Effortless (35 page)

Biting my nails as I watched the clip again and again, I
wondered what it all meant. He seemed to be very comfortable with a
person that I didn’t know. A person that I was sure I’d never heard
him mention in all of his phone conversations. Just as I was
rewinding the moment where Kellan leans into her for about the
twentieth time, the laptop was snapped shut in my face.

Blinking, I looked up at Denny. Still standing behind me, he
crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re going to give yourself an
ulcer, worrying about something that you have no proof to support.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Trust me…I know.”

I flushed and started to look away but Denny quickly added, “And
besides, you promised me dinner, and I’m starving.” Peeking up at
him, I managed to smile a little. Seeing my mood lift, he shook his
head. “Do you think you could get me one of those world-famous
burgers that you guys have?”

Biting my lip, I glanced at the closed laptop. I wanted to watch
it again, but Denny was right, I had no proof that Kellan was doing
anything wrong. I couldn’t do anything but make myself angry as I
watched a brief moment that I was probably taking out of
context…hopefully. I’d have to wait and ask Kellan later, and I’d
have to ask him in a way that didn’t make it obvious that I wasn’t
flat-out asking him if he was sleeping with her. I’d have to bring
it up subtly…and subtleness wasn’t my strong point.

Letting the video go for now, I stood and placed my hand on his
shoulder. “Of course.” I sighed. “I’m sorry it took so long.

Denny glanced down at the computer on the table. “Not a problem,
Kiera…I understand,” he whispered.

I’d like to say that I let the video go after that moment. I’d
like to say it, but it wouldn’t be true. I snagged the laptop from
Rachel, telling her that I’d give it back tomorrow. Denny shook his
head at me as he ate his dinner, but he gave me a sympathetic smile
too, like he understood. He told me he’d call me tomorrow and see
how I was doing. I marveled that he was still my caretaker, even
after everything. Even after being physically separated from me for
a year. Giving him a swift hug, a hug that made a swirl of whispers
flash around the bar, I told him to tell Abby hi for me. The smile
on his face was the largest I’d seen all night and I noticed him
pulling his phone out of his pocket as he headed out to the parking
lot. I figured he was going to call her right then and there.

After my shift, I went home and watched every clip available on
the band’s website. While I enjoyed seeing Kellan in action again,
I also saw that woman two more times. From what I could make out by
the background, all three videos that had glimpses of her were shot
in three different locations, like she really was following them
around as they’d headed from town to town.

It burned my blood and I couldn’t sleep that night. I watched
the videos over and over, cell phone in hand, barely stopping
myself from calling and demanding an answer. My sister plodded into
my room near dawn, crashing into the bed with me. Like Denny, she
slammed shut the laptop, letting out an annoyed grunt.

I sighed, leaning back on the pillows, my hand tight around my
phone. “What are you doing up?” I muttered.

Removing the computer from my lap, she laid her head there and
glared up at me. “I could practically hear you fuming through the
walls. What’s going on?”

I shook my head. “Nothing.” It had to be nothing…he’d
promised.

Seeing my face, she sat up. “No it’s not…what happened?” She
glanced over to the computer, picking it up and opening it.
“Something in here?” she asked, her silky locks falling over her
shoulder.

I bit my lip and nodded, then shook my head. “Just a girl that
keeps popping up in some fan footage of the band.” I sighed as Anna
navigated to the page I’d been staring at all night. “I just…don’t
know what it means.”

When Anna looked up at me with furrowed brows, I sighed and
showed her which video to play. She silently watched the video,
then looked up at me and shook her head. “I don’t know, Kiera.”
Glancing at the cell in my hand, she shrugged. “Why don’t you just
call and ask?”

A wistful sound escaped me as I stared at my phone. “I wish I
could…but I don’t want to be
that
girl.” Sitting up, I
locked my arms around my legs. “Plus, what would I say? I saw you
touch a girl in a video…care to explain?”

Looking down I shook my head and remembered Denny’s words. “I
have no proof that he’s cheating, just a short glimpse
of…familiarity…with a girl that I don’t know. That‘s not enough to
start cornering him with questions.” I peeked back up at her and
smiled sadly. “I don’t want to be the jealous girl back home who
can’t handle the fame of her guy. That’s how couple’s like us break
apart.”

Sighing herself, she reached up to tuck some hair behind my ear.
“Yeah, I suppose.” Brightening, her face way too attractive for the
insane hour, she exclaimed, “I could ask Griffin? I’m sure he knows
who that girl is.” She frowned right after she said it, like if
Griffin knew her, then he knew her intimately.

Biting my lip, I shook my head.  “No, any answers need to
come from him. I can’t be the girl who uses his friends to spy on
him, either.” Closing my eyes, I pushed the computer away from the
both of us. “No…I need to let this go. I need to trust him.” I
opened my eyes and shrugged. “That’s the only way we’re going to
work, if we start trusting each other…and it’s probably nothing
anyway.”

She nodded, agreeing with me. “Yeah, I’m sure. He’s way too
crazy in love to do anything as stupid as cheat on you.”

I nodded, smiling softly. As Anna gave me a hug, a stray thought
entered my brain and I asked Anna about it on a whim. “Hey, what’s
Griffin’s cell number?”

Her eyes got wider as she stared at me, the perfectly emerald
shade more than a little surprised that I’d want to know that;
Griffin and I didn’t exactly talk. I generally avoided any
conversation with him. I just couldn’t get that weird text out of
my head, not with this new information exposed to me.

“I just…I need…Kellan got this…” I sighed. “What’s his
number?”

She rattled it off instantly and I sighed and closed my eyes.
The number that had been on Kellan’s phone was burned into my
brain…and the number Anna had just given me wasn’t it. The text
hadn’t been from Griffin. Kellan had lied.

When I finally passed out from exhaustion, I had a dream. Well,
nightmare really. In it, I kept running into women wearing matching
promise rings. Then I kept finding notes tucked all over his house
that were addressed to other girls. I think I even dreamt that he
proposed to the Halle Berry lookalike on National TV. My dream
version of Denny was there, giving me sympathetic, supportive
glances, like he knew my pain. It only made me feel worse. When I
startled awake, I felt like I hadn’t slept at all.

Irritated at myself, I knew I was overacting. One plus one
didn’t always equal two.

Forcing myself to shower and get ready for the day, I was
instantly grateful that my class was this afternoon; I’d have slept
right through it if I’d had a morning one. Leaving my hair damp and
dripping, I shuffled out to the living room, where I could hear
Anna watching cartoons while she slurped down a bowl of cereal.

Pushing all doubt out of my brain, I sat beside her, laying my
wet head on her shoulder. She glanced over at me in-between
spoonfuls, then nonchalantly said, “Do you remember when I came
home and you and Kellan were seriously making out on the
couch?”

I straightened, staring at her with wide eyes. “Yeah…” How could
I forget, I’d been mortified.

It had been back when we weren’t having sex yet, but we were
definitely pushing the envelope. He’d been shirtless, jeans
unbuttoned. I’d had a light tank top on but he’d scrunched it all
the way up my stomach. The memory of his lips on my belly assaulted
me as I rewound back to that night.

His hands on my hips, pulling at the fabric of my light shorts,
like he’d wanted to tear them off. My fingers tangling in his hair,
as I yanked his mouth back to mine. The moans I made as his lean
body pressed against every square inch of me. Our breaths fast as
we both considered how far to take the moment.  We’d been
going slow, together for more than two months, but we’d still held
back, wanting it to be perfect. And holding back with Kellan was
hard.

As was his body, as he rhythmically pressed his hips into mine.
I remembered momentarily losing control, and grabbing his hand. I’d
just needed him to touch me again. I’d led his fingers up my thigh,
wanting him to feel the swollen ache that I had for him, wanting
him to know that I needed him. It was the first time he’d touched
me down there since the affair.

Understanding my directive, his hand had quickly darted under my
clothing. When his thumb circled over my wet flesh, we’d both
sucked in quick breaths, groaning. I can still clearly remember him
dropping his head to my shoulder and huskily telling me that he’d
missed feeling this…that he’d missed me.

Knowing just the right amount of pressure to use, knowing just
the perfect pattern to follow, he’d had me on the brink of
releasing in just a few seconds. Wanting to please him, too, I’d
ducked my hand into his open jeans.

And, of course, that had been when my sister had unexpectedly
come home. It had been as close to being caught in the act that I’d
ever been. It was also the last time Kellan and I ever took things
that far in a public room.

Blushing horribly, I averted my eyes to the TV. Anna laughed
huskily, slurping another bite of sugary green circles. “God, that
was pretty hot. I did feel really bad for ruining your climax
though.” I glared at her and she laughed again. “Remember? I told
you I’d duck into my room for a few minutes if you wanted to
finish.”

As she laughed again, I blushed even more. When I’d finally
noticed that she was home, I’d scrambled to get Kellan disentangled
from me and redressed. He’d chuckled, not bothered in the
slightest, and had wanted to take Anna up on her outlandish offer.
I’d made him go for a walk with me. Anything to douse the fire in
my lower body.

Dropping my head into my hands, I shook it. “Why are you
bringing that up?” I glared at her again. “Just to humiliate
me?”

She twisted her lips, then tilted her head. “No.” Dropping her
spoon into her bowl, she leaned back on the ugly couch where the
intimate moment had happed. “Do you remember what Kellan said?”

I bunched my brows, trying to remember anything aside of
embarrassment. Seeing that I didn’t, Anna smiled. “He said, don’t
worry about it, Kiera. When we’re old and gray, you’ll look back at
this moment and laugh. We’ll tell our grandkids about it…and
completely gross them out.”

I looked down, finally remembering him saying that. Anna grabbed
my chin, making me look back at her. My eyes felt misty when I did.
“I brought it up to remind you that Kellan is thinking long term
with you. You’re not just a girl he’s seeing. You’re THE girl.
You’re it for him. I see it in his eyes when he looks at you.” She
sighed, wistfully. “He’s completely, madly, deeply in love with
you, and he wants a lifetime with you…so stop stressing.”

Exhaling slowly, I felt a weight lifting from me. She was right.
I was fearing the fear…everything was okay. Nodding at her, I
considered calling Kellan, just to tell him I loved him, when the
front door was knocked on.

Anna ruffled my hair and went back to her cartoons while I got
up to see who was here.

Opening the door and seeing Denny’s warm smile behind it
surprised me almost as much as bumping into him yesterday. It was
one thing to hang out for a little while last night, it was another
for him to just drop by. I guess he’d missed the friendship just as
much as I had.

“Hey, Kiera. I was going to call, but I thought I’d stop by
instead since I was in the area. You doing alright?” He tilted his
head as his dark eyes searched my face.

Feeling better after talking to Anna, I shook my head and
laughed a little. “Yeah, I’m fine. I overreacted last night.” I
flung my hand towards where the offending laptop lay in my bedroom;
I was definitely returning it today. “I flipped out over
nothing.”

He nodded and smiled and I put my hand on his arm. “Thank you,
for…being a friend. I can’t think of too many guys who would have
been as…supportive in the situation.”

He looked down at my hand on his arm then shrugged. “You and I
have been through a lot, Kiera, and most of it was good.” His eyes
flashed back up to mine. “I don’t want to see you in pain. I don’t
have a…vendetta against you.” In a whisper that I almost didn’t
hear, he added, “You’re my best friend, still, and I’d do anything
for you, Kiera.”

I swallowed, hating and loving the sentence he’d just said.
Knowing I shouldn’t, I reached up and gave him as friendly and
platonic a hug as I could. He held me back, equally platonic, with
a huge gap between our bodies. “You’re my best friend, too, Denny.
I know it may not seem like it sometimes…but you are.”

Just as I was thinking that maybe that had been our problem all
along, that we’d been more friends than lovers, an explicative
sounded from the couch.