Falling Stars (18 page)

"Stop!
You guys are creeping me out. I feel like a display at the Zoo or something."

Al's
voice filled the studio.

"That
was fantastic, great, amazing…shit I don't know what else to say. Actually just
listen to the playback."

He
started the playback. When I felt her walk by I turned, watching her leave
through the door. For the first time, I noticed something I had never seen
before. She had a tattoo in the middle of her lower back. My imagination ran
wild with the knowledge, but I shook off the thought quickly, focusing my
attention back where it should be, on the song. He was right. It was fucking
great.

When
the song finished, I walked out of the booth. The girls were standing and
talking with Una.

"Um…Mia,"

She
turned and for a moment, I was once again lost in those dark haunting eyes. My
skin crackled and my body twitched in multiple places. Clenching my bandaged
fists, I used the pain to snap out of my ridiculous behavior.

"You
were great. I mean, the song's great." Christ, I was a bumbling idiot now.

She
nodded politely and turned from me.

Arriving
back to the hotel room, Nicholas informed me Jackson would be staying with me
tonight. In fact, there would always be someone staying with me going forward.
I was going to argue, but realized I would never win the battle.

"Hey
bro, looks like we are shacking up tonight." He punched my arm lightly.

"Yep,
looks like you drew the short straw." I forced a smile for my 'babysitter'.

"Christopher."
Jackson shook his head. "I want to be here, if you'll let me."

After
the other night, I just patted his back and headed to shower. Lord knows what
he'll have to deal with tonight, The Night.

Jackson
was already in his adjoining room watching TV when I got out of the shower and
sat on the edge of my bed. Turning on my TV, I instantly regretted it. There
was the news with the date scrolling behind the weather forecast. I took a deep
breath and closed my eyes, yet another mistake. There she was, her, my mother
lying on the floor.

Cramming
my head into my hands, I started rocking. Trying to get a hold of myself,
agony, guilt, and rage cracking open inside of me began to seep in. I swiftly
got to my feet and pushed myself toward my bags. Throwing everything out of
them to find the pills the doctor gave me, my hands clasped around the brown
plastic. Once popped open, I swallowed a pill quickly and buried myself in the
pillows on my bed until the pill finally took me under.

Jolting
up screaming is not the best way for anyone to wake up; however, for the p
sychopath's
babysitter
in the next room it is even worse. Jackson burst through the
door with fear and panic all over his face.

"Christopher?
Are you okay?" He was at my bedside on his knee. He grabbed the pill
bottle and looked at it.

"How
many did you take?"

Slowly
rocking, I tried to erase the memories and the nightmare from my head.

 "Christopher!"

"One,
Jackson! I took one like they told me to!" Standing, I grabbed the bottle
from his hands and threw it against the wall. Jackson quickly stood and backed
away from me.

"They
never work!" I pulled at my hair. "Christ!" Grabbing a
sweatshirt from the pile I'd created earlier, I headed toward the door.

"Where
are you going?" Jackson was on my heels.

"I
need to clear my head. I'm not going back to sleep!" sliding on my shoes,
I yelled over my shoulder.

"Christopher
the doctor's said lack of sleep just makes it worse. Why don't we call –?"

"Thanks,
Doc
, but I'm not going back to sleep. Screw that! They can find another
damn pill that won't work for me tomorrow!" Pounding my fists on the door,
I leaned my head against it.

"Look,
Jackson…I just need some air." Pulling open the door, I stepped into the
hall.

After
passing the girl's room about three doors down, I stopped. Walking back, I
stood in front of the door running my hand through my hair. Lifting my hand to
knock, I chickened out and backed away until I pressed against the opposing
wall.

What
the fuck am I doing? She's asleep. She's afraid of you and she completely
ignored you when she saw you. Fuck! But isn't that what we always did, unless I
was being a dick? We ignored each other all day, or more so hated each other
all day, but she would still be there. She would be there sleeping or not. She
would stay.

Smacking
the back of my head against the wall, I closed my eyes. Cringing at the
thoughts and memories waiting in my head, I looked to the ceiling.
Why can't
I help myself? Why can't I make it stop? I knew why I couldn't. It's because I
had to live with what I'd done. I had to pay for what I did.

Knocking
pulled me from my self-deprecation.

Pushing
off the wall, I lowered my eyes. There was Jackson knocking on their door. He
turned to me and smiled lightly. Before I could make a move, before I could say
anything, the door opened. There stood a groggy and confused Red. She was
trying to focus on Jackson when he motioned to me. Putting my head down like a
five year old in trouble, she scowled at me and shut the door.

Jackson
looked at me with pity.
Fuck that, I don't need his pity!

"Are
you fucking crazy?" I hissed. "I'm gonna go –"

The
door opened again and my words caught in my throat. There she was with massive
bed-head and squinting. Not her best look.

Mia
pulled the door all-the-way open, motioning for me to enter. Jackson grabbed my
shoulder and shoved me toward the door.

"You
are either in or you're out. I'm too tired." Mia croaked out still half
asleep.

Jackson
chuckled, earning a glare from me.

Putting
my head back down, I walked into the room. Jackson told her 'good night' and
then the door clicked behind me. She brushed by me and walked into one of the
bedrooms. Following, I watched as she climbed onto her bed and threw herself
face down. Slowly I walked over to the bed and stood there.

 
Should
I say something, thank her?

"Either
lie down or get out. You are freaking me out with the hovering." She
mumbled into her pillow.

Kicking
off my shoes, I threw my sweatshirt on the floor next to them. Climbing into
bed, I heard her breathing start to acquire a regular rhythm.

"Thank
you." The words had come out so quiet I wasn't sure she would hear me. I
rolled over facing her back.

"You're
welcome" she yawned.

"Christopher,"
pause, "Christopher," another pause, "Christopher!" My
shoulder being shook roughly.

"What?"
I groaned loudly.

"Can
you move?"

Opening
my eyes to blaring daylight, I focused in on the current scene. My chin on her
shoulder and face buried into her neck, my arm was lying across her stomach and
my right leg tangled with her left. She was pinned to the mattress.

"Shit,
I'm sorry." I moved off and away from her.

"No
problem, you were just too heavy for me to move you." She got up and
walked toward her bathroom.

During
her walk, I noticed the small amount of clothing she was wearing. The shorts
and the tank top barely covered her. Shaking off the thoughts, I rolled over,
willing myself not to get a hard on.

*
* * * *

When
I heard Serena, answer the door last night I had no idea it would be him. I
mean I figured they had given him some pills or something for his 'issues'.
Curiosity got the best of me so I ask Serena who had been at the door. I was a
little shocked.

She
repeatedly assured me I didn't have to do anything, but then I remembered what
Nicholas told me about what today was. What happened the night before would
most likely reoccur if left to his devices. Taking a deep breath, I prepared to
play security blanket once again.

Greeted
by Jackson standing at the door, I was a little embarrassed. Sucking it up, I
simply extended Christopher the invitation. He finally came in and I was just
relieved to be able to go back to sleep.

Waking
this morning, two realizations made me a little nervous. One, my pajamas left
little to the imagination. Two, Chris was heavy. Once he released me from his
body trap, I tried to retreat quickly to the bathroom to cover with a robe or
something.

After
obtaining bladder relief, I wrapped up in the plush robe provided by the hotel.
Exiting the bathroom, I stopped short. Christopher was still in bed lying there
with his eyes closed. I wasn't used to this. He was usually gone before I woke
up. We didn't do the awkward morning after thing.

What
the hell do I say? Do I say anything? Why is he still here? He usually takes
off. Damn him! Okay, deep breaths. I'll just stick with the normal routine we've
established. Ignore and evade.

Leaving
the bedroom, I shut the door behind me. Laney already had breakfast sent up, so
the cart was waiting. My destination was the food. From the corner of my eye, I
saw Serena examining my every move. I fully loaded my plate. A full mouth would
be an excuse not to speak.

I
walked toward the couch with my full plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.
Her stare was relentless and annoying.

"Jesus,
what already?" I snapped.

I
took a large bite.
These were really good eggs
.

"Is
he still here?"

She
had taken on her 'mother' tone and motioned with a nod of her head. My mouth
was full, so I shrugged with a nod back to her. Ha, ha, the full mouth plan was
working.

"Are
you ever going to explain all of this to me?" My eyes followed her hands
as she waved them to accent her words and frustration.

I
sighed. "Look, there's nothing to explain." Pausing, I took a drink
of OJ. "You were there the other night." I shoveled another forkful
into my mouth.

"I
guess, but I don't understand." She shrugged.

I swallowed
the bite in my mouth.

"Well
when you figure it out, you let me know, because I have no idea how to begin to
understand it." I shook my head.

"Oh
Jesus, you both are clueless." Laney plopped herself down between Serena
and me. I grabbed my plate and steadied it from the bouncing motion.

"Then
fill us in oh wise Laney." Serena's voice exaggerated. I mocked bowing.

"Just
for that, nope!" She tried to pretend she was mad. Her creeping smile was
giving her away.

"Just
say it already," Serena sipped her coffee.

"Seriously,
you don't get it?" Laney looked between both of us with a look of
disbelief. She shook her head and snorted, "Unreal."

"Christ
Laney, just spit it out." Serena yelled and smacked her in the arm.

"Well
–" as she started to share her wisdom my bedroom door opened.

All
of our heads jerked to the opening door. I quickly looked back to my plate and
shoveled another bite in. Laney and Serena kept their eyes on the door.
Christopher appeared. In my peripheral vision, I saw him freeze at in the
doorway. I kept eating.

Ignore
and evade. Ignore and evade.

"Um…good
morning" Laney said with a small wave and a smile. Serena turned to her
with a crinkled expression on her face, clearly informing Laney that she had
lost her mind. I almost spit my food out on them.

Another
bedroom door open and Kat groggily walked out. As soon as she saw Christopher,
she stopped and then shot a look to us. She shook her head and headed for
breakfast cart.

"Help
yourself." Laney extended a breakfast invitation to Christopher.

I
shifted a sideways glance at him. He still stood by the bedroom door, rubbing
the back of his head, trying to contain the craziness that had taken shape on
his head. He just shook his head and walked to the door, exiting the hotel room
like it was on fire. Dropping my eyes back to my plate, I felt them all staring
at me now.

"What?"
I groaned loudly. I knew I was in for the badgering of a lifetime.

"You
need to put a stop to this." Serena placed her coffee on the table in
front of us.

I
rolled my eyes.

"Don't
roll your eyes at me! Is this what was going on the whole time you were on the
bus with him?"

"Have
you slept together?" Laney smiled large. "Like sex, not sleep."
She explained.

"No."
I groaned.

"Will
you two back the hell up off of her?" Kat joined in as she sat at the far
end of the couch.

Serena
ignored her.

 "Look
Mia, I love you, but this is ridiculous. You can't fix him."

"Who
said I was trying to?" Shouting, I got up from the couch. "You know,
I didn't ask your opinion about any of this and you sure as hell weren't
complaining about him when you voted me onto that bus."