Face the Music (54 page)

“No, I didn’t,” Lauren said, giving me a funny look.  “I definitely want to hear about
it
, but answer my question first.  When did you stop loving him?”

The truth hurt.  It felt like a thousand
,
tiny needles were being poked into my skin.  “I’ve never stopped,” I whispered.  The sadness in my voice was
transparent
.

Emily scooted close to me and rested her head on my shoulder.  “Aw, Allie!” 

“And you shouldn’t have to,” Lauren said.  “I just wanted to hear you say it out loud.  Someday you’ll figure it out.  You may be old and grey by then, but someday you will.”  She dug in her purse and handed me a Kleenex.  “Now, about Paul…”

The conversation turned away from Chris, and I told them about the half dozen or so calls that I’d gotten from Paul since Chris and I separated.  “He’s actually been very
supportive
,” I said. 

They both snorted and shook their heads. 

“Really!  He worries about me.  He even offered to buy me a ticket up there.”

Lauren scrunched up her nose.  “Don’t tell me you’re considering it.  That guy was nothing but bad news.  Trust me on this, he’s a scumbag.”

“Yeah, I agree,” said Emily.  “I will personally hunt you down and hurt you if you go.”

“And she’ll have to beat me to it,” said Lauren.

The rest of the evening was much less intense.  We ate our pizza, drank a few more beers, and called it a night.  Lauren hugged me as we left the restaurant.  “Sorry for being so hard on you.  I just want you to be happy.”

I hugged her back.  “I know.  S
ometimes I can be a little hard-
headed.”

She laughed.  “
S
ometimes?”

***

The studio offered me a contract for the upcoming season.  I accepted the offer and made a resolution to keep my professional life separate from m
y personal one.  After Chris
,
I had no desire
to
get
involved with any more Stars.

One Sunday morning I was sitting on the couch reading through my email.  “Hey, I got a message from Jake,” I told Emily as she paged through the sale ads.  “He gets back in town next week.  Can you believe the summer is about over?” 

“No, I can’t.  I am not ready for cold weather again.”  She went to the kitchen and brought back a magazine.  “Here, I got you something.  It has an interesting article, page forty.  You should read it.  Give Molly a kiss for me when she wakes up, okay?  I get off at five, so I’ll be home in time for dinner.” 

I finished reading through my emails before picking up the magazine.  It was a copy of
Entertainment Digest
.  Emily
was a celebrity whore, I decided
.  People like her were the reason reporters like the ones who used to bother me stayed in business.  I flipped to page forty and froze when I saw a huge, glossy picture of Chris. 

A yellow Post-it was stuck to the middle of his forehead.  On it Emily had scribbled
:
 
I’ll kiss your bu
tt if you think he looks happy

On it, s
he’d drawn a little face with squinty eyes and puckered lips.

I pulled away the note and peered into this face that I once knew so well.  The discrepancies were subtle, but they were there.  He looked different
.  Still drop-
dead gorgeous, but different, somehow.  His expression was hard
,
and his eyes were tired and empty.  Emily and Lauren were right, he didn’t look happy.  But that wasn’t necessarily because of me.  It had been months.

I skimmed through the article.  He was really doing it, really making a name for himself.  His album was scheduled to be out before Christmas, and his first release charted in the top ten and was predicted to go all the way to number one.  His
Superstar
dom
tour would end in a couple short weeks, and then he would return home to Virginia
for a break
. 

I closed the magazine and tossed it on the coffee table.  Leaning back against the sofa, I closed my eyes and once again felt justified in my actions last spring.  He never could have done all this with me around.

***

The rest of the week passed by quickly.  I made plans to meet Jake at the airport.   

“Jake!”  I yelled as soon as his familiar blonde form came into view.  I ran to greet him and threw my arms around his neck.  “God
,
it’s good to see you!”

“Hey!”  He squeezed me tightly.  “You look incredible!”  He shook his head.  “Damn girl!  What have you been doing all summer?”

I grinned, pleased that he had noticed my transformation.  “My running shoes and I became best friends.”  He continued to stare, and I laughed.  “How was your flight?”

“Long.  I’m starving.  W
anna go grab something?” 

I linked my elbow around his arm.  “Sure, what are you hungry for?  Pizza?  Mexican?  Chinese?  We’ve got it all.”

He grunted as he lifted a heavy suitcase from the luggage carousel.  “Know any good Italian joints?  I’d kill for a big plate of spaghetti.”

Indeed I did.  I j
ust wasn’t sure I wanted to go. 
I hadn’t been
back
to Gi
gi’s since my date with Chris.

Determined not to let Chris interfere with my life any longer, I set aside my qualms and gave the taxi driver directions to th
e restaurant. 

Once there,
I was overtaken with emotion.  Okay, so I wasn’t actually ready for this, but I decided to fake my way through it for Jake.  “
You go ahead, I need to use the restroom,
”
I said.
 

I took a minute to recollect my nerves and then found Jake.  He’d ordered a round of beers. 

“Thanks.”  I picked up the frosted mug and took a sip.  “How’s Sam?”

“He’s good.  He’ll start his senior year in a couple weeks.  He said he’s ready to come home.”

A waitress came by to get our orders.  Jake took great interest in watching he
r backside as she walked away.  S
ome things would never change.  He returned his attention to me when she rounded the corner and was out of view.  “What have you been up to?”

I grinned.  “Oh, you know, staying up late, watching old
,
sappy movies, sleeping past ten every morning.  It’s been rough.”  He smiled at my sarcasm.  “You?”

“Pretty much the same, minus the old sappy movies.”  He looked at the pictures hanging on the wall beside us.  His gaze lingered on the autographed picture of Chris.  “You talk to anyone from last season?”

“Nah,” I said, trying to appear casual.  My mind flashed back to that evening, the night Chris had first kissed me, but I forced myself back into the present.  “I get emails from a few of the kids every now and then, but nothing too exciting.”  I took a long drink.

“He’s really making a name for himself, isn’t he?”  He looked up at the picture
again
.  “I heard he’s coming back this season to make an appearance on the show.” 

I choked
on my beer
.  “That’s great,” I said,
picking up my napkin to wipe my
chin.

Jake took several big bites of spaghetti
and then looked
at me seriously.  “Are you doing okay?  You know, with everything?
”

“I’m fine,” I bluffed.  I really wasn’t fine
,
but was determined to make everyone think I was.  “Are you ready for the season to begin?” 

He start
ed to say something
,
but stopped
as if he changed his mind.  Fortunately
,
he let the conversation turn.

“Yeah, it feels good to be back.  I’m looking forward to having a normal schedule again.  Working at the bar was exhausting.”  He took a few more bites, picked up his mug, and leaned back in his chair.  “You seeing anyone?”

I gave him a blunt look.  “No.  Are you?”

“Naw.  There was this girl last spring.  She was really something, but it just never worked out.”

Chapter 29

The new season began right after the Labor Day weekend.  This time I
only had four students,
three boys and a girl.  All of them
knew
about my relationship with Chris and constantly asked about him, but I did my best to dodge their questions and stay focused on our work.

Routine came back easily.  Jake and I met for lunch most afternoons, and I went to
the university to put
some hours in at the lab twice a week.  I kept up with the show each Monday night, though not with as much enthusiasm as before.  I meant to stick to my r
esolution of staying detached.

One rainy afternoon
,
Jake and I were at the snack bar
.  I picked at my
dry ham and cheese sandwich an
d looked out at the dreary day.

“What would you think,” he wondered aloud, sipping on a Coke, “if I
were to ask your sister out?”

I looked up from the stale bread, surprised.  “Emily?”

He flashed me a smile.  “Do you have any other sisters I don’t know about?”

“Are you serious?”

“Sure, why not?  She’s hot.” 

“She’s my baby sister
.”

“Which is why I’m asking you first.  If you have a problem with it, then I won’t.  Whatever.”

Jake and Emily.  The idea took me off-guard, but it wasn’t completely out-there. 
T
hey were
actually a lot alike.  I couldn’t deny that it had potential.

“You know what?  Go for it.”

He clasped his hands together in appreciation. 

“But if you hurt her, I swear to you, Jake…”

He threw his arms up in the air.  “I wouldn’t dare!  I prom
ise to be the most gentlemanly -l
ike guy she has ever gone out with.  Scout’s honor,” he added, holding up his right hand.

“Assuming she says yes.”

A line of worry creased his fore
head.  “Why?  You don’t think she’ll go for me?
”

I laughed.  “Don’t worry. 
I’ll put in a good word for you.”

***

Emily was bursting with excitement when I got home that evening.  “Allie, you won’t believe who called and asked me out!”

“Jake?
” 

The enthusiasm in her expression faded. 

“He told me he was planning to,” I explained.  “Where’s he taking you?”