Fallen Desire (31 page)

Every time I see her, it’s like I’m seeing her beauty for the first time.  Her long dark straight hair is pulled into a pony tail exposing her cheekbones and wide brilliant smile that lights up her brown eyes.  She’s God’s creation, and He has created beauty and perfection.  With a second glance into her eyes I can see that something is different about her.  I sense that she has changed in some way but everything about her looks the same? 

“Are you okay today, Lindsay?”

“I’m perfect.  Why?”

“I don’t know.  I just sense that there’s something different about you, but I don’t know what it is.  You didn’t change something did you?”

“Nope.
  I’m the exact same Lindsay, just happier.  That’s all.”

“Oh.  I guess it’s just me than.  So are you ready to get going?  I want to take you somewhere else today.”

“I’m ready, but I want to talk to you first, Derrick.  I really think that we need to talk about our relationship and what it means.” 

I already know where she’s going with this, but no matter what she has feelings for me and regardless of what she thinks, those feelings will over power her will.  She cannot fight what’s meant to be.  “I don’t want you to worry, Lindsay.  Our relationship is whatever you want it to be. 
Nothing more and nothing less.  You make all the calls.”

“Good.  Then to be clear, we’re just friends.  I know that I like you, Derrick, but I don’t want us to act on our emotions.  I want us to be friends.  As you know, I love Ethan, and I wish to remain faithful to that and to him.” 

I swoop in close to her grab her hand and put it in on my chest.  “Feel my heart and you will see that I do not lie.  I promise that our relationship will be left up to you and what you want but I also promise you that you will see the truth in Ethan and our hearts will come together.  I love you, Lindsay but I will respect your wishes.”  Her face instantly turns red, and I can feel the heat coming off of her hand and her heartbeat speeding up.  It all tells me that her body is reacting to my touch, and it pleases me.  She desires me and is battling with herself to keep it under control.  Without her response, I swoop her up into my arms and take off through her window and into the sky.  No matter how much she denies it, I know I have her heart.

TWENTY SIX

Where he’s taking me, I don’t know, but I don’t like him when he’s all smug and a know-it-all, like he knows what’s best for me.  It makes me want to scream when he touches me.  I hate how my body reacts, every nerve igniting with his every touch.  When he grabs me in his arms and takes into the sky, he catches me off guard; it’s easy to relax in his embrace.  As I notice that we’re now back on the ground I open my eyes and look around.  Noticing where we are, I feel a little uncomfortable and not exactly sure why he’s brought me here. 

“A graveyard?”
I question.

“Yes.  Actually I’m hoping we can expand your powers in the way of being able to communicate with the dead.  This will better help you get in touch with your abilities to deal with those that have souls, that may mean healing them or killing them, it
’s up to you.”  This is crazy.  “One that has a soul?  Do you mean like you?” 

He smirks at my question, “Actually I’m referring to the Demons, which is why you’re here.  Not that I think they should be redeemed, but this is part of the training in the book, and it will help you reach your full potential.”

“Okay.  Well, where do we begin?” 

He starts to walk away, “I’ll be right back.”  He says and disappears leav
ing a gust of wind in his wake.  Within seconds he’s back with a handful of wood.  Laying them in a thoughtful pile he moves back then turns to me with a smile.  “Start a fire.” 

I must not have heard him right.  “What?”

He laughs, “Call on your element and let’s light a fire.” 

Without stopping to think about it I begin with my calling on the element of fire.

“Fire that burns and lights our way and keeps me warm on those cold days, please come to me and lend me your gift.”

From my fingers to my toes my body heats up.  I can feel the element travel through me.  “Now face your hands palm open toward the wood and concentrate on setting it to flame,” he guides me. 

With a deep breath and my hands facing palm out toward the wood and my arms outstretched, I put all my thought into the wood and I will it to burn.  In an instant, the wood burst into huge flames.  I jump back in surprise. 

“Wow!  It wasn’t even that hard.  All I did was will the wood to be on fire and then it was.  Is it supposed to be this easy?”  I’m smiling like a small child filled with excitement. 

“You will be surprised at how much this is taking out of you once you release the elements, even if you ask it to leave some of its gift with you until you heal.  Using the elements in this way takes a lot out of a witch let alone a human teenage girl.  Do not overestimate the power of the elements.  It will take time for you to become use to using the elements around you and not being exhausted afterwards.  Your body has to be trained.”  I can sense he’s pleased with himself. 

“Thank you for the reminder and also for your concern.  I do appreciate everything you’re doing for me.” 

A smile flashes across his face and then in an instant he’s back to business.  “Now that we have the fire going, I need you to call on the other elements including Spirit.”  Without giving myself time to think about it, I call on the elements one by one.

“Earth below me that brings life to that around us, I call upon you.”
 

Rapidly a yellow-green mist comes up from the ground below me circling around and finally seeping into me.  I can tell by Derrick’s expression, he can’t see what I’m seeing.

“Water that cleanses and purifies and is also a part of creation, I call upon you.”
 

My hands begin to get a strong sensation of being submerged in water and then my entire body feels wet and the smell of the fresh ocean surrounds me.

“Air, I call upon you with the ability you have to give me strength and fill me with your power to give life.”
 

A gush of wind whirls around me blowing my hair in circles and straight up.  Now Derrick notices and his face lights up with enlightenment.  With a breath and a little more focus I move on to invoke Spirit.

“Spirit that lies within us all, come to me and lend me your strength and closeness to life and death.” 

An odd sensation comes over me, a feeling of protection and security.  Spirit!  With a long exhale of satisfaction, I look up to see Derrick, his wings now expanded and surrounding him with silky white feathers expanding out on either side of him.  It is empowering and overwhelming seeing him like this, like a dream that instantly comes to life in front of your eyes.  It takes my breath away every time.  My body begins to heat up and not just because I’m standing next to the fire I so recently created but because no matter how much I tell myself I don’t want Derrick my body continues to tell me the opposite.  With the use of Air and Water, I cool myself and then use Earth’s powers to ground myself in order to concentrate on the purpose at hand.  I need to focus and not allow myself to become distracted.

“Sorry if I startled you changing like this but I had to let my wings out, I much prefer to be in my true form if I’m given the opportunity.”  Without giving him any impression that he got me flustered, I smile and stick to why we’re here.  “Whatever makes you
comfortable.  So, now what do we do?” 

He pauses for a moment before answering, “I brought you here because I want you to get into contact with the Spirit world.  I believe you have the capability of communicating between both worlds and the book of the redeemer shares some spells that will help you in the process.” 

I need more answers than that.  “The Spirits?  What do you mean?  Like bringing the dead back to life?” 

His expression becomes very serious as he replies, “No.  Lindsay, we are not going to bring the dead back to life, although that is something that you will have the ability to do someday.  For now, all I want you to accomplish is to communicate with the dead.  There’s power and energy all around you living or not because Spirit is with us even in the afterlife.”

“So to just make it clear I’m going to talk to the dead and use the energy that’s lingering to give me strength?  I don’t know that this sounds very angelic.”  A look of frustration washes over his face, maybe I shouldn’t ask so many questions. 

“For now, Lindsay, you’re going to communicate through your body.  Meaning you aren’t going to actually talk to the Spirits but you’re going to bring them to you and feel them.  You’ll feel their pain, happiness and all their emotions.  Eventually you will be able to communicate through your mind but for now I just want you to call on the Spirits that still linger in this graveyard.  At this point you don’t need to
use their energy.”  I nod not wanting to ask any more questions about this situation.  He pulls out the small dark book and flips through the pages furiously.  “Here it is!  Okay, Lindsay, I want you to repeat this chant as many times as you need to until you feel the Spirits within you.” 

I’m nervous and feeling a little unsure.  “Wait, how will I know that I feel them?” 

“Your ability to feel others emotions allows you to also feel the emotions of the dead.  Trust me, you will know.”  I take a deep breath and close my eyes opening my ears to his words.

“Spirits of the dead lingering on this Earth open up the door to our worlds and let me feel your presence.   I ask of you to reveal yourself to me so that one day I may use your abilities to help with my destiny. So mote it be!”

I repeated this chant several times out loud.  I’m not sure how many times and each time I concentrate even harder on the image of a gray door opening and releasing ghostly white Spirits of energy.  Then without any warning I feel them.  I can feel anger, aggression, and loneliness all at the same time flowing through my body.  I can distinguish that it isn’t my emotions but theirs.  It’s the emotions of the dead.  They’ve come to me and just like that, I can feel them the way I feel Ethan and others that get close to me.  It’s like they’re a part of me.  None of the feelings are good and I’m filled with anger and hate.  I keep my eyes shut afraid that if I open them I might see something frightening. 

“Derrick!  I can feel them inside me.  It’s scaring me.  I don’t like this at all.  Help me get rid of them.”  With my eyes still closed, I clench my jaw and tighten my fist doing all I can to keep myself stable.  They are uncontrollable and angrier than anything I’ve ever felt.  They don’t like it here, and they have been trapped for a very long time and over time their hatred has grown. 

“Lindsay, remember that you’re in control and not them.  All you have to do is tell them to leave you and enter back into their own domain, and they have to obey as you’re the one that brought them here.  Do not fear them, as they cannot cause you any harm.  Send them back and shut the door between the worlds.  Use this as an opportunity to keep control over those around you and also remain in control of your gift.” 

Closing my eyes tighter, still not wanting to see what is surrounding me and afraid that if I do, I’ll lose myself in the hate and it will consume me.  With a deep breath and full focus I use the power of the elements and will the Spirits back to where they came from, and in one second they’re gone.  I feel like myself again although still a little frightened to open my eyes.

“Lindsay, you can open your eyes.  I sense that the Spirits have left you,” he whispers to me. 

Without responding, I shake my hands as if to rid myself of any lingering fear and then slowly open my eyes.  Derrick is less than a foot away facing me with a look of concern.  His wings spread out
behind him as if ready for flight or battle maybe.  His appearance is calming, though and instantly I feel secure and safe again.  “I don’t ever want to do that again!  Those Spirits of the dead are hateful.”

“Calling on the dead will help you to learn to control your powers as well as have the ability to control the living and the dead Spirits that surround you.  You did very well, Lindsay, for being unprepared.  I should have warned you of the angry Spirits.  I guess I didn’t even expect for them to come to you with your first try.  You have to understand that if you can control Spirits and their emotions you
’re a step closer to creating and destroying life.  I want us to go over some practicing of destroying trees and other living organisms and then giving them life again.  The more you practice the better you will become and you will be able to use it on humans or fallen angels.” 

I’m listening but still shaken, “That is fine with me as long as I don’t have to call on those horrible Spirits again.  I think I might have nightmares for a week.  Not that I could see them because I refused to open my eyes but their feelings and emotions are so strong that I don’t need to see them to know how hateful they are.  It’s evil in a whole other form.  Nothing like what I’ve seen of Ethan.  I wish to stay away from that which is already dead, for now at least.”  Dealing with this level of energy that is filled with anger is not something I want to deal with.