Finding My Way (31 page)

“Wow, I don’t know
what to say.  I would love that!  Thank you Julia.”  I cannot
hide my excitement.

“Don’t thank me yet
we have to find a receptionist first, and whoever we hire they will have big
shoes to fill.”  I feel almost winded by her compliment.

We spend the next ten
or so minutes working up an advertisement for my replacement. 
My
replacement!
  I leave Julia’s office gushing, I probably said thank
you at least ten times!

When Sophie passes
the reception reigns back over to me (again).  She gives me a smug smile
and a nod that I can’t make sense of, but I figure that she must have known
what my meeting with Julia was all about.

“So you heard?” 
I ask her unable to wipe the smile off my face.

“Oh yes, I’ve heard
all about it.”  She answers nodding at me.

“So you don’t mind
that we will be working together?”

“Working
together?”  She looks confused.

“That’s what our
meeting was about,” that only makes her look even more confused, so I add, “my
meeting with Julia?”

“Huh?”

“Julia’s helping me
to learn more about the company, I will be her shadow for a bit and then
eventually I will be working with you in graphics.”

“Really?
 
That’s a surprise!  Oh wow, that’s sounds great, we need another girl in
that department, I’m sick of being the only one.  How exciting! 
You’re having all the fun lately!  Well I better get
back,
I’ve got a mountain of work at the moment.”

“Sophie?”  I
call out to her when she reaches the corridor corner.

“Yes?”  She
walks back to my desk.

“What did you mean
before when you said you’d ‘heard all about it?’ 
When
you obviously hadn’t.”

“Oh
yeah.
  Sorry, I thought the smile on your face was all due to with
Seth.”  My heart skips a beat when she mentions his name.  “He told
me
all
about your date.”  She winks at me and walks away with a big
smile on her face.

My cheeks flame
instantly as my heart jumps around in my chest.  In all my rushing around
this morning and the surprising outcome of my meeting with Julia, I realise
that I totally forgot about Seth.  I wonder what Sophie meant by
that.  What did Seth say to her?  She smiled and winked at me. 
What does that mean?  Is that good or bad?  If I didn’t already know
that Sophie was gay, I would probably see the fact that she’s been speaking to
Seth about me, as a threat.  I jump when the phone rings.  Yep must
stop daydreaming and actually get some work done.

***

My stomach rumbles at
about two o’clock reminding me that I have not eaten all day.  Sitting in
the kitchen eating a sandwich that I got from the deli downstairs I am startled
when I see Seth taking a seat beside me.  I’ve been so busy that this is
the first time I have seen him all day.

“Hey,” I manage to
mumble with a mouth full of food.

“Hello.  Sorry I
didn’t mean to make you jump.”  He says looking at me intently.  I
notice that he has a steaming cup of coffee in front of him.  He must have
been in the kitchen a while if he just made that.

“Sorry, I was deep in
thought.”  I blush.

“So I noticed.”
 
He smiles his brilliant sexy smile at
me.  “I wasn’t sure you were in today.  I looked for you at your desk
a couple times.”  My heart suddenly starts to beat faster hearing that.

“I slept in, I was
late.”  I shrug.  
“Hey good news!
 
Julia has offered me a new position… kind of… I will be working with her
instead of reception, learning the ropes.”

“Wow!  That’s
great!  What about designing though?  Isn’t that what you wanted to
do?”  It makes me happy that he remembered our conversation.

“Working with Julia
will be temporary, so I can see a project through, start to
finish,
eventually I will be put in the graphics department though.”

“I’m happy for you
Emma, that’s really good,” he says sincerely and with such warmth that I
can just feel myself falling for this guy.  He is just so genuine and
kind. 

Taking another bite
of my lunch, I find it hard to look away from his beautiful brown eyes. 
When I see his eyes looking down to my mouth I stop chewing, suddenly feeling
self-conscious.  I see him swallow and then he reaches over and wipes the
corner of my mouth with his finger.

“Mayo?” he chuckles,
holding his index finger in front of my face.  I nod and slowly
re-commence chewing.  When he puts his finger in his mouth to suck the
mayonnaise off it, I almost choke on my food.

“Sorry to interrupt,
I need your help Seth,” Sophie smiles knowingly from the doorway.

Seth blushes and
stands up.
 
Walking to the door, coffee
in hand, he turns back to me, “Congratulations Emma!  I’ll speak to you
later.”

“Bye,” I mumble,
momentarily lost in his eyes.  It takes him a moment before he turns away,
which makes me think that maybe he is just as drawn to me as I am to him, well
I hope so anyway.  Sophie lets out a little chuckle before she follows
Seth down the corridor.  Just what has Seth been saying about me? 
She definitely knows something I don’t.

“I’m sorry about the
interruption Seth,” Sophie says as we round the corner and enter her
office.  “It’s probably a good thing I did interrupt anyway, that room was
filled with so much sexual tension.  Not a good thing at the office, you
never know how that may end up.”  She says wiggling her eyebrows at me
with a wicked grin yet again.

I feel the heat rise
in my cheeks again as Sophie explains her current issue with the computer
system.  I’m unable to give her my full attention though as I continue to
obsess over Emma.  Yeah I’ll admit it, my sister was right, I am consumed
with thoughts of Emma.  All day I have tried to catch a glimpse of
her.  I had almost convinced myself that she wasn’t at work at all, or
even worse, she was avoiding me.

My heart skipped a
beat when I entered the kitchen to see her sitting there.  When I was
making a coffee and she didn’t even lift her head to notice me I must admit
that I was a little hurt that she didn’t feel my presence like I do hers. 
I feel such a pull towards her and she hadn’t even noticed me being in the same
room.  But then, when I sat beside her and all doubt left me.  After
the initial shock wore off, I saw on her face a smile so bright when she looked
up at me, it made me feel positive that she was just as attracted to me as I
was to her.

Her face lit up even
more, but in a different way, when she told me of her meeting with Julia and
the changes that were happening for her at G & C.  Her happiness
rubbed off on me and suddenly the connection to her felt even stronger still.

However, Sophie may
have a point.  Wiping mayonnaise from the side of Emma’s mouth may not
have been the smartest move.  The wide eyes that she gave me when I put my
finger in my mouth had me thinking of all sorts of things.
 
If Sophie hadn’t come in to the kitchen right
then I’m not sure I could have continued to behave in an appropriate manner for
the workplace.  I’m guessing that employees making out in the lunchroom may
be frowned upon.  I’ll have to keep a check on that.

***

Unfortunately Emma is
still in Julia’s office at the end of the day and it looks as though they will
be a while.  So I don’t wait too long until I poke my head in to say
goodbye to them both.  Emma just nods and smiles at me but she looks a
little disappointed too which is exactly as I feel.

I have trouble
entering the train station, as it turns out the ticket I purchased this morning
needed to be validated, of course not being a regular on public transport I had
no idea.  After seeking some help from an attendant who gets my ticket
stamped, or whatever, I then wait at the wrong platform for a good twenty
minutes.  Then after realising my mistake, I finally make my way to the
correct platform just in time to catch the next train before it leaves. 
By this stage I’m am panting and flustered thinking “could my experience with
public transport get any worse?”  So the last thing I expect is for
someone to call out my name.  I do a double-take when I realise that it’s
Emma. 

“Seth!” she calls
again as she motions for me to take the empty seat next to her.  She looks
just as surprised to see me, as I am to see her.  “What are you doing
here?” 
she
asks.

“No car, remember?” I
reply, still trying to catch my breath.

“Oh right.  You
usually drive.  But you left work ages ago.  I thought you were long
gone.”

“I was at the wrong
platform,” I embarrassingly admit.  “I am not used to catching the
train.”  She laughs as she shakes her head.  It’s music to my ears. 
“I wish I had of known that you caught this train too.  I would’ve looked
out for you this morning,” I fib.  She doesn’t need to know that it’s
all
I did this morning.  What are the odds that we would be on the same train
now?

“Well you wouldn’t
have found me.”  
I can’t believe he’s here on the train. 
Seth
looks at me quizzically.  “I was late, remember?”

“Right,” he says
as he scoots closer to me to allow an elderly woman to sit beside him. 
“Why do you catch the train when you have a car?”

“When I started at G
& C there weren’t any spaces left in the car park and parking in the city
is a nightmare so…”

“I’ve got your spot
haven’t I?”  He exclaims, realising that I was waiting for a spot to
become available.  And yes, Bob’s spot may have gone to me if Seth didn’t
take it.

“Possibly,” I answer,
he tries to speak but I interrupt him, “It doesn’t matter, I’m doing my bit for
global warming.  Plus I enjoy catching the train, it give me time to just
‘be’
you know?”

“Huh,” he looks at me
thoughtfully and I wonder what he is thinking.  “I know exactly what you
mean,” he replies to my unspoken question.

We sit in silence for
a few moments.  Surprisingly though, I feel totally at ease.

“So what were you
listening to?” he asks motioning to my earphones that I took out when I saw
Seth hop on the train, they are now sitting in my lap.

“Ben Howard,” I
answer.

“I don’t think I’ve
heard of him,” he replies.

“Oh well you’re
missing out.  He is amazing.  He has a beautiful voice.  His
lyrics are… poetic, and his music, well, it’s mesmerizing.  The way he
plays guitar…”  I realise I am gushing.  Seth seems to like that fact
though and listens to me intently.  “Here,” I say thrusting the earphones
towards him, “have a listen.”

Seth puts the earphones
in and I search through the song list and pick ‘Keep Your Head Up’. 

“Now close your
eyes.”

“Why?” he asks, as he
eyes me curiously, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Because
the best way to truly appreciate good music is to block out all other senses.”
He hesitates looking at me with an odd look on his face.  “Trust me.”

He does what he’s
told and I press play.  He leans back with his head against the
window.  Crossing his arms over his chest and stretching out his long
legs, crossing them at the ankles.  He looks so peaceful.  This is
probably the best opportunity I have had to scrutinize his whole body so
closely.  He’s so handsome, his biceps look strong, his figure lean. 
He obviously looks after himself.  I notice that his foot is tapping
slightly.  I watch his face for a reaction to the music but he gives
nothing away.  For some reason I want him to love this music.  So far
we have had such similar tastes that I think I would be gutted if he didn’t
agree with me on this too.

Suddenly he opens his
eyes and catches me staring at his face.  I want to look away but I
can’t.  “Again,” he says eventually.  That one simple word sends a
thrill through me.  It is the way he says it, demanding and hot.  It
takes me a moment before I realise that he wants me to replay the song.  I
flick back to the beginning again.  He passes me one of the earphones and
I scoot a little closer to him so I can listen too.

As we both listen to
the song I am acutely aware that our bodies are touching.  Our shoulders,
forearms, hips, thighs… I keep my hands in my lap, but I really want to reach
out and touch him in some way, or to hold one of his hands that are sitting in
his lap.  I look at his face and see that his eyes are closed again, so I
close mine too.  I lean back against the window.  We listen to the
song and I start to move my foot a little in time to the music.  I sneak a
peek out of one eye and giggle when I catch him doing the same thing.  He
opens his other eye, looks at me and then quickly shuts his eyes again with wide
smirk gracing his face.

When the song ends I
open my eyes again, stop the iPhone from playing the next song and look to
Seth.  “So what did you think?”

“It’s good, I like
it,” he says handing back the earphone as I take mine out and I can’t help
but be reminded of the movie Garden State, as if we just replayed
that
scene.

“I have been
listening to this album over and over, since I discovered him a couple of
months back.”

“Any particular
reason you chose that song to show me?”

“Um
no.”
 
Whatever does he mean?

“I mean out of all
the songs from the album… ‘I’ve been away… The warmth of your smile... 
I’m happy to have you home’,” he says reciting some of the lyrics, I love and I
realise he
really
listened to the song.  “
Kinda
appropriate don’t you think?”  He looks at me and can see my obvious
confusion.  “I feel like that relates to you… I mean you seem like you
have been away somewhere.  Sorry I don’t mean to embarrass you.  I
just mean… well that you seem different, this past week, more approachable… less
guarded.”