Finding My Way (35 page)

“Good morning.” 
Emma smiles before she kisses me quickly once more and then pushes me
away.  “Now get out.”  She chuckles.  I walk towards the door
but when my hand reaches for the handle she whispers, “
wait
…” 
I face her as she strolls over to me, “I’ll just check if the coast is clear.”

I pull back a little
so that she can open the door.  She pokes her head out, I lean into the
back of her and I feel, rather than hear, her breath hitch as she stiffens.

“We still on for
dinner tonight?”  Seth whispers against my neck as he leans over me. 
His deep voice, his warm breath sends chills through me.  Like I wasn’t
already turned on enough by that kiss!

“Yes,” I reply
shakily and lean back into him as I push the door closed.  “The coast is
clear.”

“Right.”
 
I feel him shift behind me.  “Um, well I need you to move then.”

“Right,” I reply and
reluctantly move to the side so he can leave the bathroom.  When the door
closes behind him, I lean against it to catch my breath.  My eyes wander
over to the crumpled paper towel on the floor, the paper towel that I just
dropped when Seth seared me with that kiss.  I collect it and place it in
the bin.  I catch my reflection in the mirror and am surprised at just how
flushed my cheeks are.  I reach for some more paper towel and wipe away
what little dampness is left on my neck and chest.  There’s very little as
Seth heated my skin so much I practically self-dried.  I check myself in
the mirror one last time and then leave the bathroom to go to Julia’s office,
surely ten minutes have passed by now.

When I step out into
the corridor, Pete rounds the corner.

“Hey
Seth!”
  He looks me up and down.  “What happened?”

“Huh?” I look
down and see that my shirt and trousers are slightly dampened from having a wet
Emma in my arms.  I was so pre-occupied that I didn’t even realise. 
“Oh, uh, problem with a tap in the bathroom,” I fumble, “I should be more
careful.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles
and continues to walk by me.  When I get near the end of the corridor, I
turn around to see Emma leaving the bathroom.  Our eyes meet and she
smiles brightly at me and then bites her bottom lip before turning to walk
away.  I find it very hard to sit comfortably at my desk after that.

***

When lunchtime rolls
around I go to a little café down the road with Pete.  I really wanted to
take Emma to lunch but she was busy with Julia and as we still haven’t spoken
about things, I’m not sure if she wants people at work to find out that we are
together or not.

“So I was speaking to
Shaun and he said you haven’t called him.”

“Sorry,
who?”

“Shaun, Jazz’s
brother.”

“Oh right.  No
not yet.  Not sure about what I want to do just yet.”

“That’s
cool,
I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t lost his card or
anything.  He mentioned that he just got a few new listings for apartments
for rent this week.”

“Right.”

“Okay what’s wrong
with you?”  Pete asks putting his head in my line of sight across the
table.  I had been staring off into space but hadn’t realised until he did
that.

“Huh?”

“Well you are
obviously pre-occupied with something.”

“Me?  No I’m
fine,” I protest, shaking my head.

“Well I can see that
by the smile on your face.”

I hadn’t realised I
was smiling.

“What’s got you so
happy?”
 
Pete asks.

I want to tell
someone about Emma but I’m not sure if she would want Pete to know about
us.  So I ignore his question and take another bite of my sandwich. 
He just sighs and shakes his head with a smile playing on his lips.

“What?”  I ask.

“Oh
nothing.
  I just know that look, it must be a girl.”  He looks
at me then with an all-knowing smirk.  I nod my head but don’t say
anything.  “I get it.  You don’t want to talk about it.  I won’t
say another word,” he says with a laugh as he puts his hands up in
surrender.

And he doesn’t say
another word about it.  The topic of conversation moves to other, more
mundane things as we finish up our lunch and then head back to work.

I offered to drive
Emma home from work when we made our arrangements for dinner tonight but she
insisted that she wanted to catch the train home to get ready for our
date.  So when I leave the office at the end of the day all I get from her
is a casual goodbye.
 
It’s horrible, when
all I want to do is kiss her and let everyone know that we are now together.

After our little
rendezvous in the bathroom this morning, I don’t get to speak to Seth again
until home time.  I tried my hardest all day to concentrate on work and
not let my mind drift back to Seth
or Nick
.  Luckily, Julia has
kept me busy enough that it has actually not been too hard. 
Yeah
right!

Now Julia has left
for the day and I am just putting the finishing touches on one last email when
Seth walks into reception.

“Hey,” he says as he
leans over the side of my desk.

“Hey, you finished?”

“Yep and I’m so happy
about that.”  He beams at me.  Then Pete comes down the corridor
behind him.  “So, um, have a good night Emma,” Seth says and then
turns to walk to the elevator with Pete.

“Yeah
you too.
  Bye Seth.”  I say trying to sound casual, then yell
out a, “See
ya
Pete!” 

“Good night Emma, see
you tomorrow,” Pete replies looking at me over his shoulder as they both reach
the elevator.

I pretend to be
enthralled in something on my computer screen but can’t fight the urge to
glance in Seth’s direction as he waits for the elevator.  He has his back
to
me,
his business shirt is tucked into his nicely
fitted trousers giving me a perfect view of his tight arse.  My eyes work
their way back up to his shoulders and he seems a little tense.  I can
just tell that he is itching to turn around and quit pretending that we are
nothing more than work colleagues, I’m sure of it.

When I hear the ding
of the elevator doors, I look up once more and catch Seth’s eyes just as the
doors are closing.  The intensity of those brown eyes sends a thrill
through me once more.  His lips curve into a sexy smile just as he
disappears from sight and I suddenly cannot wait to finish work for the
day.  I quickly complete the email and then shut down my computer. 
Switching the phones to night mode, putting my jacket on and grabbing my bag, I
leave the office in record time.

***

At quarter to seven,
I am seated on my couch waiting for Seth to arrive.  I’m wearing a pale
blue floral baby-doll dress and my grey trench coat.  I have on a pair of
grey strappy-heeled sandals.  I’ve curled my hair, put on my make-up and
for once am ready early.  I haven’t seen or heard from Nick and am trying
desperately not to think about him and the mess I created this morning.  I
hear a knock at the door and my heart jumps to my throat.

“I know we said seven
but I just couldn’t wait any longer,” Seth greets me as I open the door. 
He’s wearing a pair of tight dark denim skinny jeans and a black button up
shirt with black boots and he’s holding a bunch of flowers out towards
me.  He looks absolutely gorgeous.  I feel my cheeks heat up as I
take him in and his eyes wander over me too.  “You look great!”  He
beams at me.

“Thanks,
you too.”
  I take the flowers from him, “and thank you for
these.  I’ll uh, just…”  I wander off in the direction of the kitchen
leaving Seth at the door.  I grab a vase and quickly toss the flowers in
with some water.  I do it in a rush because I’m suddenly feeling very
nervous.  Flashes of our heated kiss this morning make me not want to
leave the apartment at all.
 
Then I want
to slap myself for thinking about sex again, I need to pull myself together and
get through dinner.  I walk out the door and lock it behind me. 
“Ready,” I say with a sigh as Seth’s eyes meet mine.  He gives me a quick
peck on the cheek then grabs my hand and pulls me towards the stairs.

“I thought we could
get some Thai food. 
Unless you want something else?”

“Thai sounds good,” I
reply as we make our way down the stairs and out to his car.  The rain
from this morning was gone by lunchtime but new clouds have formed, threatening
to rain again at any moment.  “Maybe I should have brought my umbrella.”

“I wish you had of
thought of that this morning,” Seth says and squeezes my hand, “it was so hard
to keep my hands off you.”

“If I remember
correctly, you didn’t,” I laugh, raising my eyebrows at him as we reach his
car.

“That’s right, I
remember it going…” he says encircling my waist and pulling me into him. 
When our mouths connect, my arms automatically wrap around his neck just as
they did this morning too.  His tongue enters my mouth and I start to feel
weak at the knees.  He holds me tighter and a moan escapes my lips before
he pulls back.  “…a little something like that.”

“
Mmm
good morning.”
  I breathe out before we
both laugh.

***

A short while later
we are seated at a small Thai restaurant waiting for our meals to arrive. 
Seth and I have been comfortably chatting non-stop about our families and
gossiping about our colleagues when all of a sudden there’s a lull in the
conversation.

“So,” Seth says.

“So,” I say back,
it’s kind of becoming our thing.

“I was wondering
about us…” he trails off with a grin.

“Us?”
I ask, having no idea where this is going.

“Well us and
work.”  He pauses.  “Emma, I don’t want to pretend that nothing’s
happening between us when we’re at work."

“Oh.”

“I really like you
and
I-
”

“Seth I… can we just
give it a little bit more time?”

“I want everyone to
know that you’re with me,” he says seriously and possessively his words
spreading a welcomed warmth through me.  Am I
with
him though?

“But Seth, we’ve only
just-”

“You’re right. 
Sorry, I don’t mean to push things.  Forget I said anything.”  He
smiles reassuringly.

But I can’t
forget.  For some crazy reason this gorgeous guy wants to be with me and I
am in awe of that fact.  At the same time though, am I ready to be outed
as a couple with him?  At work?  It could complicate things. 
We’ve barely even started… and what about Nick?

Avoiding Seth’s eyes
I take a large gulp of water.  What am I doing?  I like Seth and yet
my thoughts keep returning to Nick and my impending booty call.  Ugh! 
I’m an idiot!

I don’t know why I
had to bring it up.  I can’t help the way I feel about Emma.  I am so
drawn to her that I can’t control my mouth sometimes.  However, it’s too
soon for her and I have to respect that. 
Doesn’t make
it any easier to swallow though.

Looking at her
glorious green eyes, I can tell that what was turning out to be a perfect date
I have now ruined by pushing her too much.  When will I ever learn?

She glances
cautiously at me before taking another mouthful of her drink and I almost
apologise again but then decide to go in a different direction and change the
subject.

“So I think the
weather is supposed to be nice this weekend.  That’s lucky for your
friends; did you say the ceremony was going to be outdoors?”

“Oh yes, it should be
great.”  Her eyes light up as she launches into a description of the
venue.

The awkwardness is
erased as the conversation flows again and our meals arrive.  The food is
great and the company even better.  I don’t bring up my uneasiness at work
again and neither does Emma.  I help her put her coat on as we leave the
restaurant and hold her hand as we walk to the car and all is right in the
world.  I can think of no place I would rather be at that moment than by
Emma’s side.

A light drizzle of
rain begins as I drive.
 
By the time we
arrive at Emma’s apartment complex, it’s pouring.

“Ready
to make a run for it?”
  I ask Emma after I turn off the ignition.

“Okay, let’s do
it!”  Emma says with enthusiasm and a giggle as she opens her door and
jumps out.

I meet her at the
front of the car then clutching her hand in mine we bolt up the path to the
staircase and even though it is under cover on the stairs, we don’t slow as I
pull her up them.  By the time we reach her door, we are both soaked and
out of breath.

“Well that was fun,”
Emma laughs and I can’t tell whether she is being sarcastic or not.  She
gets her keys from her bag and unlocks the door.  She opens it slightly
and then turns back to look at me.  Her wet hair is partially covering her
eyes so I smooth it back with my hand to see her better.  Then I cup her
chin as she looks up to me with those startling green orbs and I am mesmerised
yet again.

She leans into my
hand as she holds my gaze, then we inch closer until our lips meet.  Our
light kisses soon turn into deeper ones as our bodies get closer too.

Kissing Seth is
something I could do all night but eventually he pulls away.  I
contemplate what I should do next.  On the one hand, I desperately want to
invite him and take him to bed but on the other I would rather wait, build the
suspense, take things slow.  I want to let Seth set the pace of this
relationship.  I feel the need to place myself in hands …and that thought
brings me back to desperately wanting to invite him in… to use those hands.