Falling to Pieces (10 page)

The closer I get, the
more I become aware of the slow beats streaming from her room.

Is that
..?

Yep. Usher.

That little hooker has
someone in the room with her. I should have known when I heard the giggles, but
now, hearing this baby-making music, I know for a fact she isn’t alone.

Standing outside her door
I have a brief moment where I think that maybe I should walk away and let Becka
have her privacy. It’s a very brief moment before I say fuck it, and knock right
before barging into her room.

There is a lot of quick
motion with blankets flying around that I couldn’t miss, even in the dark. I
give her a second before I hit the light switch and take in the scene. Becka is
sitting on her bed with the comforter pulled up to her waist and on the other
side of her lies a body shaped lump. I don’t know
who
they think they are kidding, but I will play along.

“Hey Becks! I was hoping
you were awake.” I say, leaning against her doorframe, carrying on as if this
is a normal thing for us.

“What are you doing
home?” Becka asks as she swiftly glances around the room like she is looking
for something. Her rather nervous and panicky behavior reveals she may be
hiding something. And my first guess would be the person in bed with her.

I tilt my head, looking
at her as though she has lost her mind. “I do live here.”

“Well, I was just going
to bed, it has been a long night. Let’s catch up tomorrow.” Stretching her arms
over her head, Becka tries to play off a fake yawn.

This bitch is crazy.

I laugh inside. “I’m not
tired and I think we should catch up now. How about we start with you telling
me who is under the covers?” I step fully inside the room and cross my arms
watching as Becka looks everywhere except at me.

“What are you talking
about?” Becka asks with a nervous laugh.

“C’mon, Becka, the jig is
up. I have tried to be patient, and you know how hard that is for me. You are
killing me here and I refuse to leave this room until I know who you are hiding
from me.”

We stare at one another
for a moment, neither one wanting to back down, but eventually Becka gives in.
She knows how stubborn I can be and she doesn’t want me to be camped out in her
room all night.

“Okay, alright. Fine! If
it will finally shut you up.” Her choppy blonde locks fly back and forth as she
shakes her head, agitated.

She pats the lump and
slowly the comforter is pulled down. Inside I am jumping with joy in victory,
excited to finally solve the mystery.
 

When I see the long dark
hair and smile that is uncovered, I am almost at a loss for words.

“Oh, hey Cheyenne.” Lilly
raises her hand in a pageant wave as she moves to sit up in bed.

But, my words aren’t
absent for long. “Well, you are not who I was expecting to see.”

Looks like I had the
wrong bartender pinpointed the whole time. Although, things do make a lot more
sense now. The times when Becka would admit where she was going it was always
with Lilly.

“Okay, so now you now.
Are you happy?” Becka asks, still looking a little annoyed with me. I would be
worried if Lilly wasn’t grinning from ear to ear next to her.

“No.” I pause, dropping
my arms before taking off running and throwing myself into the bed between the
lovebirds. “This is fantastic! But how could you keep this from me? I feel
slightly hurt.”

“We wanted to give it
time and figure out what this was.” Becka motions between her and Lilly.

Lilly adjusts her spot in
the bed, leaning against the wall facing Becka and I. “It’s new for both of us
and we weren’t sure what really was going on.”

“So how long has it been
going on? How did it happen? Do you miss penis? I don’t think I could survive
without it. Are you sure that this is a wise choice, girls? I recall you both
being relatively into the whole guy and penis thing?” I ramble out my questions
in one breath causing both of them to laugh.

“One question at a time,
Cheyenne.” Becka teases, patting my leg. “I guess it’s been a few months now.”
She glances around me to Lilly, who nods to confirm. “As far as how it
happened, I don’t know how to answer that. It just did. We didn’t plan it, nor
expect it.”

“We had been spending a
lot of time together and for me it was like one day I looked at Becka and
suddenly I had all these feelings. I didn’t know what to say or do so I just
ignored it. Then one night we were drunk and I kissed her. I was so afraid that
she would be pissed at me and that I would ruin our friendship. But that one
kiss changed everything.”

“Awe, you guys, that’s so
sweet. I love it. But you forgot the most important question. No more penis?” I
was being serious when I asked about how they could go without it. That wasn’t
a joke.

Becka nudges me with her
shoulder. “Only you would be worried about such a thing, Cheyenne.”

“Hey! I feel that it is a
legit concern.” I rebut and we all laugh.

Suddenly, feeling the
exhaustion sinking back in, I rise to my knees and lean over to hug Lilly,
kissing her cheek. “I will let you lovers get back to whatever I interrupted.”

Turning back towards
Becka, I pounce on her, wrapping my arms around her and covering her entire
face with kisses. She hugs me back tightly and it makes me think she is
relieved the secret is out. Sitting back on my calves, I look at Becka
seriously. “You know this makes me think of freshman year.”

“Oh lord, Cheyenne. Don’t
start.” Becka laughs, knowing where I am going with this.

“That one night we got
really trashed and ended up making out in the dorm. So, I feel that being your
first girl-on-girl kiss, I set the bar pretty damn high. How does this one
match up?” I nod my head towards Lilly, getting a light kick from her, knocking
me on my back as I double over laughing.

I make my way toward the
door, blowing them each air kisses goodnight. What an interesting start of the
weekend, and it is only Friday.

I am still exhausted when I
wake the following morning, and for the first time, it is not an alcohol
induced kind of exhaustion, but more of the mentally, emotionally drained,
kind.

Spilling the beans and letting
out my feelings was not how I pictured my night ending and what’s even more
surprising is that it was Dave who I confessed it all to. Though I do feel a
little better getting it all out, but at the same time, it makes it harder to
ignore certain things once you say them out loud. I have worked pretty hard to
keep my thoughts and feelings hidden and locked away.

Another surprise would be the Becka
and Lilly relationship reveal. I don’t even know where to begin with this one.
They both definitely had me fooled and I didn’t see it coming. It’s not my cup
of tea, but who am I to judge. If it makes them both happy, which was obvious
last night, then that is all that matters. I love them both and wish them
nothing but the best.

I cannot wait until Sawyer
comes home so I can tell her the exciting news. She is going to be thrilled for
them also. I am not sure whether she plans on coming back to the apartment
today, but I am hoping so.

When I am finally able to rise
from the bed, I enjoy a refreshing shower, careful not to get my hair wet since
it still looks good from the salon; one less thing I will have to worry about.

Without any real plans for the
day, I dress casual in my torn jeans and loose tank. I am hoping that I will be
able to spend the majority of my afternoon in front of the television, catching
up on the shows I missed this past week. Thank the lord for cable recording. I
would be lost without it, because I never find myself available to watch shows
live. Plus, the added factor of being able to fast-forward through commercials
is amazing.

Becka and Lilly are just
walking into the apartment, when I make it to the living room. I fight the urge
to run up and kiss them when I notice the JavaCafe cups in their hands.

“I love you both.” I declare,
meeting them at the kitchen island.

“I needed to grab my paycheck,
so I figured might as well get us coffee while we were there. The new girl was
working today and isn’t really that great, but not to worry, I went behind the
counter and made these.” Becka hands me the warm cup while Lilly sets the white
paper bag on the island.

“Muffins were fresh, so we
grabbed a couple of those too. Just don’t touch the banana bread one, that’s
mine.” Lilly says, heading towards the direction of Becka’s room.

“Mmm. This is so good.” One
hot sip and I already feel ten times better. Opening the bag I reach in and
grab a blueberry muffin. I raise it up to Becka, asking if it was okay.

“Yeah, that one is for you.”
She
laughs,
knowing blueberry is my all-time favorite.

“What are you two doing
today?” Taking my coffee and muffin, I walk to the living room and make myself
comfortable on the couch.

Becka follows, taking a seat
on the loveseat and is soon joined by Lilly. “Hanging out here for a while, but
then we need to swing by Lil’s so she can take care of her cat. We are going to
dinner later if you want to join.”

“Crash your date and be a
third wheel? No way.” I tease, picking apart my muffin before popping the
pieces in my mouth. “Thanks for the offer though.”

We sit here for a couple
hours, making fun of the women on this reality show. They were a hot mess. It
is a horrible series, but it’s easy to get sucked in wanting to know what crazy
thing they might say or do next.

When Becka and I first met, I
teased her often for watching this kind of TV and then somewhere along the way
she got me hooked. You can’t help but wonder how much you see is actual footage
or mostly scripted to get people to watch. I don’t see how they can deal with a
camera following them around constantly.

I can only imagine what a
reality show about my life would be like. Hell, a couple years ago it would
have been quite entertaining. Going out each night, getting drunk, going home
with random guys…

Shit, my life really does sound like theirs.
A hot
mess.

I never questioned my choices
since moving out, but now, the thought of Sam being here and witnessing just
how bad it had been; I couldn’t bare the thought of it. The Cheyenne he knew in
high school was a saint compared to college Cheyenne. For the first time in a
while, I feel embarrassment for myself, knowing what I have been doing.

The other night when that Sean
guy approached me, I couldn’t even remember who he was, and that wasn’t the
first time it’s happened. It has never seemed like a big deal or maybe I just
chose to ignore it. I would hate to know what Sam would really think about me
if he knew the truth. I imagine he would be disgusted, most likely wanting nothing
to do with me.

The opening door saves me from
my thoughts as Sawyer walks in and takes a seat beside me on the couch.

“Hey friend. I didn’t expect
to see you today.” I say, sitting with my legs crossed to give Sawyer more room
on the couch.

“Preston had paperwork to do
at the bar and I didn’t want to sit there waiting. I figured I would come home
and catch up on laundry and school work.”

Speaking of laundry, I am
probably a good week behind at this point. It’s a good thing I have an
overabundance of clothes.

“What are you girls up to?”
Sawyer asks looking around at all of us.

“Just catching up on trash TV.
Oh, I finally figured out this one’s secret.” I say, nodding my head toward
Becka.

“Oh yeah? Care to fill me in?”

I look to Becka and Lilly, silently
asking for permission and Becka nods. “Well, it turns out, that I have been
going about this the wrong way. I was so focused on finding the mystery
guy
that I missed the brunette bombshell
who was right under my nose. Sneaky bitches.”

Picking up the decorative
pillow from the couch, I launch it at both girls occupying the loveseat.

Becka laughs and throws the
pillow back, but luckily I catch it before it smacks me in the face. “You never
would have figured it out had you not barged in my room last night.”

I think about that for a
minute but nothing comes to mind that may have led me in the right direction.
“Yeah, you’re probably right about that.”

“You came home last night? I
thought for sure you would have ended up in the bed of a certain singer last
night after the show you two put on.”

I stare at Sawyer in
confusion, wondering how she is not addressing the fact that I just told her
our roommate is a lesbian.

Did she not get what I just
said? Surely she isn’t that slow. I am the one who usually takes some time to
catch on.

“That is what shocks you?
The fact that I slept in my own bed last night?
You are no
way surprised that I just informed you that Becka has switched teams?” I
question, still slightly confused.

“Well, I kind of already had
an idea.” Sawyer offers in explanation.

What?

“What?” Becka and Lilly both
ask simultaneously.

My thoughts
exactly, ladies.
Surely,
Sawyer hasn’t had suspicions about this and not brought them to my attention.
What could she have seen that I didn’t?

“Don’t get mad.” She says,
looking at Becka and Lilly. “Preston told me. He saw you two in the supply room
a couple weeks ago.”

“I thought he had been acting
strange recently, and he was quick to volunteer when I needed my shift covered
last night.” Lilly and Becka both looked relieved. I would imagine its
stressful, worrying how people would take news like that. To me, they are still
the same two girls I know and love. This could never change that.

“You have no idea how bad he
wants to tell Chad. He has been making comments here and there, and I am
surprised Chad hasn’t caught on yet. The other day he was telling him that he now
have competition picking up girls. Chad looked to me, waiting for Preston to
get his ass handed to him for even suggesting he would be hitting on other
girls.” Everyone laughs.
Everyone but me.
I am still
stuck on a little fact.

“I can only imagine with,
those two, how-“

“What the hell Sawyer?” I
interrupt Lilly, aggravated. Everyone stops laughing and all eyes are on me.

“What?” Sawyer looks lost, as
she asks the question.

Yeah I’m lost too.

“You have known for weeks and
didn’t think to fill in your best friend?”

When I found out last night,
the first thing I wanted to do was tell Sawyer. That’s what I have always done;
tell Sawyer everything. But now she has her little secrets with the boyfriend,
so who needs the best friend.

“It wasn’t my business to
tell.”

Hah!

“Yeah, well it wasn’t
Preston’s either, but that didn’t seem to stop him from telling you?” I
snapped, everyone still eyeing me nervously.

“Chey
..
”
Becka starts, trying to calm me down, but I am past that.

Sawyer straightens herself on
the couch. “Are you really pissed about this?”

Why am I overreacting like this?

In all honesty, yeah I am
hurt, but it is really not that huge of a deal. What is wrong with me? I am
picking a fight with Sawyer for no reason. I need to get out of here and get some
fresh air. I think all this Sam stuff is really beginning to weigh on me. I would
love to sit down and fill the girls in, but today is obviously not the right
time.

“No. It’s fine. I am supposed
to meet up with Dave, so I will talk to you guys later.” Even though it is a like
I get up, grab my bag and phone off the counter and walk out the door. No one
says anything as I leave.

Walking down the stairs, I
inhale deeply and try to shake myself out of my sudden annoyed mood. When I hit
the sidewalk I remember that I have no plans with Dave and no clue where I am
headed. I pull my phone from my back pocket and send Dave a text.

Hey, are you busy? Want to
meet up?

I continue down the sidewalk,
with nowhere to go, heading in the direction of the park where I met Sam. My
phone vibrates in my hand with a reply from Dave.

Dave: Wish I could. Something came up. Had
to cancel the show tonight, too. Lunch tomorrow?

Sure. Is everything okay?

I am a little worried about
what could have come up to cause them to cancel the show. That seems like a big
deal.

Dave: Yeah, nothing bad. I will explain tomorrow. I’ll hit you up in the
morning.

Okay. Talk to you tomorrow.

Now, I really have no idea
what I am going to do. I can’t very well go back to the apartment after I just
made such an ass of myself. I know none of the girls will hold my behavior
against me, or at least I am hoping they won’t. I mentally calculate my cycle
in my head and I am pretty sure that my period is due next week. That would
certainly explain my recent mood swings and emotional state. Just a few days
ago I was crying in Sam’s arms, then last night I spilled my guts to Dave, and
a few minutes ago I went off on my best friend over nothing. Has to be the
hormones.

Before I know it I have made
it to the park and take a seat on the same bench as yesterday. Today there are
a few guys throwing a Frisbee back and forth in the field and a little farther
out, a guy is playing fetch with a black lab that is chasing a ball, but also
keeping an eye on the Frisbee.

Growing up I always wanted a
dog. I spent so much time at the Jameson ranch, not only to see Sawyer, but
also because they had so many animals running around, it helped me get my fix.
Nowadays, I volunteer at the local shelter from time to time. Not many people
know that about me, since I like to keep my soft side a secret.

When I get to the point in my
life where I finally have my own home, the first thing on my agenda will be
getting dog, and I plan on rescuing one from the shelter. It is sad to think of
all the dogs without a home. I know for a fact that if I weren’t living in an
apartment with a strict
no
pets policy, I would
already had at least one by now.

The Frisbee is overthrown and
flies over the guy’s head, but before it hits the ground, the lab leaps in the
air catching it and takes off towards his owner. I smile, watching as the dog
refuses to release the plastic disc. He had been waiting patiently for them to
mess up and now that he has it, he doesn’t want to let go. It is really cute.

His owner pulls something from
his shorts pocket, most likely a treat and the lab contemplates his options.
Hard plastic Frisbee or tasty treat?
Obviously the treat
wins and the guys are able to go back to their game.

Surveying the area, my gaze becomes
fixed on the blonde jogger coming my way. His shirt is damp from sweat and
clinging to his chest and torso as he moves. The sleeves are cut off revealing
his tan muscular arms with a tight band wrapped around his bicep holding his
phone. He is staring straight ahead, appearing focused on the trail in front of
him with the music in his ears.