Edge of Chaos (Love on the Edge #1) (24 page)

My nerves continued to fray as the night wore on. A constant battle raged inside me. In an attempt to squash the uncontrollable sensations that flared every time Dash spoke to me or even touched my hand softly, I drew upon the many reasons we couldn’t cross the line. Best friends. Colleagues. Me, with no clue how to be in a non-toxic relationship.

“Blake,” Dash whispered.

I raised my head from where I’d been pinching the bridge of my nose while seated at the table. The room was dark with only the silver light of the moon slipping in from the window and the neon green glow from the alarm clock lighting it. John and Paul had crashed on the bed closest to the bathroom sometime during my mental cold shower.

Dash touched my shoulder and motioned toward the bed. “You take the bed.” He kept his voice hushed. “I can sleep in this chair.” He eyed the one I sat in, which wasn’t any better than a steel folding chair.

“Are you serious?” I asked.

He sighed. “I’m sorry we couldn’t get you your own room. You know the videos only pay so much.”

“It’s all right. I understand. You take the bed.”

“No, I want you to be comfortable.”

Paul groaned from across the room. “Ugh. Grow up. Both of you sleep in it and shut up.”

Dash rolled his eyes.

We stared at each other for a few moments. Dash shrugged and slid underneath the covers. I stood up but hesitated at my side of the bed.

How could I climb in there and
not
touch him? I sighed, the battle raging inside me was beyond ridiculous. A week ago the idea of Dash’s skin on mine was a super-secret-locked-up fantasy that only entered my mind in the lonely hours late at night. After knowing what he tasted like, though, it was all I could think about, despite the logical reasons not to.

I contemplated sleeping on the floor, but I was beyond exhausted now that the adrenaline from the chase had left my system. My muscles ached from the tension I’d held during the storm and clung to since we got back. Sleeping anywhere but the bed was just dumb.

“I’m not going to bite you,” he whispered and then lifted the covers on my side of the bed.

And with that, all my nerves and worries and doubts slipped away. I climbed under those covers and forced myself to relax. The mattress was horrible, hard and thin, but for some reason I’d never been more comfortable. I fell into a deep sleep listening to the sound of Dash’s even breathing.

Justin’s arm slipped over my hip and pulled me across the bed. He pressed his chest against my back, spooning me. My eyes were heavy with sleep, but I could feel the heat from his body as it radiated onto mine. I sighed as his hand trailed under my shirt and touched the soft skin beneath my ribs. Tingles erupted and raced up and down my body, causing a deep yearning in the pit of my stomach.

I rolled over and hooked my leg around his hip and tugged him closer. His fingers clutched my back and he squeezed me tighter. I took a deep breath, loving the way he touched me, like he savored me as opposed to rushing things like usual. His desire was evident through the thin cover of his shorts, and for the first time in a long time, I wanted him too. I nuzzled his neck, still trying to pry open my eyes. He smelled like rain.

Dash’s smell.

Strong enough to remind me Justin and I were no longer together.

Well, if I was dreaming I may as well go with it.

His warm hand slid down my side and gently clutched my hip, pulling me tighter against him. The ache between my legs roared with his agonizing, leisurely movements, but it was more than a want. I
needed
him. My hands moved on their own, reaching down to explore what I desperately wanted inside of me. Every inch of my skin flushed with heat. Either this dream broadcasted on high-def or . . .

My eyes popped open and I jolted. The motion fully woke Dash, who I happened to have my leg wrapped around, my hand resting between our nearly joined hips. His mouth dropped as he took in our tangled mess of a position.

His eyes hooded, mirroring my own in sheer lust factor. He raised an eyebrow, gauging my reaction before pressing his lips to mine. The kiss was gentle, until I relented, and then it escalated to a powerful need. I opened my mouth, letting him in, relishing his taste.

He shifted, encasing me in his strong arms. Still gripping him, I moved my fingers in a come hither motion, loving the groan that tore from his throat.

His breath was ragged as I moved my fingers underneath his shirt, trailing them down his perfect abs. God, I’d never felt muscles like this before, or craved someone so much. Dash slid his hand down my side and pulled his lips away from mine just enough to catch my eyes as he moved lower. He must’ve found the answer he wanted because he slowly slipped his hand inside my sweats.

He covered my moan with his mouth as he rubbed his fingers against me in a slow circle, drawing out a delicious tingling tension.

“God, Blake.” He sighed and slid a finger inside me with perfect ease.

He stroked me with a gentleness I wasn’t used to, and the aching within me climbed to an almost unbearable level. Every inch of my insides coiled and pulsed, begging for release. My toes curled as he expertly moved his fingers around my warmth, like he was made to touch me, and I was on the brink of what I knew would be the sweetest release imaginable.

A cell phone from across the room blared Imagine Dragons’ “Radioactive” yanking me out the moment.

John grabbed the phone and shut off his alarm. Seconds later he and Paul groaned awake.

Reality crashed over us both. We were so not alone in the motel, and we so shouldn’t be doing this.

“I’m sorry!” I whispered, drawing away from him. I covered my face with my hands to try and hide the heat coating my skin.

“It’s all right,” Dash’s voice was coated in early morning husk. He glanced down and quickly yanked the covers up higher.

A new wave of heat rushed over me, and I shoved my face in my hands again.

Dash chuckled, which made me want to punch him.

“This is so not funny!” I glared at him.

He continued to laugh. “It’s pretty hilarious if you ask me.”

A fierce hungry ache pulsed in the pit of my stomach. I hadn’t felt something like this . . . well, since the first time Dash kissed me.

He finally stopped laughing and raked his hands through his hair. He sighed and his eyes turned on me with the serious look he got right before he said something important.

“Blake . . .” He whispered my name, and damn if my heart didn’t stutter.

“Whose turn is it to get coffee?” Paul arched his back and stretched his arms.

Dash closed his mouth and swung his feet off the bed. He slipped on a pair of sweats over his basketball shorts before he stood up.

“Mine.” I ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then bolted out the door. I couldn’t be in that room anymore. I needed to get the scent of Dash out of my nose and the sensation of his body against mine out of my system.

The local coffee shop was empty, so they made our drinks entirely too fast. I decided to grab a dozen donuts from the gas station near the motel just to take up more time. Despite dragging my feet, I couldn’t make sense of the emotions boiling within me, and as I lugged my haul into the room I assumed I never would.

John grabbed two donuts and his drink. “I like having you around,” he said, taking a chomp out of a donut. “These two never think about breakfast.” He motioned to where Dash and Paul sat on the edge of the bed, a laptop perched on each of their knees.

Radar filled one screen and Dash’s site took up the other.

“How many hits we get?” John asked around his coffee cup.

Dash turned around and startled when he saw me, as if he hadn’t heard me come in. He quickly glanced away. “Twenty-four-hundred.”

“That’s amazing,” I said and handed him and Paul their drinks. Dash took his from me timidly, like I could snap at him any second.

My shoulders sank. I didn’t want him to feel awkward around me. The constant state of confusion finally hit a breaking point and I gave up my resolve.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” I asked him. He swallowed a gulp of coffee before nodding.

I walked outside the motel room and leaned against the building. Dash followed me a moment later.

“What’s up?” he asked, a grin shaping his slightly swollen lips. Had I done that?

“I’m sorry about this morning. Seriously, I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

Dash shook his head. “Always apologizing. What have I told you about that?”

“Well, I think the situation definitely calls for it.”

“No it doesn’t. I told you how I felt that night.”

“You . . . you still feel that way?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you’ve had time to process everything. Realize that we’re best friends—”

“That only makes me want you more. Blake, we’re a match—”

“Stop, please, Dash. I can’t. I just got out of the worst and only relationship I’ve ever known. Even if I was willing to risk our friendship, I have to figure out who I am before I can give myself to anyone else.”

His eyes filled with heat. “You were pretty close to letting me have all of you this morning.” He took a step closer, entwining his fingers in my hair.

My lips parted, betraying my brain’s plea to not want him. “I swear I’m not trying to lead you on.”

Dash shook his head. “I want more from you than that, Blake. I want every piece of you, because I know who you are, and I’ve never loved anyone as intensely as I do you. But I also understand you need time. Take it. Just know I’ll be here waiting.”

I shook my head, still unable to believe he could care for me like that. He was too good for me, and way more than I deserved.

Dash moved to go back inside but glanced back at me. “It might be hard to take time for yourself if we keep ending up in each other’s arms. Not that I’m complaining, but like I said that night, I want you to choose me when you’re completely free. And that means waiting until you’ve figured out who you are and what you want.” He smiled and turned into the room.

I stood outside, shell-shocked, and with an ache pulsing lower than I’d like to admit. My heart threatened to fly out of my chest and present itself to Dash, but I slapped the bitch down, reminding her it was still broken.

“BLAKE, GET TO
the truck, now!” Dash screamed, the roaring wind threatening to steal his voice.

“Not without you!” I yelled back, fighting with my hair. It whipped back and forth vigorously, slapping me in the face.

The tornado had touched down faster and closer than we’d calculated. John and Paul luckily hadn’t made it to the site when we did and were able to spot it farther away. They’d booked it in the opposite direction and had most likely stopped in a safer spot to catch the massive beast on film.

It wasn’t any bigger than the one yesterday, but the muddy brown swirling mass screeched with the sound of a train derailing, and it ripped up the trees beneath it like they were made of matchsticks. A huge branch crunched off the tree trunk, spinning in the tornado’s outer flanks and soared over our heads. It landed with a loud crash next to the truck, only missing it by inches.

Dash held his camera steady, the same fiery passion in his eyes as yesterday. He was completely mad. As much as I loved watching storms and experiencing them up close, I wasn’t prepared to die for it. And death felt much more real today, like I could reach out and touch it. One wrong move, one shift in course, and . . . lights out.