Fallen Desire (23 page)

TWENTY

Lindsay

The temperature really cooled overnight, and with my window open, I’m wrapped up like a burrito in my blanket, still shivering.  I really hope that this sky clears and gives me some sunshine.  Summer is supposed to be sunny not all gray, cloudy and cold.  I get up to close my window and notice that the sky is clear and not cloudy like yesterday.  Maybe today will be nice after all. 

“Lindsay!  You awake?”

“Yes, Mom.
  Come on in.”  As she walks in my bedroom door, I notice the beautiful silver glow radiating all around her.  She has on her black dress suit with a purple blouse under the jacket and her hair is tightly pulled up into a perfect bun.  I notice my list of the aura colors on my desk and peek over to see that silver is a sign of abundance in spiritual and physical.  This definitely fits her since she works so hard for everything that she has but is filled with love and everything always seems to work in her favor.  I see people so differently now.  It’s like their inner beauty shines on the outside.  I can truly see them for who they are, and my mom is a beautiful soul. 

“Just wanted to let you know your father and I are heading off to work.  Sorry we have been gone so much lately.  The firm has been really busy which means more time at the office.”  My father walks in behind her, dressed in his suit with his briefcase in hand and ready to go.  He has an orange yellow glow surrounding him which I know is a sign of creativity, intelligence and detail-oriented, w
hich total describes my dad.  His attention to detail is what has gotten him to where he is today in the law firm. 

“Good morning sweetie!  How are you this morning?”  He asks.

“Good Dad.”  His morning hugs are always so comforting and nice, but this morning my heart melts in his embrace. 

“We’ve got to head out.  You enjoy your day and don’t get into too much trouble.”  I feel like recently I’ve been alone in everything and it feels good to get comfort from my parents even if they don’t know what’s going on with me. 

“I promise Daddy, I won’t.”  I’m feeling relieved that my mom hasn’t asked me about the job yet because I really don’t like having to lie.  She has been really busy with work and probably hasn’t even thought about it, which I hope she doesn’t think about it.  I just don’t know if I have the energy to try and lie to her right now.  My mom hugs me then they both leave with a soft shut of my bedroom door.  I shut my window and plop back down on my bed face first.

Now that I sort of have the auras down and what they mean, I really need to learn some abilities or magic.  I’m actually not really sure what to even call it.  I think I was lying face down for about fifteen minutes with thoughts running through my head of Ethan and me out in the open sky with his firm arms holding onto me tightly.  His soft lips keep running through my mind and they feel incredibly soft against mine.  Oh how I miss him, his smell, and his touch.  I know I can’t see him right now; he won’t come unless I call on him.  I’m not even sure how to do that but I guess he’ll know when I need him.  I’m really hoping that Derrick shows up today.  I need to keep moving forward and to keep learning something every day because the more time that passes the more I’m missing Ethan, eventually I won’t be able to take staying away from him anymore.  I do need to take a shower, though, and get myself ready. 

As soon as I step out of the shower and pull my hair back into a ponytail, I hear a noise in my room.  I always keep open the door to the bathroom, which is connected to my bedroom.  It almost sounded like something crashing on the floor.  I grab my towel and wrap it around my body.  It’s almost too small; it barely covers my breasts and upper thighs.  I peak my head around the corner but don’t see anyone or anything that looks out of place so I move out into the room and as soon as I’m in sight of my window I see Derrick standing here.  His dark hair flows from the small breeze coming from the window and his blue eyes are glued to me.  He has his wings out and tucked slightly behind his back.  I think I know where people got the phrase ‘He looks like an angel from heaven’; I’m stunned by his unbelievably gorgeous appearance.  “Jeez Derrick, don’t you knock?”  Thrown off by the emotions surging through me, I begin to feel annoyed.  I hate that he makes me feel this way.

“Sorry.  I got the sensation that you needed me but from here it looks you’re doing pretty well.”  His eyes move from my head to my toes. 

I automatically blush having the feeling that I’m exposing way too much in this tiny towel.  How could I not?  I have this gorgeous Angel standing in front of me admiring
my
body.  I don’t even get that many humans looking at me the way he does.  I definitely don’t hate it, though.  It makes my stomach clench in pleasure.  “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to seeing you with huge angel wings coming out from behind you,” I say.  As soon as I say it, his wings are gone, and he’s pulling out a white T-shirt that he had tucked in the back of his pants and puts it on. 

“Is that better?”  He asks.

I didn’t really mean for him to put them away.  They are just so overwhelmingly stunning, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to seeing him like that.  “I guess.  I really just meant that it’s different for me.” 

“I don’t want to do anything that
makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“Don’t worry about that, I don’t think I can ever feel uncomfortable around you.”  Maybe a little bit shy lately as he continues to come onto me, but I don’t want to tell him that.  Again he’s illuminated by this beautiful white glow all around him and the most brilliant of blues edging the outside of his aura.  It’s truly an amazing sight. 

“I came by in hopes that we could spend the day together,” he says.  “I have this book that was given to me a long time ago by a witch and it has the spells in it that belong to the Redeemer.  As you know I don’t feel that Ethan or anyone else like him can be saved, but I do want to help you learn your abilities.  I’ll leave you be so that you may get ready, and then I would like you to meet me outside.  We will head to the opening within the forest where it is private and we can begin with some simple practices of using the elements around you to gain control and the power that lies within you.” 

Before I can say okay, he turns around, pulling his shirt back off and placing it in the back of his pants and is out the window, wings expanded and gone up into the air.  I wonder if he becomes invisible to others around when he’s flying like that.  I would think that someone would eventually spot him.  I know Ethan has that ability but he says it uses a lot of his energy.  Guess I’ll throw on my jeans and T-shirt with my grey hoodie and my black Converse.  I don’t really like Derrick seeing me when I’m not put together so I put on a little mascara and makeup.  No matter what I do, I can’t deny the attraction that I feel for him.  When I’m with him all I can see is him and all thought of Ethan tends to drift away.  I have to try my best to not let that happen, no matter how compelling he seems to be.  He’s standing by the creek that runs in the back just glowing white and blue.  He definitely is an angel, and I see him so clearly now for who he is, just like I see Ethan.  My stomach knots at the images of the demon within him and the desire it had for me.  The weather is still chilly today but seems to be getting a little warmer, and there’s no rain, thank goodness.  The woods are particularly noisy today with the wind blowing the leaves and branches all around.  Derrick is silent the whole way to the clearing.  I focus on the nature around me to keep myself calm though I can’t help but be nervous about trying my first spell.  As soon as we enter the clearing we stand in the middle and let the ancient trees encircle us.  He opens the book, going straight to the page he wants.  The book is old and a battered brownish color with nothing on the cover, no title,
no picture absolutely nothing to distinguish it.   I can see the pages inside are delicate and stained with age. 

“Lindsay, there’s a spell in here that I want you to try.  You’ll be pulling in power from all of the elements and you’ll be able to gain their energy and use it.  Don’t worry if you don’t get the hang of it right away.  It takes a lot of concentration and practice for even the most gifted of witches and it will take a lot of energy out of you once we’re done here.” 

I don’t feel ready but, “Okay.  I’m ready to give anything a try.”   I thought if I said it I would feel better but I feel my hands begin to shake and sweat.  This is all so foreign to me and the last thing I want to do is end up hurting myself or worse someone else. 

“Don’t be nervous.  The only damage you can do is to the trees around us.  Let’s begin, I want you to put your full energy and mind into the words that you repeat.  Imagine the earth coming up from the ground in through your feet and becoming a part of you, imagine the wind moving your body and wrapping around you like a blanket.  Think about the ocean or a river covering your body and sinking into you and finally think of the flames of a fire and feel the burn of it on your skin.  I want you to embrace these elements and take them all in as a part of you.  So do as I say and repeat after me.”  I look at him and nod my head and then close my eyes.

“We will begin with earth.  Please face the direction of north.”  I wasn’t really sure which way was north, and I would ask, but he touches my shoulders gently turns me to a specific direction.  “Now repeat after me: 

“Earth below my feet, trees that surround me lend me your energy and show me your power.   Give me your strength and guide me so that I may reach my destiny.   I wish to use my powers to assist those who are in need”.

While repeating Derrick’s words, I begin to feel the earth move below my feet, and then I feel this jolt or surge like energy rush from my feet to my head as if the earth’s energy is running through me.  I can imagine the rain forest that was in the room at Avarie’s house and seeing everything with brilliant color and moving all around me and my body moving in tune with nature.  “Now Lindsay, I’ll turn you to the east.”  He gently places his hands on my shoulders again and moves me in the necessary direction. 

“Air that surrounds me day and night and gives me life, I ask you to lend me your power and energy.  To guide me in my destiny and give me the ability to help those who are in need”

As soon as I begin saying the words back to Derrick, the air gushes around me, forcing my hair straight up to the sky swirling in the wind.  I take in a deep breath and feel the energy of the air consume my lungs.  Without speaking, Derrick puts his hands on me again and moves me so that I’m facing south.  Again I repeat his words:

“Fire I call upon you and your heated flame to give me the ability to create the power within me so that I may physically produce a flame of pure energy.  So that I may help those in need.”

The heat in my body is coming from the inside out to my skin, and I can feel myself burning up, but it doesn’t hurt.  I feel this energy ignite inside of me that gives me this overwhelming sensation of power and heat.  I have this sensation as if I could produce flame from my hands at this moment if I tried but without opening my eyes I take in the feeling and imagine a flame forming from my hands and circling around me completely in my control. 

The energies of the elements continue to flow within me, and then Derrick turns me one last time and faces me toward the west: 

“Water that consumes most of this earth and holds energy beyond belief I ask help of you in giving me the power to control all the elements together.  I need to obtain my full potential so that I may help those in need.  Please provide me with your soothing flow when needed and your quick and hard power as well when necessary”

I know that there’s no water in the forest at this time, but I feel like I just stepped out of the pool from a swim.  As I say the words back to Derrick, I feel water falling from my head to my feet, and I can imagine myself in the middle of a storm in the ocean with water splashing at all sides of me but again I’m in full control of it.

I’ve never felt anything before like taking in the elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water.  As soon as I feel the sensations of the elements subsiding, I begin to open my eyes and see Derrick standing right in front of me.  “Wow!  This is amazing!”  I can’t begin to articulate how I’m feeling right now. 

“Were you able to feel all of the elements?  Most witches usually only feel one at the very most on their first attempt, so don’t feel bad if you were not able to take in the energy of all four.”

“Are you kidding me?  I feel all the elements as if they are right here in front of and inside of me.  I can feel the earth moving and the fire burning inside of me.  I feel the air fill my lungs and swirl around me rapidly.  The water is powerful.  I saw myself inside the ocean in the middle of a storm and was in complete control of the water surrounding me.” 

He looks at me incredulously, “I can’t believe it!  I don’t think this has ever happened.  I mean I know you’re more powerful than a witch, but for you to be able to take on all four elements at once in your first attempt is incredible.” 

I’m so anxious to start using what’s inside me I can barely contain myself.  “Okay, so what do we do now?”