Eclipse of the Heart (22 page)

She had initiated sex, nothing more.  He hadn’t agreed
to pretend he cared for her, never mind loved her. She was being foolish, and
if she tried to express any of this angst, he would have every right to be
annoyed.  It was only natural for two people planning to have sex to take
off their clothes.

Her heart pounded unnaturally as she stood there, looking at
him. Standing there in unbuckled pants, and a partially opened shirt, he
upended her world.  His broad chest was lightly covered with black hair,
but she could still see his brown nipples centered in his perfectly formed
chest muscles.  Those nipples were sharply peaked.  The realization
made her fascination grow and she felt her eyes almost involuntarily following
the line of dark hair that bisected his flat stomach until it disappeared
beneath his partially opened pants.  Yes, he was still aroused; there
could be no mistaking that fact.

He stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Have you changed
your mind?" he asked calmly.

"I don’t know if I can do this, after all," she
whispered. "It’s so cold."

"Sorry," he said. "I’m used to telling women
what to do."

"Of course.
When you're
paying, you call the shots."

His eyes narrowed. "This is not a commercial
transaction, Amanda. Let me also point out that you were the one who started
this."

Her lip wanted to tremble. How had this gone so wrong?
"I wanted to do something for you, Logan. Then, somehow, it turned into
you dragging me down the hall and bossing me around." She knew she was on
the verge of unreasonableness - she
had
started
this - but she couldn't seem to continue.

His gray gaze watched her coolly. "Most women like it
when I boss them around. To be honest, it seems the more I order a woman
around, the more she likes it."

"How many times do I have to tell you, I am not most
women!
"

He stilled, like a lion in the moment before he pounces on
his prey.
Watchful.
Unmoving.
Evaluating his victim.

Then he changed direction. Like the clever predator he was,
he adopted a new approach to get what he wanted. Even as she recognized his
methods, she was helpless before them.

"You're right," he said softly. "You are not
most women." He resumed unbuttoning his shirt, drawing it off and dropping
his pants. He stood naked before her. "I shouldn't have interrupted what
you were trying to do. I shouldn't have tried to take control."

He strode toward his bed, gloriously unconcerned with his
nudity. "I'm going to lie down here, and let you do exactly what you
want." He stretched out on the bed.

Amanda tried hard not to stare, though she feared she mostly
failed. "What if I don't want to do anything?"

"I'll be disappointed," he said, still in that
calm, unthreatening voice. "But I'll survive." He even managed that
half-smile that always undid her.

She took two steps toward the bed. "You're diabolical.
You know that?"

"I'm totally at your mercy. What more do you
want?" He crossed his arms behind his head. "I'll keep my hands right
here.
While hoping that you're planning to start taking off
those clothes.
I feel horribly disadvantaged here."

"You feel no such thing."

Her tough words were in direct contrast to the hot melting
inside of her. She reached out and touched what nature had designed him to
display so blatantly.

"Your clothes," he said. His eyes met hers.
"I'm begging here."

She smiled.
And discarded her shirt and
bra.
She watched his chest rise and fall as he struggled to control his
breathing. She leaned down and licked him again, slowly, enjoying his taste and
his warmth.

His whole body jerked. "Mandy," he whispered. His
hands moved into her hair.

She stood up and shimmied out of her skirt as his gaze
burned her.

"Panties!"

She hooked a finger in the side of her underpants and peeled
them down her hips, down her long legs, until they hit the floor. Then she
stepped daintily out of them. She knew exactly what she was doing now. Sexual
power roared through her as she saw the effect she was having on him. He didn't
love her, but he definitely wanted her.

When she was free of all her clothes, she placed her right
knee on the bed beside his hip. She ran her hands all over the middle part of
his torso, everything she could reach—his hard, flat stomach, his hips solid
with bone, his muscular thighs.

Last of all, she ran her hands over his eager, bobbing cock,
and his round, dark-haired balls.  She squeezed gently as he groaned with
pleasure.

When she lifted her other leg over his body, giving him an
intimate view of herself, she could see that he was nearly crazy with lust.
As she was herself.

She rubbed herself over him, once, twice, and then she
slowly impaled herself on him. He jerked again, pushing up into her hard,
jolting her.

"My God," he said. "That feels so good."
His hands grabbed her breasts and he ran his thumbs over her nipples.

She began to rise again, drawing out the move.

Abruptly, a look of pure horror crossed his face.

"Shit," he said. He grasped her hips and yanked
her off him.
"Condom!"

For one beat, Amanda felt nothing but shock as she lay flung
to the side, like an unwanted doll. He hadn't been half as far gone in lust as
she'd thought. Even now, he was reaching into a nightstand drawer.

In the next moment, she collected her thoughts. She should
be grateful that he wanted to be careful.
Even though it
wasn't necessary.
"I'm on the pill," she said.

He paid no attention to her words. Instead, he tore open a
condom. Within seconds, he was back inside her, with him on top this time.

Amanda cried out as pleasure warred with reality.

Her body joined eagerly with his, reaching for the best
angle, pressing against his solid hardness. But his actions had driven a spike
of reality into her head, reminding her that what they were doing had no
meaning beyond the superficial quest for erotic satisfaction.

Clearly, he didn't trust her about being on the pill. In her
mind, or maybe in her heart, something hurt. As much as she told herself to
enjoy the moment, it was hard to recapture the magic.

Feeling she'd gone too far to stop now, she made no effort
to halt the proceedings. Logan noticed the change in her mood quickly. He
slowed, and stopped moving, but didn't withdraw.

"I'm sorry," he said gruffly. "I didn't mean
to destroy the mood."

Despite herself, she twitched around him where he'd invaded
her. "It's all right."

He tipped up her chin so he could look down into her face.
"I don't ever want to have children," he said. His voice was fierce.

Amanda shivered. Did he think she was trying to trick him?

"I told you I was on the pill," she said quietly.
"I wouldn't lie to you about something so important."

He nodded. "I'm a careful man."

Not careful enough, a little voice whispered in her ear. If
she hadn't been on the pill, she could have gotten pregnant even without an
unprotected ejaculation.

He pulled out.

Pleasure shivered over her. That drag of his heated flesh felt
good.

She realized he was removing the condom, and she sat up,
feeling awkward. "I guess it's my turn to apologize."

He dropped the condom in a trash can and pulled on his
pants. "No problem."

She couldn't doubt his determination on the subject of children.
His eyes were pools of pain in a tired, strained face. But he wouldn't take
even the simple pleasure she could give him, if it would draw him into a
potential emotional connection.

Something inside Amanda hurt badly. But she still had a
choice to make. Whatever pain had afflicted him tonight was still present.
Would she try to alleviate it? Or would she be the kind of person who nursed
her own grievances, and pretended she didn't see where she could help?

Not that she was totally noble. Maybe her humming body
craved him more than it worried about the heartache that waited for her.

She held out her hand.

Logan took Mandy's hand, knowing he was a fool, but helpless
to reject the comfort she offered. He'd had a terrible day. Grief and hopelessness
had flooded every cell of his psyche. Surely he was entitled to a few minutes
of the forgetfulness he'd find in Mandy's body.

But he couldn't hurt her further. She'd gotten a peek at the
barrenness in his soul. Still, she offered herself. He was overwhelmed by the
selflessness of her gesture.

She was not one to give her body carelessly, or randomly.
He'd seen the affection in her eyes when she looked at him. He knew it wouldn't
take much nurturing on his part for that affection to blossom into something
more significant. But he also knew himself. He couldn't give her the emotion
all women wanted in return for sharing their bodies.

So he would have to be as considerate as possible in taking
advantage of her generosity.

He knelt beside her on the bed, and she flung her arms
around his neck.

He removed them.

"Let me do this, Mandy." He pressed his lips to
hers, gently, holding back when he only wanted to plunder her.

She kissed him back sweetly, letting him take the lead. He thrust
into her mouth, needing that much at least. She opened wider, welcoming him.
For a fraction of a second, he lost control, moving heavily over her, thrusting
his leg between hers.

Lust roared through his body in a firebomb that almost
blasted him back into cave man status, an animal, seeking pleasure regardless
of the vessel.

But he'd maintained self-discipline for too long. He grabbed
the thread of reason he still held and slowly, slowly, he regained control of
his actions. He forced his mind to reclaim control of his body. He pulled back
from her warm and wet mouth, a proxy for what he really wanted. Instead, he
pressed kisses to her tender neck, moving down to her shoulder. He couldn't
resist nipping her, and he turned her head to mark her beneath her ear.

Her limbs began to toss against the navy bed covering. He
flung his leg over hers, holding her in place, feeling an unworthy male
satisfaction that he could control her thus. He wanted her trembling and eager,
begging for his body.

He lifted his mouth so he could focus on her breasts. One
plump swell filled each hand and he played with them, ignoring her nipples
until she arched her back, pushing them toward his mouth and he knew it was
time to turn up the heat.

He dropped a kiss directly on one nipple, and then the
other. Her moan shot heat throughout him. He settled in to lick and suck those
nipples until he knew he'd drawn a coiled wire of lust from them to her core.

Her skin was so soft, her scent so enticing. He could have
filled his mouth with her tits forever. But her need was growing, and his was
pressing. He began to kiss his way down her body until he'd traveled below her
belly button. Then he shifted to move between her legs, easing her thighs
apart, feasting his eyes on the bounty spread before him.

He moved his thumbs to her opening, held them there for a
moment, enjoying the view while she squirmed and murmured incoherently. When he
couldn't wait any longer, he bent his head, licked deep inside her, and moved
upward.

His tongue found the button he wanted to please, and there
was no secret of her pleasure when he found it. Her hips thrust off the bed
immediately, as she gave a low cry. "Logan!"

He couldn't answer, except with the finger he thrust into
her. God, she was hot, and wet, and everything he'd ever wanted.

The thought rushed by, shocking him for a moment, but his
mind was closing down as her climax clearly was ratcheting up.

She strained against him, whimpering, and he alternated
licking with sucking,
changing
up his motion as soon as
he felt her orgasm on the verge of erupting. As much as he wanted her to
explode so he could plunge into her, he also needed to be sure he gave her an
unforgettable experience.

He played her like a symphony, drawing in one sensation and
then another, allowing each to build and almost crest, before drawing down to a
quieter interlude, and then building again. Each peak rose taller than before,
each rest fell on a higher plateau. He wanted the final climax to reach a
crescendo in which nothing existed but an explosion of pure bliss.

When she was trembling and panting, when he knew he'd
reached the limit of his restraint, he thrust another finger inside her,
grabbed her hips with his free hand, and held her tight as she convulsed
fiercely against him.

When he'd rolled on another condom and plunged inside her,
he was secretly thrilled that she continued to tremble against him.

"Don't stop," she cried out. Her fingernails
scored his back. "Keep doing exactly what you're doing."

"I'm the son of two musicians," he managed.
"I know how to maintain a rhythm."

He pounded steadily into her, determined to bring her to
another peak. But the more he was surrounded by her voice, her scent, and most
especially, the soft curves of her body, the more his control slipped. Until he
was driving into her without thought for anything but his own skyrocketing
pleasure.

The cave man came back, and conquered him.

Amanda couldn't move while she waited for her heartbeat to
calm down. Wow, that had been a mistake, but a delicious one. It was hard to
regret it and she probably wouldn't be unhappy about it, except for the fact
that Logan was, once again, distancing himself from her. He rolled off her,
pulled off the condom, and leaned over the side of the bed to dispose of it.
His behavior hurt more than it should, because it was nothing new. No matter
how many times they had sex – she couldn't call it making love – he would
always move away from her in the aftermath.