Flawbulous (23 page)

“I hate to say it, but maybe this friendship or sisterhood,
or whatever you want to call it, has run its course.”

 

–
Angel King

 

At Kina's town house later that afternoon, all Lawson, Sullivan, and Angel could say was, “
What?
” upon hearing about Elvin's link to Desdemona.

Angel faced Desdemona. “How could you do that?” she demanded. “Kina trusted you. We all did.”

“I never asked any of you to do that,” replied Desdemona. “My mission was pure and simple—to find Kina's story—and I did that.”

Sullivan shook her head. “You don't even have any remorse, do you?”

“It makes no sense yet perfect sense at the same time,” Lawson declared and directed her anger toward Desdemona. “I started figuring you out weeks ago. We didn't have all these problems till you came along with all your instigating and stirring the pot. You've been manipulating everybody this whole time.”

“I think
manipulation
is a strong word,” protested Desdemona. “Though I do admit I may have fanned a few flames.”

“You did more than that! You took advantage of our insecurities and fears and pitted us against each other for your own entertainment. That's cruel, and it's sick,” said Angel.

“I don't care what Terrilyn says. I want you gone,” roared Kina. “The way I see it, we get rid of you and we get rid of the problem.”

Desdemona laughed. “I'm the least of your problems. What did I do, other than make suggestions?”

Lawson sucked her teeth. “That's exactly how the devil operates! I should've known not to trust you. If you take off the first three letters and the last letter of your name, you get
demon,
which is exactly what you are!”

“Be that as it may, your friendships and your lives weren't nearly as together as you tried to make them out to be,” said Desdemona, “especially if all it took was a few well-placed words from me to make it all crumble.”

Angel narrowed her eyes at Desdemona. “How can you say that with a straight face, knowing that you orchestrated the whole thing?”

“The cracks in the foundation were there long before I was. Kina, I will see you at Terrilyn's office next week. Be sure to look over the book. It's a real page-turner.” Desdemona seized her keys and purse. “It was most rewarding meeting all of you,” she added, throwing them a wave before sauntering out.

The five of them were left standing there to try to pick up the pieces of their broken friendship. No one had a clue as to how to begin that process.

“See what happens when we let other people infiltrate the sister circle?” joked Lawson.

Kina tried to laugh, but the joke was met mostly with uncomfortable looks.

“I owe you all an apology,” said Kina. “I'm the one who introduced her to everybody. I feel like this was all my fault.”

Angel rested a hand on Kina's shoulder. “It wasn't you fault, Kina. All you did was bring her around. We took it upon ourselves to trust her.”

Lawson was still heated. “I can't believe she manipulated us that way!”

Sullivan looked around at her friends. “I don't think she did, not really.”

“Are you defending her?” asked Lawson.

Sullivan disputed the idea. “Of course not, but when it came down to it, what did she really
make
us do?”

“She made you question your marriage to Charles,” noted Angel.

Sullivan shook her head. “I was already doing that. She only said out loud what I was thinking.”

There was a long silence.

“Sully's right,” conceded Angel. “Whether it was about our relationships or our friendship with each other, Desdemona just unearthed everything we were feeling beneath the surface. To be honest, I don't think she lied about or to any of us.”

“Yeah, but we said some really hurtful things to each other because of Desdemona's mechanisms,” Lawson pointed out.

Sullivan faced Lawson. “Maybe that's how we really feel and we have been afraid to admit it.”

Tension wrapped around them like a thick blanket.

Angel sighed. “I hate to say it, but maybe this friendship or sisterhood, or whatever you want to call it, has run its course.”

Kina squinted her eyes. “Are you serious?”

Angel nodded. “Can any of you honestly say that this friendship has made you better or helped you to grow as a person or a Christian?”

“Definitely!” affirmed Kina. “I wouldn't have made it without your support.”

“You would've been fine,” Angel assured her. “Look how you thrived out in California on your own. Frankly, I think being here with us has held you back. I think to a certain extent, we've all held each other back.”

“How can you say that?” replied Lawson.

“How many times did we sit by idly while Sullivan cheated on Charles? Who came to Kina's rescue when she was being beaten by E'Bell?” Angel asked, rattling off their faults. “All of us have connections, but which of us stepped up to help Reggie find a decent job so she wouldn't have to keep stripping? Didn't we all help Lawson lie to Mark about Namon being his son?”

“That's what friends do,” argued Kina.

Sullivan stepped forward. “A friend wouldn't have let you stay in that abusive marriage, Kina.”

“What could you have done to stop me? I'm a grown woman!” returned Kina.

“We didn't even try, though. We may call each other out on our sins, but ultimately, we condone them,” admitted Lawson.

“That's because real friends don't judge each other,” asserted Kina. “They love and accept each other for who they are.”

“Yeah, but at what point does that become counterproductive, destructive even?” asked Angel. “If we claim to be serious about our Christianity yet don't correct even those closest to us when they fall, what does that say about us as Christians?”

Lawson sighed. “As much as I'd like to, I can't argue with that logic.”

“We've all been friends for so long that we have practically shut out the possibility of letting other people in our lives. Perhaps it's just time to move on and explore other friendships,” suggested Angel. “Whether we want to admit it or not, I think it's pretty obvious that we're starting to outgrow this one.”

Kina started tearing up. “Angel, I can't imagine not having all of you in my life.”

“I didn't say we couldn't be civil and have the occasional lunch or conversation. I'm just saying maybe we don't need to be all up in each other's business. I think we need to set some boundaries and have some space, meet new people.”

Lawson nodded. “If that's what you want, I guess we have to respect that.”

“It's not necessarily what I want,” said Angel. “It's what I think we need for a little while. There's nothing wrong with having friends outside of this group.”

“Besides, most of us are married. I'm sure our husbands would probably be a lot happier if they got half the attention that we lavish on each other,” added Sullivan.

Kina began to cry.

Angel hugged her. “This isn't the end, Kina. It's just rearranging our priorities. We'll always have a role in each other's lives. Now it will be a smaller role, that's all.”

Lawson patted Kina on the back. “We're family. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried.”

“But it won't be the same,” wailed Kina.

“Nothing ever stays the same,” said Sullivan. “Things change. People evolve. That's life.”

Kina looked around at everybody. “Is this really what you all want?”

Angel nodded. “I think it's what we need, for right now, anyway.”

Kina wiped her eyes. “So this is it? This is good-bye?”

Sullivan squeezed Kina's hand. “It's . . .
see you later.
”

Lawson put forth a brave front. “Well, then, I guess I'll see you all later.”

“See you later.” Angel smiled and reached out to hug her. “I do love you, Lawson, and I wish you all the best.”

“Same here.” Lawson let her go. “Good-bye, Angel.”

“Aw, can't we at least have a group hug?” asked Kina.

They laughed and huddled together for a final group hug.

“I love you,” whispered Sullivan. “You'll always be my sisters.”

They all departed, leaving their most treasured friendships behind as each one went her separate way.

“Sometimes I don't know how to cope with pain.”

 

–
Sullivan Webb

 

Sullivan came home and found Charles already in bed, asleep. He stirred when he heard her come in the bedroom. She set her keys down on her dresser.

“Hey,” she said.

Charles glanced over at the clock. “It's kind of late. Where were you?”

“I was with the girls. I didn't mean to wake you. I'm sorry.”

“No need to apologize. I know you love spending time with your friends,” said Charles.

“I think I've been showing them a little too much love.” Sullivan gazed at Charles. “And not enough love to my husband.”

That caught Charles's attention.

Sullivan sat at the foot of their bed. “And you're wrong, Charles. I do owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“I was talking to Vera yesterday. She reminded me what a good man you are and how blessed I am to have you.”

Charles was surprised. “Vera said that?”

Sullivan nodded. “Anytime a falling-down, train wreck of a mother like Vera gives a compliment, it's worth taking note!”

They both laughed.

“Charles, I've been so caught up in my own grief and pain that I couldn't see what a completely selfless act you committed by saving my life. It was an impossible position for you to be in.”

“Yes, it was,” agreed Charles. “But I knew if Christian stayed inside of you, you both could die. If I let the doctor deliver him, there was a greater chance that both of you would survive. Maybe it was a little selfish on my part, but I couldn't risk losing you, Sullivan. I just couldn't.”

Sullivan hugged him. “I know that now. It took an incredible amount of love and courage to do what you did, and I know that you grieved for our son just as much as I did.”

“I really did, Sullivan. I had so many dreams and plans for that boy. I wanted to teach him how to fish and play ball, how to treat a lady, and how to be a man of God. It broke my heart when he didn't pull through. It broke again when you blamed me for killing him.”

“I'm so sorry for that. I was hurt, and I needed someone to blame.”

“It's okay, but, Sullivan, I can't be your whipping boy whenever you get ready to lash out at somebody, and you've got to find a way to handle your problems without turning to alcohol.”

“What am I supposed to turn to?”

“It's not a
what.
It's a
who.
God.”

“It's easy for you to say that. You're a pastor. You have an inside connection with Him.”

Charles laughed. “I have the same inside connection you have, darling.”

“Sometimes I don't know how to cope with pain. Unfortunately, when it comes to dealing with hurt and disappointment, I revert to acting like Vera. I become mean and destructive like her.”

“I know you saw way more than you should have growing. Vera did and said things in front of you that no child should have to witness, but you're a grown woman now. You can't blame everything on Vera and your childhood. At some point, we've all got to grow up and realize who the problem really is.”

Sullivan took a deep breath. “You're right. The issue is with me. I'm the one who hurt you, and I'm the one who's pushed you away time and time again.”

“Well, I believe we've both been guilty on that end. I've let the church come between us, and I was wrong for that. Yes, God called me to preach, but he called me to minister to my wife and my family first. I'm sorry that I haven't always made you my priority.”

Sullivan wouldn't let him blame himself. “Charles, I can't hold anything against you after all I've put you through.”

“No, I still have to be held accountable just like you do. Sullivan, the only way this marriage is going to work is if we start taking responsibility for it and stop fighting each other and start fighting for our marriage.”

“Do you still want to fight for it?”

Charles reached for Sullivan's hands. “I'm in it to win it, baby! You're my wife. I'm not going anywhere.”

She smiled up at him. “Neither am I.”

“It won't be easy, you know?” Charles warned her.

“I know, but you and Charity are worth fighting for.”

Charles drew Sullivan in and kissed her.

They both knew that their marriage might always be mired with complications, but they also knew neither one of them wanted to walk away from it.

“You know, there are some things that are more important
than notoriety and money, like being able to look at
yourself in the mirror and not hate the person you see
reflected back.”

 

–
Kina Battle

 

“This is brilliant!” declared Terrilyn after finishing the last of Desdemona's manuscript. “This is absolutely brilliant! I smell a bestseller. Heck, I smell a Pulitzer Prize! Excellent work, Kina.”

“You can't be serious,” cried Kina.

“I think
The Devil and Her Advocates
is Des's best work to date. It's dark. It draws you in right from the beginning. It's juicy. It's everything you want in a book.”

“But she ripped everything right from our real lives,” argued Kina. “She even goes into detail about how she played all of us.”

“I know! Isn't it delicious?” gushed Terrilyn. “It's got it all—the slutty first lady who's a closet alcoholic, the self-righteous baby-killing choir director, the pill-popping nurse whose man can't keep it in his pants, the stripping whore-turned-housewife, and the reality starlet who's bedding her husband's father. Honestly, how much drama can exist in one group of friends? And it's all under the guise of Christianity! Honey, if the Christians are acting this way, I shudder to think what the rest of the world is doing!”

“Terrilyn, you can't print this book. My friends would kill me!” Kina flipped through the manuscript. “Look at the characters' names. Sally, Laura, Angela, Regina, and Tina. Any idiot could figure out that's Sully, Lawson, Angel, Reginell, and me.”

“That's what makes it all the more salacious! Don't forget that we're marketing it as a work of fiction,” explained Terrilyn. “Once we slap the sticker on it that says, ‘This is a work of fiction. Any similarity in names, characters, places, and incidents is entirely coincidental,' we're good to go.”

“Please don't do this,” pleaded Kina. “These are real people with real lives. They didn't sign on for this. Everything they said to me or Desdemona was done in confidence. They thought the book was supposed to be about me. They had no idea she was going to be writing about them.”

Terrilyn frowned. “That's their problem. Des never told them anything that was off the record.”

“Desdemona also caused so much havoc in their lives. This would be adding insult to injury. They'd never forgive me for that.”

“They may be true, but think of how good it'll feel to wipe those tears away with hundred-dollar bills!”

“What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” asked Kina.

“Will you cut out the dramatics? We need to get down to business. I can't wait to get you out there on a media tour. We've got to start booking you on talk shows and blogs ASAP. You love attention, so I don't anticipate you having a problem with that. I want there to be a lot of buzz about this novel so people will be salivating for it by the time it comes out,” Terrilyn said, plotting.

Kina vigorously shook her head. “I'm not comfortable with this at all. I don't want my name associated with this book.”

“There's nothing to be ashamed of, Kina. It's a great book.”

“Great for business maybe, but not for my friends. Sullivan's baby died and Lawson hurt her sister and Angel's boyfriend was falsely accused of rape, and that's all in there. I can't profit off the things that caused them the most hurt.”

Terrilyn sighed and swung around in her chair. “Kina, we talked about this. You accepted the advance. You're under contract. The book will be published with or without you. The difference is you can either make thousands off of it or pay the thousands back that we advanced you. The choice is yours.”

Kina thought it over. She didn't have anywhere near the five figures they'd advanced her, and she could definitely use the money and the exposure. Besides, she and her friends weren't even close anymore. What would it matter to her if they got upset? If she turned down the book, they wouldn't even know how great a sacrifice she made for them.

Kina opened her mouth to tell Terrilyn to move forward with the book, then remembered a televised interview Sullivan had done two years prior. It was the perfect opportunity for Sullivan to get revenge for Kina trying to seduce Charles and telling him about the question of Charity's paternity. Instead, she'd publicly praised Kina for being a true friend with principles and having the love of God in her heart.

“I can't do it. I'm sorry. I'll write another book if I have to or spend the rest of my life paying back that advance, but I can't let that book go out with my name on it.”

“You're a fool, Kina. Only an idiot would pass up the kind of opportunity that's being presented to you. Do you have any idea what this book could do for your career? You could get that reality show you want out of the deal! Endorsements, book sequels,” said Terrilyn. “You'll get to travel and be relevant again. You're willing to walk away from all that for what? To keep some busybody women from being mad at you? That's ludicrous!”

“It's not just about that. I can't betray them this way. The Bible says anything you know in your heart to be wrong is a sin. What's the point of having all the money and success you mentioned if I'm not at peace with myself or my Father?”

“I'm sorry to hear that,” Terrilyn said and faced her computer. “However, it's your decision and, essentially, your loss. Expect to hear from our legal team if the advance is not repaid within the next thirty days. You may go.”

“Yeah, well, it feels good to know that I have a few scruples left.” Kina stood up to leave. “There is just no way I can sell my soul to the devil in order to sell out the people I love. You know, there are some things that are more important than notoriety and money, like being able to look at yourself in the mirror and not hate the person you see reflected back.”

“Well, Kina, I hope that mirror hangs up nice and pretty in the homeless shelter you'll probably find yourself in. Consider yourself dismissed.”

Kina walked out with her pride and principles intact. They might not pay the bills, but they made for an excellent night's sleep. She would do what she could and trust God for the rest.