Every Tongue Got to Confess (19 page)

A bunch of chickens and a rooster wasn’t roosting very high. Fox would go there every morning and catch a hen till he caught all the hens. Rooster says: “I’m going to change my roosting place and roost higher.”

So next morning Fox got dere before sunrise and rooster setting way up in de tree.

“Good morning, Brer Rooster.”

“Good morning, Brer Fox.”

Brer Fox says: “Brer Rooster, I got good news for you. Come down.”

“No, I don’t want to come down. It’s too early. Whut is the news?”

“Come on down so I kin tell it to you.”

“No, go ahead and tell it. I can hear you. Whut is the news?”

Fox says: “Law is now, fox eat no mo’ roosters, hounds run no mo’ foxes. Ain’t dat good news?”

While they was talking they heard the hounds ow-ooo…

Fox says: “Hush, Brer Rooster, whut’s dat I hear?”

Rooster say: “Dat ain’t nothing but dem hounds.”

Fox says: “Well, believe I’ll go.”

Rooster say: “Whut you skeered of? Didn’t you say de new law say hounds run no more foxes?”

Fox says: “Yeah, but them hounds liable to run all over dat law and break it. Good-bye, Brer Rooster.”

—M. C. F
ORD.

Frog used to have a long big tail and no eyes. Mole had eyes and no tail. So when one day de mole come up out de ground wid his eyes full of dirt he was just wiping his eyes and gittin de sand out. Soon’s he looked round he seen de frog sittin up wid his big tail and no eyes. So he said: “Say, Brer Frog, whut you want wid dat big ole tail for? Tain’t no good to you?”

Frog said: “Whut you want wid dem eyes and live in de dark all de time? Besides you roots yo’ way and gits ’em full of dirt.”

Mole says: “Les’ swap, Brer Frog.”

So they did. Now de frog got eyes and no tail and de mole got tail and no eyes.

—M. C. Y
ARD.

Cat and de dog wuz good friends one time. Both of ’em loved ham. So they put in together an’ went to town an’ bought ’em one. It wuz a great big ham. So de dog he toted it first. He said: “Our ham, our ham, ours, ours, ours.”

Come time for de cat to tote it awhile. She says: “My ham, my ham, my ham.”

Dog toted it agin. He says: “Ours, ours, ours.”

Cat took agin. She says: “My ham, my ham.”

Dog says: “Sis Cat, how come you always say ‘my ham’ when you totes de ham? I always say ‘our ham’.”

Cat didn’t say nothin but when they got almost home de cat
sprung up de tree wid de ham and set up dere eatin it up.

Dog says: “Our friendship is broke up forever. I can’t climb no tree, but you got to come down sometime and when you
do
…” (a significant shaking of the head).

—M
ACK
C. F
ORD.

Once upon a time there wuz a man he named all de animals. He named de lion, lion; he named de bear, bear; he named de tager, tager; he named de wolf, wolf; he named de fox, fox; de mule, mule; and all de other animals, so when he got to the donkey, donkey act stubborn. He caught de donkey by his ears and he pulled donkey’s ears and dat’s whut make de donkey’s ears so long now.

—N
ATHANIEL
B
URNEY.

When all de animals wuz in de ark de woodpecker started tuh peckin’ on de wood. Ole Nora tole ’im tuh stop cause he had done pecked uh hole nearly thew de wall, an’ Ole Nora saw he wuz goin’ tuh drown everybody; so he tole ’im tuh stop uhgin an’ when he caught ’im peckin’de nex’ time, he hauled off wid uh hammer an’ hit de woodpecker on de head an’ made it bleed. And that’s how come de woodpecker got uh red top-knot t’day.

—C
LIFFORD
U
LMER
.

Every time it rains the buzzard says: “Lawd, I wish I had a place to stay.” But as soon as it fair off, he say: “Who want to be bothered wid any home? It’s too nice flyin’ ’round.” But soon’s it starts tuh rainin’ again he says: “Lawd, I sho’ wish I had a home. If it ever stops rainin’ I’m sho’ goin’ build me a home.” But he never do. So that’s the reason the buzzard never have no home.

—A
RMETTA
J
ONES.

Once the hounds wuz chasin’ a fox and had run him all night long. And soon the next mornin’ he wuz runnin’ crost a mountain and looked back and seen the sun rising all red. He said to hisself: “Doggone my running soul: I done set de world on fire.”
*

—E
UGENE
O
LIVER
.

De alligator was laying in the marsh sunning hisself and catching flies when Brother Rabbit dashed in and run right cross him and wake him up. That made Brother Alligator mad. He said: “Brother Rabbit, what you doing running over me that way and waking me up outa my rest?

Brother Rabbit say: “You’d run over somebody, too, if you’d been troubled like me. The hounds is behind me and I am in plenty of trouble.”

Brother Alligator say: “Trouble? What’s trouble?”

Brother Rabbit say: “Brother ’Gator, don’t you know what trouble is?”

Brother ’Gator say: “No, I don’t know nothing ’bout no trouble. I ain’t never heard tell of it. What is it?”

Brother Rabbit say: “I’ll show you.” So he went off and took a lightwood torch and set that marsh afire all the way around. Then he went off and waited.

When the alligator felt that heat he made a break for de water, but no matter which way he run there was fire there. You know, before that, the ’gator was all pretty and white, but time that fire got thru scorching him he was black as a coal. Way after a while he burst thru the flame and heat and hit the water wham! An’ where he had done got burnt black all over he’s been black ever since.

And that is how the ’gator found out how trouble was.

—E
UGENE
O
LIVER AND
M
ARY
D
ASH
.

The flies was so small till everything trod on ’em you know and keep ’em back. And the flies held a conference—they wanted to know what to do. So they says: “We’ll go up to heben and tell God about it.” So they got one right after the other—one right after the other.

“Say, Lord, we ain’t got no weapons to fight with and no way to protect ourselves, and we can’t get nothing to eat.”

So God said: “Go on back and when you get back I’ll fix it so you’ll git the first taste of everything.”

So they did and they never fail.

—M. C. F
ORD.

One time it was very hard times and de man had a wife an’ five chillun an’ dey didn’t have nothin’ to eat. Dey looked, but dere wasn’t a dust of meal nor flour in de barrel, so he fixed him up a pole and dey all went down to de water. So he fished an’ he fished till he caught seven fish; one for himself an’ one for his wife an’ one for everyone of his five chillun. Den he said: “I b’lieve I’ll keep on fishin’ till I catch one for de cat an’ one for de dog.” So he did. But jus’ as he pulled out de las’ fish, he broke his hook. So he said: “It’s good I got a fish for everybody, ’cause I done broke my hook an’ I ain’t got no mo’.”

So he went on up to the house an’ dey cleaned dem fish and fixed dem. Then he seen he needed a bucket of water so him an’ de ole lady went after de water, an’ dey tole de chillun, “Don’t let de cat touch de fish. He sho’ will bother it if you don’t watch ’im.”

So while dey was gone, the children got to playin’ an’ forgot all ’bout de cat an’ de cat took an’ got up on de table an’ et up seven of de fish. Dat was all he could hold.

When de man come back an’ found out de cat had eat up de fish he said: “Dese two lil fish can’t save us.” He looked at the cat an’ his stomach was so full it was ’bout to bust so de man knowed them other two fish would kill ’im. So he said to the cat: “Since you de cause of all de rest of us starvin’ to death, I goin’ make you eat dese two fish an’ kill you.”

So he made de cat eat de fish an’it bust him open and he died. So de man an’ his wife an’ his chillun an’ de dog starved to death.

So dey all went up to heaven an’ when dey got dere God put de man on de scales to weigh his soul an’ de cat come up an’ looked at ’im so funny till God knowed there was somethin’ between the man and the cat. So he asked de man: “What’s between you an’ dis cat?” So de man tole him whut de cat had done. So God tole Gabriel says: “Grab dat cat an’
throw him outa here.” So because de cat had nine lives in his belly, he was fallin’ for nine days befo’ he landed in hell.

So dat’s why de people say de cat has nine lives.

Now, I want to tell you ’bout de porpoise. God had done made de world and everything. He set de moon and de stars in de sky. He got de fishes of de sea and the fowls of de air completed.

He made de sun and hung it up. Then he made a nice gold track for it to run on. Then He said: “Now, Sun, I got everything made but Time. That’s up to you. I want you to start out and go round de world on dis track just as fast as you kin make it. And de time it takes you to go and come, I’m going to call day and night.”

De Sun went zoonin’ on cross de elements. Now, de porpoise was hanging round there and heard God what He tole de Sun, so he decided he’d take dat trip around de world hisself. He looked up and saw de Sun kytin’ along, so he lit out too, (Gesture of swift flight), him and dat Sun!

So de porpoise beat de Sun round de world by one hour and three minutes. So God said: “Aw naw, this ain’t gointer do! I didn’t mean for nothin to be faster than de Sun!” So He run dat porpoise for 3 days before He caught dat porpoise and took his tail off and put it on crossways—still he’s de fastest thing in de water.

—M. C. F
ORD.

De lion he lived in a rock cliff. He fooled de other varmints. Dasa way he had to git his livin’ to keep him from gwine ’bout.

One day de rabbit he passed thata way and de lion said to him to come by and give him some water.

Rabbit he staid way out at de openin’ and looked all round at de ground and everything. He told de lion, “I wouldn’t mind comin’ but I see dese tracks all gwine in and none comin’ out. I’m kinda in a hurry anyhow, so I guess I betta go ’long.”

De lion sorta had a taste for rabbit dat day, so he tried to hold him dere till he could git upon him. But de rabbit wuz jist ez slick ez he wuz sly. De lion den see he couldn’t git de rabbit dat time, but he figgered he’d tole him on and lay for him; so he says: “Brer Rabbit, you mus’ come set wid me some time. I laks to talk wid yuh. You comin’ back dis way, aintcher?”

“If I have any business back dis way, I’m sho comin’ back, but if I don’t have no business, I sho’ ain’t comin’ back. You down here ’stroyin’ all de other varmints.”

De rabbit went booky-ty-boo, booky-ty-book on down de road all day. ’Bout sundown he come to a clearin’ where folks wuz workin’. It war a man and his ole lady and a passle of younguns. De man had a big ole shotgun. De rabbit laid low and watched him for a spell, keepin’ outa wind of de dawgs. Dey passed on from de field to de house, and de rabbit wheeled and loped back to where de lion wuz laid up.

“Hello, Brer Rabbit, I see you come back. You come to set wid me dis time, I reckon. You know, I’m sorta po’ly. Don’t look lak I’m goin’ to mend a-tall.”

“Naw, Brer Lion, ain’t got time to set down. I got so much business. I jist come back by to let you know I seen a place yis-tiddy where’s so many varmints, you’ll be glad to let some of ’em live.”

“Where dat at, Brer Rabbit?”

“Oh, ’bout a day’s journey from here.”

“Will you keer me dere?”

“Yeah, if you wanta go.”

“All right, I’ll be proud to go. Youse mah best friend, Brer Rabbit. Dese here other varmints see me lay dere ’bout to starve to death and dey won’t come nigh me.”

So he got hisself ready and followed de rabbit on off down de road, de rabbit keepin’ his eye on him all de time and keepin’ a safe distance ahead—never would let de lion git upon him close ’nough tuh harm him. Dey traveled and traveled till finally dey got to de fiel’ de rabbit seed de day before. De rabbit stopped de lion and put him in de aidge of de woods.

“Lay down heah, now, right heah. Man be long after while.”

“Whut
is
Man?” ast de lion, cause up tuh dat time he hadn’t never seed no man.

“You’ll see,” de rabbit tole ’im.

“I ain’t never heered tell nuh talk uh him befo’,” de lion said.

De rabbit kept him low and dey waited till de man would knock off and start home. De sun wuz still high. Dey seen somebody comin’ down de road.

“Whuss dat yonder comin’—dat Man?”

“No, no, lay down, Brer Lion.”

“But whut is it?”

“Dass a lil boy—thass a will-be. Lay down.”

By and by de horn blow for supper at de quarters and de man and his folks left de fiel’ and start comin’ cross a foot-log t’wards where de lion wuz hid.

“Rabbit, whuss dat yonder?”

“Shh-hh, dass Man.”

A horn was hanging from his shoulder. De lion saw it and ast, “Whuss dat hangin’ down on his shoulder?”

“Dat’s his voice.”

“Whut’s dem all round him?”

“Dat’s de imps dat his voice calls.”

“Whuss dat long thing on his shoulder?”

“Dat’s de stick he spits fire on de world wid.”

De lion got his bristles all up and ast, “Do you know how I kin git in contack wid him?”

“Yas,” de rabbit tole ’im, “go right down de hill and git on dat foot-log. He’s bound to cross dere.”

De lion romps down on de foot-log soon’s he seen de man git on it. De dawgs tackled ’im, but he wuz too severe for de dawgs. De man ups wid his shotgun and cracks ’im off and blinded de lion. He wheeled and run. Man wuz too severe for him.

Dat rabbit lit out soon’s he sont dat lion on to de foot-log. He done some fas’ traveling back up de country.