Fallen Desire (25 page)

She lets out a small quiet laugh, “Okay.  Well I love you, try and get some rest.” 

I’m relieved again that she didn’t question me about the job that I’m supposed to start next week.  “I will, Mom.”  Though I have a feeling she isn’t going to question it.  She’s always trusted me and the only reason she wants me to get a job is so that I stay busy during the summer.  It isn’t even for the money, so she probably won’t bother me about that either.  As she shuts the door I feel a brush against my back side. 

“How in the heck are you so fast?  I don’t remember Ethan ever moving that fast.”  I ask as I turn again to face the window and he’s already back by the side of my bed. 

“He could too, if he was at his full strength.  We can move at any speed we like but you’ve had enough for one day, so why don’t you try and get some rest now?”  He looks pointedly at me and then the bed. 

“I’m ready for some sleep.  Are you going to stay in here with me?”  His aura brightened up slightly and his face was lightened up with a smile. 

“Do you not want me to leave?” 

I look at him sternly, “If you promise to be good I would like for you to stay with me tonight, Derrick.” 

He crawls in behind me, lying on top of my blanket, and tightens his arms around me as he says, “I promise.”  As soon as I lay my head down and shut my eyes I’m asleep and in a dream state.

The sensation of Ethan surrounds me and I feel like I can smell him and taste him with every step I take closer to the creek.  I know he’s out there, waiting for me.  I have to go to him regardless of the evil that I’m going to be faced with.  I can’t take this separation anymore.  Derrick won’t know.  I’ll just let Ethan know how I’m progressing and that I’m still on his side and want nothing more than to help him.  The desire I feel for him is so strong that without any effort I begin to walk as if my legs know exactly where to take me.  Walking through the forest, I feel his aura near.  I stop just short of the small clearing in the woods.  I can see a set of large white wings unfolded and another set of black wings which I can see is Ethan as he’s facing my direction.  It looks like Derrick is the one with his backside to me.  There’s another presence to the right side of Derrick and the wings are expanded just as big but with a hint of lavender color toward the tips of the feathers.  Who knew there were angels just walking around on Earth?  Who knows how many there are. 

“Ethan!” Derrick shouts.  “I’m going to say it one more time.  Stay away from her.” 

Ethan’s expression stern and obviously in disagreement with Derrick.  “I can’t and I won’t!  She’s different – I would never harm her.”  Anger radiating off of both of them; I wish I could stop this. 

“I’m tired of you Demons thinking you can change.  I don’t care if she’s the Redeemer or not, nothing will ever change you or the evil inside you.  You chose this path and deserve what’s coming to you.  You don’t deserve redemption and neither do those like you.  You’re not an Angel anymore
Ethan; you never will be again.”  The Angel with the white wings edged in lavender turns to face Derrick, and I realize she’s a girl.  She’s Kim!  I immediately recognize her short blonde bouncy curls and the beautiful flawless appearance that she always has.

“Derrick, you don’t know that,” Kim says.  “I’m with you on the fact that Ethan is a demon and should be kept away from Lindsay but you don’t know if he can or cannot be redeemed.  She was brought to us for a reason and we can’t just ignore it.” 

What the heck is Kim doing out here?  There’s no way she’s an angel!  I would have known.  Then again I didn’t know about Derrick.  I take a couple of steps closer so I can hear a little better.  “Hush, Kim!  This doesn’t concern you.  You’re only here to assist me with helping Lindsay.”  Derrick’s voice is harsh when he speaks to her and her wings flutter slightly and they begin to droop, her aura flickers and dims ever so slightly. 

“I’m not going to stand around here and listen to this anymore Derrick.  I’ll stay away from Lindsay for now but once she’s ready for me back I will be there and you will not be able to stop me!”

“We will see about that,” Derrick responds. 

Ethan takes off into the sky and is out of sight within seconds and Derrick and Kim take off shortly after.  All this fighting amongst them because of me and all I want to do is just help Ethan. 

“Lindsay?”

“Lindsay, are you awake?”

“Dad!  Was I sleeping?”

“Yeah, looks like it.  Just thought I would come up and let you know your mom and I are heading off to the office.  We will see you this evening for dinner right?” he asks.

“Um, yeah of course.  I’ll be here,” I reply still startled from my awakening.

“Okay.  Good.  You look tired sweet heart.  Are you okay?  Not sick or anything right?”

“I’m fine, Dad.  Just tired that’s all.”

“Okay.  Well take it easy today then.  Love you.”

“Alright Dad.  Love you too.”  He kisses my forehead brushing my hair that has cling to my face and leaves the room.  A little startled from being woken I couldn’t really say much more.  A dream.  Just another dream.

TWENTY TWO

Derrick’s already gone.  He must have left while I was sleeping.  I’m thankful nothing took place between us and that he wasn’t pushy like he was before.  The dream had felt so real.  I could literally feel the presence of Ethan, Derrick and Kim outside in the forest.  Their emotions were so strong.  It’s amazing how real and clear my dreams have become.  Seeing Ethan brings on so many feelings.  I’m already having a difficult time staying away from him; all I can do is think of him.  I imagine his scent and touch – his body holding me tight, flying me high into the sky with his black silken wings expanded behind him, looking down on the earth and feeling like it’s only the two of us.  His embrace warms my body and I feel secure but I won’t be able to feel his touch or have his strong arms around me until I can learn to either deal with how I see him now or figure out these powers and save him from the darkness.  Derrick is helpful but I can’t fully trust him, I need to speak to Avarie.  I need her guidance, she can teach me to use my powers to fight the evil inside a Fallen Angel.  I have a feeling that I don’t have a lot of time to figure this out.  I know that Derrick doesn’t want me helping Ethan but I need to figure out why he’s helping me if he knows that the reason I’m doing all of this is for Ethan.  It can’t just be that he likes me.  I know there’s something more to it and Avarie may have the answer.  She seems to have known Ethan a long time; maybe she’ll know something about the dispute between the two Fallen Angels.  I need to find out what Derricks true intentions are.  He’s an Angel, so I know it can’t be evil or bad.  I can’t deny I need his help but I do want another person around to give me some insight into their history and the other Fallen Angels/Demons that are out there.  So I grab my cell phone to give her a call. 

“Hello!
Avarie, it’s me Lindsay.  I was hoping I could come by and see you today.  I have some questions that I would like to discuss with you if that is alright.”

“Lindsay!  Of course!  You have been on my mind the last couple of days.  I was hoping that you would call me.”

“Oh really?  Well I guess I’m just looking for some girl advice that my normal friend probably couldn’t give me.”

“I’m home all day today so come on over whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay I’ll see you soon then.”

As soon as I hang up the phone, I jump in the shower and get myself ready.  I’m desperate to find out more about Ethan and others like him.  I need to know for certain that what I’m doing is the right thing and that I’m not just doing it out of selfishness and my love for Ethan.  Although for me that is reason enough,
which is exactly the problem.  I know I’ll do anything to help Ethan so that I can be with him but I want to make sure that what I’m becoming isn’t hurting anyone or going against any plans that God has set forth.  On top of everything, Avarie’s house is the one place that is peaceful and makes me feel calm and composed.  Thankfully I’m completely recovered from yesterday, I don’t know if I could make it to her house if I still felt the way I felt last night.  The power that I was able to seize and control was amazing and it made me feel invincible when I had it at my fingertips but once I released the elements I felt like my entire body gave out on me.  The elements gave me power but in return they took all the energy I had inside of me with them when they left my body.  I guess I have to pay to use their powers.  It makes sense that nothing is free, not even the energy that surrounding us. 

If you’re going to take something you have to give something in return.  At least that’s how it felt yesterday, Derrick did say that eventually I won’t be weakened at all when using elements.  I take my mom’s car to
Avarie’s and as I pull up to the driveway I see the flowers as beautiful as they were before and the stunning greenery engulfing the outside of her house.  Her entire property feels alive.  As soon as I begin walking up the stone path to her front porch past the yellow and red tulips, the front door bursts open and Avarie comes out.  Her short bright red hair bounces as she walks toward me with her bright green aura and I can see the happiness on her face.  Her skin is fine and smooth and makes her appear almost the same age as me.  It’s amazing that she’s been around for so long.  Her aura glows around her in moving colors of bright emerald green and violet.  She’s absolutely radiant.  I can’t image with how beautiful she is and how much she glows with happiness and life, that Ethan never had feelings for her.  With her presence alone, she can calm a room and bring good vibes.  I immediately feel relief and secure when she puts her arms around me in an embracing hug. 

“Lindsay, I’m so glad you came.  I’ve wanted to meet with you but with the big shock and all from the last time we were together I wanted to give you some space for you to gather your thoughts.  I wasn’t sure if you would want to pursue your destiny that has been laid out for you.  Come on inside and we can talk over some hot coffee.” 

With a smile and a nod of my head I follow her into her home.  Everything is the same as it had seemed before.  The bright red couch in the living room where I had awakened to Ethan and the aura that surrounded him was still the same which I would expect.  All of her trinkets filled her hall.  There are plants at every corner thriving and full of life.  All of my concerns and worries about Ethan and Derrick and the other Fallen Angels have suddenly lifted off my shoulders and I have the feeling that with her by my side everything is going to work out as it should.  She walks me to the red couch where I take a seat.

“Let me go get the coffee, and then you can tell me all about what
you’re feeling with your new found abilities.”  Before I can respond she leaves the room and heads toward the kitchen.  She comes back quickly with a tray that has two cups and some creamer on the side. 

“Here you go.  So how are you feeling?” 

I grin at her, filled with delight.  “Actually, now that I’m here with you I feel really well.  I’ve been kind of stressed about Ethan.  I don’t know how much you know about me but not only am I seeing people’s auras, I can see what they really are.  Or at least I can see what’s inside of Ethan.  When I look at him, all I see is the evil inside.  I can’t tolerate it and so I’ve stayed away from him ever since.  I’m staying away from him until I can figure out how to rid him of the evil that’s inside of him.” 

“I think that’s best.  He came here the other day asking me for advice about you,” she responds. 

“He came to you?”  Afraid of feeling like I’m sounding jealous I rephrase my question.  “I mean, what kind of advice was he looking for?”  Hopefully I don’t sound too ridiculous.

“Well he was concerned that you’re not going to accept your abilities and end up turning away from him for good.  He also has concerns about Derrick helping you.  I advised him that you’re following the path that was put in front of you and no matter which direction you decide to go it will happen because that is what’s meant to be.  There’s nothing him or I or anyone else can do to force you to redeem those who have become demons.  It’s all up to you.  I told him that all we can do is give you what information we have and help you see how things may be affected by what you do,” she says.  

“One thing that I’m certain of is that I’m in love with him and my motives are to save him from that demon living inside of him.  When I see him now though, I can’t help but be afraid.  I see how everything is hurting him.  I know that he’s done horrible things to survive but when I look at him I know deep down that not only does he want redemption but his soul truly deserves it.  He cannot be the angel that he was created to be until I get rid of the demon in him.”

“Good.  I’m glad to hear that, and no matter your motives now I know that you will see the importance for saving the Fallen who have become demons when the time comes and you will want to continue your destiny with others out there like him.  It’s Derrick that concerns me.”

She has my attention “What do you mean?  He’s an angel, and even if his direction is different than mine, I don’t think he would do anything to hurt me.” 

“You see, Lindsay, everyone’s definition of evil is different.  I’ve been around a long time, and not only do I know Ethan and those like him, but I also know Derrick and his history.  He may be an
angel, but he does not believe in the destiny of the redeemer.  He believes that your powers are to be used to kill the demons still living on earth.  You see, you have the ability to save them but you also have the ability to take the life from them indefinitely.  Derrick feels that the demons do not have the ability of good anymore.  Since they chose the other side, evil has taken over.  He doesn’t see that evil is an object; he sees the evil as who they are.”