Finding Me (15 page)

I slipped and slid all the way from the business school building. I’d never given much thought to what the North Pole looked like, but I’d bet upstate New York held a close resemblance. Winter had turned the lush rolling campus landscape into icy death-traps.

I shot a good morning text to Owen on my way to philosophy class, texting quickly so I could put my gloves back on. He got back on Saturday but his coach had been running the team ragged because of the long break. We only had time for a five-minute phone call before he passed out last night.

I’d been dreaming about our reunion for days after missing him for weeks. Now he was right here and I couldn’t see him yet. I wanted Owen, and I wanted him
now
. The longing from afar was getting on my nerves.

I sighed at my blank phone screen when I arrived at the liberal arts building. The dejected face I spied in my reflection as I opened the glass door was almost comical. I stomped the slush off my boots as a familiar arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me back.

“There she is!” My head snapped in the direction of the deep voice behind me. Owen.
My God, he was beautiful.
The smile across his face lifted his cold-reddened cheeks. He arched a playful eyebrow under his knit hat and I squealed as I wrapped my arms around him. Owen laughed and picked me up by the waist. I couldn’t wrap my legs all the way around him under my down coat but my arms clung on to his neck for dear life.

Owen pulled my hood down and chuckled. “You in there, City?” Grabbing his face, I took his lips in a fierce kiss. I clutched his jacket and moaned into his mouth. When his tongue caressed mine, the tingles between my legs made me grip him even harder. The bristles of stubble around his mouth scraped my skin but I didn’t care. I wanted to be as close to him as I could get in a public place and under four layers of clothing.

Owen dropped me back to the ground and slid his arms around my waist. My breathing was heavy as I buried my head into his chest.

“I missed you a little.”

Owen chuckled and lifted my head to kiss my lips. “Just a little? I missed you a lot. I’ve been a moody bastard since I got here. All because I couldn’t see my girl yet.” I pulled him by the neck into another kiss. After spending weeks yearning for those lips, now that I had them back it was impossible to pull away.

“Bella? Um . . . we should get inside the classroom,” Laura stumbled out with a laugh behind me. My little reunion with Owen made it completely slip my mind that Laura and I had philosophy together this semester and she was supposed to wait for me outside class.

“Happy New Year, Laura,” Owen murmured while still kissing me. He gave Laura a side wave.

I groaned and dropped my forehead to Owen’s chest. “I better go. See you later?”

A smirk tickled the side of his mouth before he inched his lips toward my ear and sucked on my earlobe. “I told you. You’re staying with me,” he whispered into my ear. “You.
Naked.
In my bed.”

The shudder that rushed through my system had nothing to do with the subzero temperatures outside. “All our time apart made you a caveman.” I bit Owen’s bottom lip and chuckled at the growl that escaped his throat.

“No, my smoking hot girlfriend teasing me over Skype is what made me a caveman.” Owen nuzzled my neck. “When I get you home, I’m going to put you over my shoulder—”

“Ahem.” A skinny bald man stood in the classroom doorway and glared at us. I assumed he was my professor. “Mr. Thompson, is there somewhere you need to be?”

“Sorry, Professor Ryan. Just walking my girl to class, sir.” Owen gave me a sheepish grin and kissed my forehead.” He mouthed ‘later’ against my swollen lips before he sauntered away.

“Good morning, Professor. Sorry.” My cheeks heated in embarrassment as I slid into a seat next to Laura. A smile was plastered on my face as I reached into my bag for my notebook. I suddenly didn’t give a shit about the snow in my hair or the fifty pages I already had to read tonight.

An Owen fix was better than coffee.

“Hey, Bella. Happy New Year!” Ethan greeted me with a warm smile as I strolled through their apartment door. I followed him up the stairs with my overnight bag.

“Make yourself at home. Help yourself to whatever food you can find in the kitchen. We should probably go shopping.” Ethan gave me a smirk as he strode back to his room.

Owen had to run drills after his classes and asked me to meet him at the apartment. I laughed to myself as I settled into his room. If my parents only knew where I was right now. I wasn’t even allowed to have Christian at the house alone, and the door to my room couldn’t close when he did come over. Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you looked at it, his parents didn’t have the same rule. This was one hundred percent different. The things I did with Owen, and planned to do, were on a different level than dry humping until we heard the doorknob turn.

“Hey,” Ethan called from the hallway, pulling me from my thoughts and scaring the crap out of me. “I’m heading out until tomorrow morning, and Andy isn’t supposed to come home tonight. You okay by yourself?”

“Sure, don’t worry about me.” I sat on Owen’s bed with my legs folded under me. At least that eased my mind about them hearing us. It also gave me an idea I wasn’t sure I had the guts to pull off.

I jogged to the window and watched Ethan drive the truck the guys shared out of the lot. Owen said he’d be here before seven, and it was six forty-five. I gazed over at the tiny desk where Owen kept his books and laptop and noticed a shot of us from the Halloween party tacked onto his bulletin board. We looked so blissfully happy it was nauseating. Owen was holding me from behind and I held his hammer above my head. Both of us beamed at the camera. I shuddered at the memory of getting acquainted with his other hammer up against the wall the same night.

It
was
recently his birthday. And he’d been crystal clear about one thing he wanted. I shut the blinds in his room and stripped off my clothes, leaving on only the bra and panties I modeled for Owen on Skype. Along with food shopping, maybe the boys should’ve checked the heat too. I shivered as I crawled into Owen’s bed and pulled the sheets and blanket up to my neck. Gooseflesh broke out on my skin as I dropped the back of my head onto Owen’s pillow in defeat. Seduction wasn’t my thing.

“City, you better be in here!” Owen called from the front door as he stomped up the stairs. “I’m sorry Ethan left you alone; I didn’t realize they both wouldn’t be—” He froze in the doorway and gaped at me. I shrugged and pulled my hand out from under the covers to wave.

“Bella, are you . . .” Owen nodded in my direction, his emerald eyes dark and wide.

“Naked and in your bed. Per your request.” I grinned as I pulled the sheets down a bit to show Owen his homecoming outfit. I leaned forward and rested on my elbows. The bra pushed my boobs up so high they were almost up to my neck. “Happy belated birthday!”

Owen blinked, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He shook his head as he kicked off his sneakers.

“You know,” he chuckled as he lifted his T-shirt over his head. The sight of his glorious chest flexing as he unbuckled his pants and kicked them off made my mouth water. “It would be nice to undress you one of these days. Not that I mind walking into my bedroom and finding you naked and waiting.” His lips curled up as he climbed in next to me.

“Well, I’m not totally naked. I still have my underwear on.” I ran my index finger along the lacy strap and pulled it down over my shoulder.

“Don’t. You. Dare. I get to do that. Lie back. I want to open my present.” Owen lowered his lips to mine, giving me a gentle peck before he licked the seam of my lips. I groaned and grabbed at his neck to pull him closer.

“Making the noise already? C’mon, City. Make me work for it a little.” I smacked his shoulder before he crashed his lips against mine. I
was
a little preheated. When his tongue dipped into my mouth, my hips bucked off the bed and my nails dragged down his back. I kicked the covers off as Owen planted kisses down my jaw and over the swells of my breasts. He traced over the straps with his fingertips before pulling one down and sucking a nipple into his mouth.

“Holy shit, City,” Owen whispered as he gazed up to meet my eyes. “This present is even better in person.”

His hands were everywhere, cupping my other breast then reaching behind me to unclasp my bra and throw it on the floor. I pulled at his hair as he trailed kisses down my body.

Owen slid his hand into my flimsy panties and gasped. “You’re dripping wet, baby. Listen, this first time, I may not last. I’m about to burst.” Owen’s husky and tortured voice brought me to the point of bursting, too.

I sat up and smashed my mouth against his. “I need you. Please,” I begged. Owen’s tongue darted in and out of my greedy mouth with the same penetrating motion I wanted between my legs. Not taking my lips from his, he reached into his nightstand drawer and pulled out a condom. He started to roll it on when I caught his hand.

“Can I?” Owen answered with a quick nod. I teased it down his length inch by slow, delicious inch before he swatted my hand away with a grunted curse and finished the job himself.

“Was that . . . wrong?” I crinkled my nose.

Owen shook his head as he climbed on top of me. “No, sweetheart. That was very,
very
right. I don’t want to blow before I’m even inside you.”

Owen yanked my panties off and slid in with one hard thrust, in contrast to how gentle he was our first time. He rocked into me as I bucked my hips off the bed to match his pace. The intensity made my body quiver under him. I cried out as tremors ran through me but bit my lip and dropped my head into Owen’s neck.

“No, baby. Show me how much you love it. I need to hear you.”

At that, the throbbing became unbearable. I came apart in his arms and held on to him as he grunted through his release.

Owen collapsed onto my chest. I ran my hands through his damp hair as sweat dripped off his brow.

I kissed the top of his forehead as he laughed in my arms.

“Now that was a present worth waiting for.” He rested his chin on my chest as he gazed up at me. “Do you have any idea how much I missed you? Never again. We’ll figure out a way to see each other next time.”

I shook my head. “How? Savannah is kind of a long drive from Queens. How do you think we can close that distance?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll find a way.” The earnest expression in his eyes was odd. He got rid of the condom and crawled back into bed. He pulled me onto his chest and gazed down at me.

“I . . . I love you, Bella.” I lifted my head from his chest and sat straight up. Owen sucked in his bottom lip as he looked away.

“I didn’t want to tell you like . . . this.
Damnit!
” Owen sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“What’s wrong with this?” I wrinkled my brow at Owen. It almost seemed as though the words accidentally slipped out, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Why would he care how he told me?

“You know, more . . . romantic, I guess.”

I tilted my head and smirked. “Why? You usually plan something bigger?”

“I’ve never told a girl I loved her before.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You haven’t?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean. And I mean it now. I love you. I hated being away from you. I—”

I cut Owen off with a passionate kiss. I kissed him deep and hard in the hopes he wouldn’t notice the words I couldn’t repeat back. Did I love him?
Yes
, with everything I had. So, why couldn’t I say it? We had a long road ahead of tearful goodbyes and long separations that already filled me with dread. He had my heart, but for some reason I could only show him, not tell him. Fear was a pesky boomerang I couldn’t escape.

“Your dad is gonna kick my ass if I take you to Savannah, isn’t he? My mom asked me to bring you down for Spring Break.”

“Mmm, probably.” I pressed a kiss to his chin. “I’ve seen you on the ice, though. You move pretty fast. Should be easy to run away.”

“I’d never run from my sky full of stars. If he doesn’t let you go, I’ll find a way to get to New York.” Owen covered my mouth with his. This time, instead of desperate, this kiss was sweet. It was slow, sensual, and full of promises. I fought hard to let myself believe each one.