Falling From Disgrace (18 page)

T
he sun was just beginning to rise when Jack woke up the next morning.  Exhausted from the little sleep he had, he rubbed at his eyes and then closed them again, trying unsuccessfully to get a few more hours of rest.  He rolled over and his stomach tightened in guilt when he saw Adrianna lying there.  When she returned to their bedroom the night before, he had actually pretended to be sleeping.  He knew it was a shitty thing to do and he rightfully felt shitty about it, but he really didn’t want to do any talking last night.  It was barely evening when they went to bed and so he listened while Adrianna tossed and turned and then finally pulled out her phone to play with.  When she did fall asleep, he got up, showered, and then tossed and turned himself for most of the night.  Turning towards Adrianna again, he fixed his bleary eyes on her and reached out to smooth his thumb across her cheek.  She looked like a dark haired angel with cheeks pink with warmth and black lashes fanned across them.  She was wearing a new piece of lingerie she had purchased for herself after they started spending the night together.   The lavender camisole and shorts with black lace trim looked lovely against her pale skin.  God, he really loved her. 

In slumber, Adrianna’s eyes scrunched up with a fearful expression and her breathing became erratic.  Trying to ease her from the nightmare she must have been having, Jack scooted closer and put his arm around her, lightly rubbing her back.  His action had the opposite effect though, and upon being touched Adrianna’s body jerked and she curled inwardly on herself with an incoherent cry.  Jack rubbed her back with more pressure and tried to wake her by calling her name quietly, but Adrianna was too deeply involved in her dream.  Her body trembled more violently and she clawed at the sheets, crying out once again in distress.  It finally took Jack grabbing her wrists and shouting out, “Adrianna!” for her eyes to shoot open and then search wildly around the room. 

Adrianna pulled herself up into a sitting position and struggled to breathe while hot tears burned her cheeks.  She wiped at her face hastily and then brought her knees up to rest her forehead against them while she gasped for breath.

“You’re okay,” Jack repeated over and over while he sat up next to her and continued to stroke her back.  Adrianna nodded against her knees and then let Jack pull her so she was enveloped in his arms. 

“It was just a nightmare,” she said out loud though she was really reassuring herself.  Her tears had stopped but she wiped at her eyes again anyway to wake herself up more.

“What was it about?”  Jack tickled the exposed skin between her shoulder blades with his fingers. 

“It was nothing,” Adrianna whispered, not wanting to disturb Jack with what her subconscious had drawn up.

“Tell me,” Jack insisted.  “You might feel better.”

With a sigh Adrianna shared, “We were walking, outside on the street or something.  Then all of a sudden the ground opened up, like a sinkhole, only it was gushing this thick, black liquid; like tar.  You were safe at the edge but I started drowning in it and you tried to pull me free but you couldn’t.”  She shuddered with the memory of being engulfed by the suffocating goo. 

Hearing about Adrianna’s dream reminded Jack of his sister’s accusations the night before and he felt his mood plummet.  Damn, Gillian.  His fingers continued to caress Adrianna’s back but he said nothing, too lost in his own thoughts.  When he was quiet for too long, Adrianna shifted and brought her head up to look at Jack.  She saw the look on his far away face and she didn’t like it.  This was why she didn’t want to share her dream with him.  He didn’t need something else to worry about.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” she dismissed lightly.  Jack looked down on her with a half smile.  “Anyway, I have some news about the interview.”

Jack brought his free hand up to his forehead and squeezed, thinking himself a fucking idiot.  “I can’t believe I forgot to ask you about that.  I’m so sorry, Ade, how did it go?”

Smiling, Adrianna informed, “I got the job.”

Elated at her news, Jack pulled her up to kiss her firmly on the mouth.  “That’s fantastic!  Now will you tell me what it is?”

“I am the new school nurse at Oakwood Elementary school.  It’s near Glenview, not too far from the city.”

Grinning widely, Jack kissed her again.  Her news really did lift his spirits.  He was so proud of her and relieved that she had found something that would make her happy.  She wasn’t a pediatrician but she’d be working with and taking care of children.  He listened while she told him about meeting the principal of the school who was a young man with small children of his own.  Adrianna shared the information that she had taken the last four years to recover from her accident and Mr. Wendrick had listened with a sympathetic ear.  He liked Adrianna’s enthusiasm about caring for children and he told her so.  Then he said that as long as her personal references checked out, the job was hers.  Adrianna had listed Heather and Jack on her resume so there wouldn’t be any problems.

“The pay sucks but the hours are great and I’ll have summers off,” Adrianna revealed happily.  “And I’ll get to work with kids.”

“That’s wonderful, Rizzo,” Jack beamed.  “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Kenickie,” she grinned back, feeling a little like she was a child and Jack was an adult.  But Adrianna guessed in ways she was immature.  She did just land her first job ever.  And Jack was six years older than her.  Now she worried if Jack felt like he was often taking care of a child.  Not wanting to damper the mood, however, she dismissed the idea quickly.

“What was Rizzo’s real first name?” she challenged with a wink.

Jack thought on it for a minute and then shrugged in defeat.  “I have no idea.”

“Oh, bonus point goes to me,” Adrianna crowed.  “It was Betty.”  When Jack smirked down at her she noticed he still looked a little sad.  “Are you okay?” she asked, reaching up to caress his jaw.  Jack just nodded.

“What time is the funeral?”

“Eleven,” Jack told her.  Stretching for his cell phone next to the bed he looked at the time.  “Which means we have enough time to get ready and then go out for breakfast to celebrate your new job.  Come on, let’s get up.”

Chapter 13

A
drianna shifted in the passenger seat of Jack’s Challenger, her back stiff from being seated for almost three hours.  It was late Wednesday night and Adrianna had dropped her car off at the rental company close to Jack’s father’s house so that she could ride back to the city with him.  They had attended the funeral on Tuesday and then Jack spent the day searching through his father’s papers for things that needed to be handled right away.  He had the utilities switched into his own name, got fax numbers to send copies of the death certificate to, and spoke with his dad’s power of attorney to go over death benefits.  Jonathan Senior didn’t have much of an insurance policy but it would be enough to cover the expenses of the funeral.

Adrianna didn’t leave Jack’s side once on Tuesday, holding his hand during the service and at the gravesite at the cemetery.  It was the first funeral she had attended; she had still been in the hospital when Rachel was buried, and Adrianna was extremely uncomfortable but she showed no signs of it, determined to be strong for Jack’s sake.  Though he didn’t cry, she could tell he was full of grief by his posture, his expression, and his silence.  Only when he was greeting a relative or introducing them to Adrianna did he speak more than one word at a time. 

Adrianna had met Jack’s mother, who was a lovely woman.  She hugged Adrianna warmly and when they said goodbye she made Jack promise to bring her back for a proper visit soon.  In his mother, Adrianna saw where Jack had gotten his kindness and good heart from.  His looks, too.    Roseann Lokinski had the same blue eyes and dark hair as her son. 

Leaning forward in her seat to stretch, Adrianna reached around to try to massage the ache in her lower back.  In addition to being immobile for the last three hours, she hadn’t gotten much exercise in the last two days and she was feeling the effects.  She couldn’t wait to get home and utilize the fitness ball Jack had gotten her.

“Do you need me to stop?” Jack asked, moving Adrianna’s hand out of the way and replacing it with his own.  He dug his fingers into her muscles deeply, just like Adrianna needed.  She moaned at the relief.

“No, it’s okay, we’re almost home,” she replied.

Jack continued to massage her back while he stared at the road ahead of them.  He didn’t speak again and Adrianna wished she knew what to say to distract him from his thoughts.  She had tried several times to strike up conversations with him at the beginning of the car ride, but he shot down every attempt with a one word answer.  Though she felt glum at being so useless, she told herself that after a few days Jack would be okay.

When they arrived at Adrianna’s apartment Jack parked and carried her bag to her door.  He didn’t go in though and left the bag on the floor at her entryway. 

“You’re not coming in?” she asked with disappointment.

“I’ve gotta get back to my place,” Jack explained.  “Check on the bar.”

Adrianna nodded.  “Do you want to come back later?” 

Jack’s eyes wrinkled and his head tilted to the side as he gently told her, “I think I’m gonna stay in tonight.  Is that okay?”

Adrianna hid the hurt she felt when he didn’t invite her to his place.  She put a smile on her face and told him it was fine. 

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said and then kissed her goodnight.

“
M
en don’t know how to deal with grief,” Heather offered, sitting at her kitchen table with Adrianna as they spoke over coffee.  “Men are comfortable with three emotions:  horny, hungry, and tired.  Anything else throws them completely out of whack.”

Adrianna laughed, thinking Heather was spot on in her analysis.  Jack had called her that morning but to tell her he was going to be busy dealing with more of his father’s affairs.  He was also working at the bar open to close and he didn’t say if he would see Adrianna after.  She didn’t ask, either.  Instead she spent the day shopping for scrubs, which she would be wearing at her new job, and though she had until September before she actually started, she was still excited about working soon.  After having dinner in front of her television alone, she went across the hall to pay a visit to Heather.

She had explained the whole ordeal with Jack’s father passing away and how his behavior had changed drastically.  Though she was still was hopeful that after just a little time they would be okay, she still was unhappy about him being so distant.

“I don’t know,” she sighed.  “I feel like he’s slipping away and I hate that I can’t help him like he helped me.”

Heather studied Adrianna for a minute and smiled.  Gone was the haunted look she always had in her eyes and though she had been sitting for almost twenty minutes, she wasn’t fidgeting every few seconds. 

“He has helped you, hasn’t he?” Heather mused. 

“In more ways than you could possible imagine,” Adrianna admitted. 

Heather’s six-year-old, Trevor entered the kitchen and Adrianna smiled.  He had blonde hair but his mother’s freckles and she thought about how she would be working with children his age soon.  The idea made her anxious for September.

“Mommy, can I have some juice?” he asked and Heather rose from her seat to go to the refrigerator.  Adrianna watched wistfully as her friend handed her son a cup, which he took with a small thank you.  When he finished he handed it back to his mom, who kissed his head and swatted his behind before he scurried back to his room to play.

“I want kids,” Adrianna blurted when Heather returned to the table.

“Really?  Does Jack?” 

“I don’t know,” Adrianna answered.

“You should ask him,” Heather countered.  “Conversations like that are important in serious relationships.”

Adrianna chewed on that.  Last week she wouldn’t have hesitated to ask him that question.  Now, she was afraid it would push Jack farther away from her.  Shaking her head and taking a sip of her coffee, she thought it was not the right time to have that conversation.

J
ack felt relief when he saw Kenny walk through the door at Loki’s Monday just before nine.  Though it was slow, Jack was beyond exhausted from the past five days and was grateful that Kenny was coming in for the last few hours until closing.  All he had done was work and take care of more of his father’s affairs.  He had even driven back down to his house twice only to drive back to the city the same day and go to work.  He had been running on four hours of sleep a night, max, and though he hated to admit it, he was too old for that shit anymore. 

Also, he hadn’t seen Adrianna.

They talked every day but he wanted some distance from her and he used his current hectic life as an excuse not to see her.  Kenny took his post behind the bar and Jack poured himself a few fingers of whiskey, needing to sit down and have a drink before he headed upstairs.

It wasn’t actually that he
wanted
space from Adrianna, he felt he needed it.  His sister’s words were still haunting him and he thought time away from each other would help him to see if she really was wrong.  Over the last five days he overanalyzed their relationship to the point of insanity.  She was okay, and had been for a while now.  She wasn’t using pills, she was managing her back pain, and was seeing a psychiatrist.  Now that she found a job, things would only get better.  So now that she was okay, did he still want her?  Yes.  Did he still love her?  He thought so.  Did he miss her?  God, yes.   Had enough time gone by for him to determine if everything he thought was true?  He wasn’t sure.

Fuck, he thought and slammed back his drink, welcoming the burn the whiskey brought to his stomach.  It certainly felt better than the dread and guilt he had been carrying around there lately.  Pouring himself another measure, he cursed his damned sister.  Why the hell was he listening to her anyway?  It wasn’t like she was insightful or profound; she was a fucking shallow fembot!  He missed Adrianna and wanted to see her and told himself he was an ass for letting Gillian get to him.  As soon as he pulled out his phone to call Adrianna he began to feel better. 

When Adrianna answered he heard a commotion in the background and a male voice speaking before she said, “Hello.”

“Ade?  What’s going on, where are you?”  He strained to hear what the people around her were saying and then he made out something that sounded like, “...need medical attention, ma’am?”

“Adrianna!” he shouted, jumping from his stool and attracting the attention of Kenny and the four other people in the bar.  “Where the fuck are you?”

Adrianna answered whoever was speaking to her with a “no,” and then told Jack, “I’m okay.  I’m outside the Dunkin Donuts on Ohio Street.”  With his heart racing he heard her muffled voice answer more questions with yeses and nos. 

“What happened?” he shouted into the phone again, wishing whoever she was with would shut the fuck up and let her talk to him

“I was mugged, but I’m okay, Jack!”

Cursing and without letting her finish, Jack tore from his bar ignoring the questioning cries of Kenny behind him.  He ran, full speed, the six blocks to get to Adrianna, dodging others on the sidewalk and not caring when he even plowed into someone.  Up head he could see the flashing lights of a police cruiser and he quickened his pace, not even feeling the flames of his burning lungs. 

A small crowd had gathered outside the donut shop and Jack pushed his way through in search of his girlfriend.  He finally spotted her, sitting at a table inside with two cops, sipping from a straw.  Adrianna rose to her feet when she saw Jack enter and immediately tried to alleviate his worry.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” she repeated as he hugged her tightly first and then held her at arm’s length to search for injuries.  His fingers brushed across a bandage on her cheek.  “It’s just a scratch, I’m fine, really Jack.”

Jack clenched his jaw and tried to fight off the rage coursing through him.  His hands shook but he pulled Adrianna tightly to him again and kissed her head, thankful that she was okay.

“What happened?” he finally asked, pulling her away from him again to inspect her one more time.  Adrianna took his hand and guided him to sit down next to her, back across from the police officers.

“Officers Cross and Hurston, this is Jack,” Adrianna introduced.

The two cops, one of them a man who looked to be in his late forties, the other a baby-faced kid who looked about twelve, nodded in acknowledgement towards Jack.

“I’m her boyfriend,” he clarified.  He turned towards Adrianna and asked, “What happened?”

Adrianna took a sip from the cold soda one of the shop employees had kindly provided her with and explained, “I was walking and then all of a sudden someone grabbed me by my shirt from behind.  He pushed me down the alley, shoved me against the wall and pressed something into my back.  It could have been a gun but I didn’t see anything.  He told me to keep my eyes closed and then grabbed my purse and said not to move until I counted to a hundred.  I heard him run off but I did what he said.  When I was done counting I came back out to the street and called nine-one-one.  Luckily, my cell was in my pocket.”

Jack closed his eyes and heaved, swearing he would rip the mother fucker to shreds if he was given the chance.  Adrianna could see Jack was trembling with ire and she scooted closer to him to let him wrap an arm around her shoulder.  “I’m okay,” she repeated once again, looking straight into his burning, blue eyes.

“Is there anything you can tell us that would help to identify your attacker?” the younger officer asked.  “A shirt color, skin color, even what kind of shoes he was wearing?”

Adrianna shook her head and answered, “I’m sorry, but no.  All I saw was a brick wall and then I closed my eyes.  It happened so fast.”

“Well,” the same officer continued, “chances are he’ll just take your cash and then dump the rest but if he has your wallet he’ll have your address.  You’re going to want to change the locks on your doors.”

Adrianna hadn’t thought of that and she tensed with fear.  Jack squeezed her shoulder and said, “She’ll stay with me for awhile until all that is straightened out.”