Ella's Wish (26 page)

Ella dared to look at him only to find he was turned toward the wagon, readying himself to move the furniture.

Joe lifted a table from the top of the wagon and lowered it to the two women and Jesse on the ground. Then Joe jumped down to help carry it into the house. At the front door, Jesse went first, holding the table sideways, while Joe maneuvered the legs through.

“Don’t scratch the door,” Jesse said.

“I’m more concerned about the table,” Ella said, trying to help.

“You just hold the door open all the way, and we’ll get through.”

Ella held the door and her breath as they slowly went inside.

“That was awesome,” Ronda said, once they were inside. “You two sure know how to move furniture.”

“She’s just tryin’ to butter you up,” Jesse said, laughing. “Just be warned, now, son.”

Joe grinned and glanced at Ronda.

It almost looked like the man grew a few inches taller. Something about the way Joe and Ronda looked at each other brought a brief pang to Ella’s heart. But it quickly passed—more quickly than it would have only a month ago, she realized.

Jesse paused at the front door and then came back to give Ronda a hug. “I have to go now. Both of you take care,” he said, giving Joe a stern look. “Take care of that wife of yours—real
gut
care.”

“I will,” Joe said. His voice was rich with emotion as he added, “She’s well worth it.”

Jesse rattled out of the driveway, hollering at the horses to hurry. Ronda made Ella sit on the couch while she raced around getting supper ready. “You and the girls will eat with us,” she said, “especially since Preacher Stutzman hasn’t come yet.”

“We can eat our supper just as well in the basement. I can prepare something. After all, it’s your first night in your new house.”

“No, we won’t hear of it,” Ronda said. “Now stay on the couch.”

“I guess it would be nice,” Ella said, leaning back on the couch and accepting the unexpected rest.

“It’ll be a casserole Mamm sent along,” Ronda said, “but it’s a really
gut
casserole. And she sent along fresh bread and jam.”

Ella got up from the couch and said, “You can, at least, let me set the table.”

Ronda waved her arm in the direction of the cupboards. “Help yourself, and then we can eat.”

“Come, girls,” Ella said once the table was set. Mary and Sarah climbed up onto the bench, and Ella held baby Barbara. Joe led out in prayer with a voice that was deep and steady. What a joy it was to have a male voice in the house who could lead in an audible address to the Almighty. Somehow it made the house truly a home.

After prayer, they ate their meal and listened to the girls chatter lightly. Ronda and Ella washed dishes while Joe sat in the living room. Neither Mary nor Sarah asked to help. When they were finished, Preacher Stutzman still hadn’t come.

“I guess I’ll take them downstairs,” Ella said.

“What a man,” Ronda whispered, and they exchanged looks.

How such a man could have three darling girls, really is a wonder
. She took Sarah’s hand, held the baby in the other arm, and encouraged Mary to hold the handrail again. Together all three moved down the basement steps.

“Be careful,” she said in Mary’s direction.

“I can do it,” Mary said, protesting. She jumped off the last step and landed with perfect timing. Her face was a picture of delight.

Thirty-three

P
reacher Stutzman drove his buggy hurriedly toward Chapman Road. He was late, but he could rationalize it by the fact that the chores had gone long. One cow was down with mastitis, and another had a lesion on her foot. The walk down to the phone booth was necessary, as well as the call placed to the veterinarian. Since he couldn’t come out till the morning, Preacher Stutzman wrapped the cow’s leg with salve. The mastitis would have to wait until the morning. He simply dumped her milk into the gutter.

He slapped the reins, hurrying the horse on.
Perhaps I should have left earlier. Might Ella feel taken advantage of? What if she already has the girls in bed, gave up on me, and figured I hadn’t meant what I said? Lois never questioned me. She trusted me completely, whether I was late or on time. Ella might be different, though. Why do her feelings on the subject even bother me? Why should I care what she thinks?
Ivan shifted on the buggy seat and slapped the reins again.

He had his reasons for why he was late, and that was just that, whether Ella understood them or not. With a pull of the line, he turned on to Chapman Road. The dim light from Ella’s living room window was just ahead. Framed around the glow of the lantern was the outline of the house. A shadowy fog crept over the soft rays from the window. The horse seemed to turn into the driveway on its own, which was disturbing.
How does the animal remember the driveway from the few visits I’ve made?

With the horse tied at the hitching post, Ivan knocked on the front door and was met with silence. He repeated the motion, louder this time.
Surely Ella wouldn’t ignore me on purpose
. Quick steps sounded from behind the closed door.
So she is ignoring me
. He got ready for Ella to open the door and noticed that his palms were sweaty. The confident words of excuse were all gone, long before the knob turned.

“Good evening,” he said before the door was halfway open.

“Yah,” a young woman said.

“The girls,” he said, “I have come for them.”
If only my voice wasn’t so weak
, he thought as he kept his eyes directed at the doorknob.

“They are in the basement,” the woman said in a sharp and strange voice.

Is Ella irate with me, and why are the girls in the basement by themselves?
“In the basement?” he asked, lifting his eyes to the face of the one who had been speaking and saw that she was not Ella.
Who, then? Does she have visitors who answer her door?

“Joe and I moved in this week,” the woman said, “and Ella gave us the first floor. She took the basement.”

“Moved in?” Ivan exclaimed. He was confused and didn’t move from his spot in front of the open door.

“Perhaps she didn’t tell you,” the woman said.

Now she sounds amused!
Ivan struggled to find his voice. “No, she didn’t tell me, but I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“She’s down there,” the woman said, opening the door wider and pointing down the basement steps.

“Yah,” he said, but she had already shut the door on him. Her steps faded away inside like hollow echoes, which finally were no more.

With a deep breath, Ivan took the steps one at a time. A dim light came from the basement window and shined onto the concrete walk. He approached the door and carefully knocked on it. Inside he heard no footsteps, but the door opened at once.

“Good evening,” he said through his tense throat.

“Come in,” Ella said. “The girls are ready.”

He nodded, stepped inside, and caught sight of Mary, who squealed with delight and ran toward him. Sarah wasn’t far behind. For the moment, he forgot all else, dropped his hat on the floor, caught them in his arms, and held them both tightly. Mary wiggled and protested first, and so he let her down. Sarah laid her head on his shoulder and clung to him.

“I heard you knock upstairs,” Ella said, “but I didn’t get out before Ronda answered. I guess you didn’t know they had moved in.”

“No, I didn’t know,” he said, “but that’s okay. It looks like you have plenty of room down here.” He looked around and took in the layout of the basement.
It looks nice. Ella can obviously make even a basement look good. Lois could have also
, but he pushed that thought away.
This ability might be a trait all Amish women have, for all I know
.

His nervousness threatened to return. Behind him, his hat lay on the floor, and he bent over to pick it up.

“Well,” Ella said, “here’s the girls’ bag. I packed it earlier. I didn’t know when you would come.”

“I didn’t either,” he said, offering nothing more.
Why should I explain to her?

“Ella showed me how to eat,” Sarah said in his ear, distracting him.

“She’s a nice mamm,” Mary said, tugging on his arm. “Can she go home with us?”

Ivan looked down at the floor.
What in the world am I supposed to say?
Ella’s laugh went all the way through him.

“I’m glad they liked being here,” she said.

Thankfully she didn’t try to embarrass him, but his throat was dry. This might be the bishop’s wife-to-be, but she did take care of his girls. He smiled, nodded his head, and took a deep breath. “Did you have any problems this week?”

“With the girls?” Ella asked. “No, they are really sweet. I had no problems at all.”

“You need anything from the house? Maybe I can pay you each week?”

Ella shook her head. “I’m okay, and the end of the month is fine. The girls are like little angels.”

“You plan to continue, then?” he asked, feeling the words stick in his throat and hating himself for it.
Somehow I’ll have to bring my emotions under control
.

“Oh,” she said, “of course. If you want to…up until you have the wedding.”

He felt his face flush red.

“Not that it’s any of my business,” she continued, “but the bishop said you had plans, and I have no problem with their care until that time. In fact, I would like it very much.”

Ivan stroked his beard with trembling fingers.
How in the world does the bishop know?

As if she understood his unspoken question, Ella said, “I suppose he heard it from Susanna—and they do need a mamm.”

“We have one now,” Mary said, pointing all of her fingers in Ella’s direction. The comment went ignored by both Ella and Ivan.

“Ach, you know how people talk,” he said. “Susanna doesn’t always know everything.”

“No, but I’m sure she’s right in that the girls do need a mamm,” she said. “A good one, but you know that, of course.”

“I do,” he said.
Perhaps she means nothing by this. Lois would have said the same words with that same look in her eyes. Women might be all the same around children they care about
.

“I don’t mean to interfere,” she said. “I really don’t. It is just that, of course, you want the best for the girls.”

He brushed his hand over Mary’s head. “Would it be okay if I sat for a moment?”

“Of course. I should have known you’d be tired.”

He touched Mary on the shoulder. “Why don’t you girls go play for a little bit. It won’t be too long, and then we can go.”

“We like to play here,” Mary said, smiling and moving away.

He took the nearest chair, lowering his body gently down.

“I don’t mean to take your time,” he said, “but perhaps I’d best explain myself.”

“You don’t have to,” she said. “You really don’t. My concern for the girls was perhaps out of order. I’m sorry.”

“No, your concern is very much in order,” he said. “It really is. See—” He choked a bit and cleared his throat. “I loved Lois. I never thought
Da Hah
would take her from me. Not even once did I consider it. I guess I took Lois for granted. I didn’t really know how much I loved her until we were on the way to the clinic. I knew then that I would never arrive in time and that she would die, but still I drove like a madman—because that’s all I could do.”

What does she think of my weakness? It doesn’t matter. The words must be spoken. They must
. “I think, perhaps, I have sinned before
Da Hah
with my love for Lois.
Da Hah
is a jealous God, great in might and power. He will take no place but the first. In this we cannot be too careful. So for now another wife seems not be
Da Hah’s villa
for me. I tell you this so you will know what to expect with the girls’ care…that it may be a longer time than we think.”

He glanced at her, but she had her eyelids lowered, staring at the tabletop.

“Before you had consented to take care of them, I didn’t know what to do. You don’t know how much you have answered the cry of my heart. I dared not even hope for someone to give them care. Now you do not only that, but you love them.
Da Hah
is truly a great and a merciful God—that is if we humble ourselves and walk in His will.”

Did I say too much, and yet the relief is so real. This woman unarms me and opens my heart. Perhaps I had best go now before I say something I shouldn’t
.

“Yah, I understand,” she said, watching him get to his feet.

Her comment caught him off guard.
Lois would have said exactly that
.

Ella continued, “I loved too. As much as you loved Lois, I loved Aden, and
Da Hah
has also taken him.”

“Yah,” he said, turning back to his girls.
I must go now
.

“I will take care of your girls until you wish otherwise,” she said in a calm and certain voice, as if the matter were completely settled and would never be raised again.

“Come,” he said, bending over to pick up the baby and then the bag. With Mary and Sarah beside him, he walked to the front door. But he couldn’t leave like this.
I have to say something, and yet can I stand to meet her eyes?

“Here,” she said, lifting Sarah into her arms. “I’ll come with you out to the buggy. It’s dark outside already, and Sarah’s tired.”

“I am,” Sarah said, nestling her head on Ella’s shoulder.

Carefully he found his way up the steps. Mary walked beside him all the way out to the buggy. He laid the baby on the seat, lifted Mary up to her seat, and turned to take Sarah from Ella’s arms.

“She’s almost asleep,” Ella whispered in the darkness.

“Thank you…for everything,” he said. Surely the buggy lights didn’t show the feelings on his face.

“You’re welcome,” she said, holding his horse while he climbed in and then letting go when he was ready.

It was all unnecessary, but so were a lot of things about Ella. She had more graces than a morning sunrise or
Da Hah’s
most beautiful mountaintops.