Finding Home (10 page)

Adam returned with two cans of Coke and handed one to Dillon before sitting next to him on the couch. “Who’re they playing?” he asked.

“The Twins,” Gramps answered, giving Adam a questioning look about the Coke.

“Dillon doesn’t drink,” Adam shrugged. “I’m driving us both home, so I’m not drinking today.”

Gramps’ eyes twinkled, and he chuckled as he turned back to the television. “DAMN IT! HE WAS SAFE BY A MILE!” he yelled at the television. “Stupid umps can’t make one simple call,” he muttered.

Dillon looked at the television and recognized the Royals playing. He decided that must be the team they were rooting for and settled back into the couch, leaning slightly into Adam’s side. They watched in silence for a while, minus the outbursts from William when the umps made bad calls.

“Hello?” called a cheerful voice from the hallway. Parker ran through the living room, barking incessantly until he got to Amy, who picked him up and cuddled him immediately.

“Amy!” Grams greeted her happily when she made it to the hallway. “I’m glad you’re here. I could use some help in the kitchen.”

Amy walked through the living room, still carrying Parker who was soaking up the attention, to say hello to Gramps and Adam and was surprised to see Dillon there. “Hey, Dillon! What a nice surprise! It’s good to see you again.” She grinned enthusiastically as she noticed his proximity to Adam. “You and Adam, huh? I didn’t see that one coming.” She sighed dramatically and headed into the kitchen to help Grams.

Dillon leaned up and whispered into Adam’s ear. “Why does everyone assume we’re dating?”

“Is that such a bad assumption?” he asked as he raised an eyebrow at Dillon.

“No, that’s not what I meant...” Dillon started to protest.

“I’m teasing you, Dillon. Don’t worry. It’s just not normal for me to bring someone to family dinner. I’ll correct her if it means that much to you.” He spoke low enough for the conversation to be private, knowing that Gramps was sitting in the chair next to them.

“No, it’s okay. I mean, it’s not a big deal. I just wondered.” Dillon suspected that he’d hurt Adam’s feelings, and that made him feel like shit. He sighed and rested his head against Adam’s shoulder which made Adam feel all warm and cozy on the inside. He was really enjoying spending the time with Dillon.

“Dinner’s ready,” Doris hollered from the kitchen.

Gramps grumbled as he shut the television off, something about bad timing, and they all entered the dining room. Gramps took the spot at the head of the table with Adam sitting to his right and Amy sitting to his left. Dillon sat next to Adam, of course, and Grams sat across from Gramps. It was an intimate setting, and they began to pass dishes of food around the table. Roast with mashed potatoes and gravy, steamed vegetables, and rolls all came by and Dillon wasn’t shy about taking any. It had been so long since he’d had real, home cooked food that wasn’t from a box, that he dug in and probably made himself look like a pig.

Conversation flowed freely as they ate, talking about their work week and other activities. Amy told them about Gary, a guy she’d gone out with the night before that she seemed to really like. Adam rolled his eyes while she was talking, and Amy threw a piece of bread at him. Everyone cracked up when Adam picked it up and ate it like nothing had actually happened. They included Dillon in the conversation, asking him questions about his trip and non-prying questions about Chicago, which he greatly appreciated.

It was a comfortable dinner, something he wasn’t expecting. Once they were all finished eating and the conversation was dying down, Dillon spoke up, “That was delicious, Doris. Can I help you clean up?”

She beamed. “Thank you, Dillon, but would you please just call me Grams? And no child, you’re a guest. I’ll get this cleaned up in no time.” She stood and started clearing away dishes, but Dillon felt like he should help anyway. He started to stand up, and Adam put a hand on his arm. “Sit back down or she’s going to yell,” he warned quietly. Dillon’s eyes shot to Amy who was nodding her head in agreement with Adam, so he did as he was told. He didn’t want to anger Grams after her hospitality.

She brought them all a piece of homemade apple pie with vanilla ice cream on top of it, and Dillon was quite sure he’d died and gone to Heaven. How damn lucky was he that Amy had been the person he’d first talked to upon arrival, which had led him to all of this? It was surreal and amazing.

They all sat around talking for about another hour before Amy had to leave for work. Adam asked Dillon if he was ready to go also and he was, despite the fact that he’d had such a great time. He’d had enough social time and was ready for some relaxation.

“Thanks again for inviting me, Dor… I mean Grams,” Dillon corrected himself and Grams smiled. “It was amazing, and the food was great too.” Dillon hoped he came off as sincere as he felt.

“Anytime, dear. You come back next Sunday, okay?” Grams hugged them both and they agreed that Dillon would be there, then they left.

*****

Once they got back in the car, Dillon sighed. “What?” Adam asked.

“Is that what family is supposed to be like?” Dillon wondered.

“Yes, that is absolutely what family is supposed to be like,” Adam answered. He reached over and took Dillon’s hand. “I know things weren’t good for you in Chicago, and I know how much courage it had to take for you to leave with practically nothing and start over somewhere new, but I want you to know that I’m glad you found us and that you have a family with us now.”

Dillon choked up at Adam’s words but didn’t want to clue him in to the emotional crapstorm boiling inside of him, so he just stared out the window as they drove back to Adam’s.

They spent the rest of the day on the couch, watching movies and talking with Parker snuggled between them. Each day that he spent with Adam just solidified the feelings growing inside of him, and he knew how dangerous that was. He could see this thing between then potentially progressing, but he wasn’t sure he could handle the loss if actually something happened between them and then Adam broke up with him. Dillon was at the top of a very slippery slope, but he wasn’t sure he could get off even if he wanted to.

For the entire week after their first Sunday dinner, Adam set his alarm for six in the morning so he could wake up and sneak into Dillon’s room. He’d quietly crawl into bed with Dillon and spoon him, making sure that he was there to provide comfort and support for his friend so that Dillon wasn’t alone when he woke up in case he panicked again. The weight of Adam against his back, paired with the safety and warmth that Adam provided for Dillon honestly did help stave off the panic attacks until Dillon was sure that he was familiar enough with his surroundings to be okay. He’d been absolutely blown away that Adam had done such a thing for him.

Several weeks passed in a blur for Adam and Dillon. They got along really well, and their friendship strengthened even more as they spent so much time together, which made living together incredibly easy. On the work end of things, Dillon had been trained by a supervisor named Cody who quickly became someone that Dillon could see himself being friends with eventually. He made Dillon laugh so much that he never had a chance to feel uncomfortable around him. Adam continued to work long afternoons and evenings, except on Thursdays and Sundays, which were his days off. Those days were reserved for hanging out with Dillon and showing him around the city.

They hit up museums and outdoor parks. He took Dillon to the Pedestrian Bridge which was a footpath bridge that crossed the Missouri River between Nebraska and Iowa, and they walked across the entire 3000 feet and back which Dillon thought was incredible. At night they sat on the couch and relaxed, winding down from their respective days and just talked about whatever they could think of. It was a good system they had going, and Adam was proud of himself for containing his rapidly growing feelings for Dillon. Dillon seemed to be thriving in his new environment, and Adam was thrilled for him.

Adam took Dillon shopping when he received his first paycheck from Target. Dillon wanted to buy some new clothes, and Adam helped him find things that looked good on him. Dillon couldn’t have been happier. Okay, that was a lie, he knew there was one thing that could have made him happier, but he was afraid of rocking the boat because he was finally sincerely happy with his life.

*****

Time had been flying by so fast that when Adam looked at the calendar and realized what day it was, his heart sank. No one had mentioned anything about the next day creeping up on them. Amy usually said something, but this year she didn’t, and Grams and Gramps hadn’t bothered to mention it either. “Is today really the sixth?” Adam asked Dillon, needing clarification.

“Yeah, why?” Dillon wondered. He was sitting sideways on the couch with his feet resting in Adam’s lap, which had become their norm when they were watching television. Adam just kind of stared off into space for a while. “I think I’m going to turn in early tonight,” he mumbled, handing Dillon the remote. “Will you let Parker out again before you go to sleep?”

“Sure, of course,” Dillon responded quickly, completely confused about what had just happened. Adam had been in a rather good mood for the majority of their day, but this was a complete one-eighty.

Adam zoned out and worked his way toward his bedroom on auto-pilot. He didn’t bother to shower, just blindly chucked his clothes into the corner of the room and crawled into bed. He couldn’t believe he’d almost forgotten, and that made him feel like shit. He really needed Dillon to curl up with him tonight, but he didn’t dare ask him, so he turned off his lamp and tried to fall asleep.

Dillon couldn’t shake the feeling that something was really wrong with Adam, so after watching another half hour of television, he finally caved and got up to let Parker outside quickly before he made a beeline for Adam’s room. He knocked lightly on the door then cracked it open a couple inches. “Adam?” he practically whispered.

Adam groaned an unintelligible sound, and Dillon continued. “Do you want Parker in here tonight, or do you want him to sleep with me?”

“Don’t care…”

Dillon’s heart was thundering in his chest. He hated feeling like he did something wrong. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Adam answered honestly, and Dillon didn’t stop to think about it. He made his way over to Adam and climbed into bed with him. Their bodies didn’t fit together as well when Dillon tried to be the big spoon, so Adam turned over and pulled Dillon against his chest, which instantly relieved some of the pain in his heart, but not quite enough. Dillon snuggled as close to Adam as he could get. “I’m here if you need to talk,” he assured him. “But I won’t force you, okay?”

Adam nodded against the top of Dillon’s head and kissed him on the forehead. “Thank you,” he murmured quietly. Adam focused on Dillon’s breathing and his reassuring presence and eventually fell asleep.

*****

Dillon was scheduled to work a short shift Wednesday morning. He tried to slip out of Adam’s bed quietly so as not to disturb him, but as he moved away, Adam immediately felt the loss and grabbed onto Dillon’s arm. “Don’t leave me,” he pleaded. “I need you.”

That was all it took. “Can I borrow your phone?” Dillon asked. Adam fumbled on his side table to find it, never letting go of Dillon, and then handed it to him. Dillon called his work and told them that he woke up sick and wouldn’t be able to make it in today. They were really great about it and wished him well. He was grateful to be working for such an amazing group of people.

Once that was taken care of, he curled back up into Adam’s side, and they just stayed that way for what seemed like forever. Adam reveled in the quiet comfort that Dillon provided without asking questions.

When Adam felt like he was finally able to get up and move around, they both headed off for quick showers. While Dillon was finishing his, Adam called Landon.

“Hey, buddy, what’s up?” Landon greeted him, far too loudly for Adam to handle.

“I need you to cover my appointments today or reschedule them. I don’t really care; I’m just not coming in today,” Adam relayed to him, not feeling the slightest bit sorry. He knew he hadn’t scheduled himself any appointments but who knew what Landon had put on the books for him.

Landon glanced at the calendar and immediately knew. “Yeah, sure, I got you covered. Take care of yourself today, Adam. Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Adam, are you going to be alright today? Do you need me to come over?” Landon asked. He wasn’t beyond closing the entire shop for the day if it meant he got to spend some alone time with Adam.

“I’ll be fine,” Adam assured him. “I’ve got Dillon, but thanks.”

Adam hung up the phone and Landon stood there trying to get his anger under control. Ever since that boy had come into Adam’s life, Adam didn’t have time for anyone but him. Landon hadn’t spent any quality time with Adam in over a month and that just pissed him off, Adam was his best friend, damn it. Was he the only one who realized that Dillon was no good for Adam, he wondered to himself.

Adam met Dillon in the hallway as they exited their rooms. Adam couldn’t believe how sexy Dillon looked with his hair gelled and the jeans that fit his ass perfectly. He wasn’t in the frame of mind to stop himself from doing something stupid because he just wanted to feel something good. He stalked over to Dillon, whose heart had sped up at the predatory look in Adam’s eyes, and pushed him up against the wall, framing his face with both hands. Adam leaned down and captured Dillon’s lips roughly, taking everything he needed from Dillon, who was willing to give Adam everything he had. Dillon whimpered into Adam’s mouth and parted his lips slightly, which Adam took advantage of and slipped his tongue into Dillon’s mouth, sliding their tongues together.

Adam ravaged Dillon’s mouth, and Dillon tried to keep up but his brain seemed to be malfunctioning. He knew something was wrong with Adam, and he couldn’t let this happen. If Adam really wanted him, he’d have to do it when he was thinking clearly. Dillon pushed lightly against Adam’s chest and then harder when Adam didn’t seem to register. “Adam…” he murmured against soft, warm lips. “Stop.”

That one word did register in Adam’s brain, and he pulled away quickly as if he’d been set on fire, hurt and pain clear in his eyes. He was breathing heavily and still had Dillon caged against the wall. “Why?” he asked, his voice rough with lust.

“I want you to want me, Adam. God, you don’t know how much I want you to want me, but not like this. Not when you are clearly vulnerable and upset or angry about something. When you decide you want me for real, I want you to be completely sure and not just acting on some spontaneous urge.” Dillon tried to convey his genuine sincerity so that he wouldn’t hurt Adam’s feelings any more than he already had, because it was killing him inside to know he was causing any sort of pain on top of whatever it was that was bothering Adam.

Dillon’s words pierced Adam’s heart like an arrow. How could Dillon not see that Adam had wanted him from day one? “Get your shoes on and get in the car,” Adam told him. “I’m taking you somewhere.”

Dillon wasn’t about to deny Adam anything else, so he slipped his shoes on and walked out to the car without another word. It was getting too hot out to leave Parker outside during the afternoon, so Adam put the gate up in the dining room door before they left.

Adam needed Dillon to understand, so he kept driving until the bustle of the city was behind them. He turned several times and finally ended up on an old dirt road leading into the country onto what appeared to be farmland. He pulled off the road, parked, and got out, walking into a field. Adam didn’t say a word the entire drive, so Dillon wasn’t sure what was going on. Instead of staying in the car, he got out and followed Adam, who’d sat on the ground in the middle of the field. Dillon wanted Adam to tell him what was going on.

He walked up behind Adam, who heard his footsteps crunching the ground. “My dad used to farm this field when I was younger, and I can remember all the times he let me come out with him, riding in his combine from sun up until sun down, listening to the old radio and just talking about stuff. Mom and Amy would come out at lunch and dinner time and stand at the edge of the field until he made his way back over to them. We’d get out and have a picnic with them and then get right back to work as soon as we were finished,” Adam reminisced. He patted the ground in front of him, gesturing for Dillon to sit.

Dillon complied, and Adam wrapped his arms around Dillon’s torso, anchoring him to his chest. Dillon leaned back, trusting Adam to support his weight, and rested his head backward on Adam’s shoulder. He had a feeling that the next part of Adam’s story wasn’t going to be a happy memory. “What happened to your parents, Adam?” Dillon whispered, but Adam heard him clearly in the deafening silence of the field.

“On the seventh of May, when I was sixteen, my parents were involved in a head on collision coming home from dinner with some of their friends. Some jackass, who was under the influence, crossed the center line and my dad didn’t have time to react. He died instantly upon impact, but my mom was in critical condition for weeks. She smashed her head into the airbag which caused her brain to swell and put her… in a coma.” Adam’s words were broken as he choked on a sob, but he continued to power through his story. “She broke so many bones I can’t begin to remember them all, but in the end, they said she wasn’t going to recover from the coma so Grams had to make the decision to take her off life support. They did it the day before my birthday, but no one realized that until it was too late. I’ve never seen my grams so devastated in my life. She’s my dad’s mom, y’know, but my mom’s parents died when I was really young so we never really knew them. Mom had Grams listed as her medical power of attorney if something happened to Dad before her.”

Dillon was unsure of what to say, because he didn’t know what it felt like to love a parent that much. He could feel Adam shaking, quiet sobs wracking his body as he cried for the injustice of losing his parents at such a young age. Dillon turned around where he was sitting and spread his legs around Adam’s body, so that they were resting on top of his thighs and hooked around his back. He pulled Adam closer to him and hugged him tight, just holding him and letting him work his emotions out of his system. Adam hadn’t felt such a level of comfort and undeniable support from anyone outside of his immediate family before. He rested his forehead on Dillon’s shoulder and let Dillon surround him completely.

“You know what makes me feel the worst?” Adam finally asked, after many long moments of trying to regain his composure.

“What’s that?” Dillon questioned.

“I almost forgot this year…” he whispered. “How could I almost forget my parents?”