Face the Music (53 page)

Chapter 28

Vegas was just what I nee
ded.  I had a new sense of self-
confidence and was proud of myself for all I had done.  All the running had transformed my once soft body into one of strength and endurance.  My spirit was lifted, and I spent the rest of the summer working and finishing up my classes.  I had done everything I hoped for.  Except get over Chris. 

Every now and then
Eddie’s words would taint my thoughts.

You didn’t do him any favors by walking away.

Sur
e
ly
,
he was mistaken.  The
y’d only gone out for a drink, after all.  I
t was entirely possible that Chris was having a bad night.  Maybe Cynthia was getting on his nerves.  Chris’s moods had nothing to do with me.  Not after all this time.

Yet
,
he was everywhere,
even haunting my
dreams.  No matter what I tried,
listening to music, reading, or watching TV before bed, he was always there, waiting to disturb my sleep.  I couldn’t escape.  It was maddening.

Molly woke me up one morning in early August.  The floor squeaked as she snuck into my room.  I pretended to be asleep
when she jumped o
nto
my bed. 

“Happy Birthday, to you!  Happy Birthday, to you,” she sang. 

I opened my eyes and gasped.  “Oh my goodness, Molly!  You scared me!” 

She stopped jumping and laid her head next to mine.  “Did I surprise you?”

“You sure did!”  I leaned over and kissed her forehead.  “It’s a good thing you reminded me, because I completely forgot!”

The corners of her mouth pulled down.  “You forgot about your birthday?” 

I hadn’t actually forgotten, I just wished everyone else would.  Birthdays used to bring our family together,
but now that everyone was gone
,
it was just depressing.  I picked up Molly and carried her into the kitchen. 

“Morning!”  Emily said cheerfully.  “Happy Birthday!”  She handed me a large
,
brown box.

“You didn’t have to do that.” 

“I didn’t.  It
came in the mail yesterday.  There isn’t a return address, but it’s postmarked from Detroit.  You know someone in Michigan?”

“No,” I said, examining it for myse
lf.  Who would send me
a package from Detroit? 

I ripped off the clear tape and lifted the folds of the box.  Inside was an X-box 360, complete with two controllers and a game.  It was the same alien-invasion game Chris and I used to play.

“Wow,” Emily said.  “Who’s it from?”

A piece of white notebook paper was taped to the game’s case.  My hands trembled
as I read the short, hand-written message: 
Memories of better times.  May your new year offer you many reasons to celebr
ate.  Happy Birthday, Allison.

“Chris?”
Emily asked.

I nodded
,
but didn’t look at her.
Why would he send me
this?

“You should call him.”

“No.  I can’t.”

“Can’t?  Or won’t?  They’re two very different words.”

I put the game back in the box and folded it shut.  “
Just stop!  Y
ou know why I can’t.”

“I know why you tell yourself you can’t, but it’s really very easy.”  She grabbed my phone, opened up my contact list, and scrolled down to Chris’s name.  “See?”

I about fainted when she pressed the call button.

It rang once.  “Emily!”  I grabbed for the phone and
ended the call.  “Why would you do that?”

“Why won’t you?” she challenged.

The phone vibrated in my hand.  I nearly dropped it.  Emily’s eyes widened.  “Go on, answer it,” she urged.

“It can’t be,” I muttered to myself before looking at the caller id.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  “It’s Lauren.”

“Can’t say I didn’t try.”

“Happy birthday!” Lauren sang.  “Got plans tonight?”

“Thanks, and no.  I don’t have a life anymore, remember?”

“Good!  We’re going out.  Get your sister, too.  Girls’ night.  Antonio said he’d stay with the baby.  I’m just dying to get out of this house and have an adult conversation.”

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard in a long time.  I haven’t seen you in ages!”  She’d been so busy with the baby, and I with school
,
that we hadn’t seen much of each other over the summer.

“
Decide where you want to meet
and
let me know,” she said.

***

I decided on pizza and beer.  There was a place on West North Street that was famous for its thin crust and microbrews.  Emily and I met Lauren in the parking lot,
and
the three of us were seated in a corner booth.

“H
ow’s that baby?” I asked once we got settled and placed our order.  “Got any new pictures?”

“Of course.”  She poked a few buttons on her phone and handed it to me. 

“Aw, she’s getting so big.  Look at those cheeks!”

Emily leaned over to look.  “I remember when Molly was that size,” she said.  “They grow so fast!”

“I don’t want to talk about kids tonight,” Lauren said, reaching for the phone.  “I want to talk about you.”  She narrowed her eyes and looked at me.  “I bet it’s safe to assume that Emily and I are on the same page.”

“About what?”

“You and Chris.”

I scowled.  “No, there is no
‘
me and Chris
’
anymore.  You know that.”

“And I think you’re completely nuts,” Emily said.

Lauren raised her glass and clanked it against Emily’s.  “See?  What’d I tell ya?  Sa
me page.  It’s like you and I have
got some sort of crazy
,
psychic connection,” she said, pointing two fingers at her own eyes and then towards Emily.  We all laughed.

“He sent her a birthday present,” Emily told her.  “An X-box.”

Lauren looked at me.  If she’d been surprised, it sure didn’t show.  “Uh-huh.  Tell me, what did you think of that?”

I shoved a big bite of pizza in my mouth and chewed slowly, hoping to delay the conversation, but she just cocked her head and stared at me until I swallowed.

“You’re not getting out of this, Allison Banks.  Answer the question.  What’d you think of the present?”

“It was very nice.”

She threw a package of crackers at me.  “Bullshit!  You thought it was nice.  How nice.  Nice, nice, nice,” she said, waving a finger in the air.  “Look who you’re here with, Allie.  Don’t play us for stupid, we know you inside and out.  Now, the truth this time, please.”

Emily laughed.  “You know, I never knew how much fun you were, Lauren.  We should hang out more.”

“Definitely,” she agreed.  “
Allie
?”

I thought about what to say.  The truth was, I didn’t really know what to think about the present.  I tried not to think.  “It makes it hard for me to get over him,” I finally said.  “It’s like it ripped open a fresh wound, something that had only recently scabbed over.”

Emily
and Lauren exchanged a glance.

“Do
you still have feelings for him?” Lauren asked.

“I’m trying
not to.”  I picked up my frosted mug and took a few swallows.  “But it’s hard.”

“I tried to get her to call him this morning,” Emily said.  “I even dialed the number for her, but she came unglued and took the phone away from me.”

“You won’t even call to say thanks?”

I shrugged.

“And he gave her ten thousand dollars this spring.”

Lauren nearly spilled her drink.  I shot Emily a sharp look.  “We don’t actually know that.”

“Ten thousand dollars?
”  Lauren’s eyes were huge.
 
“
And you didn’t tell me this because…?”

“It’s not a big deal,” I said.  “It was just some mistake.  A clerical error.  They’ll figure it out soon, I’m sure of it.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Lauren said.  She called the waiter over and ordered another round.

“Do you think he’s happy?” Emily asked Lauren.  “Have you seen pictures of him lately?”

She smacked her lips together.  “I have!  And no, I don’t think he’s happy at all.  He still looks good, of course.  I mean, my God, you could paint the man green and make him walk around in a barrel and he’d still look good.  But happy, no.”

Emily laughed.  “There’s just something different about him.  When he and Allie were together
,
he always smiled and had some sort of special spark in his eyes.  It’s gone now.”

“He’s not over her,” Lauren said, pointing at me.

“Hello!” I shouted, tired of being talked about like I wasn’t there.  “I’m sitting right here!  He looked perfectly fine the last time I saw him.”

Emily told her about our run-
in at the baseball park.

“He’s probably just exhausted from the tour.  Jake said that Sam is,” I reasoned. 

They exchanged another glance. 

“Look.  I have my reasons for doing what I did.  It was th
e best thing I could have done. 
I saved both of us from later complications.  He needed to get on with his career, and I need to get on with my life.  I really think that the two of you…”

“Have you?” Lauren asked, interrupting my rant.

“Have I what?”

“Gotten on with your life?”

The question hung in the air as they both waited for me to answer. 

“Yes,” I said.

“Bullshit,” Emily said, disguising the word as a sneeze.

“
I have!
  I took a full course load this summer, putting me back on track to graduate in three years.  And look at me.”  I deepened my voice and flexed my biceps.  “I’m a lean, mean, running machine.”

They both glared at me.

“She’s hiding from it,” Emily said.

“Totally,” agreed Lauren.

I was done arguing.  There was no reasoning with these two.  I leaned back against the booth and flipped through the beer menu.

Lauren saw my irritation.  “Okay, one more question and then I’ll stop.” 

“What?”

She kept her voice soft.  “At what point did you realize that you didn’t love him anymore?”

My fingers tightened on the menu.

Lauren and Emily held their breath as they waited for me to answer. 

“Paul called,” I said, hoping to turn the conversation.

“Ugh!”  Lauren shouted and slammed her palms against the table.

“Allie!” Emily hit me in the arm.  “She didn’t ask about Paul.”