Ella's Wish (23 page)

After the table was cleared, Dora said, “We really have to go. Mamm won’t let us come again if we stay past our time.”

“Go, go,” Ella said, shooing them out the door. She walked to the living room window and watched the buggy disappear over the knoll.

Twenty-nine

A
t the last minute, Ella thought long and hard about whether to attend Joe and Ronda’s wedding.
I have an invitation, and the event would be a welcome diversion. There would, of course, be the pain associated with a wedding, but then there is also the wonder of the moment when two people become united as one. Those few seconds in time when the couple’s lives are changed forever is so wonderful
.

Few things in life are quite like the promise someone gives to another to honor, to love, and to hold alone in the heart until death separates them. Few things are held in higher esteem or are more sacred than the words spoken at a wedding. Heaven or earth or the will of man or woman are never to break them. Only the vows said on one’s knees at baptism held greater weight. The wedding is today. If I am to go, the time to decide is now
.

Finally Ella simply said out loud, “I will go.”

Mary looked up from her play.

“Go where?”

“To Ronda’s wedding. Do you want to go?”

“Yah,” Mary said, easily excited.

“Come then. We have to get ready.”

Mary got up and grabbed Sarah’s hand. She ran, partly dragging her sister toward the bedroom and laughing as she went. Baby Barbara giggled from her blanket on the floor, waving her arms and feet around.

Ella took their Sunday dresses out of the closet. Her eyes softened at the sight of their cheerful faces, and she decided once again that she would never abandon Preacher Stutzman’s girls, even with Eli and his troubles with the
Englisha
girl. Both subjects would have to be brought up with the bishop on Saturday. She would tell him everything. That was just the way things had to be.

She pulled the girls’ dresses up over their heads and slipped their Sunday ones on. They giggled as she fastened the buttons in place.
What kind of woman will Preacher Stutzman choose as his wife? Will she be like his Sunday preaching—strong and fierce—or will she fit the rest of his life—timid and tender? Will the new mother have children of her own? Will they take up all her time and care, so that she neglects the girls?

What troubling thoughts and really none of my business. Surely once the vows are spoken between Ivan and his future wife, all things will fall into their proper place, and the three girls will be loved
.

Ella quickly dressed herself and gathered up the three girls. Mary and Sarah ran beside her to the buggy as their little black shawls flapped in the slight morning breeze. Ella carried the baby and the satchel in her arms.

Ella left all three in the buggy while she harnessed the horse. He came willingly out of the stall, neighing and rubbing his nose against her arm. She threw the harness on, fastened the straps, and led him outside. Mary acted like she was driving down the road and repeated, “Horsey, getup!” while Ella hitched the horse to the buggy. Mary used her father’s Sunday preaching voice, catching Ella by surprise. It sounded so strange, yet cute, coming from such a little body. The resemblance was unmistakable.

“You’d better stop calling out to the horse like that,” Ella said, holding the reins and making ready to climb in the buggy. “He could take off before we’re ready.”

“Oh,” Mary said, falling silent.

Ella pulled herself up, placed one arm around both Mary and Sarah, and slapped the reins with the other.

Both girls laughed in delight as the buggy rattled out the driveway. It was really
gut
to hear their joy and feel the brisk morning air on her face. It made one’s spirits soar. It had definitely been the right decision to attend the wedding, even if just to behold the girls’ enjoyment of the ride.

As they passed the river, the mist still hung along the water’s edge. A cardinal sang with such vigor that Ella could clearly hear it above the clip of the horse’s hooves on the blacktop. Only the gurgle of the water at the bridge threatened to drown the sound out, but the two sounds seemed to blend together, almost becoming one. A smile filled Ella’s face. It had been a long time since she had heard such lovely music.

“I forgot where we’re going,” Mary said with a voice sounding like a musical wind chime.

“To Ronda’s wedding,” Ella said, hoping her mixed emotions didn’t come through. She certainly couldn’t explain to a child how her joy was mingling with the regret of going to a wedding without Aden. She didn’t even understand herself how she could be feeling such joy.

“When will we see Daett again?” Mary asked.

Her mind spun. It hadn’t occurred to her that perhaps Preacher Stutzman would be there today.
How will this look if he is? I will be there with his three daughters, and he will be sitting on the preacher’s bench. Will everyone know that I have been hired for their care? Sunday care had not been in the bargain
.

“He’s comin’ for you on Friday night,” she said, hoping that would suffice.

“When is that?” Mary asked.

“Soon,” she said, “in just a few more days.”

“Is he at church today?”

“I don’t know,” Ella said.
Hopefully Preacher Stutzman isn’t going to be there. It would make the day so much better if his district hasn’t been invited. Surely they haven’t been! They can’t invite that many people
.

Ella drove out of the river bottom, and gazed at the vista of the countryside before her. In the early morning light, the roll of the land to the south stretched out before her. The beauty of this part of the state never ceased to stir her. In the east and toward the lake, one could see the low mountains, but today they were obscured by the low morning clouds. They were dark, and their movements rapid. That was not surprising. These sudden summer showers weren’t unusual, but this was Ronda’s wedding day. No doubt Ronda was in a tizzy right now. Rain on a wedding day didn’t reflect well on the bride. Of course that was all nonsense, but it still would be a disappointment.

When it came, it came quickly. The lash of the sudden rain brought with it a wind strong enough to stir the tree branches. Ella quickly shut the side doors and pulled the waterproof buggy blanket out from under the seat. Mary laughed out loud. Sarah didn’t look too sure of herself but finally joined in. With the blanket firmly wrapped around their waists, the girl’s laughter pealed out into the rainstorm. Baby Barbara just blinked her eyes in the wet wind.

The horse shook its head but gamely plowed on. He really was a
gut
horse. A horse that didn’t slow down in the rain was a horse to be thankful for. She remembered a driving horse from her youth that, despite her dad’s urgings, had always stopped beside the road and refused to continue until the hard shower ceased.

It had rained at Aden’s funeral. On that day too, the mountains had given their quick offering. Only then, it had been like a sign of God’s concern as the heavens let loose her tears. Today was a wedding day, and again the heavens were weeping.
Were the old women correct? Is this really a bad sign?
Ella shook her head.
This is just foolishness. Ronda will be the perfect bride, and Joe will be the perfect husband. Soon the sun will break through the clouds
.

Ahead of her, she caught the first sight of the farm where the wedding would be held. Buggies were already parked all over the grounds. Ella slapped the lines. No doubt she was late. Thankfully the men were still in a long line out by the barn, so there was yet time.

As she came closer to the farm, her mind reeled in shock.
This farm is the place in my dreams. This is the farm where the bishop and I get married
. Ella clutched the lines in sweating palms.
What does this mean? Surely the dreams are only a ridiculous figment of my wild imagination. Now that I see that Ronda’s wedding is here, it shows the foolishness of the dream, a monstrosity born of my own fears and ungrounded in reality
.

Ella pulled hard on the reins and turned right into the driveway. The horse shook his head as if he objected. In front of the barn, she pulled to a stop. Two boys, wearing their black hats low on their heads, separated themselves from the line of men. Ella couldn’t see who they were and held her breath. Hopefully they were boys she knew and wouldn’t ask too many questions.

“Good morning,” they said together, stopping on each side of the buggy.

“Good morning,” she said, climbing down. One of the boys was her cousin from the district. He would know why she had Preacher Stutzman’s girls with her.

“Thanks,” she said, reaching back inside the buggy for Sarah’s hand.

“Stutzman’s girls behavin’?” her cousin asked.

“They’re angels,” she said, setting Sarah on the ground.

“Preacher Stutzman?” the other boy said, raising his eyebrows.

“Yah,” she said.
Why should I explain further? He can ask my cousin
.

She walked slowly up the sidewalk with both her hands full and hoped again Preacher Stutzman wouldn’t be there.

Thirty

T
he song leader announced the first song, and Ella drew in a deep breath. She had just glanced quickly around the room and noticed that Preacher Stutzman wasn’t seated on the preacher’s bench. He had every right to be here—if he had been invited—but his absence did make things so much easier.

The ministers got to their feet and were led by the young Bishop Wayne Miller upstairs for the young couple’s prenuptial counseling. That the bishop was here was no surprise. He might even marry Joe and Ronda. At least he knew she took care of the Stutzman girls.

Ella watched as Joe and then Ronda got up to follow the preachers.
What is it like to get up in front of all these people and know that they are all turning to look at you
? Ronda’s face was almost white as she took the steps one by one. Joe, his figure sharp in his new black suit, looked more relaxed.

With a full breath, the song leader led out on the second line, his voice rich and rising and whirling in a triumphant sound. Ella gave herself to the moment and joined in the joyous sound as the congregation added their voices. A wedding day was surely one of the highest experiences her people participated in. Even the songs on days like this were special. Most of them were sung only for the occasion and were so filled with joyous emotion.

The whole room rose and fell with sound as even the very walls seemed to join in the emotion. It was good that she had decided to come. The last line was sung twenty minutes later, and then another song number was given out.

Joe’s shoes appeared before the song started. He stepped quickly and quietly down the stairs and was followed by Ronda’s much quieter footsteps. Both of their faces were sober.
What counsel have they been given? Were they warned about calamity and of the duty of faithfulness to each other through the trials of life? Perhaps they were told of children to come—loved then lost—or of parents who would need support in their old age
.

At least they have each other
. Ella squirmed on the bench. She had lost Aden without a wedding, yet what God did should not be questioned. She swallowed hard against her tight throat. There was a reason for everything, even if it couldn’t be seen with human eyes.

Joe and Ronda settled quickly back into their seats as the song leader cleared his throat. Ella waited, but no sound came. The bishop’s black shoes appeared on the first step above them.

The whole house perked up as the ministers came downstairs and found their seats. Feet scraped on the floor, and a preacher Ella didn’t recognize got up slowly. He looked around the room and then began to speak.

“Our dearly beloved brothers and sisters, we are gathered here today for a special occasion—to give a brother and sister in holy marriage, as has been instituted by
Da Hah
Himself. In the garden He made man and soon saw that it was not good for man to be alone. The same still holds true for us today. It is not good that a man dwell alone, without a wife, without children, without a real home.

“Our brother and sister have found each other in the
Villa Gottes
, and we are here to honor and recognize their desires. They are a
gut
example for all of us to follow.”

Ella held baby Barbara as the service continued. She squirmed and looked as if she were ready to cry but then quieted down.

“I hope,” a second preacher said, “that you, as a young couple, will draw valuable lessons from the example of Jesus. Whatever the circumstances you experience in your married life, even in the seemingly impossible ones, there are simple deeds you can do for each other and turn them into acts of love. Miracles can be made out of the most common things. Jesus did this when He turned the water into wine. In the same way, you can meet the needs of each other.”

Ella snuck a quick glance at Ronda and Joe. They were intently watching the preacher.
What is it like to receive such
gut
advice on a wedding day? What must it be like to be getting married?
Ella let her eyes find the preacher’s bench. The young bishop was listening intently.
What is he thinking? Is he imagining himself seated on the chair up front with me sitting across from him? Why am I so afraid? He is a
gut
man
.

The second preacher finished and sat down, motioning with his hands toward the home bishop. He got to his feet slowly, coming to stand in front of Joe and Ronda.

Ella felt the tears sting again. They were about to be married.

“If it is still the desire of the brother and sister to be joined in holy marriage, will they please stand to their feet?”

Joe got up first, and then Ronda stood next to him. Ella was sure she saw Ronda’s dress tremble.