Finding Solace (63 page)

 
"Sorry.
I kind of got lost in thought."

 
I stepped
out of the car and the wind and smell of the ocean hit me. Amazing, did not do
this justice. No words could. Ash was at my side in seconds and he grabbed me
to pull me to him. Standing there with Ash was a perfect moment in time.
Another man, other than the driver, walked up and shook Ash’s hand. He said
everything was ready when we were. Ash looked down at me and said, "You
ready to do this?"

 
"I have
never been more ready for anything in my life."

 
We walked
down a path that led us eventually to a helicopter pad. Did you hear me? A
freaking helicopter pad! I was lost once again. I turned to ask Ash and then
decided there was no point. He was not telling me a thing. To be honest, I kind
of loved it that way. Surprises generally suck. This one just seemed to get
better and better. We walked over to the man standing there waiting, obviously
for us. He held his arm out directing us to board. We got in and sat down, meanwhile
my heart rate quickened. I clinched onto Ash’s hand. He looked down at me,
still beaming that beautiful smile of his. The pilot got in after securing our
bags. He started it and the blades began to turn. I have never done something
so crazy in my life. Two seconds later, we were off the ground and flying over
the ocean again. The sun was beginning to set, making everything look beyond
perfect. The helicopter ride itself could easily be measured as my favorite
part up until this point. Everything looked like a post card. A chunk of land
was ahead and it seemed we were going straight for it. I waited to see if we
were going to turn, but we never did. On the back side was a concrete pad that
the driver landed us on. After he cut the engine, the pilot got out, walked
around to open the door and reached for my hand to help me out. As I was
stepping onto the concrete he said, "Welcome to your island."

 
I spun
around to Ash who has just stepped out of the helicopter himself.

 
"We are
staying on an island in Fiji?"

 
He walked
over to me and brought his lips down to mine.

 
"Yes, princess.
This whole island is ours for three
days."

 
I started
jumping up and down like a little kid. Nothing could have made me think he
would do all of this, just for my birthday. How does he take the smallest
things and make them
seem
so important, yet something
of this magnitude, he can make seem like such a small gesture.

 
"Let’s
go see the house."

 
"Ash,
there is a house?"

 
"Where
else would we sleep?"

 
"A hotel or resort."

 
"Nope,
let’s go see."

 
He and I
followed a path up the hill and away from the water. The trail itself was
beautiful. The scenery was made of pure nature at its finest. We walked hand in
hand for what seemed like a trip around the whole island. When we got to the
end, sure enough, it was the beginning. I heard a noise and then looked up to
see the helicopter was leaving. I looked at Ash as he smiled and said, "It
is ready now. Do you want to go take a look?" I grabbed his face, kissed
him once more and said, “Show me the way.”

 
This time it
was a much shorter walk in a direction I didn’t notice before. A separate path
led us to a wonderful beach style house, with all of the lights on, making it
look amazing. It was not too big or too small. It was just perfect. Ash opened
the front door for me and the view off the back about knocked me off my feet.
There even was an infinity pool. You
know,
the kind
that looks like they go on forever. Well, the water looked like it ran right
into the ocean. The family room and kitchen area were cozy and quaint. This
could become our home. I saw no reason to leave, ever. All of our things had
already been brought up and were sitting next to a closed door. Ash and I
toured the house, with both of us ‘ooh and
ahhing
’ nonstop.
The closed door was
peaking
my interest big time.

 
"Ash,
is that our bedroom? Why is the door closed?"

 
He didn’t
answer me right away. He looked a little sick, and I was hoping to God he was
not coming down with something.

 
"Sadie,
I just need to go check on something. Please go enjoy the view, and I will be
back shortly."

 
"You’re
acting weird, but okay. Are you sure you don't want me to get you
something?"

 
"Thanks,
but I'm good. I’ll be right back."

 
I walked
into the kitchen to see if there was anything in the refrigerator. Ash went
through the mysterious door. I found a couple of beers and eagerly popped one
open. I walked out on the deck and could not believe my eyes. He did all this
for me. It was just going to be the two of us for three whole days out here by
ourselves.
Woohoo
! I heard Ash faintly so I went back
inside and called for him. Then clearly I heard, "Sadie, can you come in
here for a moment, please?"

 
I walked to
the room excited to see what it was being hidden from me. What I found brought
tears to my eyes and stole my breath away. Candles and flowers showered the
entire room. The candles lit the dark space, flickering like only one hundred
plus candles can do. The flowers were every exotic flower that made up the
arrangement he gave me back in the beginning. They were everywhere. And then
the most perfect part of it all was Ash. He was standing there in the middle of
the room. When our eyes locked, he went down on one knee. My hands flew to my
mouth and I began to shake and cry. Then the most beautiful words ever spoken
came from his mouth.

 
"I know
we haven't been together that long. It has been two years since the day you
walked into my life. I may not have had you for all of those two years, but you
had me from the first time you ran into me. You may have bumped into me, but
you knocked me off my feet with your beauty, inside and out. I have never met
anyone like you. You’re selfless, giving and loving beyond any limits. You have
always made me feel like I am the most amazing man in the world. But the truth
is
,
I am only half of that man without you. Sadie, I
want you to have anything and everything you could ever want, because you
deserve it all. Please do me the honor of having the rest of my life to give it
to you. Will you make me the luckiest man alive and say you will be mine
forever? I don't think a lifetime could ever be long enough with you by my
side. Sadie Warren, please say you will let me share your life with you, and
allow me the honor of having you as my wife?"

 
I dropped to
the floor and crawled over to him. When I reached Ash, I screamed at the top of
my lungs "YES! YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!"

 
He slowly
lowered me to the ground. Our tongues played with each other’s while our
clothes were shed completely off. Ash picked me up and rested me on the bed.
Then his mouth started its journey up my body. His tongue licked my calf,
around my knee, up my thigh, across my sacred place to my hip, up my stomach,
the underside of my breast, across one nipple, until he traveled to the other,
then up my collar bone, to my neck and then back to my mouth.

 
"I love
every inch of you, Sadie. I can't believe it’s all mine. Trust me to cherish
it, because it will be my primary goal in life. I'm going to make you the
happiest woman ever."

 
His mouth
came down on mine again, so gentle yet claiming. Once his hand found that I was
more than ready, Ash was inside of me. We have had sex every way possible
before, but this time topped it all. The love coming back and forth was
tear
dropping. Knowing this man was going to be my husband
caused so much emotion in me, pure
joy.
I grabbed his
hips and pulled him into me, needing him as deep and close as he could get. He
struggled for the same thing. It was as if we were trying to become one. In a
sense we were. Passion was flying all over the room. I pushed myself on top so
that I could watch the pleasure I was giving him. His facial expressions said
it all. He wasn’t going to be able to hold on much longer. He flipped me over
and began rubbing me until I built up high enough to blow. When he removed his
hand and left me there, I thought I would scream. Then he shifted and with one
smooth push, I blew apart. He let go with me. We laid there panting and covered
in sweat. Neither of us cared. I eventually got some of my energy back, at
least enough to say, "I can't believe I'm going to be your wife."

 
He shot me
one of his best smile faces and said, "I know, right? This day couldn’t be
more perfect.
Beautiful place, with my beautiful girl.
What could be better?"

 
"I
could think of one small thing."

 
He shot up
in bed.

 
"What,
tell me?'

 
"Nothing
was wrong. Everything was perfect. Did you do this on a whim or did you plan it
all?"

 
"Oh I
planned it.
Down to the finest detail.
I even asked
your dad for your hand last weekend at the house."

 
"No way!
How did I miss all of it?"

 
"Because
I'm that good, don't forget it either."

 
"Oh I
won't, Mister smooth operator. One thing I'm wondering though. You planned this
down to the finest detail, right?"

 
"What
are you getting at, woman?"

 
"Well,
you certainly would think a ring would be included."

 
"Fuck!"

 
I couldn't
help but laugh. He ran over to his carryon bag and was back at my feet in
seconds.

 
"I'm so
sorry. Sadie, will you wear this ring and be my wife?"

 
He opened
the box and my jaw fell off. Inside was a diamond that was at least a 2 carat
cushion cut solitaire. It was unbelievably gorgeous. He placed it on my finger
and then sighed.

 
"It’s
okay, baby. I love my ring, my proposal, my trip, my fiancé. I love it
all."

 
"I
can't believe I screwed it up. I still got my girl though. That's all that
matters."

 
"That's
all that will ever matter. We have each other forever."

CHAPTER
49

 
The
rest of the night we
laid
in bed and made love. The
following morning when I woke, it felt like my dreams had come true. The ocean
breeze and the crashing of the waves was the best way to wake up ever. I got up
quietly, leaving Ash to sleep in. I brushed my teeth and then went into my bag
in search of my birth control pills. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find
them. I started to panic. I pulled everything from the bags and found nothing.
I ran into the room and jumped on the bed, scaring the shit out of Ash in the
process.

 
"Ash,
where are my pills?"

 
"Huh?
What
are
your talking about?"

 
He was still
half asleep.

 
"Ash,
wake up! Where are my birth control pills?"

 
He sat up
but still wasn’t alert.

 
"The pills, Ash.
Where are the fucking pills?"

 
"Sadie,
calm down. I'm sure I packed them somewhere."

 
"No,
you didn't. I have looked through everything. They’re not here."

 
"It’s
okay. It will be okay, princess. Did you take one yesterday?"

 
"No. I
woke up and then we left. Oh my God, Ash! What are we going to do?"

 
"We are
going to calm down, first of all. So you missed one day. It’s not the end of
the world. For the rest of our trip, I will just pull out. It will be okay.
When we get back home I will use a condom for the rest of your cycle until you
start a new pack. It will be fine, honey, don't worry."

 
"I got
so scared."

 
"I
could tell. It’s going to be fine. I will always make sure you’re okay. Trust
me."

 
The rest of
our trip was exactly what Ash said it would be. We ate great food that the
staff on the island prepared for us. The pool was fantastic, but the ocean was
hands down my favorite part. We made love over and over again, but were always
careful. When it was time to pack up and leave, I didn’t want to go. We packed
up all of our stuff and waited for the helicopter to come back to get us.

 
"Do you
want to throw in a quickie before they get
here.
It’s
a long flight back, remember?"

 
"Absolutely!"

 
A quickie
was exactly all it could be. We heard the helicopter coming and hurried to
finish. It came into view just as we were done, thank God. How mortifying would
that have
been? The ride back was surreal. I came to
this island a single girl celebrating her birthday and left engaged to the man
I love. Never would I have thought it would happen like this. Ash told me that
he planned the whole thing from the vision he had of the first time we slept
together. He wanted to give this all to me then, so how much more fitting could
it be to propose in that exact setting. I will never forget that trip for the
rest of my life.

 
The flight
back was so tiring. I slept almost the whole way. Ash was asleep every time I
stirred so there was zero guilt. I guess neither of us slept much in Fiji. We
had a different flight attendant, thank God, and she was kind enough to let us
sleep until it was time to land. We touched down and the feeling I got was
bitter sweet. It felt good to be home, but I could turn around and do the whole
thing over again.

 
"We’re
home, princess. It’s going to all be real now. You’re going to be Mrs. Sadie
Williams."

 
"Nothing
could make me happier."

 
I glanced
down at the ring I sported so proudly. He truly is perfect.

 
"You
ready?"

 
"Sure
am.
For all of it."

 
He took my
hand and led me off the plane. When we reached the terminal, we were met by a
crowd I never expected to be there.

 
"She
said yes!"

 
They all
cheered, clapped and ran towards us. Michael, Maria, Kate, and my mom and dad
were hugging us and each other. It hit me that all of them were now family to
me. Nothing could be better than that. My mom, Maria and Kate pulled me to the
side to see my ring and ask how he proposed and where we went. He truly did
keep it all a secret. I told them all about it and a simultaneous "
awh
" came from them. Then we switched. Ash got the
women and I got the men. My dad pulled me into another hug.

 
"I'm so
happy for you. He's a good man and I know he will take good care of my little
Sadie girl. I hate that you’re all grown up now, but I couldn't be more
proud." I was balling my eyes out. My dad had always been the number one
man in my life. Now he was replaced and it broke my heart for him.

 
"Thank
you, Dad. But I will always be your little girl, no matter how big I get."

 
"Absolutely
true"

 
Michael was
then pulling me in for a hug.

 
"You’re
not losing your dad, honey. You’re gaining another one, with a husband to boot.
Welcome to the family, sweetheart."

 
"Thank
you. It feels good to know I'm going to become part of it."

 
"You
already are."

 
I hugged him
once more. Then Ash was taking me into his arms, exactly where I belong.
Everyone had an opportunity to visit and now it was time to go home. We said
goodbye and got into our car. Ash drove straight home, eager to have sex with
his fiancé for the first time in his house. Men can be so silly about that kind
of thing. I really think it’s just an excuse to have sex as much as they can.
And that is exactly what we did. The suitcases stayed in the car, but we
didn’t.

 
Several
weeks later, I was anxiously awaiting my period so the condoms could go in the
trash. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I hated having a barrier between us.
Heather was throwing us an engagement party at her and Jason’s new house. Yep,
I said
it,
they bought a house two subdivisions away
from Ash and me. I was so happy when they told us. The fact that we could stay
close made everything that much better.

 
 
I heard Ash come in from the garage, so I went
to meet him and make sure he got ready to go.

 
"Hey there, gorgeous.
How was school?"

 
He walked
over to me, picked me up and put me on the counter.

 
"School
was good, but this is better."

 
He kissed me
and I knew where he wanted that kiss to lead to.

 
"Ash,
we have to go soon."

 
"Why do we have to go celebrate our engagement with them, when
we could, right here, right now?"

 
"Nice
try, buddy, but I promised we would come."

 
"I know
someone else who wants to cum." He started kissing my neck and then put my
ear in his mouth.

 
"Ash, stop.
I promise we can pick this back up right
after the party. Come on, please. We have to go."

 
"Fine.
But you promised."

 
"I
know. Now go get ready."

 
A half hour
later he came down the stairs looking fresh out of a magazine. Sometimes I had
to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. He was really going to be my
husband. We hadn’t set a date yet. I wanted to let Heather and Jason have
theirs first, and Ash to be done with school. Both of those things are within
the year, so it shouldn’t be that hard to wait. Ash wanted it right away, but I
put my foot down. In the end, he gave in, telling me I could have whatever I
wanted, as long as it made me happy.

 
"You
ready to get this night over with?
Cause
I'm ready for
what comes after already."

 
"Simmer
down, big boy. Your time is coming."

 
"There
you go using that word again. I'm never going to make it through the night if
you keep talking like that."

 
"Come
on, pervert. Let’s go."

 
"You
said it again."

 
"Go.
Now.
Better?"

 
"Much."

 
We walked
into the house hand in hand. Mike, Tony and Jason were watching TV. Heather was
in the kitchen with Megan. Which meant Jeff was somewhere also. Heather came
over to give me a hug.

 
"Let me
see that ring again." She grabbed my hand and pulled it to her.
"Megan, come look at this rock."

 
I was so
embarrassed. Yes, it was big. I guess I was just so used to it by now, that
flaunting it seemed vain. Megan came over and grabbed my hand, "Holy shit!
That makes mine look like a pen dot on paper."

 
"Mine
too, don't feel bad."

 
"Both
of you stop it. Your rings are perfect, just like mine, because they gave them
to us. That's what makes a ring special."

 
Heather
looked like I slapped her.

 
"Damn
Sadie, grumpy much?"

 
"No, why?"

 
"Because
we were just complimenting your ring, say thank you. Don't bite our heads
off."

 
I didn't
think I was crabby. I just thought they should be more grateful, but I didn’t
want to fight about it.

 
"Sorry.
Thank you both. It was very nice of you."

 
Bullshit,
Bullshit, Bullshit. Why was I playing nice? Why am I even thinking about this?
Maybe I am crabby.

 
"So
Megan, do you guys have a date set?"

 
"Three more months.
We decided low key was best because
of funding, but it doesn’t matter to me.
As long as I get to
be his wife."

 
"That's
exactly how I feel." came from Heather.

 
I'm calling
Bullshit again. Heather has never done low key in her life. She is
bridezilla
on steroids. What the hell is wrong with me? I
am crabby, I guess.

 
"That
sounds great." Was all I could come up
with.
I
decided to find Ash and maybe he could perk up my mood. I walked into the
family room and saw Jeff had joined the crew. Tony was sitting on a couch by
himself so I chose to sit next to him.

 
"Hey
there, stud. How are you?"

 
 
"Not as good as you,
but good all the same."

 
"I am
on a high I can't seem to come down from, that's for sure."

 
"As you should be.
Ash is great for you. Now it’s my
turn to find somebody."

 
"Really?
You’re ready for that now?

 
"I
think I am.
Maybe.
It would have to be the perfect
person. Which means it’s not going to happen. So I guess I take it all back.
I'm not ready."