Every Day a Friday: How to Be Happier 7 Days a Week (9 page)

As a teenager, Frank Lloyd Wright, who became a famous architect, was walking through a snow-covered field with his uncle one day. They were headed to a house. But along the way Frank veered off and stopped by a barn to see the animals. Then he went over to a pond and took a look at that. Then he saw a fort off in the distance. He went out of his way to see that.

When he finally caught up with his uncle across the snow-covered field, his uncle said, “Now, Frank. I want to teach you a lesson. Look back at our footsteps in the snow. Mine came straight here. I never ventured off and I arrived here much quicker than you. But Frank, look at yours. You zigzagged all over the place and wasted so much time stopping all along the way.”

Frank Lloyd Wright said that was one of the best lessons he ever learned. But he took it in just the opposite way from what his uncle intended. His philosophy was, “I still arrived at the same destination, but I enjoyed all the sights along the way.”

There should always be a balance between working hard, being focused, accomplishing dreams, and taking time to stop and smell the roses. Appreciate and enjoy the great things God has placed in your life. Some of you are all work and no fun. If you change your approach, slow down, and enjoy the journey, you will still arrive where you’re supposed to be, but your life will be so much more fulfilled.

I learned a lot of this from Victoria’s side of the family. They love to
laugh. They love to have fun. They enjoy one another. At dinner they can sit there and talk for hours. I can eat in ten minutes and I’m done. I’ll think,
Let’s get busy. Let’s go do something. We’ve got goals. We’ve got dreams.

Recently Victoria’s mom, brother, and other family members came over after church for a late lunch. After I finished eating, I went to another room and watched a football game. Two and a half hours later I returned and they were still sitting at the table, in the same seats, laughing, talking, having fun. I was so amazed. I said to Victoria, “What are you all talking about?”

She said, “Oh, nothing.”

Let me tell you, they can talk about nothing better than any folks I know. Why is that? They enjoy one another. They’ve taught me how to take time to smell the roses.

Think about this: God gives us a sunrise every morning. Do you ever enjoy it? He gives us stars every night. Do you ever look up and appreciate them? Maybe you have your mom and dad living close by. Do you ever stop by and spend time with them? Do you ever call them and talk about nothing?

God has blessed many with beautiful children. Do you enjoy them, or are you so busy raising them and cooking their dinners, making sure they’re doing their homework and making sure they’re cleaning their rooms, that you don’t really appreciate the gift God has given you? I know most parents love their children. No doubt about it. But many don’t really enjoy their children. Some parents let the pressures of raising them rob them of all the joy their children have to offer.

When our daughter, Alexandra, was about three years old, she used to wake up at night and come down the stairs into our room. Of course, we would have to take her back to bed. For a few months she was waking up two or three times a night and coming down.

This was not long after I took over for my father and started pastoring. I was learning to minister, and there was a lot of stress and change just with that, so I wasn’t sleeping much. One time I was telling Victoria, “We’ve just
got to do something about Alexandra. She’s coming down so much. You know, I’m just so tired. I’m not getting enough sleep.” On and on.

Victoria said something I’ll never forget. She said, “Joel, just remember, twenty years from now, you’ll give anything to hear those little footsteps coming down the stairs. You’ll give anything to have her wanting to come into your room.”

That changed my whole perspective. I began looking forward to it. I treasured those moments that we could spend together. Your children may be a lot of work right now, but make sure you’re enjoying them. They won’t always be in the house with you.

You have to realize there are some things you cannot get back. Your children will be home for only so long. Take time for the people in your life. Don’t rush out of the house without giving your spouse a hug. Don’t be so busy that you can’t go on that promised date with your child. Don’t come home so tired that you can’t go to the park and watch your teenager skateboard.

Make memories together. Twenty years from now you will look back and say, “Remember when our baby woke us up every night? Remember when our child made the game-winning shot? Remember when I’d take you to the park and chase you around? Remember when we’d sit around the dinner table and laugh and tell stories?”

Don’t take now for granted. Your family needs what you have. They need your smile, your encouragement, your support, and your wisdom. They need to know you care and that they mean the world to you. It’s important not to just be
in
the house. Don’t just show up. Be involved. Be engaged.

I heard someone say, “It’s not the time we spend together. It’s the moments we ignite to make memories.”

I know plenty of people who live in a house full of family but they’re very lonely. Everybody is busy. Everyone is doing his or her own thing. Nobody is stepping up to say, “You know what? We’re a family. We take time to sit together at the dinner table and catch up. We enjoy the ball game or a dance recital and cheering on family members. We lift up one another when we’re falling. We’re enjoying what God has given us.”

It’s easy to be too busy. It’s easy to become disengaged. But if you want the most out of life, draw the line and say, “I’m slowing down and enjoying the journey. I’m not taking for granted what God has given me. I’m not being a workaholic, and I’m not missing the years when my children are growing up. I’m not living so stressed out that I can’t appreciate the simple things in life.”

A few years ago I was rounding everybody up at our house to leave for church, and we were running late. I was in a big hurry, all stressed out. Our son, Jonathan, was about eight years old. Somebody had given us a label maker, one of those little machines that you can type a message on and print out a label with a sticker on the back. Jonathan was by the back door typing in a message.

“Jonathan, put that up,” I said. “We’re late. We’ve got to go right now.”

He said, “Hang on, Dad. I just need another minute, just another second.”

I said, “Jonathan, we don’t have another second. We’ll be late for church. You’ve got to put it up.” I was getting more and more stressed out.

About that time he printed out the message and handed it to me.

“You’re the best dad in the world,” it said.

I thought,
Well, maybe we can stay here a little longer, and print out a few more of those
.

Sometimes we become so caught up in our goals and so focused on the end result that we miss the miracles all along the way. Take time to smell the roses. Enjoy the different personalities God has put in your life.

I’ve found it’s the simple things that mean the most. You don’t have to take an expensive vacation to make a memory. You can create a memory sitting at the dinner table. You can experience a memorable moment watching your children play in the backyard, or rising early with your spouse and taking in a beautiful sunrise.

Some of my best childhood recollections were created when all of us kids—there were five of us—would sit with my father early in the morning and drink coffee by the fireplace.

My father would take his first sip of coffee then let out a long “Ahhh.”
All of us kids, from four to fourteen, would do the same thing. We would have a contest to see who could do the best “Ahhh.”

We laughed and had so much fun together. My brother Paul says his children still drink coffee early in the morning, sip it, and say their “Ahhhs.”

I don’t drink coffee anymore. I’m a little bit holier than he is!

Our family didn’t have a lot of money when we were little, but my parents were very innovative. Occasionally they would drive us to the nearby airport when it wasn’t busy, and we would ride the shuttle train together. That was free. We loved it. You would have thought they were taking us to an amusement park. We would go back and forth between Terminal A and Terminal B for an hour or two.

I’m sure people thought,
That family is so lost. They don’t know what they’re doing.
You know what we were doing? We were making memories. We were having fun together as a family.

When our children were younger we took them to Disneyland. Alexandra was about five years old. It was very much a struggle getting there that day. There was a lot of traffic. We were in a rental car, and we had difficulty finding a place to park. There was a long line just to catch the tram to the park. By the time we finally arrived in the park, I was very stressed out. We weren’t there fifteen minutes when little Alexandra said, “Daddy, I want to go back to the hotel and go swimming.”

I said, “No, no, no, Alexandra. We can swim anywhere. We can swim at home. We’re at Disneyland, the Magic Kingdom.”

“Daddy, I don’t want to be at Disneyland,” she insisted. “I want to go swimming.”

I tried to win her over by saying we might see Mickey Mouse or Snow White. I promised her that so much fun awaited us.

“I don’t want to have fun here,” she said.

I finally had to say, “Listen, Alexandra. I paid fifty bucks for your ticket. You’ll have fun whether you like it or not.”

Seriously, it doesn’t take a lot of money to have fun. Many times it’s the simple things that we remember the most. Like the hotel swimming pool!

Casey was a huge baseball fan, and for his son’s eighth birthday he bought him a baseball autographed by all of the New York Yankees. They had just won the World Series. He paid major money for it.

Casey was sure his son, Logan, would treasure it for years to come. But when he gave the ball to his son, the boy wasn’t excited about it at all. In fact, he just looked at it and put it off to the side.

Casey was so disappointed.

“Logan, don’t you like the ball?”

“Yes, Dad. But I’d like it a lot better if somebody hadn’t written all those names on it.”

Like little Logan, we must learn to enjoy the simple things in life. Today, everything is so complicated. We have five hundred channels on TV, the Internet floods us with information, and now we can access all these distractions on our cell phones and iPads and other devices. We can never escape from our work or our diversions.

If you are not careful, you will fall into the trap of thinking that you should always be busy, and that you must always be involved in something big and exciting. Slow down and enjoy the simple things. Turn off the TV and spend more time with your family. Take a walk. Go for a bike ride. Play games together. Do those special things that you don’t need to pay for, no ticket required.

Growing up, we played a family game of hide-and-seek. My mom and dad would let us hide and then they would track us down and chase us all through the house. Playing that game with them was a highlight of my childhood days. My favorite memory is the time my sister Lisa became stuck in the dryer.

Thank God we had her on permanent press!

You can have great wealth and be miserable and lonely. Or you can have very little and still be happy and fulfilled. It’s all in your approach to life.

A wealthy father decided to show his seven-year-old son how the “poor people” lived. They drove from their big home in the city to a little farm in the country where this friend and his “poor” family lived.

They spent the night with the family in their little wood-framed house. They had no television, no fancy furniture, and no carpet. Since there was no entertainment in the house, this family sat out on the front porch, where they sang, told stories, and laughed together.

After being there two nights, the wealthy father and son headed back home. The father was very curious to see if his son had learned his intended lesson. So he asked him how he liked it.

The little boy said, “Oh, Dad, I really loved it.”

“Well, son, do you see how poor people can be?”

“Yes, Dad. I do.”

“Tell me, what exactly did you learn?”

“Well, Dad, I learned that we have one dog at home, and they have four. We have a swimming pool in the middle of our backyard, but they have a stream with no end. We have fancy lanterns on our house, but they have the stars. We watch TV by ourselves at night, but they sit around as a family and have fun.”

His dad shook his head, knowing that his plan had backfired.

But then his son added: “Dad, thank you so much for showing me how poor we really are.”

If you have people in your life to love, you are rich.

If you have your health, you are rich.

If you can hear your little girl’s footsteps coming down the stairs, you are rich.

If you can talk with your family about nothing, you are rich.

Maintain the proper perspective. Slow down and enjoy the simple things in life. Take more walks through the park. Look at the stars at night and think about God’s goodness.

When you wake up in the morning, don’t just drink your coffee. Sip it and say, “Ahhh.” Ignite that moment. Slow down and enjoy the journey. There will always be another dream, another goal, and another challenge. Take time for what matters most.

Don’t let yourself become so focused and driven, so busy with what you have to do each day, that you miss the miracles along the way. Imitate Frank Lloyd Wright and start zigzagging. Start enjoying the different things God has put in your life.

Someone said, “It’s not that life is so short, it’s that we wait so long to begin.”