her eyes widened a fraction, and since I was still close, my eyes drifted down to her mouth, and I watched as her tongue peeked out and wet her lips.

We both jumped when something hit the bonnet. I pulled back and glared out the front window, only to smile seconds later when my eyes spotted Jason, Blue's younger brother.

"Hey, Dive." He grinned, took a hand up, and waved at us through the window.

A chuckle left my mouth. I opened my door and got out. Walking right to him, he stood tall and opened his arms for me. With a quick hug and a pat on the back, he pulled back and asked, "Did I interrupt something? It looked too intense in the car. Then again, it looked like you were about to kiss her. If I stuffed up, I could go, and you can get back in the car and kiss her. She's real pretty. Like really pretty. Not as hot as my woman, but still nice." He leaned in and whispered, "Could be as good as Clary, and that's saying something." He shoved my arm and laughed. "Do you want to get back in the car and—" A door slammed. We looked at the car to see Mena already out and with Koda in her arms. "Crap, too late now."

Jason was like a puppy, overexcited and go, go, go all the time. He was a great kid. Though, I couldn't say kid really; he was nearly twenty. He'd been to Ballarat to do his prospecting for his position in Hawks under the watchful eye of his brother. He'd only recently moved back. It was more for his protection than anything, so everyone knew not to fuck with him. He was also still in uni doing some computer course. Not that he really needed to be. He was fuckin' smarter than most. He got with his woman on his eighteenth birthday. We'd all come to celebrate it with him, and she'd stuck to him like glue since. She was a sweet, shy girl. We were all happy for him.

Placing my arm around his shoulder, I turned us to Mena and said, "Jason, this is Koda, my son, and the woman holding him is Mena, ah…" Shit, should I say, "my woman?" Didn't think that one through at all.

"Hi, Jason." Mena smiled. I felt Jason stiffen. "I'm Koda's nanny."

He leaned into me and said, what he thought was a whisper, "When she smiles, better than Clary."

My own smile was huge and it widened to a cocky grin when I saw Mena blush. Pretending to whisper, I informed him, "Couldn't agree more." Standing tall, I reached out for Koda, who came into my arms. Once he was on my hip, I tagged Mena around the shoulder with my free arm. "Babe, Jason is Blue's brother, a Hawks brother, and also a computer genius."

"He forgot more good-looking than most." Jason grinned. "But, I'm also taken. Sorry, Mena."

My woman giggled. "That's okay, Jason. I'm just glad to meet you."

"Same. Though, I have to get going. I promised my beauty I'd take her for a ride, and then Mum wants to do some family dinner thing tonight." He rolled his eyes, stepped forward, and grabbed Mena from my arms into a hug. "Take care of Dive."

When he pulled back, she offered him a wink, her cheeks lightening up once again.

"Later, brother." His fist came out. I hit it with my own and gave him a chin lift before he took off on a jog towards his own Harley. Blue and his mum worried about him and his bike every fuckin' day. Still, he wanted one, and he got one because he said he wasn't a real brother until he had one. That kid was kickarse.

Looking back to Mena, I asked, "You ready?"

"Um, if all your friends are like Jason, then yes."

Chuckling, I took her hand in mine and led her towards the front office where I knew Low would be working. "You'll see."

Opening the door, Low squealed, "Give me some lovin', handsome." I knew she was talking to my son. Still, I held out my arms and smirked. Low rolled her eyes and said, "Wasn't talking to you." She took Koda outta my arms and held him close, showering him with kisses all over his face. He giggled the whole time, loving the attention.

The office door opened and in stalked Dodge with a smile. "Brother." With a slap to my back, he then turned to Mena, who squeaked in surprise when he brought her into his arms for a hug. "Good to see ya, Mena."

"Y-you too." She smiled shyly.

Dodge looked to me and said, "Why don't you go show Mena around? We'll watch Koda."

Smirking, I noted, "Sounds like a plan." Which was what had been my intention. I'd rang Dodge early that morning, telling him about my decision with Mena, how she was moving with us when the time came. How I wanted her in my house, in my life more than what she was. I wanted her as my woman. But first, I wanted to see how she handled my brothers, coped around the compound, especially when she discovered what went on when my brothers were tying one on. It was the weekend, so I knew many would be enjoying their downtime.

"I can stay here with Koda if you want to go see your friends."

"Babe." I chuckled. "They're my brothers, and you're coming with me." Takin' her hand, I walked her out the office and into the mechanical area. Though, I didn't miss the big eyes she gave Low or the wink Low offered back.

Fuck, I hoped Mena could handle everything she was about to see.

Chapter Twenty-One

Mena

Vomit was slowly crawling up my throat, giving me heartburn. Or was my heart just burning because my nerves were all over the place? Why did he want to show me around? Why was it important for me to meet his frie—brothers?

I was already on my last bit of strength. Especially after I heard Jason saying it looked like Kalen was about to kiss me, and then
he
didn't deny it either. At the time, I had felt like he was going to touch his lips to mine. I was grateful he didn't because then Koda would have been witness to me losing my mind and devouring his father.

While we walked through the garage, all men said a hello to Kalen, but calling him Dive, and they eyed first our joined hands and then the length of me. Suddenly, I felt like I was under a microscope.

We came to a door at the side of the garage. I could already hear the music behind it, but before he opened it, he turned to me and said, "Remember, sunshine, we're bikers here. We like to party, live hard, and fuck just as hard." I blushed, and he smirked. "We're loud and can be full on, but never be scared. You'll always be protected. Not just by me, but all my brothers will have your back. It's what Hawks and the brotherhood is about."