Emily Calls It (The Emily Series) (19 page)

“Oh, thanks,” I dismissed any thoughts that he had more on his mind. He shut the door behind him, and I seriously thought about going back to bed. I walked over to my answering machine and pressed the play button.

“Emily, its Colin.”
Oh, Colin.
I wouldn’t see him for a couple of days, but eventually I’d face all the concerned looks from those at work who knew about my grandfather, Colin included. His message went on in a gentle voice. I couldn’t help but feel a little warm listening to it. Next was a message from Allison. She wanted to meet for coffee in the morning before school. That would be perfect. I could really use a friend. With my revelation about Graham and the impending study session with Nicole, I could use all the advice she could dole out. The final message was from Trish. She was moving into her new apartment and really wanted me to see it. And she wanted me to come tonight. Actually, I looked over at the clock: right now. Yikes. I called her back but there was no answer. She left the address in the message, and frankly I had no reason to stand her up so I scribbled it down, pulled my hair into a ponytail and grabbed my car keys. I knew there were probably still creases and sheet marks across my cheek, but I didn’t care. To the beach apartment I went.

It was about a fifteen-minute drive. I left my windows down and felt moist cool air move across my face and body. It was crisp, and I felt the slightest chill creeping into the fall air. I remembered how quickly the weather changed last year. Warm with no signs of change, then one day the rain started. Not terribly cold or frequent, but it started nonetheless. I turned the last corner and felt it. Just a couple of drops but enough to qualify for a southern
California
shower. It tickled as the drips landed on my arms. I didn’t roll up the windows
until I was parked behind Trish’s car.

The front door of the apartment was wide open and I heard the crinkling of papers and sliding of something; boxes, I presumed.

“Trish?” I called.

She poked her head out of the kitchen. “Emily, hey, come on in.”

“This place is amazing,” I said looking back out the door and across the street to the beach. There was a busy road
between this row of houses,
cottages
and the beach
, but the beach was well within reach. Anyway, who cares? I’d look both ways when I visited.

Even in the sprinkling rain people walked, skated and rode bikes on the sidewalk. Beyond, a group of girls played volleyball and hot, shirtless guys looked on. She had herself quite the pad
.

“How in the world did you land this place?” I asked.

“I was just lucky, I guess,” she said. “I answered the advertisement and imagine I was the first.” She shrugged. “And it’s
almost
affordable.” She whispered cupping one side of her mouth with her hand like it was a secret.

“Well, give me the tour.” I joined her in the kitchen.

“This is the kitchen,” she said opening her hands as if she was modeling in front of a new car. It wasn’t a big kitchen, probably the same size as mine, but much cuter. The cabinets had a whitewash finish and the floor was hardwood, probably maple. The old-fashioned beachy character was apparent, and I had only seen the kitchen.

She led me to a fairly large living room. Again, the floor was hardwood, but what impressed me most were the tall ceiling and huge pair of windows looking out over a garden. Not the kind for vegetables, but instead sprays of pink, red and yellow flowers topping vibrant green bushes. It was beautiful.

From there, Trish led me down a short hall that ended with two bedrooms across the hall from each other. One not much bigger than the other, with a spacious bathroom in between. And whoa, the bathroom alone caught my immediate attention. The vanity was whitewashed like the kitchen cabinets, but with a marble top, and double sinks. The mirror above was big, flat, and simple, with three huge lights on each side like you
’d
see in a
Hollywood
dressing room. There was a separate shower and tub which I felt pulling me like a moth to the flame. I couldn’t get over it. I loved it. Trish leaned in the doorway watching me.

“You like it don’t you?” she asked in a singsong voice.

“Yeah, it’s
dreamy
.” I said back.

“So what do you think of your room?” she asked.

At first I didn’t hear her right. I looked at both rooms and nodded. “They’re nice. Spacious actually.” She smiled at me. A huge smile. Then her words caught up to the finish line in my head and they registered.

“My room?”

“Yeah, I thought maybe you’d be up for a change. I can’t
really
afford this place on my own.” She turned toward me and held both my hands in hers. “And we’d have so much fun.”

I thought about it for a second. I looked over everything again: from the bedrooms to that unbelievable bathroom. I
was
up for a change; really needed one, actually. And besides that, wow, a place right on the beach. How could I ask for more? I really didn’t need to think about it. My lease expired a couple of months before, and I’d been on a month-to-month basis since. I could bail at any time. I turned and leaned on the wall.

“OK
, I’m in.” I shrugged

“Really?” Trish’s voice sounded like a little girl’s.

“Really!” I showed her same enthusiasm and reached for her hands.

“So.” She led me by one hand back into the living room. “What should we do with the place? I mean, I’m sure you want to paint or something.”

I looked around at the crisp white walls and tried to picture other colors but I couldn’t. Even when I closed my eyes I didn’t see it any differently. “You know what? I think it’s perfect just the way it is.”

Trish looked around as I had. “Totally.”

I don’t think either one of us wanted to suck the excitement out of the moment, but I saw her face change and knew it was coming. “Where have you been, anyway?”

My shoulders slumped. “I had to go out of town. My grandfather.” It was starting to get easier to say, but still I didn’t like talking about it. “He passed away.” I looked down at my feet.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” She hugged me. “Are you going to be OK?”

“Yeah. And thank you. This really helps,” I said. “How can I be sad knowing I’m moving here?” I forced a smile. But really, the idea of this place lit up my dim psyche. Trish just smiled at me. A concerned sort of smile, but a smile. She didn’t ask me about my “men” situation, which must have been hard for her. And I appreciated it since it was the last thing I wanted to discuss. I concentrated on the joy of the moment. I was moving to the beach!

TWENTY-THREE

Study Partners Gone Bad

The next morning I met Allison bright and early for coffee. We dove right into catching up.

“So, have you seen Graham or Colin?” Allison teased right away.

I sighed. “I haven’t seen Colin, but Graham gave me a ride home yesterday. We didn’t really talk. I don’t know what I’m doing about that whole situation.”

“That ‘situation’?”
She wanted
me to go on.

“Yeah. I did some soul searching over the weekend. My grandma and I had a … a really good talk.”

“I’m glad Emily. You know we just want you to be happy. And Graham, I’m just not sure…” She stopped.

“Go on,” I said. “What is it that
we
have to say?” I asked
,
including Ethan.

“I’ve never hid
den
my feelings about him, have I?” she asked. I shrugged.

“Well, we…feel like he’s not good enough for you. You deserve better.” She pushed herself back from the table a little bit. “We don’t have to keep going over this. I don’t want to cause you any more sadness.”

I reached, putting my hand on the table between us. “Thanks. I know I’ve been, I don’t know, schizoid, but I’m making some changes.”

“Yeah?” she asked.

“Yeah. And I’m not only talking about guys.”

“Really? What’s up?” she asked.

“I can’t believe it, but I’m moving,” I said.

“What? But you love your place!”

“It’s been fine. But you have to see Trish’s new place. Well, our new place.” I corrected myself.

“You’re moving in with Trish?” She asked and her voice sounded relieved. I wondered why.

“Yes. I know, right? She rented this awesome cottage right on the beach. It’s a little two-bedroom, just perfect. I can’t wait for you to see it.”

“That’s great, Emily. It makes me feel better, you living with someone.”

I felt my forehead wrinkle. “Why? I do fine alone.” And when I said those words I realized it was true. And it had nothing to do with where I lived.

“Oh, I know you do.” She took a drink of her coffee and didn’t elaborate.

***

I never told her about my plans to meet later with Nicole. I was hoping our study and preparation session would be quick and uneventful. How wrong I was.

I met Nicole after class as promised in the seating area Graham and I used to frequent. I hated being there. I felt my stomach start to sour, and tried to focus on the matter at hand.

She approached looking as serious as I felt. It gave me hope that she too wanted to take care of business
.
She took the seat next to me and opened her folders before she uttered a word. There were no typical salutations or idle chit-chat, she simply jumped right in.

“And here’s what you’ll speak about. We’ll go in order and….” She went on. I gobbled up all the instruction, realizing again how thorough she was. I felt myself actually feeling thankful she was on my team. And that pissed me off even more.

Thank goodness we finished quickly, because the tug-of-war I was having started to bug me. I knew exactly what I needed to do for the presentation and I was confident I could get it done, and that’s what mattered.

Simultaneously we packed up our things. Nicole paused, holding one book in her hand above her backpack. “You know,” she started, “I can’t believe…how cool you are.”

I didn’t know quite how to react to that statement. Was I being cool? It seemed to me I was just doing my coursework. “Um, thanks, I think,” I said
,
totally confused by her remark.

“I mean, you know, with me and Graham,” she said sliding her book into her backpack.

This was perplexing
.
I was starting to get a bad feeling. Did she mean their shared history? I couldn’t think of anything eloquent to say. So I didn’t try. Instead I went the direct route. “What are you talking about?”

“We’ve been worried we’d run into you or something. But you seem fine.” She zipped up her backpack and stood waiting for me to respond, I presume. The room stopped. What the…?

“You’ve been worried you’d run into me recently?” I asked, starting to catch on.

“Yeah…” she responded slowly. I think she was beginning to understand why the
coolness
was gone from my voice
.
“You did know we’re together didn’t you?”

I sat back in my chair. Actually, collapsed into my chair is a better way to describe it. I opened my mouth to exclaim NO! But no words came out. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, and I just sat there staring at her. Was she kidding me? Was I really that stupid? Then I answered my own questions. Evidently, you idiot. He was with both of us.

During my silence she started to pale. She sat back down and dropped her backpack to the floor. She was getting it now.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t know? I’m so stupid,” s
he said.

I
f you think y
ou’re stupid now, just wait.
That was all I could think.

“We need to talk,” I said resting my hands flat on the table. I think I hoped it would steady me.

As I told her that her boyfriend was seeing both of us, the last dots of color drained from her face. I almost felt sorry for her. I guess I wasn’t as blindsided as she was. There was a vulnerability to her I didn’t expect. While I went straight to pissed-off, she just looked heartbroken. I was thinking of ways to kill him, and she was still stuck on “how can it be?” I wanted to shake her and tell her exactly what to do. But it wasn’t my place.

“Look, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. I can see you’re... Um, yeah. I’ll just go.” I picked up my bag and pushed my chair under the table. She still looked dazed as she stared at her feet. I had my own rage issues to deal with. I walked away.

I went home preoccupied with more Graham drama…again. If there was any question in my mind, it was gone now. It was so over. So over! Ordinarily, I would have either driven over to his place or picked up the phone. But this time something told me to sit tight and calm down. An opportunity to deal with him would present itself. It wasn’t like me to listen to any kind of inner reasoning, but I did.