Finding Home (11 page)

“Adam,” Dillon began, his heart breaking at the devastation in Adam’s voice. “You didn’t almost forget your parents. They are a part of you, and you’ll never forget them, ever. Dates aren’t the most important thing in the world, and your parents know that. They wouldn’t want to see you like this; I’m sure of it.”

“I’m happy most of the time, Dillon, but every year around this time, I get sad and depressed. Angry with the world for taking them away from me. Grams and Gramps have done the best they could, and I can never repay them for everything they’ve done, but they’ll never be Mom and Dad, y’know? But this year, you came into my life like a fucking ray of sunshine or something, and I’ve been so swept up in you and how you make me feel that I almost forgot.”

Dillon didn’t know how to take that. He was confused. “Don’t get me wrong,” Adam clarified. “These have been the best weeks I’ve had in a long, long fucking time, but when you accused me of not wanting you… God, Dillon, how can you not see how much I want you? How is it possible that you can’t tell how much restraint it takes every damn day for me not to kiss you? You make me feel alive in a way no one else ever has. You fill a void in my heart that I never knew existed.”

Dillon’s entire face lit up. “Do you mean that?”

Adam placed both hands on Dillon’s face again. “Every. Single. Word.” Then he leaned in and kissed Dillon in the sweetest, most passionate, all-consuming, heart-racing, body-tingling kiss he’d ever had. He tried to pour every single ounce of emotion he was feeling for Dillon into that kiss and Dillon felt it. It set his blood on fire.

“I want you, too, Adam,” Dillon hummed against his lips before pulling back just slightly. “You make me happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. For the first time ever, I feel completely safe and content in my life. You did that for me─you and your family.”

“Dillon, I want nothing more than for you to be my boyfriend, officially. No more guessing or wondering, okay? Will you do that? Will you be my boyfriend?” Adam asked, staring deep into Dillon’s eyes. Dillon felt like Adam was the only person in the world who took the time to really see him, like he was looking into his soul.

“Yes,” Dillon gasped. “Of course, I want that more than anything.” Dillon initiated a kiss that lasted for long moments. He felt like he could do that forever, just sit there and kiss Adam. It was the most amazing feeling in the world to him. He felt wanted and revered and everything he’d never felt in his whole life. Adam leaned in and placed three short, sweet kisses on Dillon’s lips, and Dillon tried to chase his mouth each time he pulled back, which made Adam smile.

“Thank you for bringing me here.” Dillon’s words were sincere. “I know how much this means to you.”

“I’ve never brought anyone out here with me, Dillon. You’re so damn special to me, though, and I wanted to share this with you. I couldn’t bear the thought of coming here alone if I had the option to share it with you,” Adam revealed as he stood up and walked further into the field.

Dillon dusted off his jeans and followed Adam, walking up beside him and reaching up on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. He didn’t say anything, simply letting Adam have his moment, but stood there to support him. Adam gazed out at the field, and, for a moment, he could see the combine sitting on the edge of the field, his father climbing down and bear hugging his mother, picking her up and twirling her around. He could hear her giggle floating on the breeze and saw him and his sister as young children watching from the safety of the picnic blanket. His heart constricted painfully as his mind played tricks on him. His vision blurred and a solitary tear slipped down his cheek and when he blinked to clear his sight, the field was empty again.

Adam turned and Dillon instinctively wrapped his arms around him tightly. Adam stood there soaking in the warmth and strength that Dillon was offering him, until he felt like he was ready to leave. He knew he’d be back again next year, and he really hoped Dillon would be back with him.

On the way home from the field, Adam wouldn’t let go of Dillon’s hand. He’d finally made Dillon his boyfriend, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready to let him go. He knew that there was a possibility that Grams would lecture him, but he was in this for the long haul. He’d never met anyone as wonderful as the man next to him and certainly no one had ever made him feel the way Dillon did. He looked over briefly at Dillon before turning his eyes back to the road and smiled.

“What?” Dillon’s smile was nearly as big as Adam’s. He was happy, but he was also terrified. What was going to happen to him when Adam wised up and realized there was nothing special about him and asked him to leave? He was going to have to leave Omaha, because there was no way in hell that he would be able to still be in the same city as Adam and start over somewhere else.

“I’m just happy,” Adam answered him. “Do you want to go out for an early dinner?”

Dillon thought about it briefly. “I’d rather just go home if that’s alright with you. I don’t need anyone from work seeing me out when they think I’m sick.”

“Good point. I’m sorry you had to call in this morning, Dillon, but I’m not sorry you stayed. Thank you for that.” Adam pulled into the driveway at the house and shut off the ignition. He angled himself in his seat awkwardly toward the middle to face Dillon so he could see how honest he was being. “I don’t think I would have made it through this afternoon without you. It may seem like a small thing that you did for me, but it’s huge.”

Dillon’s heart was guilt ridden. When he thought about Adam and how he’d lost his parents, he felt horrible for being so full of disdain for his own. Then again, Adam had parents who loved him and his sister, while Dillon’s parents rarely remembered he was there. It was a completely different situation, but, still, they were his parents, he should have some love for them, right? He just couldn’t muster up any positive feeling for them.

“Dillon?” Adam put his hand on Dillon’s cheek, caressing his skin. The touch grounded him and brought him back to the present. “Where did you go?” Adam asked.

Dillon shook off the guilty feeling and tried to change the subject, “Can we go inside?”

Once they’d let Parker out, they decided to lie on the couch together and rest. Adam was on his back so that Dillon could wrap himself around Adam’s body, resting his head over his heart. It was cool in the house since the air conditioner had kicked on, so Adam grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and covered them up. Dillon’s mind wouldn’t stop racing with thoughts of guilt. “Do you think I’m a bad person for leaving my parents without telling them where I was going?” he asked quietly, needing to know how Adam felt.

Dillon could feel Adam’s body tense before relaxing again. “Of course not, Dillon. I have absolutely no right to judge you for the choices you made. Things were obviously not good for you there, and I’m proud of you for taking the steps necessary to make your life better.”

“So, you don’t think I’m selfish for leaving when you don’t even have your parents anymore?” Dillon’s eyes began to sting, but he really didn’t want to cry. He felt like he’d done enough of that and wasn’t about to let the tears fall.

“Not at all,” Adam assured him. “I wish things had been different for you.” And he honestly did. Adam knew what it was like to have parents who spent their lives doing everything they could to make sure that he felt safe and loved by telling him every single day. They made sure he knew that they supported him in whatever he wanted to do, and that knowledge meant the world to him. They taught him to have confidence in himself, and they made sure he knew what he was worth. Dillon never had that and it broke Adam’s heart.

Adam tugged Dillon closer to him, wanting to protect him from everything, including himself, and Dillon let him. They fell asleep on the couch and didn’t wake up until the doorbell rang.

*****

It was dark in the living room, and Adam picked up his phone to check the time.
Eight o’clock. How did we sleep so long?
Dillon stirred but didn’t wake completely up as Adam untangled himself to get up and answer the door. He bent down and gently kissed Dillon on the forehead before covering him up and heading toward the door. He could hear Parker barking from the back yard.

He flipped on the hallway light and peaked through the peep hole to discover Landon outside. Adam opened the door and smiled at his friend. “Hey, man! What are you doing here?”

Landon shifted his weight nervously. “I just came by to make sure you were okay. I know you said you had whatshisface with you, but he doesn’t know your history like I do so I wanted to make sure.”

Adam’s face scrunched up in disapproval. “His name is Dillon, Landon, and I know you know that.”

“Can I come in?” Landon asked hopefully.

“Ugh, sure,” Adam agreed and stood back to make room while Landon squeezed in. “Let’s go in the kitchen. Dillon is sleeping on the couch.”

Landon followed him quietly into the kitchen and leaned up against the counter. “You want something to drink?” Adam asked.

“Sure, I’ll take a beer,” Landon replied.

“I don’t have any beer,” Adam told him. “I’ve got Coke, milk, juice, or water.”

Dillon had woken up alone on the couch and wondered where Adam was, until he heard the voices in the kitchen. He headed that way until he realized who was in the kitchen with Adam. He decided to just head to his bedroom until he heard Landon’s reply.

“Seriously? No beer? You always have beer, dude.”

Adam shrugged. “Dillon doesn’t drink, and I won’t drink in front of him, so I just keep it out of the house now. No big deal.” And to Adam, it wasn’t a big deal at all but hearing that Adam was sacrificing things for him made Dillon uneasy.

“So, how’s it going with the kid living here, anyway?” Landon was being a jerk, and Adam was starting to get a bad feeling about Landon being there. He didn’t know where the contempt for Dillon was coming from with his friend, but it was making him angry, and he wasn’t about to stand there and let it happen. “It’s going really well, Lan, and I don’t appreciate the tone you’re using when referring to Dillon. He has a name and this is his place too now, so if you insist on disrespecting him then you can show yourself out.” Adam shot him a hard glare that left no doubt that he meant business, and Dillon couldn’t help but smile to himself when he heard Adam defend him like that.

Adam was appeased when Landon had the decency to look remorseful. “I’m sorry, Adam. It just seems like ever since you started hanging out with him, you haven’t had time for anyone else, and we miss you.” He looked up directly into Adam’s eyes and tried to convey his sincerity. “I miss you,” he said softly. Dillon could hear the longing in Landon’s voice that confirmed the feeling that he’d gotten the first time he’d met him. Landon definitely wanted Adam for himself.

“I know,” Adam answered. “And I’m sorry I haven’t spent much time with you guys lately, but it’s been a really long time since I’ve been so happy, and I’m enjoying my time with Dillon. I’ll try to make some time soon.”

“So, what else have you given up besides beer and your friends since he’s been here?” Landon asked rather rudely.

Adam had had enough of the attitude and his hand came down hard on the on the counter, echoing throughout the kitchen and startling both Landon and Dillon, who was still hiding in the hallway. “Alright, I’ve had enough of your damn attitude,” Adam roared angrily. “I don’t know what the hell is going on with you, or where the fuck your problem with Dillon came from, but he’s my goddamn boyfriend now, and you will treat him with respect or you will no longer be allowed in my house. Do you understand me?”

Landon’s eyes were wide with shock at being yelled at, but he nodded slightly. “Good, now I think you should go. I appreciate you covering for me today and coming to check on me, but you’ve pissed me off now, and I really don’t want to see you right now.”

Landon left without another word. When he noticed Dillon in the hallway, he turned and glowered at him, causing Dillon to shrink back against the wall. He was nervous and on the verge of afraid, which didn’t help his anxiety. When Landon finally opened the door and disappeared, Dillon was able to release his breath, and he tried to let go of the fear.

When he wasn’t able to shake the feeling, he walked through the dining room and straight into Adam’s arms, where he needed to be in that moment to feel safe again. Adam didn’t question his motives, he just held Dillon until he was breathing normally again. “I don’t want you to give things up because of me,” Dillon told him. “I overheard a part of your conversation with Landon.”

“I’m not giving up anything important, Dil,” Adam promised him with a kiss to the top of his head.

“But time with your friends is important,” Dillon argued. “I don’t want you to start to resent me because of the things you gave up. I want you to spend time with them like you used to. I can handle being alone here sometimes while you go out.”

“I’m not going to resent you, Dillon,” Adam countered. “But if it will make you feel better, I’ll set something up with the guys for later this week.”

Dillon nodded. “That would make me feel better.”

“Done,” Adam assured him. “I’ve got to let Parker in. Meet me in my room for a movie?”

“Okay.”

*****

Dillon headed toward the bathroom to get ready for bed and twenty minutes later, he entered Adam’s room. Adam was already in bed, wearing nothing but his boxers, and he patted the spot next to him, indicating that he wanted Dillon there. Once Dillon was settled, Adam queued up a movie and hit play.

Adam took Dillon’s hand in his. “Thank you for being here with me today,” he whispered.

Dillon tilted his head so he could look up into Adam’s eyes. “You’re welcome. Thank you for sharing it with me. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

Adam slowly leaned forward until his lips were lightly pressed against Dillon’s, who lifted his hand slowly, skimming lightly along Adam’s skin until his fingers were threaded in Adam’s hair. Dillon was still getting used to kissing Adam, but he loved every second of it. Adam slipped his tongue past Dillon’s lips and enjoyed being able to touch him so freely. They kissed for quite a long time, getting lost in each other completely. Every time Dillon tried to move to take off his own shirt, Adam would cover his hands to stop him and guide them back to where they’d been wrapped around his neck. Dillon could feel Adam smiling against his lips, and it frustrated the hell out of him.

Dillon’s dick was so hard he felt like he was going to explode at any minute, but he didn’t want to embarrass himself like that in front of Adam. “Please…” he pleaded in a desperate whisper. Adam acted instinctively, pulling Dillon’s sleep pants out of the way and gripping his cock tightly. Just a few strokes had Dillon coming all over Adam’s hand, groaning his relief into Adam’s mouth. Adam had refused to stop kissing Dillon at any point. He’d only just been granted the privilege, and he never wanted to stop savoring his boyfriend. That thought made him ecstatic.

Dillon was completely embarrassed by his pitiful begging and wondered briefly if Adam would still want him when he found out that Dillon was a virgin. Then he questioned why Adam had halted all of his previous attempts at taking it further. All of the thoughts racing through his head were totally killing his buzz, so he pulled away from Adam, who kept chasing Dillon’s lips until he realized that Dillon was stopping. He rested his forehead against Dillon’s. “What’s the matter, babe?”

Dillon didn’t want to sound too pathetic or needy. “My lips need a rest,” he chuckled, but Adam saw right through it. “Dillon,” Adam used his serious tone. “What’s wrong?”

Adam sat back and cocked his head to the side, waiting for Dillon to answer. Dillon sat there quietly for a few minutes and then thought it best to just be honest and get it out in the open. “I’m a virgin,” he admitted ashamedly.

“And?” Adam asked as if prompting him for the rest of the problem.

“It’s embarrassing and pathetic,” Dillon supplied, hanging his head. “I just creamed myself within seconds of you touching me.”

Adam busted out laughing, and Dillon’s head shot up, glaring at him. “It’s not funny, asshole.”