Evernight (The Night Watchmen Series Book 2) (39 page)

But I stand in the middle, and I call the shots. Whether they know it or not, they’re about to find out.

“
W
ELL, THAT WENT WELL,” WELDO
N
says as we head to meet the others.

I don’t say what I’m thinking. I don’t think the thoughts can be formed into actual words. All I know is that Clara will soon be on the loose, and she’ll be out for blood. And now the Academy is under a direct threat, putting Katie and everyone else at risk. All because of vengeance. All because I wanted to bring Clara down.

“Hey,” Jaxen says to me as we get inside the elevator. He’s reading me like an open book. I want to draw on his strength. On his ability to stifle his emotions long enough to let his brain process. “Everything is going to work out okay. We’re in this together.”

“I feel like I haven’t stopped since I touched the Culling quartz,” I admit low enough for only him to hear.

He steps into my space. Pins me against the wall. His hand lifts, and then he drags his finger slowly along the side of my face, while his eyes roam over my lips. “We’re going to do this mission and return to finish what we started with Clara, okay?” he says confidently.

I nod, trusting in the depths of his sparkling green eyes. Although I know neither of us knows for sure how this will go, I’m no longer worried. I don’t feel alone in it.

The door to the elevator opens. We head out of the building and across a bridge to where the Military Compound is. I keep my thoughts focused on my steps. One foot in front of the other. Eventually, I won’t be standing in this city any longer. I’ll be back in the real world, trying to break one of the very things that protect the humans from the Underground.

This can’t be happening. This can’t be real.

My lungs fill up with air, and then release on a bark of laughter. Crazed, panicked laughter. I can’t stop myself once I start. I can’t get a breath in as everything collapses down around me. Katie, my parents… all of it. Truths, lies… all of it.

Weldon and Jaxen stop just outside of the Military Compound and exchange looks. I don’t think they know what to do with me, and I don’t blame them. I’m sure I look like I’ve cracked.

And I just keep on laughing.

“Are you okay?” Jaxen asks, reaching for me.

I can’t answer. I bend over, clutching my stomach as the laughter keeps coming. Keeps bubbling over. It’s like this awful, dark cloud that’s filled with every bit of realization I’ve been dodging lately, and it’s finally opened up and giving me hell. And somewhere in the midst of my laughing fit, it shifts into this awful sickness. This awful need to release the salt that harbors all of my fears within my body.

“She’s on meltdown mode, Jaxen,” Weldon says in a low tone.

“Faye, you have to snap out of it,” Jaxen says. There’s a mixture of concern and aggravation in his voice as he looks at the prying eyes around us, and it does nothing to clog the free-flowing faucet of my emotions. He cautiously reaches out for me, but I yank back.

I can barely see them through the blur stinging my eyes. “Everyone keeps telling me what I
have
to do. Everyone. The Darkyns. The Primevals. Weldon. You.” I suck in a deep breath and finish, “No one ever asks what
I
want. No one ever explains
why
I have to do this. Because the truth is, I don’t want to! I don’t want to break the seals! I don’t want to go against our Divine! I don’t want this power, and I surely don’t want to be the face behind a rebellion against the proclamation!”

My mind is swirling, twirling, spinning against my will. I’m taking unsteady steps backwards, away from the Military Compound. Away from familiar faces. Away from the choices I don’t want to make.

“She’s going to run,” Weldon says, sounding partly amused, partly bored.

“I’m not deaf!” I shout at him, pounding my fists against my legs. “I can hear you, damn it!”

“Good!” he shouts back at me, finally reaching his limit. “Because you’re making an ass of yourself right now! None of us asked for this, but we’re all here because you’re here, and if you’re not here, then why are we here?”

I stop in my tracks. Wipe my nose with the back of my hand. “What the hell did you just say?”

“I don’t know, damn it!” he yells, his voice breaking at the height of his anger, of his disappointment in me. He sucks in a long, really deep breath. Turns to the building, curses under his breath, and then turns back to me. “We’re all feeling this right now. We all have something to lose. Look, all I know is that you need to pull yourself together. Don’t break like some silly schoolgirl. You’re stronger than that. Better than that!” He shoves a hand through his hair. “Now, I’m going into that building to suit up. I’m going to finish what we started. You can either man up and follow, or go be a coward and… and sit there in your cowardice… as a coward… being cowardly or whatever.”

He stalks off, leaving me standing with my jaw on the floor and my foot in my mouth.

“It’s okay, Faye,” Jaxen says after a long moment of silence. After Weldon’s steps have long left us.

“No, it’s not,” I say firmly, searching for the pieces of my courage that have been lost along the way. I don’t lean on Jaxen when he offers to hug me, because Weldon’s right.

I do need to man up.

I do need to stop acting like a scared, wounded schoolgirl, and the only way that can happen is if
I
make that change.

Because this isn’t about me anymore. This is about the Darkyns and putting a stop to them. This is about all the innocent bystanders who get hit with their attacks and threats day in and day out. I have to put a stop to this. I have to end the Darkyn Coven.

We enter the Military Compound and are immediately swept up by a colonel and taken to the weapons room. The Elite’s uniform is shoved into my arms, and them I’m guided away from Jaxen and left to stand alone in the locker room. I stand there for a moment, looking down at the uniform. It’s much like the Night Watchmen uniform. All black. All leather. But this uniform has magic woven into the fabric. Magic that supposedly stops outside magic from entering.

After putting the uniform on, I stop in front of a mirror and pull my hair back into a high ponytail. It’s been far too long since I’ve actually taken in my appearance, and I’m almost startled by the person reflected in the mirror. She doesn’t look how I remembered myself to look.

Her muscles reflect the hours spent in the gym. Her eyes are deeper, harder. There are dark circles under her eyes that offset the light pink of her lips. She looks almost like how a warrior would look.

“Middleton?”

I spin around at the voice. A woman with short, cropped, strawberry-blonde hair has her head poked through the door. “The general is asking for you. It’s time.”

“Thank you,” I say as I walk away from the mirror and out of the locker room.

I follow the woman down a path of halls until we pass a wall that’s made with half-glass. On the other side, there are a bunch of men in tailored suits with the Coven crest on their backs, all huddled over a large, oblong table. I spot Jaxen and Gavin standing in the mix, both watching intently as the other men in the room point and shout out various opinions.

“This is it,” the woman escorting me says. She pushes the door open to the room labeled: War Intelligence.

Every head jerks in my direction. Every eye preys over me, sizing me up. I know I could shrivel up… hide inside myself, but then I lock eyes with Weldon and I force my chin in the air. I clench my fists at my sides and enter the room, stopping next to General Sterling.

“Everyone, this is the Everlasting, Faye Middleton.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I say, glad my voice sounded steadier than my heart. They all nod simultaneously at me before turning back to the maps spread out across the table and continuing back into the heated debate.

“Go and wait over there with your partner, Middleton,” General Sterling says kindly. He offers what I think could be a small smirk, and then turns back to another general, who addresses him.

“General Sterling, do you not agree that we should follow through with the Double-Wave Operation?” I squint to read the name tag on the jacket pocket of his suit. General Tillman.

“I do not agree,” Sterling replies diplomatically. “Any wave we send in, they will return. You’re forgetting that they are expecting us now. There is no element of surprise. The only way we can combat expectation is by being prepared and giving them what they expect.”

“What?” General Tillman asks. The room is dead quiet now. “You want to hand them the Everlasting?”

“At this stage in the game, it’s only going to get worse. They start with the threats. We don’t deliver. They follow through with the threats. We still don’t deliver. So they amp up their strategies and begin attacking the heart of our operation. They attack in ways they know will draw her out. In the end, she will go one way or another. In the end, she will be faced against the Darkyns.”

“They can’t get a hold of her, Sterling. All hell would break lose.”

“It’s already going to. One way or another,” I say. In one statement, I have the attention of every highly ranked man in the room. And it doesn’t scare me as much as I thought it would. My words don’t trip like they once did. “You’re all forgetting I can bring down a room full of men in a single blink. I know I can. I can do this mission and return. I can do the undoable.”

“But what then, Middleton? They won’t stop harassing our people until they get what they want. Countless will die,” General Tillman says. “We must think of all sides. We must prepare for the worst.”

“Then we draw them out into battle,” General Sterling says. “We take them out first.”

“They won’t come out to battle. You know that,” Tillman says, dismissing the idea. “How long have they waited in the shadows?”

“They aren’t in the shadows anymore,” Weldon says from behind me. “They’ve made their appearance. They’re gearing up for the fight of the century.”

“I can draw them out. If I’m in the middle of that battle, they
will
come. It’s their only chance to capture me,” I say boldly. I don’t completely know what I’m signing myself up for, but it feels right. “Taking them out little by little will be the only way to prevent further harassment until we can reach the Exanimator.”

Tillman looks up at me. “You know of it?” He looks to his commanding officers around the room. “How many know of this machine? This is highly classified information! Someone has leaked.”

“No one has leaked anything, Tillman,” General Sterling says. He presses his eyes shut in angst. “Everyone knows of the legend. It isn’t rocket science.”

“It’s the most dangerous machine known to our kind, Sterling,” Tillman says, his face twisted in revulsion. “Do not mock it.”

I hate that I notice Weldon tensing up. I hate that I see him being forced against his will into it, strapped in by leather and gagged. His eyes lift just enough to meet mine, and then he looks away.

General Sterling flattens his palms against the table and levels his gaze on Tillman. He’s the type who likes to intimidate with his eyes alone. He wants to pull you in, suck your resolution deep inside his black irises, and then spit you out not remembering what ground you stood on in the first place.

“Enough of this repetitive debate. It’s getting us nowhere. Let’s have a vote. All in favor of striking them hard and taking them out, using the Everlasting as bait, raise your hand.”

Slowly, hands begin to rise around the table.

If General Tillman could breathe fire, I think he would. I can almost see the steam wisping from his ears. His lip twitches at the corner as his eyes harden into a steely gaze that not even Sterling could waver. It’s then that I see why he is the lead general over war. I imagine him on the battlefield, killing with his bare hands.

“And I am your commanding officer,” General Tillman says firmly. “I have final say. We will attack with the Double-Wave, and when their numbers are lowered, the Everlasting will be sent in to destroy the Holy Seal. When that is accomplished, she is to return here so we can prepare for the Unholy Seal.”

He turns to me, and I swallow hard. “Head to the weapons room to be prepped and briefed for the mission. We leave at 2300 hours.”