Falling in Love in New York (27 page)

“Of course I’ll be there. I’m looking forward to it. How are you? Not getting cold feet I hope?”

“Nah, nah, nothing like that. Listen, just a quick call really,” Chris said, his voice growing more serious. “I wasn’t sure whether or not you know this, but I thought I should let you know that Danni’s invited too and as far as I know she’s coming.”

Finn exhaled deeply, not sure how to feel about this. Talk about strange timing!

He hadn’t seen his ex in years; since the break-up they hadn’t crossed paths once, and now just when he’d finally started to get over her and found someone else …

“And not only that,” Chris continued, interrupting his train of thought, “but there’s something else I think you should know …”

Abby once again stared at her reflection in the mirror, more nervous about this wedding than she cared to admit. Not only would she be meeting the majority of Finn’s friends for the very first time, but she’d also be coming face to face with the famous Danielle.

As would Finn.

Well, maybe Abby had nothing to worry about, she thought, sitting on the edge of the bed and fastening the straps of her shoes. Maybe Danielle was small, cross-eyed and overweight and bushy-haired. And seeing as Abby herself was small, fairly overweight and had, well maybe not bushy, but certainly
frizzy
hair, they’d get on like a house on fire. The cross-eyed bit would be the only difference between them and should give Abby a clear advantage over the girl who’d broken her beloved Finn’s heart.

Abby groaned. As if. From what she could gather from Finn, who really didn’t go into too much detail about his ex other than the fact that the relationship had ended two years ago, Danielle liked the more glamorous side of life, which was one of the reasons they’d broken up in the first place.

“Scrambling through fields with a load of excitable puppies just wasn’t her scene,” he’d told Abby during a recent (and rare) discussion about his previous relationship. “She much preferred big city life, going out on the town and socialising till all hours, but with my job that just isn’t feasible.”

Abby could tell by his tone that despite their very obvious differences in personality; Danielle preferring the fast lane, and Finn conversely favouring a quiet life in his country cottage, he had nonetheless cared a great deal for his ex. Unfortunately for him, this alone hadn’t been enough for his ex.

Well, perhaps Abby more than anyone else could understand that feeling, given her own experiences with Kieran.

On the one hand while she was glad that he’d let her know in advance that Danielle would be at this wedding, on the other it made her even more nervous about the day than she would have been otherwise.

“Ready?” Finn asked, popping his head around the bedroom door. She’d stayed over the night before at his house so it would make it easier for them to drop off Lucy at Pat’s before heading straight to the wedding; rather than Finn having to go all the way into town to pick her up beforehand.

“As I’ll ever be,” she replied, exhaling deeply. Thanks to Caroline and their shopping spree, Abby–dressed in her Whistles sequinned skirt, satin bodice top (and her beloved Jimmy Choos)–looked considerably better that she felt.

“This should be fun,” Finn said, as he, Abby and Lucy climbed into the Jeep–and was it her imagination or did he sound somewhat nervous too?

Having dropped off Lucy at Pat’s, they arrived at the church just before one and as they pulled into the car park, Abby was vividly reminded of the last time she’d attended a wedding. She grimaced. Ironically, Kieran’s wedding was something she was able to recall in vivid detail, as emotionally speaking it had been the only major incident in her life before the accident. God, had she really been that much of a lost cause that her only clear memory from back then had been such a depressing one?  

Finn parked the Jeep and the two of them headed towards the front of the church to where some guests were standing outside chatting amongst themselves. They were about to go inside, when they heard a male voice shout from nearby. “Finn Maguire – talk about a blast from the past!”

Finn’s expression broke into a smile, and catching Abby’s hand, he approached a group of men and women standing to the right of the doorway. She gulped, now feeling horribly uneasy about the prospect of meeting Finn’s friends, or worse his ex-girlfriend.

“How are you doing Gerry?” Finn said, shaking the tall, fair-haired guy’s hand as everyone else looked on smiling. “Long time no see.”

“Where have you been hiding?” said another woman, greeting him with a hug and when they’d finished saying their hellos, he turned and introduced them to Abby. To her immense relief, Danielle didn’t seem to be amongst this particular group of friends, and while they all seemed very friendly, she could sense that the women in particular seemed a bit taken aback that Finn had brought someone to this wedding. God had he been
that
heartbroken over his ex? 

When he and his friends had finished catching up and it was time for everyone to go inside, Abby and Finn entered one of the pews on the groom’s side of the church. As they took their seats, she got the distinct impression that he seemed a bit self-conscious, almost as if on the alert for something. Danielle obviously.

God, Abby was almost sorry she’d agreed to come here. If Finn were this on edge now, what would he be like when his ex was actually in the same room?

She could think of little else throughout the ceremony, and while she’d thought her outfit looked fine leaving the house this morning, she now felt dowdy and dated compared to a lot of the other guests here. Evidently, she–despite Caroline’s best efforts–was still pretty green when it came to fashion these days, and in the church there were so many designer labels on show that the wedding could easily have been mistaken for a high-profile footballer’s.

The bride, who she knew was called Melanie, looked beautiful in a fairytale ivory embroidered gown, and as Abby watched the couple take their vows she got a sudden sinking feeling that despite everything, Finn still held a candle for Danielle. Seeing her here today would surely bring the feeling home more strongly. One look at his ex and he’d realise that he’d made a huge mistake in ever thinking he could be with someone else, particularly someone who was as much work as she was. So she might as well try and prepare herself for that.

“Are you OK?” Finn asked, when the ceremony was over and everyone began to pile out of the church and back into the sunshine. “You seem very quiet and – ”

“Hello Finn,” said a throaty female voice from beside them.

It was as if every single one of Abby’s nightmares had come true.

Far from the pudgy, cross-eyed munchkin she’d hoped Danielle would be, instead stood a tall, tanned Helena Christensen look-alike with stunning aquamarine eyes, perfect skin and an even more perfect body, dressed as she was in a wispy chiffon dress whose designer creator Caroline would be able to pinpoint instantly. Abby didn’t care or didn’t need to; Danielle was the kind of woman most designers had in mind for their creations–elegant, classy, sexy–and certainly not short, pale, spare tyre-carrying women like Abby.

Naturally enough, Finn seemed dazed by her appearance; almost as if over time he’d forgotten how truly stunning she actually was.

“Dani, hi, how are you?” he said, leaning over to kiss the former love of his life on the cheek and as he did, Abby thought about just slipping away, grabbing a cab home and forgetting all about him. It wasn’t as though this would be that difficult given the circumstances…

But then he surprised her by turning away from the gorgeous Danielle and reaching for her hand.

“This is Abby,” he said, and despite his efforts she still couldn’t help but feel like a spare part in the middle of the two, so palpable was the history between them.

“Hi,” she said feigning what she hoped was a friendly and confident smile.

“Abby, hello, really nice to meet you,” Danielle said smiling back, and to Abby’s great surprise there was no glance of disdain, nor any looking her up and down with a contemptuous gaze. Instead, Danielle seemed…well she gave the impression of being quite nice actually. “Wow I love your shoes, they’re great with that skirt.”

“Thanks,” For a second, Abby felt oddly proud, but then instantly berated herself for being so gullible as to let a simple compliment about her shoes make her feel better, when she should be terrified of this woman for clearly holding some kind of spell over her boyfriend!

And thinking of it now, Finn didn’t introduce her as his girlfriend either did he? Nope, he simply introduced her by name.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you back at the hotel later?” Danielle was saying, and Finn nodded.

“Sure, looking forward to it.”

I’m sure you are
, Abby thought, her heart freezing as she saw the look on his face as he watched her walk away. She’d been wrong to come to this wedding today, and Finn had been wrong to ask her.

Particularly as any fool alive could tell that he was still in love with the woman who’d broken his heart.

Finn’s stomach gave a little fillip as he watched Danielle walk away. He’d been wrong to come here today, and doubly wrong to have brought Abby. It wasn’t fair on her to have to see this, to witness his coming face to face with Dani for the first time in the two years since she’d left.

She was still as stunning as ever, no doubt about that. Still as graceful and elegant.  Then again, why wouldn’t she be? Looks were everything to Danielle, always had been, which was another reason why she’d found living in the country so difficult and so ‘pointless’ as she used to put it herself.

What was the point of going to all that effort to look amazing when in the country there was no one to admire her, no one to appreciate her fabulous clothes and perfectly styled-hair? No one except Finn and evidently, he didn’t matter.

He’d tried his best, tried to make her feel loved and secure, but Danielle was the kind of woman who could only feel secure if everyone’s eyes were on her.

And right then, she was definitely getting her wish. Notwithstanding the bride who by rights should have had all the attention, Danielle was still the best-looking woman at this wedding by a very long mile. 

“She seems nice,” he heard Abby say from alongside him which quickly brought his mind back to the present and his gaze away from Danielle.

He tried to think of something light-hearted and off-hand to say, something to try and conceal the mixture of emotions he was feeling just then, but nothing came to hand.

“She is,” he said simply, as he and Abby headed back to the jeep and followed the rest of the wedding party out of the church grounds.

“I suppose it must have been a bit of a shock seeing her again like that,” Abby continued, and again Finn couldn’t do anything other than agree.

“It was. I mean… I heard she’d be here of course, but …” Preferring not to talk about it just then, Finn let the remainder of his sentence trail off. 

As they drove to the hotel, Abby grew silent, much to Finn’s relief. Evidently she understood that he wasn’t interested in making idle conversation, and he really appreciated that.

In truth, chit-chat was the last thing Finn wanted just then. He was too busy thinking about his reaction to Danielle and how he was going to get through the rest of the day with her in the same room.

The day was turning into a nightmare for Abby.

Finn had barely said two words on the way to the hotel, and she sensed he was completely preoccupied with Danielle. She was too. When they arrived at the old country hotel where the reception was to be held, she couldn’t really relax until she’d studied the seating plan and discovered that Finn’s ex was mercifully seated at a different table to them.

Even so, it was hard to relax in any case. She really didn’t know any of Finn’s old friends and it was very difficult to get to know them when it was obvious they saw her as something of a curiosity.

“So you might not remember any new things at all unless you make a record of them?” Jayne, one of the wives probed. All the women were left seated together around a table in the lounge while the men were up at the bar.

Abby shifted self-consciously in her seat. Her situation wasn’t easy to explain at the best of times, let alone to a group of strangers.

“Well, I can remember most new things actually,” she replied easily, “but certain things just fade away very quickly.” She gave a rueful smile. “It’s a bit strange I know, but I’ve just had to learn to live with it.” She didn’t elaborate any further, hoping that they’d understand she was kind of uncomfortable talking about it.

“So you might not remember meeting
any
of us here today, unless you decide to write about us?” another woman called Frances said, with a hefty dose of scepticism in her tone.

Abby patiently explained that she’d now got into the habit of sitting down and recounting all the events of that current day into her diary as a kind of back-up for her memory.

“I know it sounds strange,” she said, shrugging awkwardly, “but it works for me, and that’s the important thing.” She went on to explain Hannah’s ‘reinforcement’ theory but could sense that most of it was going right over their heads.

She didn’t mind. Chances were these people weren’t going to play an important part in her life anyway, so there was little point in her trying to make them understand. It had been years since Finn had seen some of these couples, and according to him, it was likely to stay that way.

“I’ve got nothing in common with them anymore,” he’d explained to Abby beforehand. “We used to have a bit of a laugh
when we were younger, but now they’ve all got their own lives and I’ve got mine. I’m only going to this wedding at all because it’s Chris’s, and he’s still a good mate.”

While all the old gang had moved on with marriage and kids, Finn had remained the eternal bachelor. At least until now.

“It must be really tough for Finn though,” Frances persisted and Abby tensed, wishing they could change the subject, and because such a comment had understandably touched a nerve. “To think that you could easily forget all about him just like that.”

“Finn’s not
that
easy to forget!” joked another girl, whose name Abby couldn’t recall. Lyndsay was it? “Abby, I think it’s great that you guys are managing to work it out,” she said, evidently sensing her discomfort. “Finn’s a great guy, and we’re all thrilled to see him happy, aren’t we?”

One of the other girls Jayne, nodded. “Yes, to be honest, after Danni we were all worried he might never…well, you know,” She looked away awkwardly, as if suddenly realising that this might not be the best time to discuss it.

Abby just smiled, unwilling to betray her insecurities.

“Doesn’t she look amazing today though?” Frances sighed. “I couldn’t get over how well she looked at the church earlier.”

“Stunning,” Jayne agreed nodding vigorously. “I don’t know how she does it myself. Every time I see her she looks younger.”

“That dress really suits her too, although I have to say I thought the plunging neckline was a bit much.”

“So soon after the surgery you mean?” Frances enquired, and at this, Abby’s ears pricked up. Hmm…evidently the paragon’s beauty wasn’t completely natural after all! “Yes, but you know Danielle, she always likes to make a statement.”

As the other women continued to sing Danielle’s praises, Abby was surprised they could be so insensitive. Didn’t they understand how uncomfortable all of this would make her feel? It was bad enough having Finn going all gooey-eyed over his ex, let alone his friends rubbing it in about how amazing she looked!

Still, if nothing else, she was glad at least that she’d managed to move the conversation away from herself and her memory problems. She was also relieved that today would be the first, and hopefully last time she’d have anything to do with this shower of gossips. The witches of Macbeth had nothing on these three! She’d noticed instantly the way they’d all scrutinised her appearance outside the church, and the way they applied the same narrow scrutiny to every other female guest at the wedding.

Although to be fair, Lyndsay, Roger’s wife, seemed nice enough and had at least had the decency to try and make Abby feel welcome, but that Frances one seemed a right consequence, and there was clearly some tension between her and the other girl Jayne.

“Well plunging neckline or not, she still looks gorgeous but I’m sure poor Finn got a hell of shock when he saw her and …” Then she stopped short, and it was obvious to Abby that in the hope of shutting her up, one of the others had kicked her under the table.

“I know what you mean,” she said calmly, again trying her best to seem unperturbed, while inwardly wishing the ground would open up and swallow her. “It’s weird for everyone when they bump into an ex after not seeing them for a few years, isn’t it?”

“Yes, yes that’s exactly what I meant.” Frances seemed relieved to have been let off the hook.  “It’s always a big deal…” She took a huge gulp from her wine glass, obviously sorry she’d opened her mouth.

“Well it’s about time!” Lyndsay chided, as the girls’ husbands eventually pulled up seats at the table, Finn having been waylaid by another guest on the way. “ I thought you lot had abandoned us for the day.”

Well, who could blame them?
Abby thought to herself, rather uncharitably.

“Abby, I was just telling Finn I think he really landed on his feet with you,” Frances’ husband, Ray piped up.

She smiled, relieved that at least
one
of Finn’s friends didn’t seem to think he’d made the mistake of his life by walking away from the wonderful Danielle. “Really, why’s that?”

“Because if you two have an argument, unlike the rest of us, he doesn’t have to put up with all the sulking and pouting for days afterwards, does he?”

“Why not?” his wife asked.

Ray chuckled and winked at Abby, clearly delighted by his own wit. “Sure, won’t the whole thing be forgotten about in the morning?”

The rest of the evening passed quickly and without notable incident. After Ray’s cheesy joke (although Abby way preferred this to the incessant questions from his wife), Finn’s friends seemed to shy away from mentioning anything more about her situation and when the group retired to the banqueting room, she discovered to her relief that she and Finn were seated away from the dreaded Frances, and at the opposite end of the room from Danielle.

She spent much of the day engaged in superficial chit-chat with Lyndsay, who was by far the nicer of Finn’s female friends, and unlike Frances wasn’t in the least bit inquisitive about her memory troubles, or indeed about her relationship with Finn.

He was still incredibly distant though, which really worried her. While he’d chatted away throughout dinner and joked with the others about the length of the speeches, she couldn’t help but notice his gaze occasionally gravitate towards the direction of Danielle’s table.

Abby tried to tell herself that she was just being silly, that it was only natural that Finn would be a little thrown by his ex-girlfriend’s presence after such a long time, but still she couldn’t help but feel threatened by it all. The fact that Finn had never really enlightened her about the reasons for their split didn’t help either. She knew that they’d lived together for a while in the house in Balbriggan and that according to Finn Danielle hadn’t settled there, but surely this alone wasn’t a good enough reason for them to split up? Or for Finn to have been so affected by the relationship’s failure that he hadn’t got involved with anyone else since?

Still there was little point in her getting worked up about it now. She couldn’t possibly know what Finn was feeling at the moment and she wasting her time trying to second-guess him.

So Abby resolved to put her concerns to the back of her mind and concentrate instead on enjoying herself at the first full wedding she’d attended since Claire and Zach’s a few years before. If Finn still had feelings for Danielle and as a result was having second thoughts about their own relationship, then she’d know about it soon enough.

As the night wore on and the few glasses of wine she’d consumed started to take effect, Abby gradually began to relax and enjoy herself. 

She and Lyndsay were quick onto on the dance floor when the happy couple finished their first dance and the band ramped up the tempo. What will be will be, Abby decided bravely boogying as though she hadn’t a care in the world, although inwardly she was very concerned indeed.

Finn had disappeared somewhere shortly after the meal was over and hadn’t returned to the table since. Abby tried to convince herself that there was nothing strange about this; it was his friend’s wedding after all and there were plenty of people he hadn’t seen in a while.

But then at around midnight, for some stupid reason, she agreed to accompany Lyndsay outside to the terrace for a cigarette. 

“I can’t help it, I’ve been off the bloody things for months now but the drink is wearing me down,” the other girl persuaded. “Roger would kill me if he caught me. Come on, you can keep a look-out for him.”

“Alright then,” Abby agreed. This was Lyndsay’s third request and she could do with a bit of fresh air, although achieving this amongst a crowd of smokers would be difficult, she thought giddily.

But had Abby
not
done this–had she not gone outside and onto the smoking terrace–she would never have glanced idly around the hotel grounds, and spotted Danielle and Finn sitting together on a bench nearby.

Engaged in deep conversation, the two seemed oblivious to anyone else, almost as if immersed in their own private cocoon. She would never have spotted the way Finn looked at his beautiful ex, the way his head inclined closely towards hers to hear something she was saying, the way he shook his head and smiled at whatever it was she had said.

Lyndsay, who was facing in the other direction and busily lighting up her cigarette, was completely oblivious to Abby’s horror. “Yep Roger would
murder
me if he found out I’d taken it up again,” the other woman babbled. “He can be a complete nag sometimes. Is Finn like that with you?”

“No,” Abby could barely get the words out. Now, their gazes seemed locked together, and Danielle was tracing a finger along Finn’s cheek, while her other hand was clasped in his. Oh God… 

Suddenly the ground began to sway beneath her, and Lyndsay’s words swam out of focus as Abby stared wordlessly at Finn, hardly unable to believe what she was seeing. Why would he do that? And in front of all these people?

“I have to go,” she gasped, racing inside before the other woman could react. What did it matter? After this, it wasn’t as though she and Lyndsay were ever going to see one another again, was it? Abby hurried back to the table to retrieve her things, barely registering the inquiring looks on the others’ faces, before going outside to reception to call a cab.

She’d been such a fool to think that someone like Finn would choose someone like her over Danielle, someone like her over
anyone
else she realised, pacing out front as she waited for her cab.

She’d been a fool to think that he might love her; that
anyone
might love her when there was a very real chance that someday she wouldn’t be able to remember something as simple as what she’d had for breakfast. How could any relationship be expected to cope with that?

But then again, why had Finn insisted that theirs could, that the two of them could get through it, no matter what? Why had he gone to so much trouble in trying to help her come to terms with what was happening to her, in helping her to admit that there really was something wrong? And why had he told her he cared about her, when all the time he was waiting for an opportunity to run off with someone else?

God the irony, she thought, realising that history was yet again repeating itself, irrespective of her memory problems.

However in this case she mused, her thoughts racing; in this case her situation could very well be a blessing in disguise, because this time, Abby had a sure-fire way of ensuring that Finn’s betrayal wouldn’t be the same as Kieran’s. That she wouldn’t think about it and be hurt by it every waking moment from now. That the image of Finn and Danielle together wouldn’t keep replaying itself over and over in her mind the way the image of Kieran marrying Jessica had.

No, this time Abby realised grimly, this time she had foolproof way of ensuring she’d never have to experience that kind of pain again.