Fallen Desire (24 page)

He smiles, “Now we practice.”  I ball up my fist and close my eyes and can feel all the elements within me giving me incredible power.  I pull in those energies and direct all of it toward my hands as I lift my hands out in front of me directly at a tree and open my eyes imagining the demon that is inside Ethan, and I release all of the energy and a huge surge of power comes from the palms of my hands and a blue surge of light soars straight at the tree and completely vaporizes it.  The tree is literally gone, and I feel all the energy of the elements come back inside my body and fill me with the full power once again. 

“I know now that you are the redeemer, I never expected for you to be able to control that much energy in your first try.  This is amazing, Lindsay.  Let’s try it again, but this time I want you to use your power to bring that tree back to life.  Give it the energy from the earth and give it life.  You can use the energy from the elements to pass on life.” 

Without really thinking too much about it, I close my eyes and ball my hands up into fists at my sides and concentrated on the energy from the Earth, Fire, Water and Air that is still flowing powerfully inside of me and imagine the energy flowing from my hands to the now empty space where the tree was just moments ago.  As I move my hands out in front of me I can see and feel the energy move from my body and into the empty space where I obliterated the tree and with my eyes closed I see the tree growing from a seed into an old beautiful tree like the others in the forest.  I open my eyes and see that the empty space is now filled again with new life.  A new tree!  Not the same one that I had destroyed but a new healthier tree is now in front of me. 

“Wow, this is so awesome Derrick.”  I couldn’t help but let the excitement show in my voice.  If I can create a tree out of nothing imagine what else I can do.  “Can you imagine what kinds of things I can do with this power?”

“Yes Lindsay the power that you have is beyond anything I could ever create.  This is what your soul was designed to do.  You’ll need a lot of
practice, it’ll wear on your body.  This is good for today.  Let’s give our thanks to the elements before we finish here.  When you’re done with any chants you need to always remember to give thanks when releasing the elements from your control.” 

Without thinking it through I begin to give thanks to each element one by one, I really don’t want to stop now but I won’t argue;

“Earth, I give thanks for lending me you
r power of life and never ending energy, I release you.”
 

I can feel the energy of the earth move from my head down to my feet and back into the ground below me. 

“Air, thank you for lending me your smooth flow of energy which allows me to put life back into that or those that are deserving, I release you.”
 

I feel my breath being taken out of me but not harshly and only for a split second and then a gush of wind rushes and blows around me and up into the sky above. 

“Fire that lights the way and keeps us warm.  Thank you for lending me your energy and power, I release you.” 

I can feel heat move from the inside of me and out through my fingertips.

“Water, thank you for lending me your ability to move the energies through your waves and have such great force, I release you.”
 

I can smell the scent of the ocean and feel the wet of the water on my skin and the energy of water withdrew from me. 

I fall down to the ground to my knees and take a deep breath.  It didn’t seem like I really did enough to feel so tired but I guess Derrick’s right – it takes a lot of energy out of you.   While I still had the elements inside of me I had their power to keep me feeling strong and as soon as I released them I feel the immediate onset of weakness. 

“You okay, Lindsay?  I know it’s a lot and that’s why we have to practice a little at a time and build up your strength so that you can use your abilities without it killing you afterwards.”

“Killing me?  What do you mean?  I just feel tired that’s all.” 

He looks at me with concern, “Yes, but you only did a little bit of magic, and if you were to do too much the energy alone that is taken from you will kill you if you aren’t prepared.  We need to build up your strength to the point that you can do an endless amount of magic without it affecting you.”

I don’t really know what to say.  I would stand up and show that I’m not weak, but I am and I can’t even get to my feet.  Derrick automatically reaches down and lifts me like I was as light as a feather and cradles me in his arms and walks the whole way back to my house.  His shirt smells like the ocean and fresh bloomed flowers on an early spring morning, and I can’t help but bury my face into his chest
and close my eyes dreaming of him holding me like this forever, his arms are long and muscular and his body is filled with warmth.  He’s beyond comforting.  He is incredible.  I could have never done any of this without him.

TWENTY ONE

Ethan

I can’t take watching them – watching him helping her, knowing that he’s only helping her for his own benefit.  I know that the only reason she could possibly feel attraction toward him is because of what he is, and he like the rest of us just naturally have that effect on humans.  But she isn’t human.  She’s more than human, much more.  Is it possible that she may be having true feelings for Derrick?  I know I could help her too and I would truly have her best interests in mind.  He could kill her pushing her the way he is.  Bringing a tree back after destroying it!  Putting life back into something takes so much strength, it could kill her, no wonder she couldn’t stand up once she was done.  I know I have to stay away from her until I can see that she truly wants me near her.  I don’t want to see her frightened the way she was the last time I saw her.  That isn’t how I want her to see me.  I hate the demon that lives inside of me.  I hate the way it makes me feel and that I have to be at war with the evil every minute to keep myself from being consumed by it once again.  I won’t let it happen, not now that I have Lindsay in my life to lead me in the right direction. 
The direction of redemption.  I refuse to let her out of my sight and I’ll continue to stay close until I can feel that she needs me again.  I refuse to allow Derrick to keep her from me.  Lindsay has so much power in her hands she has no idea what she controls.  She’s stronger than any Angel or Demon alive.  Her abilities are much like a witch’s but they’re so much stronger.  Once she masters the use of the elements and sees what that energy can do, I know she will choose the right path and help those who need it.  She will use her powers for what they were created for.  She will redeem those who have fallen and chosen the path of evil but wish to come back to the right side. 

Not that the right side doesn’t have its pitfalls, but we will no longer have to succumb to the demon and will have the ability to live without constant sin.  Kim is close to her and she will watch over Lindsay.  Even though Kim doesn’t like me, I know that she won’t let him harm her.  I need to make sure that Derrick doesn’t do anything stupid and abuse what Lindsay has been given.  She’s extremely fragile in this time of training and needs to take it slowly.  Rushing will only cause her to become ill or possibly something worse.

Lindsay

“Derrick, I’m so tired and actually feel really weak; would you mind just staying with me for a little bit?  I can’t believe the day has past by so fast and it is already five.  I haven’t eaten a thing, and my parents will probably be home soon.  Maybe we can take some food to my room, and you could keep me company?”  I know it probably isn’t the best idea to be alone with him but I don’t really have any energy and I don’t want to be
by myself right now.  It will feel nice to have someone by my side for comfort.  I know I’m going to have some hard training coming my way and Derrick helps me calm my mind and body.  As much as I hate to admit it, he almost fills the hole that Ethan leaves when he’s not around. 

“How about I get us some pizza, and you go lay down?” 

“Sounds good to me!”  As Derrick moves out the door and closes it behind him, I throw myself down on the couch without thinking and start to feel how much the magic took out of me today.  My whole body is hurting like I just came back from the hardest workout in my life, and I feel like I haven’t slept for days. 

I close my eyes and work on clearing my mind in order to be able to relax a little, but as soon as my eye lids shut I see Ethan – but not the way I’ve seen him before.  He has more concern and worry on his face than I’ve ever seen.  I can see him hovering in the air in a forest.  I can see him through the opening in the trees.  I get an image that almost seems like it’s from his point of view and I see Derrick and me in the forest.  I see the blue burst coming from my hands and destroying the tree that stood in front of me.  Derrick’s face reveals astonishment and then he gets a small grin and I know he’s pleased.  I feel a huge wave of guilt overtake me and realize that I’m feeling Ethan’s anguish.  He was watching us out there today.  How is it that I can connect with him – and not just him but an earlier vision of what he was seeing and feeling? 

“I’m back with the food!”  I hear Derrick’s voice. 

I jump from the couch.  “Sorry, you frightened me.  That was fast!”  Derrick is hovering over me, and I almost knock the pizza from h
is hands if it weren’t for him moving back so quickly. 

“Well, I do fly you know,” he said with the slightest grin on his face.  “But still I didn’t expect you to be back so soon doesn’t it take a while for the pizza to cook?” 

His eyebrows crease, “I was gone for 25 minutes!” 

“I must have fallen asleep or something because it felt more like five.”  I shake my head slowly trying to clear my mind. 

“You okay Lindsay?” 

“Yeah, I’m just really tired and weak.  My body hurts all over like I just completed a marathon.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have had you try something so hard.  I guess I just got carried away watching you take on the elements so easily your first try.  I’m sorry, Lindsay, it’s my fault.  I should have been more careful with you.  I can stay here and help you with whatever you need till you feel better.”

“That would be great, and actually if you can start out with getting me a plate with some pizza that would help a lot.”  As Derrick shakes his head, he responds with a yes and walks to the kitchen.  I notice how his glow has dimmed slightly.  The white almost appears faded.  I wonder if that has to do with the emotions he’s feeling.  I can sense his guilt, probably since I’m not doing well after our little training today.  It was nice to finally eat something.  I was so hungry I ended up eating three slices of pizza. 

“So you need me to carry you up to your room or do you think you can make it?” he says once we’ve finished. 

“Normally this would be my opportunity to show how I don’t depend on others, but I’m really sore and I don’t think I can even lift a leg from this couch.”  The way my body is hurting I know that if I attempt to stand my legs will give out on me. 

“That’s what I thought.”  Derrick cradles me in his arms just like how he held me all the way back here from the forest.  His hold is gentle and warm.  I can feel my heart race when I take in his sweet scent.  As I lay my face on his shoulder my lips brush his neck slightly but close enough that it gives me chills of desire down my spine.  Resisting Derrick has been hard in the past and is still hard especially now as he’s holding me so close that our bodies feel perfect pressed together.  I know that it has to be his angelic qualities that make me feel this way.  Thinking of Ethan helps me fight these desires.  Ethan’s the reason I’m having Derrick help me and the reason I’m so dang sore right now.  This is all for Ethan!  He lays me gently on my bed and covers me with my favorite red and brown throw blanket my dad had gotten for me from one of his business trips last year.  Derrick’s lips softly touch my forehead with the most gentlest of kisses.  Again the chills come rushing through my body. 

“Why don’t you get some rest, Lindsay?  If you like I can wait in here with you just to make sure you fall asleep okay.” 

I smile and reply, “That would be great but I do know my parents will be home soon so if you don’t mind hiding or something when they get here?”  That’s the last thing I need right now. 

“Anything to just be able to stay in here with you,” he replies.  As soon as I go to shut my eyes a quiet knock is at my bedroom door. 

“Lindsay? Are you in there?”  I turn back from looking at the door and where Derrick had been standing to the left of me there was now nothing. 

“Yeah Mom, I’m just lying down.”  Emptiness!   Just the curtain on my window is blowing in the slight wind from the window being opened. 

“Hey honey.  Sorry we got home so late.  I called the house but you didn’t answer so I left a message letting you know we would be getting out of the office a little later.  How was your day?” 

“Good.  I didn’t really do a whole lot today.  Just went for a nice long walk out back and now I’m exhausted and ready for bed.”