Falling to Pieces (8 page)

“What are we doing Sam?” I ask coming
back to reality.

“What do you mean?” Sam replies.

“I mean, how do you see this playing out
now that you are here?”

“Honestly, at this point, I don’t have
the slightest clue. In a perfect world you would have realized that you
couldn’t be without me anymore.” Leaning over, Sam bumps into my shoulder, but
I just stare straight ahead, not sure if he is serious or not.

“And in our world?”

“I end up looking like an idiot.” The
defeat I hear in his voice pulls my gaze to his.

“Sam…”

“Don’t.” He stops me, turning his focus
down to his hands. “You’ve said it over and over. It’s not what you want. I
guess I just haven’t been ready to give up.”

Deep down it hurts to hear him say this,
because secretly I don’t want him to ever give up. The thought alone causes a
pain in my chest.

Why
do I have to be such a chicken shit?

Yet, I know it’s the right thing. “As
much as it pains me to say this, Sam, you know we can’t go back to how we were
before.”

Sam’s head snaps towards me and he holds
my gaze before he shakes his head and looks away.

“I agree. It will only make things
harder. Can I ask something of you though?” Sam asks looking back at me.

I nod my head slowly and bite the inside
of my cheek, nervously.

“I know you have your own life out here
and you’re used to… well… can you just not do it in front of me?”

Again, I only nod and hope that the same
would go for him. Nothing sucked more in high school than seeing Sam with
another girl. I would imagine he had it a lot worse when I review my track
record.

Since we are on the subject of other
people I feel this is a good time to pose my impending question.

“So, who’s the blonde?” I manage to ask.

Sam turns to me looking genuinely
shocked and confused.

“I may have snooped and found a picture
of you two.” I scrunch up my nose in shame.

“Her name is Emma,” are the only words
that come out of Sam’s mouth.

“Emma.” I allow myself to say her name.
Perfect name, for a perfect girl.
I can’t even come up with
a clever rhyming insult to go with it. “You guys make a cute couple. Are you
still together?” I ask, even though I am not sure I am ready for the answer.

Sam rubs his hands over his face,
looking conflicted. “No, it didn’t work out.”

“Not comfortable talking about it?” He seemed
rather tight-lipped when it comes to Emma and I can’t help but wonder why.

“Sorry, but no.”

Well, now I want to know about this Emma
even more, but if he isn’t willing to tell me anything I’m not sure how I will
find out.

“Alright, I get it.” Though really I
don’t. Last night I never would have imagined there being another girl in the
picture

“I’m not trying to be a jerk. It’s just awkward
to talk about with you.”

“I’m sorry.” I say, not knowing what
else there is to say.

“It’s not your fault, Cheyenne.”

Reaching across me, I slap Sam in the
chest. “Stop being so nice.”

We both
laugh,
breaking the tension, and Sam wraps his arm around my shoulders. Leaning into
him, we sit in silence and watch the soccer game going on in front of us.

This is nice. To an outsider, we look
like a couple enjoying the great weather, but as an insider, I am slowly dying.
As much as I long for this, I know I will never allow myself to have it.

“So, how do we do this?” I ask.

“I don’t know, but don’t change your
life just because I am here. I want you to be happy. Do whatever makes you
happy, Chey.”

“And what about you?” I know he must be
disappointed that I haven’t grown up.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ve been hanging
out with a couple guys from back home and already have a few new friends. I’ll
be good. You won’t even know I am here.” He laughs but I can’t bring myself to
join in, knowing that he is so far from the truth.

How
could I not know he is here?

Tonight my plan is to drink away the
last two days.

I hate the feelings that are running
through my body.

I hate how weak I am beginning to feel.

I hate needing to remind myself who
Cheyenne Thomas really is.

Needing a distraction after my ta
lk with Sam, I decided some retail therapy at the local shops
and boutiques would help. I find that the more I try to process what is going
on in my head, only results in causing more confusion. I hadn’t realized how
much I missed Sam, until I saw him in Penny’s, but am now dealing with the
complications of having him so close.

After exhausting the spending limit I
allowed myself, I figure it is time to head home and get ready for my night out
with Sawyer. She had texted me after her last class letting me know she would
pick up Chinese for dinner and meet me at the apartment. The only thing in my
stomach is the pickle from earlier, so I was drooling at the thought of fried
rice and egg rolls.

Seeing my arms loaded with shopping bags
as I came through the door, Sawyer doesn’t even question where I had been, or
why I felt the need to indulge. I am not ready to dive into the Sam situation,
especially when it is so fresh, so I appreciate her silence on the issue.

I unload my recent purchases, putting
everything away except the outfit I picked out for the evening. Our nights in
Avalon have finally started to cool off, so I decided on my black leggings with
the dark grey sweater dress I picked up this afternoon. The material is so soft
and almost like cashmere. I fell in love instantly and had to have it. However,
the outfit would not be complete without the black booties, also purchased
today, sporting four-inch heels.

While I was out, I also stopped in at my
favorite salon for a quick trim and style. In the mood for a change, I asked
for a full bang, but my usual stylist suggested something a little less
drastic. Instead, she shortened my long side bang so it fell close to eyebrow
level, giving the effect of a full bang, but still having the ability to style
it how I normally would. After blowing out the curls, she added loose waves
with a big iron, leaving me with lots of volume.

And I loved it!

Over dinner, Sawyer told me she loved
the new look and also informed me that she had talked to her sister finally.
Martha had yet to come clean about what was really going on, insisting it all
some big misunderstanding. Sawyer is taking her word for it, for now, but I am
not sold on the idea. I want to wait to hear from Aaron and how their weekend
went before I make a judgment on the matter.

Sawyer didn’t need to do much in order
to get ready. She changed into her navy, long-sleeved
v-neck
henley
and skinny jeans,
paired with none other than her cowboy boots.

Of
course she did.

Since, I already had my hair styled all
I needed to do was freshen up my make-up and throw on my outfit. Spending a
little extra time on my eyes wanting to make sure they stand out, I apply one
last coat of mascara and admire the finished product.

“Not too bad, if I do say so myself.” I
smile into the mirror and meet Sawyer in the kitchen for our customary shots.

“Damn, hot mama! Looking good!” Sawyer
whistles from across the kitchen. “Is Cheyenne out on the prowl tonight?”

“Sometimes a girl just wants to feel
pretty.” I deadpan, holding back my smile.

“I am calling bull shit on that one,
friend. You look like a girl on a mission.”

“Well there is that too.” I take the
glass Sawyer has passed my way. “Here’s to old habits dying hard.”

Sawyer gives me a questioning look, but
still taps her glass with mine and we down the liquid.

We arrive at Penny’s taking two open
seats at the bar. It doesn’t take long for Sawyer to begin making bedroom eyes
at Preston who is making our first round.

Yuck.

These two make me sick. Well, not
really, I love them.

“Here you go ladies.” Preston says
before bending over the bar in order to meet Sawyer’s waiting lips.

“Thanks Romeo.” I laugh using the
nickname Preston earned the night Becka and I walked in on him and Sawyer
getting hot and heavy on our living room couch.

“Shots?” Preston asks, looking back and
forth between Sawyer and I.

Before I can answer a glass is set down
in front of me. “I got this one boss.”

I hadn’t even seen Chad when we first
walked in.

“Alright, so I have gone from a panty
dropper to a wet pussy, what’s next?” I question the bluish mixture.

“This is one of my specialties.” Chad
leans over the bar, bringing himself closer to me. “A slow fuck.” After a kiss
on my cheek he pulls back and winks at me.

Little
charmer.

With the glass to my lips, ready to
drink the shot, someone beside me says, “Where do I sign up for one of those?”

Looking to my left, I take in the cute
brunette with her eyes set on Chad.

Glancing at him, I can see his interest.
“Don’t let me hold you up, handsome.”

His attention is quickly averted to the
brunette. I laugh and take the shot before turning back to my right only to
witness my best friend practically making out with her boyfriend.

“Ugh. Get a room. You two make me want
to vomit. Tone it down would you?”

With great effort, I am
sure,
Preston pulls himself away from Sawyer. “I see you and
Chad are still playing games.”

I simply shrug in response, sipping my
vodka cranberry.

Preston shakes his head laughing while
walking away to help his other patrons.

“I have to say, I am quite impressed
that you have kept it in your pants, or rather out, this long.” Part of me
wants to be insulted by Sawyer’s comment, but then I think
..
nah
, she’s right!

“Yeah, me too. But Chad seems like a
nice guy and I would hate for him to fall victim to my ways. As hot as he may
be, I respect the man too much to put him through that.” I shrug, being as
serious as I can.

“Chey, you are such an ass.” Sawyer
laughs, breaking my moment of seriousness and I begin laughing along with her.

“Hey, we all know who puts the ass in
classy. Don’t forget it.” We continue our laughter and when I am able to
finally take a breather, I sucked down the rest of my drink.

“Dang! In
a hurry
tonight?” Sawyer looks at my now empty glass and back to her, still, half full
beer.

“Something
like
that.” I have a certain pair of emerald eyes I need to put in the back of my
mind and as if on cue, Chad looks my way and I wave him over.

“I am at your service, lovely lady.”
Eyeing my empty glass, Chad grabs it and makes a new one.

“I want to get trashed tonight Chad. Do
your worst.”

“Are you sure that is wise, Chey?”
Sawyer asks with concern.

“Who wants to be wise?” I ask Sawyer
before turning my attention back to Chad. “I have problems I want to drink
away.”

Looking as if a light bulb just turned
on, Chad grins like the Cheshire cat and I am instantly nervous. “I have the
perfect shot coming up, but you can’t watch me mix it.”

Yep, definitely
nervous.

Turning back to Sawyer I reassure her.
“Don’t worry friend, it’s not my first barbeque.”

“Don’t I know it.
”

A few minutes later he returns. “Okay,
here you go.” Chad hands me the darker colored shot. “Now, don’t smell it, just
down it.”

Well,
here goes nothing
.

Without a second thought I bring the
shot to my lips and down the hatch it goes. As soon as it’s in my throat, I
want nothing more than to couch it back up. Never in my life have I tasted
something so horrid. Sawyer is patting my back, while
i
have a hand pressed to my chest trying to ease the sensation.

“That shit was disgusting. What the hell
did you give me?”
 
I ask when I can
finally take a breath.

“It’s liquid cocaine. Taste like ass,
but gets the job done, quick.” Chad pauses and winks at me. “Unlike me, where I
would take my time and guarantee you would enjoy the way I taste.”

The second I start laughing the coughing
begins again. I can already feel the warmth of the alcohol running through my
system. I should probably take it easy after this one.

“You two are hopeless.” Sawyer states,
pointing at the both of us. “And stop encouraging each other.”

“C’mon friend. Let’s go dance while I still
can.” Standing, a little wobbly on my heels, I pass Chad my bag to store behind
the bar. “I’ll be back lover.”

Puckering my lips I give Chad an air
kiss, and he rewards me with a sexy smile.

The band’s equipment is already set up,
but the house music is still playing. They aren’t scheduled to go on for
another half hour. After a couple songs of dancing, Sawyer signals she is
headed to the bathroom. I was going to join her until I heard the beginning of
my favorite Nicki
Minaj
song and I refused to leave
this dance floor. The effects of the liquid are causing me to loosen up and my
body is moving at its own accord to the beat.

I am consumed with the music when I feel
two hands touch my hips before one arm moves around my front pulling me into
the body behind me. I glance down and recognize the tattooed arm, smiling as I
turn my body around, still keeping with the beat. My hands reach up and connect
around Dave’s neck while I take in his dark stare.

“Hi.” I say, biting the inside of my cheek,
trying to hide my drunken state.

“Hi yourself. Going hard tonight I see.”
Ever notice when you’re drunk and you try to act sober that most of the time
you only make it worse. That’s me.

“Yep.” I say, seeing no point in trying
to hide it now.

Leaning closer, Dave runs his hot tongue
down my ear. “You’re coming home with me tonight.” He whispers this statement
into my ear, before taking my earlobe into his mouth.

Jesus,
Saint Mary.

I am pretty sure my legs lose strength
because Dave pulls me tighter against him to hold me steady.

All I can do is nod in agreement.
Running my fingers through his long thick hair, I grab ahold and bring his
mouth to mine. I went into this kiss feeling in control, but the moment his
tongue moves against mine, it’s handed over. A moan escapes me and Dave deepens
the kiss, with one arm around my back holding me tight and his other hand tangled
in the back of my hair.

He pulls back slightly, resting his
forehead against mine while we are both breathing heavy. “Fuck. We should go.
Now.”

“You still have to play.” I remind him,
running my hand up his neck and into his hair.

“Shit.” He hisses before lowering his
mouth back to mine, sucking on my lower lip. “The minute I walk off that stage
we are out of here.”

“Okay.” No argument here.

“Tonight, I’m going to need you to stay
seated at the bar. I am already worked up and with you in front of me I won’t
be able to focus enough to finish the set.”

With his palm resting against my jaw,
Dave lightly runs his thumb against my lower lip.

“Want to sneak off into the bathroom and
I can take care of that for you?” I take his thumb into my mouth and caress it
with the tip of my tongue.

Dave’s eyes are nearly black with desire
and for a minute I thought he just might take my offer, but instead he pulls
his hand away.

“Fuck.” He cusses, taking a step back, to
which I take a step forward.

I am stopped by his hands, which are
gripping my hips. I watch his chest rise and fall with each breath and when I
peer up through my lashes and meet his gaze, Dave crashes his mouth to mine
again. All too soon, he is pulling away. “Come one, let’s go to the bar.”

Right now I am unsure if it is the
alcohol or if I am merely just drunk off Dave, but I am having a hard time
walking. I know that if it weren’t for the arm around my waist holding me up, I
would probably be on my ass. Dave is, for sure, the perfect distraction. As
long as I can keep my focus on dark eyes, I will be golden.

Being a gentleman, Dave lifts me up and
sets me on the barstool, giving me a quick kiss. It’s then that I remember I am
missing my partner in crime.

Where
did that little hussy run
off t
o?

The
question dies in my head once I notice that Preston also seems to be missing.

“Cheyenne, you wound me! Replacing me
already?” Spinning in my seat, I turn to see Chad, hand to his chest, feigning
heartache. Dave chuckles behind me and moves closer when I lean back trying to
feel him.
 

“What happened to the brunette?” I ask.

“Got her number. Told her I would give
her call sometime.” Chad pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolds it.
“She wrote it on the back of this receipt. For condoms.”

I laugh so hard I nearly fall of the
stool, had it not been for Dave’s vice grip. That is awesome. “Well at least
the girl is prepared.”