Flawbulous (20 page)

“When you know better, you do better.”

 

–
Lawson Kerry Banks

 

Kina stared out the window from the passenger seat of Lawson's car as they rode to choir rehearsal together later that week. “How did you know you were ready to move in with Garrett?” she asked.

“Ha, that's easy—when I got fired from Macy's and could no longer afford to pay the house note by myself! But that was a long time ago. We hadn't even accepted Christ into our lives back then and knew nothing about fornication and God's plan for marriage.” Lawson briefly took her eyes off the road to look over at Kina. “Why do you ask?”

“Elvin wants to move in.”

Lawson's mouth gaped open from shock. “Did he propose?”

“Not marriage, only shacking up.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“I'm not sure,” admitted Kina. “This whole situation is so new and unexpected. I haven't had time to process it, but he thinks we share something special.”

“You do—your son and his grandson! Other than Kenny, what do you all have?”

Kina turned to Lawson. “Feelings.”

Lawson blinked back. “Kina, are you falling for this man?”

“Maybe . . . I don't know. I like being with him, and he's a good influence on my son.”

“But is that enough to build a future on or take such a drastic step? Cohabitation is a very big deal, Kina, and it has both emotional and spiritual consequences.”

“That's what's bothering me. I know what the Word says about shacking, and I'm really trying to live my life the right way, especially after living it so wrong over the past few years.”

“You can't ever go wrong letting the Bible be the final authority on all decisions. You don't even seem to be at peace with the idea of Elvin coming to live with you. Your peace and God's Word should align. If they don't, you know you're out of His will.”

“Yeah, but what if Elvin's the one? What if this is my last chance at happiness?”

“Kina, as long as you're still breathing, there's no such thing as your last chance at happiness. If it's meant to be, it'll be, and you won't have to give up your principles to make it happen,” pointed out Lawson.

“That all sounds good, but the truth is I
have
been lonely. And as much as I try to deny it, I want to be in a relationship. I want to be in love again.”

“You can have all that without living in sin, Kina.”

“Living together before marriage worked out for you and Garrett.”

“That's because he moved out once we understood God's take on it. When you know better, you do better.”

“I'm weighing it out. Desdemona thinks I should go for it.”

“Oh . . . does she?” Lawson's face fell.

“Yeah.” Kina noticed the change in Lawson's demeanor. “What was that look about?”

“Nothing, really. I'm just wondering how much we should be listening to her.”

“Did she give you some bad advice?”

Lawson spoke with reservation. “Kinda. I had a big fallout with Sullivan the other day.”

“Why? What happened?”

“We all know how hard Sully's taken Christian's death. Des noticed that Sully seemed to be developing a weird attachment to Simon, and suggested that Sully might be too emotionally unstable to be around children, specifically my stepson. Des really had me kind of freaked out and worried that Sully might try to take him, so I panicked. I told Sully I didn't want her around Simon anymore.”

Kina raised an eyebrow. “That sounds a little extreme, Lawson.”

“It didn't at the time. Needless to say, the conversation did not end well.”

“Knowing Sullivan, I'm sure it didn't!”

“Anyway, she stormed out, and I haven't heard from her since. I've called and left messages, but she's obviously not trying to hear anything I have to say.”

“I can't say I'm shocked, Lawson. Most people don't take to kindly to being called crazy.”

“I didn't say she was crazy.”

“Didn't you, though? You barred her from your stepson. Isn't that a clear sign that you think a person is crazy?”

Lawson quietly mulled over Kina's questions.

“Speaking of babies, how's Namon? Is Shari's pregnancy coming along okay?”

Lawson shrugged. “I have no idea. He's not speaking to me, either.”

“Wow, you're on a roll, aren't you? Is there anyone else who is estranged that you want to tell me about?”

“Hmm . . . did I mention that Reggie and I are still at odds?”

“Still?”
Kina shook her head. “This is bad, cuz! When it comes down to it, family is all we've got.”

“At least my marriage is intact. Garrett is one person left in Savannah who still loves me.”

“Aw, I still love you too.” Kina reached over and pinched her cousin's cheek. “That'll never change.”

Lawson smiled. “Thanks, sweetie. That's a lovely sentiment. But based on everything that's gone down in the past few months, I've learned to never say, ‘Never.'”

“Do you have any idea how many times I've been asked,
‘Why do you hang out with that whore? Don't you know
what kind of person she is?'”

 

–
Angel King

 

Angel shook her head as she watched Sullivan spike her orange juice with champagne after they returned to Sullivan's house following their morning run. Just when she thought Sullivan had been making emotional strides, she seemed to be spiraling out of control again.

“Do you think you should be drinking this early?”

Sullivan rolled her eyes. “I don't know. Do you think having one irksome mother is enough without you throwing your placenta into the mix?”

“Dang, Sully, it was merely an observation! If you want your liver to be looking and functioning like a shriveled-up shrimp in a few years, that's fine with me.”

Sullivan took a few sips. “We've all got to die of something, right?”

“We don't have to speed up the process with bad decisions.” Angel lifted the glass out of Sullivan's hand. “Anyway, I need to talk to you about something, and I need you to be sober.”

Sullivan snatched it back. “Angel, I'm not getting into an argument with you about my drinking. I get enough of that from Charles.”

“I'm sure he's concerned, like the rest of us. Are you two any better these days?”

“We've gotten better at avoiding each other, if that's what you mean. Of course, we keep up the facade at church, the way a nice first family should, but once we get home . . .” She swallowed a mouthful. “I have my life, and he has his.”

Angel was disappointed. “I wish you could get through this impasse. Christian's death should've brought you closer together, not torn you apart.”

“Instead, it only highlighted and magnified problems that were already there. Charity may be the only thing holding us together these days.”

“I'm praying for you, Sully, for real. I'd hate to see another Christian family fall apart. We should be able to hold it together if no one else can.”

“Church folks are regular people, Angel.”

“Church folks are. Christians are covered by the blood of Jesus. Our lives should reflect that.”

“I suppose. . . .”

“But your relationship with Charles isn't the only one I'm worried about these days.” Angel sat down. “Lawson told me what happened.”

“If your objective is to
not
drive me to drink, don't mention that person's name around me.”

“Sully, she means well. . . .”

“She all but called me a psychotic, baby-thievin' lunatic and banned me from seeing her stepson.”

“She's trying to do the right thing and protect him.”

“But from me, Angel? I've been her best friend for over twenty years, and I've never done anything to hurt her. Why would I start now? The mere fact that she even thinks that I'm so far off in Toontown that I can't distinguish between my son and hers says a lot about this friendship, if you can even call it that. I'm done with her.”

“I think this is the mimosa talking.”

“To tell you the truth, I wouldn't even be drinking right now if it hadn't been for that fight with Lawson,” Sullivan confessed. “I'd stopped drinking. I was starting to pull my life back together. I was feeling like the old me again. I guess there's something about your best friend, who also happens to be the person who knows you better than anyone else, saying that you're a head case that can shoot all those warm, fuzzy feelings straight to hell.”

“I know that what she said hurt you, but this”—Angel pointed at Sullivan's glass—“is not the solution.”

“Then what is?”

“Leaning on your family. Most importantly, leaning on God. I don't see you doing much of that these days.”

“Well, I guess there's nothing like losing your child to send those warm, fuzzy faith feelings straight to hell too.”

“Is your faith that weak that one tragedy can make you turn your back on everything you know to be true about God? Or your friendship with Lawson, for that matter?”

Sullivan shook her head. “There are simply some things that can't be undone, regardless of how much faith or history you have.”

“If that were true, we'd all be in trouble! Faith in Duke and our love and believing that God brought us together are what has sustained us through the tough times.”

“I thought y'all broke up.”

“We're on a break,” explained Angel. “That's not the same as a breakup.”

“If your man being a rapist isn't grounds for a breakup, I don't know what is!”

Angel turned sullen. “Duke is not a rapist, Sullivan. I wish you'd stop saying that even as a joke.”

Sullivan finished off her mimosa. “Who said I was joking?”

“If it wasn't a joke, it would make you one cruel, heartless witch for saying that to me.”

“For speaking the truth?”

“What truth? He was charged, not convicted. ” Angel flung her hand. “I'm not going to get into this with you today, Sully.”

“Why not?”

“Because you're two sips away from inebriation and you're talking crazy.”

“Oh, so now you've jumped on the ‘Sullivan is crazy' train too?”

“I didn't say you were crazy. I said you were drunk.”

“Angel, you know it takes more than one watered-down mimosa to get me drunk. Plus, I haven't said anything about Duke that I haven't told you already.”

“Sully, how would you feel if I called the man you love a rapist? That's not a word you play around with.”

“Duke may not be a rapist, but he is a liar and a cheater, right? You do own up to that much, don't you?”

Angel raised an eyebrow. “Are we talking about Duke, or are we talking about you?”

“Whatever,” muttered Sullivan.

“Regardless, cheating on me with one person doesn't make Duke a rapist.”

“One person that you know of,” retorted Sullivan. “Even in college, we all knew that Duke wasn't exactly stingy with the peen. He's dipped it in practically every available hot pocket from D.C. to Georgia!”

Angel took offense. “That's completely unfounded and unnecessary, Sullivan. You don't know Duke the way I do.”

“Maybe not, but I
do
know that you drove all night from D.C. to my apartment in Savannah because you didn't have anywhere else to go after Duke left you for Theresa. I
also
know that we found you in the bathroom, passed out and overdosing on pills after you tried to kill yourself, and I also remember having to help you pick up the pieces when you lost your baby after finding out your husband had fathered someone else's child.”

“Sullivan, you're talking about things that happened over a decade ago. You've changed since the whole Vaughn affair fiasco. Don't you think it's possible that Duke's changed too?”

“
You
don't even think he's changed, Angel,” argued Sullivan. “Otherwise, you wouldn't have gone to his accuser for answers.”

“I went to prove that Duke was innocent.”

“No, you went to have her confirm what you knew to be true in the pit of your stomach. Granted, I'm willing to concede that maybe he didn't try to rape her, but we both know something happened between the two of them in that hotel room. The only question is whether or not it stopped being consensual at some point. My goodness, how many times does Duke have to make a fool out of you for you to wake up?”

Angel fired back. “That's a great question for me to ask Charles, since apparently he has yet to meet his quota with you! How you can stand there and degrade Duke for cheating when, for the longest time, you didn't even know who the father of your child was!”

“Don't bring Charles and Charity into this! My marriage has nothing to do with Duke's wandering eyes and hands. Say what you want about me, but nobody has ever accused me of forcing myself on them.”

Angel's temper flared. “You know, Sullivan, I've spent many years turning a blind eye to your indiscretions. Mostly because I love you, and also because I thought underneath all the scheming and lying and manipulation and lawlessness, there was a real person in there who had a heart. I've always been willing to give you another chance to prove that you were not the person everyone said you were. Do you know how many times I've had to defend you and our friendship to other people? Do you have any idea how many I've been asked, ‘Why do you hang out with that whore? Don't you know what kind of person she is?'”

“Hold up. I've never asked you to defend me. There's never been an ounce of shame in my game! I don't need you or anyone else trying to explain Sullivan Raquel Webb. I do what I want, when I want it, and banish to hell whoever doesn't like it. I don't need you taking up for me. All the Charity I need is in that upstairs bedroom, asleep. I don't want yours.”

“Remember that next time you call wanting somebody to keep one of your many dirty little secrets,” threatened Angel.

Sullivan gave her the once-over. “I'm not the only one in this room with dirty little secrets, not by a long shot.”

“Let me get out of here before I say something that I can't take back. I'm leaving.” Angel snatched up her car keys and bottled water. “I'm not about to stand here and let you disrespect me and talk to me any kind of way.”

“You're right. That's Duke's job.”

Angel brushed past Sullivan on her way out.

“Fine. Why don't you go run to your good friend Lawson, and the two of you can congratulate each other on being better and more moral than anyone else!”

Angel turned around. “We may not be more moral than most, but we're certainly better and more moral than you! Honestly, I feel sorry for your daughter.”

“I would feel sorry for yours, but I can't. You left her in a dead fetus pile at the abortion clinic.”

Angel glared at Sullivan. “That was a low blow, Sullivan, even for you, who's no stranger to going below the belt, in every sense of the word.”

Sullivan poured another glass of juice. “I thought you were leaving.”

“I am. I'm also thinking that Lawson isn't the only one who needs a break from you.”

Sullivan made a face, mocking her. “Take a break, Angel. Have a seat. In fact, you need to have several seats, preferably somewhere other than here!”

Angel marched out. At that moment, she knew they'd crossed a precipice. Outside, Angel was tempted to turn back and apologize but sided against it. Sullivan had finally gone too far. In truth, they both had.