FanGirl Squeal (RockStars of Romance Book 1) (42 page)

Victoria turned slightly in the passenger’s seat just enough
so that her famous blue eyes met his. He’d never seen her so calm yet so
undoubtedly angry since he’d known her.

“Do not ever act like you’re better than me or that the love
I had for you wasn’t real. I’m not fake nor am I superficial. I will never
pretend that I didn’t want to be a rich and famous actress when I started. I
wanted to see my face on television. I wanted people to scream my name when I
walked down the red carpet. I’ve been practicing my Oscar acceptance speech
since I was five years old. So yes, every time I’m out, I want the cameras to
catch me at my best. Because you know what, that picture of me standing on your
right side on the red carpet caught the eye of a fashion editor and two weeks
later, I landed the cover of Italian Vogue and walked the Versace runway at New
York Fashion Week. That check will pay for my child’s college tuition. That’s
real life, Cash.”

Cash sat in the driver’s seat completely stunned. Victoria
had never spoke to him like that, even when she was a hormonal rage monster. He
was wondering what exactly he said to push her button when she slapped his
shoulder.

“I’m not finished,” she said and hit him again until he
looked at her.

“Finish then.

“You don’t seem to understand that what you and Savannah had
wasn’t real life. Both of you thought you could fly beneath the radar, that you
could live out this fantasy relationship without any type of Hollywood
influence. Don’t be pissed off and whiny about what you lost because it’s your
fault you lost it.”

Victoria crossed her arms above her belly and sighed. “You
can consider my life superficial. I don’t give a shit. But it’s my real life
and I’ve accepted it for what it is because I wanted it this way. If you don’t
want to be a celebrity and be responsible for all the shit that comes along
with it, retire. Hang up your guitar. Don’t re-sign your record deal, and don’t
make any more songs. Do that if you hate it so much. Then, just maybe, you’ll
get your delusional girlfriend back.”

Victoria opened the car door and eased out of the car with a
grunt. She slammed the door shut so hard that Cash thought she’d shattered her
window. He jumped out of the car and beat her to the front door. He unlocked
the door before Victoria pushed past him and walked down the foyer and into the
kitchen.

“Vic!” he shouted after her.

“Get out of my house, Cash. I have nothing to say to you.”

“Vic, I didn’t mean to-”

“Yes you did!” Victoria shouted from the kitchen. “You feel
how you feel and I feel how I feel. I don’t hate my life and I know for a fact
that you don’t hate yours. You’re trying to justify the fact that you messed up
by blaming everyone else except yourself and Savannah. You chose to air your
dirty laundry out,” Victoria reminded him as she walked back into the foyer
eating an apple.

“You thought you were making some grand gesture by pouring
your heart out in a magazine interview. Newsflash, Cash, regular guys don’t let
their girlfriends know how much they love them in magazine interviews. Regular
guys don’t have fans to sleep with. Maybe you should decide what type of guy
you want to be as you’re climbing off your high horse. You need to go. I’ll see
you next week for our doctor’s appointment, Cash. Bye.”

Victoria quickly ushered him out of her house and slammed
the door shut in his face. Her anger certainly wasn’t due to her hormones, and
Cash couldn’t decide if she was correct or not. One thing he was certain of, he
wasn’t delusional. He knew exactly what he was getting into when he decided
that Savannah was the girl he wanted to be with. He just didn’t know how to get
her back.

“Bro, why you’d call me all the way out to California to
attend the engagement party for some dudes that I don’t even know?” Donnie
complained from behind the wheel of Cash’s Rolls Royce. “It’s not like there’s
gonna be any hot chicks there.”

“There will be hot chicks there,” Cash answered. “Troy’s a
hair stylist. That pretty much means all he knows is hot chicks. Besides,
Savannah is going to be there and I might need reinforcement. We don’t have to
stay long,” Cash assured his best friend. “Just long enough to say congrats to
Troy and Brandon. Marriage is a big deal to most people, ya know?”

“Yeah,” Donnie scoffed. “Sing me that song after you’ve
walked down the aisle with your
always the bridesmaid, never the bride
ass.
By the way, where’s your baby mama? I thought she was attached to your hip.”

“She’s pissed because I still want to get Savannah back. You
know how Vic is. If she’s not the center of my attention then she doesn’t know
what to do with herself.”

“She’s gonna make a great mom,” Donnie laughed.

“Tell me about it.”

The engagement party was being held at the Cabrillo Way
Marina on a rented yacht. As Cash and Donnie strolled down the dock, they could
see the lights and hear the music from a rather lively party. The sun was
beginning to set, casting a cacophony of colors across the sky. The cool breeze
off the water made it a perfect night for a yacht party.

Cash handed his invitation to an attendant who then allowed
him and Donnie to board. As soon as he set foot on the deck, Cash’s eyes darted
around looking for Savannah. Either Brandon and Troy had too many friends or
there were people there who just wanted to attend a yacht party.

“Before I put any alcohol in my system,” Donnie stated as he
and Cash scanned the crowd, “I’m going to go on record and tell you, soberly,
that you’re straight up twisted, man. You and Savannah were together for five
short ass months. Now you’re BFFs with her BFF? What exactly are you doing with
your life, man?”

Cash understood why Donnie felt that way. Donnie came from a
very large family that doted on each other. With six older brothers and
sisters, Donnie had no idea what not having a stable family life meant. As an
only child, Cash cultivated friendships as if he was gaining brothers and
sisters. Troy and Brandon were so close to Savannah that she considered them
her brothers and they’d accepted Cash into their family almost immediately.
Most importantly, they accepted Brittany.

Brittan had a few close friends, but she kept to herself a
lot. Jill was her closest friend because they were so much alike. She’d been
quiet and reserved since Cash met her. Her pre-adoption life wasn’t anything a
child should have had to endure. She was very closed-off about it too, only
revealing bits and pieces to Cash as she learned to trust him. Cash often
thought she took up cheerleading and participated in “normal” teenage girl activities
to appease his growing concern that he was doing a bad job as her guardian.

Over the five months that they were together, Savannah and
Troy had an effect on Brittany that brought out a different girl. She talked
more, laughed more, and suddenly, competition cheering wasn’t the most
important thing in her life. She didn’t spend nearly as many hours staring at
her Macbook either. Troy was teaching her and showing her that she was
beautiful when all Cash knew how to do was tell her.

Donnie wouldn’t get any of that that so Cash didn’t bother
explaining.

“Troy’s a good guy. Don’t worry, bro. You’re still gonna be
the best man at my wedding. B4L, remember?”

“You’re a dick.” Donnie laughed but Cash definitely heard a
sense of relief in his boisterous laugh.

“You find us some drinks. I’m going to find the grooms-to-be
and hopefully, the maid of honor.”

“If she hits you with a bottle of champagne, who should I
call first: 911, your publicist, or my sister?”

“Very funny,” Cash replied.

Cash found Troy regaling a small group with his proposal
story. Cash rarely saw Troy without a grin on his face as if he was always up
to something. Tonight, the man was beaming from ear to ear. His smile and the
love in his eyes as he talked about how nervous he was to propose made Cash
chuckle. Troy never came off as the nervous type.

“Congratulations, man,” Cash said once Troy finished his
story. “I’m incredibly happy for you.”

“Cash! Troy exclaimed. “So glad you made it. I wasn’t sure
if you’d come. You know, with that drama queen sulking in the corner over
there.”

Cash looked in the direction Troy was nodding. Savannah was sitting
by herself staring out at the shimmering lights on the water. Her silver beaded
cocktail dress caught the twinkle of the boat’s lights and the lights in the
marina. Cash noticed that she wasn’t sulking. She was just sad.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her. I mean,” Troy smacked
his lips, “I know she’s happy for us and you know there’s not a jealous bone in
that child’s body, but she’s been on the verge of tears all day and won’t talk
about it. I’m worried about my Savannah Banana. I think she misses you. Why don’t
you go over there and talk to her?”

Cash glanced over at Savannah again. She sipped from her
champagne glass, smiled gingerly and waved her fingers at a couple of passing
guests then went back to staring at the calm ocean.

“I’ll try,” Cash said to Troy. “She hasn’t had one word to
say to me in months though.”

Troy shrugged. “Maybe she will tonight.”

Cash was positive that she wouldn’t, but the sadness in her
eyes moved his feet in her direction. He eased over to the padded bench and sat
down next to her. If Savannah noticed his presence, Cash couldn’t tell. He motioned
for a server carrying a tray of pink champagne and took two glasses. Only when
he removed the empty glass from Savannah’s hand did she acknowledge him.

“Hello,” she said softly.

Cash smiled. “Aww, she speaks.”

“Sometimes,” was her answer before she turned her attention
to the water.

Cash touched her bare shoulder softly. At his mere touch,
tears sprang forth in Savannah’s eyes and she began to cry. Cash wrapped her in
his arms and held her, shielding her from any nosy guests.

“Talk to me, Savannah? What’s wrong?”

“Everything’s changing around me,” she cried softly. “Yet,
my life is still just as lonely as it’s always been. And I’m sad about that.”

Savannah quickly sat up and dabbed at her eyes with a
cocktail napkin, careful not to smear her eye makeup. “What are you doing here,
Cash?”

“I just wanted to talk to you,” he replied, surprised by the
quick shift in her demeanor.

“I don’t want to talk. I want to be left alone.”

“Alright, I’ll leave you alone. I just came over because
Troy’s worried about you. And you look like Phoebe and Joey ran away or
something.”

“Don’t be cute,” Savannah snapped. “Phoebe and Joey are the
only ones not running away from me.”

She rose from the bench and walked off. Cash watched her
plant a fake smile on her face and head straight for the bar.

For the rest of the night, Savannah avoided Cash and he
pretended like it didn’t bother him, especially after Donnie caught him staring
at her and told him to knock it off with the “serial killer stare.”

At least she wasn’t doing that thing girls do when they were
trying to make an ex jealous. She wasn’t handing out her phone number or
dancing with guys. She mostly stayed close to the girls from salon and downed
glass after glass of pink champagne. Donnie, on the other hand, was eating all
of his gripes and moans. He was having a blast on the yacht, especially when he
found out that the yacht owner was a divorced cougar.

“I’m so glad that this isn’t awkward for you and Banana,”
Brandon stated. He slid into the chair next to Cash and smiled.

“The hell it ain’t,” Cash slurred. He was a little too tipsy
as well. But it was fine. He wasn’t afraid to call a cab for him and Savannah
because she was too drunk to be behind anyone’s wheel.

“Well, I’m glad you came though,” Brandon replied. “Breakups
are always so awkward for everyone involved. Banana threw a temper tantrum when
she found out that Troy sent you an invitation. Nevertheless, Troy and I think
you’re a great guy. It’s nice to have straight friends.”

“Ah man! I’m your token straight friend? That sucks!” Cash
joked.

“‘Tis life, my dear. I’m going to find my husband to be and
see if he’s ready to wrap this thing up. Thank you so much for being the bigger
person and coming tonight.” Brandon stood up and straightened his dinner jacket.
They both noticed Savannah wobbling to the stairs in the direction of the head.

“Can you follow her and make sure she doesn’t fall down the
stairs or worst, fall overboard. She’s wearing borrowed Valentino.”

Cash followed behind Savannah. She was so focused on walking
straight that she didn’t notice him behind her. He waited outside the head
until she came out wiping her face with a wet towel. His intention was to
escort her into the nearest taxi but the copious amount of tequila he’d
consumed had another plan. He stepped in front her and stopped her in her
tracks.

“What are you doing?”

“I need to talk to you,” five shots of Patron answered. He
opened the door to one of the yacht’s staterooms and pulled her in. Cash closed
the door while Savannah plopped down on the bed with her arms folded
defensively across her chest.

“Hurry up and say what you got to say,” she said. Her Harlem
accent was prominent in each syllable.

“I fucked up by not immediately telling you about Victoria, but
come on, Savannah! That wasn’t bad enough for you never want to speak to me
again, was it?”

“None of that matters, Cash. I told you that it’s not about
that or her. It’s just a situation I don’t want to be in, okay?”

“No,” Cash replied sharply. “It’s not okay. I’ve been practically
begging you to talk to me. I don’t want to keep pouring my heart out in emails
that you don’t acknowledge. I don’t think we should be apart. I’m willing to
wait until after Christina is born but you can’t just walk away, Savannah.
Damnit!”