Effortless (37 page)

Denny’s hand stretched across the table to rest on my arm. “I’m
sorry if that hurts you. I just wanted to be honest with you.” He
stressed the word honest.

As I considered all of the multiple things that I hadn’t been
honest about in my life, Denny tilted his head and asked, “What
about you and Kellan? Are you guys really okay?” His hand on my arm
squeezed it. “Are you happy, Kiera?”

Shaking my head, knowing I was worrying about things with Kellan
before their time, I smiled as effortlessly as I could. “Yeah, I
am.” I nodded, remembering all of the good times Kellan and I had
shared. “I mean, being with him has its challenges…but…we’re
good.”

I absently stroked the ring on my finger and Denny’s eyes locked
onto it. The dark depths glossier when he met my eye again, he
smiled effortlessly too. “Good, I’m glad, Kiera…I really am.”

A month later, nothing much had changed in my life, even with
Denny back around. I went to school, I went to work. I had coffee
with Cheyenne, while she tried to make poetry make some sort of
sense to me. I spoke to Kellan three or four times a day, more if
he was having a traveling day, for hours when he called me on
Valentine’s Day. Denny came around to the bar for dinner most
nights, and we spent the time catching up on our year apart.

I even agreed to take a more advanced art course with Jenny and
Kate on Saturday mornings…even though I was atrocious and the
instructor humored me with every comment he made. I made a note to
not repeat the six-week course with her. Her talent was just way
beyond my skills.

But as much as the good things stayed the same, the questionable
things stayed the same as well. I avoided computers, too tempted to
Google my boyfriend, too afraid of what I might find. And I
definitely didn’t want to see any more footage of him with Halle 2.
I just couldn’t handle seeing it again.

But I never asked about it when we talked. And I never told him
about Denny being back in Seattle. My mouth locked up when I tried.
Just the idea of Kellan cheating on me terrified me so much…I
didn’t want to give him that same fear. Not when it wasn’t
warranted. Denny and I were only friends, truly, just friends.

So the nagging doubt lingered between Kellan and me, and I let
it, not ready to confess what I knew, too scared to hear what he
knew…

Getting home from class on a windy Thursday afternoon, I
collapsed beside my sister on the sofa, grateful for a few hours
respite. I didn’t have to work tonight and I didn’t have class
again until Monday. Until work tomorrow night I could just be a
couch potato.

Anna sighed, irritably tapping her foot as she flicked through
channel after channel on the television. I tried to ignore her
restlessness. She’d been getting more and more agitated since the
holidays. I suspected she was more peeved that Griffin hadn’t asked
to see her than she let on. I suspected she missed him more than
she let on. Since they hadn’t had any romantic rendezvous, she
hadn’t been with him, well, since the night of the going away
party. And Anna, for some godforsaken reason, liked being with
him.

Tossing the remote on the floor, she laid her head back on the
orange monstrosity we were sitting on. “God, I’m so freaking
bored.”  Popping her head up, she excitedly leaned forward.
“Let’s go to Boise.”

I blinked at her. “What?”

Nodding, she leaned forward even more, her tight sweater showing
off a décolletage that I’d never have. “Let’s go to Boise. The guys
are playing a show there tonight and it’s the closest they’re going
to be to us until the end of the tour. So let’s go to their
concert!”

She gave me puppy dog eyes, sticking out her full bottom lip. I
shook my head. “Idaho? By tonight? It’s almost five now…we don’t
have time to drive that far, Anna.”

She sat up on her knees, really excited now. “So we’ll hop a
flight. It’s probably only an hour or so on a plane.”

I raised my eyebrow. “We can’t just ‘hop on a plane’ to see a
concert, Anna.”

She raised her eyebrow right back at me. “We can do anything we
want, Kiera. Come on, live a little.”

I sighed, but she was already pulling me up off the couch.
“You’re too focused, too structured. You need to let loose every
once and a while. Besides, don’t you want to see Kellan?”

Biting my lip, I stifled another sigh. I did want to see him,
more than anything, but…there were conversations that we needed to
have, conversations that I didn’t know if I was ready to have yet.
I did miss him though…and I hadn’t found any playful notes in a
while to help keep the loneliness at bay…

Maybe seeing me starting to get sold on the idea, Anna dragged
me to my room and started packing a bag for me. I cringed when she
found the lacey Christmas present that I’d gotten for Kellan and
cringed even more when she shoved it in my bag. Like I’d wear that
on a tour bus. Sitting on the bed while she zipped the bag closed,
I murmured, “I don’t want him to think I’m checking up on him.”

She paused. Anna knew I still had questions about the video.
“You could finally ask him about the girl?” I shook my head and she
twisted her lips, then shrugged. “Well, he’ll be too busy screwing
your brains out to care anyway.”

I scoffed and threw a pillow at her and she laughed. Then her
face got serious. “I want to see Griffin, Kiera. I think I…I think
I miss him.” She sneered as if the idea was odd to her. It was a
little odd to me too, but then, so was their entire
relationship.

Caving, I exaggerated an annoyed sigh. “Fine, when’s the
flight?”

Anna squealed and clapped her hands before running to her room.
“You won’t regret this, Kiera! We’re gonna have the best time!”

Hoping she was right, I grabbed my bag.

While the drive across Washington to the bottom of Idaho was
around eight hours, it turned out that a flight there was under an
hour. We made an early evening plane and were touching down in
Boise with time to spare. I’d hated handing over all of my
hard-earned tip money for the ticket, but when I stepped out of the
airport and smelled the air, air that I knew Kellan was breathing,
it seemed worth every penny.

Wanting to surprise the boys, we didn’t call them on the way
over. Really, we hadn’t called anybody. It was the most impulsive
thing I’d ever done, well, if you didn’t count having
spur-of-the-moment sex in an espresso stand impulsive. I tended to
think of different adjectives when I thought about that night.

But rushing out to see Kellan when he didn’t know I was coming
was exciting, and my heart was beating fast when we hailed a cab.
Calling Rachel to verify where the boys were playing, I instantly
felt bad that we hadn’t paused long enough to include Rachel and
Jenny in our plans. They probably wanted to see their boyfriends
too. But really, we’d barely made the flight in time with just the
two of us, not with how strict airport security was now. And the
interesting collection of “toys” that Anna had packed in her
carryon hadn’t helped either.

By the time we found the place and got settled, it was just
about time for the show to start. I had no idea how we were going
to get in, since a call to the venue had only resulted in us being
told that the show was sold out, and had been for a while. While I
was thrilled that the tour was going well, it sort of made
everything that much harder. I’d never needed a ticket to watch him
play before. I was used to just walking into work and having him
there, singing, just for me. Or so it seemed sometimes.

Hoping we could find some scalpers, we got out of the cab at
what looked like an old theater. It was massive though, and people
milled about outside, smoking or chatting on their phones. Light
boxes along the entrance displayed the tour’s posters, with our
favorite band’s name the last on the list of hot groups performing
tonight.

On the marquee though, the D-Bags were right under the main
attraction. It was as close to top billing as a small, relatively
unknown band could get. Shaking my head at the sign, my heart
swelled with pride for him. He was actually doing it. He was
actually becoming a rock star, right before my eyes. It blew my
mind.

Just as I headed towards a group of meandering people, feeling
like an idiot as I clutched my overnight bag, Anna grabbed my arm
and jerked me towards the alley. I squeaked in surprise, then
looked around the dark area she was leading us to. Not wanting to
be mugged, I pulled back on her arm.

“Where are we going?”

Tilting her head at me, her hair perfectly pulled into a loose
ponytail, she nodded at the alley that I was sure Jack-the-Ripper
was hiding in. “The back entrance is probably down there. We’re
going in.”

I gave her a dry look. “They’re not just going to let us in the
back, Anna. We’ll have to buy tickets just like everybody
else.”

Rolling her eyes at me, she adjusted the ridiculously tight
t-shirt she’d changed into before leaving the house. “Kiera, I’ve
never bought a concert ticket in my life, and I’m not about to
start now.” Smiling in that seductive way that she and Kellan had
down to a science, she smirked and headed towards the alley again.
Her bag elegantly slung over her shoulder, looked more like an
overlarge purse than the duffel bag that mine resembled.

Hoping we survived this, I exhaled a quick breath and hurried to
catch up to her. If we were going to die, I wanted us to die
together.

Confidently strutting down the dark street, Anna looked
completely fine with the situation. Wishing I had her guts, I tried
to at least act like I did. Like she expected, we ran into a door
being blocked by what could have been Sam’s long lost brother. All
muscle and rough demeanor, he narrowed his eyes at us as we
approached.

“Keep walking,” he muttered as we got close enough to hear.

Anna tilted her head, running a finger along the deep v-neck of
her shirt. “But we want to talk to you.”

He frowned at her, then at me. “I just got rid of the last batch
of you. Don’t you girls have anything better to do than try and
screw rock stars.”

I bristled at his words, both because that wasn’t what we were
doing, not really, and because there was a steady group of girls
out there that tried to do exactly what he was saying. Sticking my
chin up, I defiantly said, “We just want to see our boyfriends, and
they happen to be in one of the bands. If you could let us by, we’d
really appreciate it.”

He smirked at me. “Wow, I’ve never heard
that
one
before.” Rolling his eyes, he added, “When are you girls gonna
learn that the
actual
girlfriends get passes to the show.
They don’t come back here to see me.” With a smirk he added, “Not
that the actual girlfriends are around much…if you know what I
mean.”

He eyed me and my sister up and down, clearly undressing us, and
my eyes narrowed at what he was implying—whores trumped
girlfriends, by a long shot. Trying to ignore the heat in my
stomach, I shook my head. “Our
boyfriends
don’t know we’re
here…it’s a surprise.”

He smiled with one edge of his lip, his bulging biceps not
moving from in front of his chest. “Yes, and when they see you out
here after the show, it will certainly be a surprise.”

My mouth dropped open in frustration but Anna shot me a look to
keep me quiet. Sidling up to the man, she ran a finger along his
arm. Licking her lip as slowly and seductively as she could, she
throatily murmured, “There must be some way to get past this…” she
squeezed his arm, then let her hand travel down his side,
“…impressive body in our way.”

Smirking at Anna, his eyes traveled to her chest and stayed
there. She subtly straightened her shoulders, giving him the best
view she could. One of his hands uncrossing, he brazenly reached
out and cupped one of her breasts. I wanted to smack his smug face
but Anna held a warning finger behind her back, telling me not
to.

As Anna wasn’t wearing a bra, the man got a nice little nipple
rub. It disgusted me, but Anna only smiled at him like he was
complimenting her on her hair. Smiling that she wasn’t moving, he
dropped his hand and motioned to her shirt. “Show me, and I’ll let
you in.”

I sputtered and mumbled a protest but Anna only shrugged and
lifted her shirt to him. When she finally lowered the fabric back
down into place, I could tell the bouncer was…pleased. If the dazed
smile on his face wasn’t a big enough clue, the bulge in his jeans
was unmistakable.

I twisted my lips and looked away. “Dog,” I muttered. I was
pretty sure Sam never would have pulled crap like that.

Focusing on my sister, I watched her brush her fingers over the
man’s cheek. “Satisfied,” she purred, biting her lip, and glancing
down at the evidence of his arousal.

“Definitely,” he growled. “Whatever guy you land in there is one
lucky bastard.”

Anna smirked and smiled as he moved aside from the door. Rolling
my eyes, I started to follow her, but the jerk blocked my path.
“Nope, sorry, sweetheart.” Leering at my chest, he shook his head.
“You haven’t paid the price of admission.”

Dropping my bag, I immediately crossed my arms over my chest,
covering my already covered body. “I am
not
flashing
you!”

He shrugged, unperturbed. “Then you’re not getting back
there.”

My mouth dropped open and I smacked him across the chest. He
narrowed his eyes at me and I stopped instantly, remembering that
this was not a bouncer at Pete’s that I was messing with. Lifting
my chin, I spat out, “You’re a pig.”

Smirking, he winked at me. “Yeah, and you’re still not getting
back there until I see some tatas.”

An exasperated noise fell out of my mouth as I looked up at
Anna, waiting with one palm on the door. She shrugged and made a
stripping motion with her hand. I cringed back, not wanting to do
this…but wanting to see Kellan.

My cheeks flaming so hot they hurt, I shook my head indignantly.
“Go get Kellan Kyle! He’s the lead singer of the D-Bags. He’ll
vouch for me, that I’m his girlfriend…and then you’ll have to let
me in!”