Every Day a Friday: How to Be Happier 7 Days a Week (13 page)

“The reward is one of the king’s daughters in marriage and no more taxes,” they replied.

David saw great value in fighting this battle. There were serious spoils. When David’s older brother Eliab heard David talking about fighting the giant, he tried to embarrass him in front of the other men.

“David, what are you even doing out here?” he asked. “And what have you done with those few sheep our father left you with?”

Eliab tried to make David feel small.

I love the way David responded. The Scripture says that David turned and walked away from Eliab. David had feelings just like you and I have. I’m sure he wanted to say, “Oh, Eliab, you think you’re something great. You’re nothing at all.”

He could have chosen to take on his brother. But he didn’t take the bait. He focused on what was truly important. Had David wasted his time and energy on his brother, who knows if he would have defeated Goliath?

You have to ask yourself,
Are the battles I’m engaged in worth fighting? Do they have any rewards? Are they furthering me toward my God-given destiny?

If a battle doesn’t stand between you and your God-given destiny, simply ignore it. If somebody doesn’t want to be your friend or treats you rudely, that’s not worth a war.

When you are swept up in petty battles, you risk missing the Goliath put in your path by God to help you fulfill your divine destiny. The battles that do matter will come. Save your strength and energy for what’s really important.

Right after I began ministering, this older gentleman came up to me in a serious state of mind.

“I need to know what you believe about the second dispensation of the Spirit,” he said.

I thought,
Dear God, I must have missed the first one.

My usual tactic in these cases is blatant honesty.

“Sir,” I said, “I don’t know about that at all.”

This approach hardly fazed him. He wanted to debate, and since I didn’t jump in, he went right ahead expounding on his own.

“Well, Joel, I believe this… and this… and this.”

I kept my cool.

“You know what? I think you’re right,” I said. “I agree with you.”

My refusal to take the bait finally gave him pause, but not much pause.

“Yeah, but I believe this, and this, and this,” he said.

“I agree exactly,” I said.

His face reddened. I was confusing him with my sinister affability.

“Yeah, but I believe this and this and this and this.”

This poor fellow had won the argument three times, but he wasn’t happy. He wasn’t satisfied. He wanted to keep arguing. He was in fight mode.

Finally, he seemed at least halfway convinced that I agreed. He walked away. One. Two. Three. Maybe ten steps before I said, “Excuse me, sir. I’m not sure I agree with… that one thing.”

He whirled around.

“I’m just kidding. Just playing with you,” I said.

Believe me, his dukes were up. He was ready to fight again, but I was ducking and weaving, staying fast on my feet.

Some people are just contentious by nature. They argue with the image in the mirror. So smile and walk away, because there will never be a short supply of people looking to pick a fight or start an argument.

According to 2 Samuel 16:5–14, King David was walking down the street and a young man started making fun of him, calling him names, even throwing rocks. He followed him everywhere, just pestering him, trying to pick a fight, trying to aggravate him.

Finally, King David’s friends said, “Do you want us to put a stop to him? Do you want us to shut him up? He is a real pain.”

I love the way King David answered. He said, “No, let him keep talking. Maybe God will see that I am being wronged and bless me for it.”

That’s the attitude you need. It takes all the pressure off. You don’t have to retaliate. In fact, your attacker has done you a favor because God will serve as your vindicator. What this person meant for your harm will be used by God to promote you, and blessings will come your way.

N
ine-year-old Sam was visiting his grandparents’ big farm where he loved to walk in the woods with his slingshot. He practiced shooting rocks at trees and bottles and cans, but he didn’t hit much. You see, Sam was still working on his accuracy.

One evening after a day in the woods, he heard the dinner bell calling him home. As Sam walked toward the house he spotted his grandmother’s pet duck walking by the pond. He never dreamed in a million years he could hit the duck, but just for fun he pulled the slingshot back, and let it fly. Believe it or not, the rock hit the duck square in the head. The duck dropped dead without even one last quack!

Sam was shocked. He’d never hit anything he aimed at! He felt terrible.

In a panic, he ran to the dead duck and carried it behind the barn where he buried it in the woodpile. Sam was headed into the house, feeling terrible still, when he spotted his twelve-year-old sister, Julie, and realized she’d watched the whole sordid affair.

That night after dinner, their grandmother said, “Julie, I’d like you to stay and help me do the dishes if you don’t mind.”

“Grandmother,” she replied, “I’d love to, but Sam said he wants to do the dishes tonight.”

As she walked out past Sam, she whispered in his ear, “Remember the duck.” Trapped, Sam went over and did the dishes.

The next morning their grandfather invited both Sam and Julie to go fishing, but his wife had another plan.

“I really need Julie to stay here and help me do some chores,” Grandmother said.

Julie countered, “Grandmother, Sam said he’d like to stay with you and help you out today.”

Once again, his sister walked by Sam and muttered, “Remember the duck.” Sam did the chores. Julie went fishing.

After a couple days of hard labor, doing both Julie’s chores and his own, Sam had had enough. He fessed up.

“Grandmother, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, but I killed your duck.”

His kindly grandmother gave him a big hug.

“Sammie, I know what happened,” she said. “I was standing at the window watching the whole thing take place. I saw how shocked you were and I’ve already forgiven you. I’ve just been waiting to see how long you would let Julie make a slave of you.”

Sam’s grandmother was not standing alone at that window. God was right beside her. He sees your every mistake, every failure, every weakness. The good news is that He, too, has forgiven you. He’s not holding anything against you. He’s just waiting to see how long you will allow the accuser to make a slave of you.

The Scripture says, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus… who do not walk according to the flesh but
according to the Spirit
” (Romans 8:1, 4
NASB
).

Those last four words are the key. When you make mistakes, if you are in the flesh, you beat yourself up. You feel guilty and unworthy. You live depressed and defeated. But choosing that response will leave you on a dead-end street.

Instead, embrace the Spirit and say, “Yes, I made mistakes. It was my fault. But I know the moment I ask for forgiveness, God will forgive me and forget my mistakes so I can move ahead.”

Too many people go around feeling bad about themselves. When they
make mistakes, instead of receiving God’s mercy and moving forward, they listen to the voice of the accuser. That voice constantly rails at them about their mistakes, their blown diets, their temper tantrums, and their shortcomings. After so long, they are weighed down with guilt and self-condemnation.

A member of our congregation, Sheila, told me she felt guilty for giving her baby up for adoption as a teenage mother. It had been ten years, and she was still down on herself.

“I feel ashamed, like I’m a terrible mother,” she said. “I don’t know what was wrong with me.”

Sheila is listening to the voice of the accuser because of something in her past. Now she is carrying a heavy load of guilt that could destroy her future even though she knows that she made the best decision for her baby at the time.

Guilt puts you on a treadmill; you’re constantly working and struggling and sweating, but you don’t move forward.

The burden of guilt drains your strength, your energy, and your enthusiasm. Guilt will prevent you from forming healthy relationships. It can affect you not only emotionally but even physically. I’ve known people who have suffered nervous breakdowns because of guilt. Year after year, they have carried the heaviness. They are worn down and can barely function.

You may have made mistakes and done things that you’re not proud of, but the moment you asked for forgiveness, God forgave you. The Bible says in Isaiah that He remembers our sins no more.

If God doesn’t remember your sins, then that accusing voice is not God’s. That’s the accuser trying to sour your future. You have two choices in response. You can believe those lies, dwell on them, and allow guilt to weigh you down. Or, a much better decision is to rise up in faith and say, “No, thanks. I’m not going there. If God doesn’t condemn me, I’m not condemning myself!”

There is a difference between God’s voice and the accusing voice. When we make mistakes, as believers, we feel a conviction on the inside. We feel guilty. Our conscience tells us,
That’s not right
.

That’s the Spirit of God convicting us. The right thing to do is repent; ask for forgiveness and go forward. The moment we do that, God doesn’t remember the mistakes. He has no record of them.

Your mistakes and transgressions are not kept in a secret database somewhere. But as soon as God lets them go, the accuser begins working on you. Even though God has forgotten about your mistakes, the accuser tries to keep you feeling bad about yourself and your mistakes. He reminds you of everything you’ve done wrong and tries to force you to give up and sit on the sidelines.

The accuser’s goal is to deceive you into living condemned, to make you feel inferior and unworthy of God’s blessings. Be keen enough to recognize who is speaking to you. The accusing voice is not God’s voice.

Tell yourself,
That’s the accuser trying to dump another load of guilt on me, trying to keep me feeling bad. But I know better. I don’t have to listen to his lies. I believe what God says about me. I’m forgiven. I’m redeemed. My past is erased and my future is bright.

By not dwelling on those lies, you silence the voice of the accuser. The Scripture says, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32
NKJV
). The truth is that the price for your mistakes was paid two thousand years ago on the cross at Calvary. You don’t have to pay again.

You have been redeemed. God’s mercy is bigger than any of your mistakes. So press forward with your head held high, knowing your best days lie ahead of you.

You can’t do anything about your past, but you can do something about your future. Receiving God’s mercy and moving forward is illustrated by a story of three men carrying two sacks each. A passerby asked the first man what was in the sacks.

“The sack on my back is filled with all the good things that have happened to me,” he said. “The sack in the front is filled with all the bad.”

He was constantly focused on the bad things in front of him so he couldn’t even see the good on his back.

The stranger asked the second man the same question but received the opposite response.

“The sack in the back is filled with the bad things,” he said. “The sack in the front is filled with the good things.”

At least he could see the good and not focus on the negative. But both of the sacks being so full still weighed him down and made life a burden.

Finally, the stranger asked the third man the same question.

“The sack on my chest is filled with my accomplishments and victories,” he said. “The sack on my back is empty.”

“Why is it empty?” the stranger asked.

“I put all my mistakes, failures, guilt, and shame in that sack, and I cut a hole in the bottom to release them,” he said. “That way, I’m weighted in the front more than the back so I keep moving forward. In fact, the empty sack in the back acts like a sail in the wind, moving me ahead.”

Like that third man, you have to let go of the bad, hang on to the good, and keep moving forward toward your goals.

One way you know that guilt and condemnation are not from God is that they don’t help you improve. Guilt and condemnation don’t make you do better. When you go around feeling bad about yourself, you are much more likely to make another mistake. I’ve seen people on diets despair so much they need a bowl of ice cream to recover. They give up on their goals because guilt doesn’t make them do better; it makes them do worse.