Fear Me (32 page)

My complete surrender.

I had to be his.

I wanted to be his.

“I’m yours,” I whispered, a feeling of lightness taking over as if a weight had been lifted. I felt complete even though I knew it was a lie.

“Say it again,” he growled. His body poised to take mine.

“I’m yours.
Only
yours.” I turned my head around to look deep into his eyes. “Fuck me,” I whispered, desperately, holding his gaze with mine.

The force of his thrust shattered my senses as he slammed into me without warning and my scream ripped through the air. His head was buried in my neck, pressing soothing kisses against my skin. I locked his lips with mine as our hunger took over and our kiss became deeper.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned when my walls contracted around his cock. His hips shifted and he began thrusting, slowly inside me. I could tell he was holding back for some reason. “Does that feel good?”

“Yes,” I moaned. “More.” I knew I sounded like a bitch in heat but I was too drunk off him to care.

“More?” he repeated. “Like this?” His thrusts picked up speed until he was pounding inside me. He seemed to always know just what I needed even when I didn’t know myself. “Lake…” I creamed at the sound of my name on his lips.

“Yes.”

“Say my name, Lake. I want to fucking hear it.”

“Keiran.” His name was caught on a scream when he nearly lifted my knees off the bed with a single hard thrust.

“You’re mine,” he growled. I felt my orgasm approaching and grew desperate for the end and the pleasure that came with it. Keiran was driving me insane under his possession. His groans became louder and I knew he was about to come and I craved it. “Come with me, baby.” His finger found my clit and worked the bundle of nerves until I felt my body seize and my belly quiver. My long, guttural scream and his roar echoed throughout the room as the powerful orgasm took over us both.

Keiran took me once more before he left the bedroom, leaving me tired and overworked on the bed. I thought about the love we just made and shivered. It was fierce and it was brutal but it was us. I
loved
it.

He came back after a few minutes and cleaned me up but didn’t rejoin me on the bed. I watched him dress in silence as I listened to the storm still rage outside, lost in my own thoughts. Once the sex fog cleared out of my mind I remembered that sleeping with him again wasn’t part of the plan. Just like the shower, I got caught in the moment. I was also pissed that he was once again doing a hit and run.

What did you expect Lake? Cuddling under the covers? Pillow talk?

“I’m going to ask you something and I’m only going to ask you once,” he said as he walked across the room. The tone of his voice was sharp and I instantly knew why when he picked up the only thing lying on top of my desk. My heart stopped, when he asked, “Where the fuck did you get this?”

“I can explain,” I said lamely. I was kicking my own ass for leaving the picture on the desk. After Jesse left, I passed out from mental exhaustion. Digging into Keiran’s past was more complicated than I originally thought.

“I’m counting on it.”

“I don’t know.”

“Lake,” he growled.

“I’m serious! I don’t know. I think whoever broke into my house that night left the picture. It was in a birthday card that was addressed to me.”

“Bullshit. That was a month ago. Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because…I –”

“Because you wanted to use it against me,” he said all to calmly. It immediately made me wary. Where was the shouting? Where was the anger?

“You’re being ridiculous.” I sat up and pulled the covers around my naked body, no longer feeling as comfortable being in the nude. I felt vulnerable enough with his threatening stare bearing down on me.

“Am I?” he asked.

“How would I even know the picture involved you?” Keeping his eyes locked with mine, he shoved his fist in his pocket and pulled it back out immediately. I thought it was odd that he did that until he opened his fist and let the gold locket dangle between his fingers.

“This look familiar?”

“It’s starting to,” I said petulantly. I knew I was caught and truth be told, I was scared but I wouldn’t let him see it.

“How about if I wrap this around your neck and strangle the fuck out of you?”

I jumped from the bed, forgetting about my naked state and the words were spewing out of my mouth before I even knew what I was going to say.

“Go ahead and do it! You’ve been threatening to kill me since we were kids! Sometimes I wish you would have just put me out of the misery you caused me!” My chest was heaving up and down while he watched on silently. “Yes, I was going to find out the story behind that picture, the story behind you, and the story behind the past ten damn years and I was going to use it to make you pay for what you’ve done to me.”

His eyes narrowed and his voice filled with venom as he asked, “What I’ve done to
you
?”

“I never did anything to you. I didn’t deserve your hatred.”

“That may be so,” he said nonchalantly and shrugged, “but that doesn’t mean you didn’t affect me because you did.”

“Affect you how?”

“You made me realize how fucked up I was or...am.”

“Why is that a reason to hate me? I was seven, Keiran. I didn’t even know you!”

“It didn’t matter. I blamed you for making me realize that so hurting you became a way for me to accept who I was. Ten years ago I was serious when I said I was going to kill you but then hurting you became an addiction and I couldn’t stop.”

“If it was fear that you wanted, why only target me? There are so many people who are afraid of you.”

“None like you.”

“Keiran, you’re sick.” Instead of anger, I was filled with pity and empathy for him. It couldn’t be easy being that type of person.

“I’m not sick, Lake. I was just doing all that I’ve ever known.” I still couldn’t imagine what could turn an innocent child into someone so dark.

“J – Jesse found these articles today. I know your mother abandoned you when you were eight.”

“How did he find that? It’s supposed to be gone – all of it.”

“He’s good at finding things.”

“I see.”

“So help
me
see. What happened to you?”

“What did the article say?” I frowned at his question. He didn’t look angry or sad about me finding out his history. Instead he looked curious.

“Not much. It said that John took you in and that Mitch Masters is your father. It said nothing about your mother. Who is she?”

“My mother was a prostitute and a drug addict. She left me with my uncle so she could go off and die.” He tried to mask it but I heard the contempt in his voice when he spoke about his mother but his still held no emotion.

“What about the girl in the photo?” His eyes clouded over as he looked back down at the picture.

“She’s no one,” he replied. I could hear the bitterness in his voice. “She was weak.” The contempt in his voice spurred my next question.

“So what happened to her?” He had to know something considering he had he locket. Could he have been there when she died?

“I killed her.” As much as I was hoping for honesty I didn’t actually expect him to be so honest. He just admitted to murdering someone yet he was so casual about it.

“Why?” I asked reluctantly. My voice shook but I managed to hide most of it.

“Because I couldn’t save her.” His eyes had glossed over with some unnamed emotion when he spoke. It was a look I’d never seen on Keiran’s face before. It was regret.

“Save her from what?” His beeping phone interrupted whatever he would or wouldn’t have said. When he spit out a harsh curse and his face transformed into a savage mask my attention shifted to whatever held his attention now.

“What is it?” I couldn’t help asking.

“Reynolds made bail.”

“When?”

“Yesterday.”

The sunlight on my skin woke me up and I swear I could hear the birds chirping outside and I felt like singing.
I’m such a dork.
I stretched and my body felt sore in all the right places and remembering how it got like brought a smile to face.

“Good morning, baby.”

I was surprised to hear his voice even though I knew he stayed the night. After we found out that Trevor was out – probably thanks to his dad – I’d wordlessly gotten back in bed and closed my eyes, wishing for sleep to come quickly. I told myself I didn’t care what Keiran did or where he went, but when he climbed into bed and spooned me from behind, my heart did jumping jacks all over my chest.

I finally opened my eyes and found him sitting on the floor next to the bed. His knees were bent with his arms draped across them. He wore an intense expression on his face and I wondered what he’d been thinking.

“Why are you on the floor?”

“You kept kicking me. I nearly fell off the bed…and you snore.”

“I do not!” I threw a pillow at him and then realized I had no way to hide my flushed cheeks. He laughed when he caught the pillow.

“You’re pretty wild.”

“Well I’m awake now. So come on.” I patted the bed and looked at him with a look that I prayed was seductive. He smiled sheepishly and shook his head.

“I’ve created a monster. We don’t have time for the bed.” He stood up and headed for the door and I pouted. “But if you come get your sexy ass in the shower with me I’ll give your first quickie,” he tossed over his shoulder before leaving.

I wasted no time hopping out of the bed and running after him. I already decided sometime between him pounding me against the shower wall and my screaming orgasm that it was my favorite place to have sex.

Not long after, we were downstairs making breakfast when he said, “I want you to stop digging into my past.”

“I can’t do that,” I said without looking at him. I heard him slam his cup down and felt his eyes burning through me.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because I want answers that you won’t give me.”

“And for a damn good reason. Damn it, Lake. This goes beyond you and me. You’re going to uncover some shit you’ll wish you didn’t and I won’t be able to save you.”

“So what happens then? You’ll kill me too?” Instead of answering, he shot up from his seat and was around the table before my brain caught up to common sense. His hand was in my hair, pulling my head back and my eyes met his stormy gaze.

“It won’t come to that because you’re going to do what I say. I don’t want to have to hurt you again. Don’t push me that far. Are we clear?”

I peered into his eyes and saw something I never thought I would see in his eyes ever. I saw fear. “What are you afraid of?” His gaze shifted from my face before he met my stare again.

“I’m not afraid of anything,” he answered, shortly. He let go of my hair and left the kitchen before I could respond.

“Everyone has something to be afraid of,” I whispered to an empty house.

***

I don’t remember the ride to school. After the breakfast that I ate alone, I looked around for Keiran even though I knew he was gone. I purposely made it to school with only a few minutes to spare. Even though Keiran was no longer terrorizing me within these walls his attention put me on the receiving end of glares and snide comments from his ex-cum buckets – Anya especially.

I was surprised that she was walking around unscathed and even still claiming Keiran after Trevor’s confession that she was a part of the setup. The irony of the situation did not escape me. Maybe he really did have feelings for her…

I entered art class and found that my seat was taken. I didn’t think it was a big deal until I noticed that the only seats left was one beside Keenan and the other next to a member of Anya’s twat squad.

Keenan didn’t seem to hate me anymore but I wouldn’t exactly call us buds. I tossed my head back, annoyed, before marching over to his table. He looked up and grinned when he saw me. It was still uncanny how much they looked alike. I reluctantly sat down next to him.

“Sup sis-in-law. You still mad at me?” I tried not to react to his nickname for me. People were getting ideas about Keiran and me that I wasn’t particularly fond of.

“Not mad. Aware.”

He frowned before saying, “I didn’t make the best impression…”

It was more a statement than a question. I shrugged and left to retrieve my project. I returned to my seat and looked at him curiously. He was glaring at his poster like it offended him. I took a peek and saw that he was drawing a picture of Sheldon doing one of her routines at a game. I was impressed with how good he was and the detail he captured. His art really seemed to come to life.

“You’re pretty good. Is art something you want to do?” Making conversation was my way of a truce…sort of. I didn’t owe Keenan anything but I wasn’t going to be a bitch either.

“Huh?” He jerked his head up and looked at me. “Oh…maybe. Hey, uh…can we be friends?”

“Why?” He definitely threw me off guard with that one and I didn’t try to hide my surprise or suspicion.

“Because I was a dick to you? I’m sorry for how I treated you.”

“I get it. You were protecting him.” I didn’t get it but that didn’t mean that I had to be the dick.

“Keiran hasn’t had the best experience with having a family so I try to have his back.”

“I know. Last night, he told me about his mother be a prostitute and a drug addict after I dug up some things from his past.” Keenan’s expression was mixed with surprise and confusion.

“He told you that?” he asked as his brow furrowed from his deep frown.

“Yes.” I studied the expression on his face and then asked, “Did he not tell you?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, he told me. I’m just surprised that he was so…forthcoming about it to you.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” I said absently. Keenan’s look was more than just surprise. “Anyway, do you think he would have done the same for you, if he doesn’t believe in family?” He hesitated and I could tell he was thinking his words over.

“He would have done much worse.” I studied his face and saw something odd hiding in his eyes. I recognized that look.