Everything I've Never Had (40 page)

Dear husband,

I don’t know what I did to deserve angels like you and Louis in my life, but I’m incredibly grateful for you both. Louis came over and we had a little too much wine while watching some old movies. He came clean and told me everything.

I can’t believe that Tripp asked you to look out for the children and me. Why didn’t you ever tell me? I had no idea. It makes me wonder if he knew that deep down we were drawn to each other. And the fact that you were there to bring him some peace of mind in the end makes me so happy. I think you didn’t tell me because underneath that sometimes-arrogant exterior that I worship at you are such a modest man, and I love you so much for that. However, you can’t keep information that substantial from me in the future. Remember: we are in this together.

I know you told me bits and pieces of what happened with you and the family, but I still can’t fathom why you would put yourself so firmly in their clutches for me. You knew they wanted you for a tool to use against your father, and you entered willingly into the belly of the beast. And for me?

And the lengths Louis went to try to find me someone suitable—unbelievable. And you two—working together the way you did. I hate how it all unfolded, but I’m glad that Louis came to you when he saw my future was at stake. I asked him why that was since you two didn’t really know each other. His response: he knew that you loved me and would do anything for me. He thought you loved me like he loves me, though. I don’t know what I’d do without you two. I love y’all so much. I can’t see the words on this page anymore. I have to go for now.

If I didn’t say it enough—I love you. So much.

Tu me manques,

Your wife

Wife,

Never thank me for caring for you. I’ll stop at nothing to protect you. Remember that.

Tu me manques, ma belle femme
,

Your husband

Hiya Pops!

I know Archer and Finn like Papa. But I like Pops. I don’t know if Ma told you, but Skip has moved on from this world. We’re not sure what happened to him, but we gave him a proper ceremony and burial in the backyard. I want to get a hamster now, but Ma says no cause it’s really just a cuter version of a rat. Will you talk to her for me?

Learning bass is awesome. Archer and I can play together more and his friend Taylor comes over with his electric. Ma is thrilled with our sessions. Not really! :P She does tolerate them, which is more than a lot of other moms would do.

Love you, miss you,

Paris

Dear Adrian,

I can’t believe you had my car outfitted with an iPod port. You really know the way to my heart, don’t you? The funny thing was when I told some of the other moms they looked at me like I was insane. One even said,”Is that what you wanted?” Umm…No, I didn’t even know it existed, but somehow, someway, my amazingly generous husband who is thousands of miles away and who knows me so well did! Thank you, baby.

About the family, other than Louis, I really haven’t seen them. The boys and are I staying to ourselves. Bonnie helps me quite a bit as does Garner, believe it or not. He’s good with them too. I did meet your mother for coffee twice, though. She’s got some definite issues, but she does love you and she’s been really sweet to me.

I’m sure you’ve heard that the Dog Tags cut a song on request of some affiliate of a major label. I went to listen. They don’t sound as good without you, in my opinion. However, they still sound really good. They’re just not great without you. I may, however, be slightly biased. They’re eager for you to get back.

I love you, baby, and miss you so much.

Celeste

Celeste, my love, my wife, my life…

I like it when you sign your letters wife. No, I don’t like it. I fucking love it and don’t stop.

Is the replacement rhythm guitarist as good looking as me? I know you have a thing for them. You know, as you practically fucked me with your eyes that night right before you attacked me and took advantage of me.

I’m happy you like your birthday present. I know how much you love your music. Did you get the iTunes card too? Did you discover some new artists to turn me on to?

Your love, your husband, your life,

Adrian

Dearest husband,

Shall I sign my letters Mrs. Adrian Hebert from now on? Would your claim on me be properly staked by that admission? Shall I turn my head while you piss in a circle around me? Wait, what century is this again? Kidding. I’ll sign my letters however you’d like. I miss you that much.

What’s with all the profanity?

And you know that no one is as HOT as you are.

Your love, your wife, your life,

Celeste

Wife,

Something about you calling yourself my wife turns me on. Speaking of, I thought you liked my dirty talk. If not, my sincerest apologies, madame.

And I’m only hot because I’m in this damned desert.

Your husband

Husband,

Talk dirty to me.

Your wife

It was after this little note that I started receiving these guitar picks with his naughty little messages.