Fallen Desire (28 page)

“Everything alright Lindsay?”
  His voice soft and sensual.

“Yeah.
  Sorry guess I’m just a little nervous that’s all.” 

He reaches for my hand, and even though I want to pull away, I can’t because my body wants his touch.  He intertwines our hands together and gives me a smile reassuring that everything’s okay.  His eyes light up bright blue and his aura shifts slightly brightening up as he grabs my hand.  He pulls me into him and puts his other hand around my waist placing his hand on the middle of my lower back and then brings his other hand around my waist holding my back and bringing me into him closer.  His lips move toward mine, and as I watch him his eyes sparkle with love and I can see his true feelings for me.  Not only can I see them but I can feel them too.  He loves me!  His lips touch mine bringing me to forget about everything.  He’s amazing.  Pure!  He tastes of fresh spring air bringing life into me and filling me with joy.  I have a battle going on within myself because part of me is telling me to pull away and stop but the other part of me is telling me how right this is.  As I’m about to move in tighter and kiss him back harder he gently pulls away, leaving me breathless. 

“Shall we begin?”  He asks as I let out a sigh.

Out of breath and not really sure what just happened I nod my head, and he walks me to the center of the opening where he has candles positioned in a circle.  Before stepping into the circle I stop and turn to face Derrick.  “Listen Derrick, I’m not sure what’s going on here, obviously I have feelings for you.  I know you have feelings for me but why when I start to give myself to you do you suddenly pull away? 
Before you couldn’t take your hands off of me.”  I feel agitated that I’ve allowed him to leave me wanting more. 

“I don’t want to pressure you, Lindsay.  I respect your space and your free will.  I want it to be fully up to you if anything goes further with us.  I don’t want to feel like I pushed the situation on you, and what happened before shouldn’t have taken place.  I shouldn’t be pushing myself on you.”

“I see.  Well I really appreciate that.”  Even though I want to tell him how much I want to pursue something more I don’t.  Remembering Ethan keeps me in check.  We spent the rest of the day training.  Calling on the elements and releasing them over and over again and practicing manifesting and destroying things.  By the end of the day, I was so exhausted I couldn’t walk home.  Derrick lifts me and cradles me in his arms and carries me back to my house and straight up to my room like the last time.  My mom and dad are already home, but Derrick was very stealth about getting through the front door without them noticing us.  Once he’s gone I’ll go visit with them so they don’t think anything’s up.  Cradled here in Derrick’s arms I start to imagine the dream I had of him, Ethan and Kim out in the forest and I’m thinking that maybe he is the person I can talk to about it. 

Maybe he will have some insight as to what my dreams mean and why I would be having one about him and Kim having an argument with Ethan. As he lays me down on my bed, I figure it’s now or never. 

“Derrick.”

“Yes Lindsay?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something – well more about a dream I had the other night.”

“What is it?  Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.  It’s just that the dream was so vivid and real – and you and Ethan were in it.  Kim was, too, which was kind of strange, but that could just be my subconscious pulling her in.  Anyways, you guys were all out in the forest and you and Kim seemed to be on the same side and she was an angel as well and then Ethan was trying to defend himself but you insisted that he leave me alone.  I know it was just a dream but I was thinking your book about the redeemer might have something in there in regards to the spirit of the redeemer having strange dreams and what it might mean.” 

His face seems slightly strained as he thinks about what I’ve said.  “I don’t believe it does, Lindsay.  I think it was just a dream and you shouldn’t concern yourself with it too much.  You had a long day and you need your rest for tomorrow.”

“Oh okay.  Just thought I would check.  Thank you, Derrick, for giving me your time today with the training.”

“Of course.
  You mean so much to me Lindsay, you have no idea.  I will do anything to help and protect you.  I know you have feelings for Ethan but please consider that I may be better for you.” 

I could hear him speaking but I’m already nodding off and don’t have enough energy to respond.  I know what he says is true I mean not necessarily the part about him being better for me but I’m going to have to figure out how I’m going to handle my feelings for him.  The last thing I want to do is hurt Ethan.

Derrick

Her beautiful skin and brown eyes are filled with so much history that
she herself doesn’t even know yet.  She’s more beautiful then she could ever know.  She’s filled with love and an instinct to take care of those around her.  Watching her call upon the elements brings me pleasure in knowing that I’m the one helping her to obtain her true and full potential.  It’s strange, though, to be standing here in the forest watching her call upon the elements not for the purpose of learning but for the purpose of wanting to protect herself from me.  She isn’t aware that I know what she’s doing but being an angel I have the ability to hear what’s going on around me, especially since she’s so close.  All I can do is just stand here and pretend to not notice for the time being until she’s done.  For her to think that the only reason she feels attraction toward me is due to my Angel distractions that work on humans, she has another thing coming.  She’s going to be in shock when she looks up to see me and still feels the same way no matter how much she tries to deny it.  And I’ll make sure that she knows how I feel about her, but at the same time I won’t let it go too far because I don’t want to distract her from what we need to accomplish here today.  I’m sure as well with the thought of Ethan in the back of her mind she won’t let it go too far, either.  Which makes me feel a little sad but I know she will come around to seeing things how I see them.  It’s the only way. 

As she looks up at me, it is undeniable that we are meant for each other.  Her eyes slightly confused but see the truth that’s in front of her.  I’m but a couple of feet away from her and with the expression of surprise on her face I can see that she has realized that her feelings for me are real which makes me want her that much more.  I would take her away from here if I could, so that we could be together without the unnecessary distractions of Ethan and the other Fallen, but I can’t.  I have to help her because in the end I’ll need her help in ridding the earth of the demons that are now allowed to roam free with no consequences for their behavior.  They harm humans every day by feeding on their souls, using them for strength and energy. 

The only reason Ethan hasn’t hurt Lindsay is probably that he’s been feeding on others, I just haven’t caught him yet.  Moving into her slightly I can feel that she’s at war with herself, trying to deny me and my touch but she can’t.  I grab her hand and pull her into me, as I press my lips to hers I realize that even though we’ve kissed before, it’s different this time.  This time she realizes that she wants it just as much as me; she cares for me, too.  Not wanting to distract us from today’s mission I pull away gently even though I don’t want to, I know that I have more willpower than she does.  Human’s hormones can be so overbearing for them.  It’s my mission to win her heart and also prepare her to fight by my side when the time comes and I won’t allow Ethan or anyone else to stand in my way of what is right.

TWENTY FOUR

Lindsay

I don’t know how much longer I can take this battle that I’m fighting within myself between Ethan and Derrick, both feel so right.  There has to be a greater purpose behind my feelings.  I’m not sure if my feelings for Ethan are because I’m created to save him and therefore I have a connection with him.  I really don’t even want to think about that scenario.  I’m going to have to settle my emotions for these two guys once and for all, but for now I just want to see Ethan.  Of course as soon as I have him back in my life my mom goes and plans a trip to the mall for the day.  Not that I don’t love shopping but since summer began things have been really crazy. 

I’m in love with two guys that aren’t even human.  I found out they’re both Fallen Angels, one is an Angel and the other is an Angel turned Demon.  On top of that, I’m some redeemer that sees auras – Angel and human – and I also feel what they feel.  I have powers that allow me to use the elements around me and I can kill living things or bring them to life.  Not that I’ve mastered it yet or anything.  My life went from pretty much normal or as normal as it can get being the new girl in town, to living in a fantasy world where pretty much anything goes.  I know I’m ready to at least attempt to help Ethan.  I know Derrick hasn’t taught me the spell that I need to use but I have a feeling he won’t be teaching me that part of it.  I know Avarie will help me if I need her but today is not the day.  I really need to see Ethan and be with him.  I can’t explain how much I miss his touch and the look that he gives me that makes me feel safe when I’m with him, like nothing else matters.  Before even thinking another thought about Ethan and asking him to come to me my phone rings.  It’s Kim!  “Hello?”

“Lindsay!  Listen to me.  This is urgent, and I don’t have a lot of time.  You need to stay away from Ethan!  I can’t explain why but you need to just listen to me.  He’s no good for you!”  That was it. 
The phone hung up.  She’s gone and has left me with no explanation and also leaving me with a feeling of worry and concern. 

“Ethan!  You startled me!”  His tall dark figure is lingering in my window way with a look on his face filled with concern. 

“Are you okay?”  Why would she be in a hurry and why the heck would she be concerned with Ethan and me?  She can’t possibly know what he is.  Or can she?  I never would have thought that Derrick was an Angel and she was an angel in the dream I had the other night.  Maybe my dreams are preparing me for something that’s coming and she is somehow involved in it. 

“Yeah, I’m okay but just feel a little out of place and
kinda frightened with the call Kim just left me with.  How did you know?”

“I sensed you felt fear and had to make sure you were okay.  Sorry if you didn’t want to see me.  I can leave.” 

That’s the last thing I want him to do.  “No!  Don’t leave.  I need you today, Ethan.  I want just a normal day with you, well at least as normal as it can be with you being a Fallen Angel.” 

He grins at me and then comes up to me leaning his knee on my bed and kissing me softly on the forehead.  “Why don’t you get up and get ready, and I’ll go get you some breakfast.” 

With a smile and a nod, I get up from my bed and move to the bathroom to take a shower.  By the time I’m done with the shower and dressed, he’s back in my room holding a cup of coffee from the local Starbucks and what looked like some coffee bread.  “Wow.  I could get use to this kind of attention.”

“I’ll do anything for you, Lindsay.  I want you to know that.  I would never hurt you and I’ll always make sure no one else does either.”  He confides.

“I know.  I can see that in you.”  I pull my wet hair up in a ponytail and sit on the edge of my bed grabbing the cup of hot coffee from his hand and relax in silence enjoying the coffee and cake and watching him and how beautiful and perfect he is.  I can’t help but be extremely grateful to have this beautiful Angel be a part of my life.  He brings all my senses to life.  “So what’s the plan for the day?”  He asks.

“I was hoping we could do something fun.  I was hoping to get away and just laugh a little.  Enjoy our time together and not be concerned with the craziness that’s going on right now.”  I don’t know what I want to do; I just know I want to forget all of our troubles for a while and just be with him. 

“I think I know the perfect place,” he replies. 

I grin foolishly, “Oh yeah! 
Where?”

“It will have to be a surprise.  Go ahead and finish up and then dress for some sun and we will head out.”  I scarf down the rest of the coffee bread but making sure not to look like a pig, was still carful about eating it and then take one last swig of the coffee and quickly get to my closet to pick out a more
summery outfit.  It’s going to be nice to spend the day with him.  As my mom made plans for us to go to the mall I quickly take a moment to go downstairs to let her know that I already had plans with a friend and had forgotten.  I reminded her she should use today to get her manicure and pedicure done and tell her we will definitely do something on her next day off.  I pleaded that I had already promised my friend that we would hang out today.  She was totally fine with it and probably more than happy to go to the salon instead. 

“Thanks Mom.  You are the best!”  I kiss her cheek and give her a grateful hug. 

“Yeah, yeah.  Hey one more thing, though.  What’s going on with the job you were going to start with Kim?” 

The last thing I want to do is lie to my mom, but I really don’t want her making me work at my dad’s law firm either because that will mean a whole lot less time with Ethan.  “Kim said we’re skipping this week as she isn’t feeling well but I think we’re starting up next week.  It will only be two days a week but it’s something.”  I come up with the only thing that will keep her from questioning me.