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“This circle shouldn't be a place where I have to worry
about being judged or living up to a standard or keeping
grown women from killing each other.”

 

–
Angel King

 

Lawson joined Angel for a cup of tea at Angel's house. It was one of the few places she still felt welcomed.

“How are you holding up these days?” she asked Angel.

“It depends on which minute you ask. Right now, I'm okay. Fifteen minutes ago, I was a mess. An hour from now, who knows? Duke's case is still pending, and it's stressing both of us out. He thinks I don't believe in him, and I can't say definitively that I do. I'm afraid this may be what finally ends our love story.”

“Angel, I'm completely confident that you and Duke will find your way back to each other. You always do.”

“Time will tell,” said Angel. “You and Namon still on the outs?”

Lawson nodded.

“And Reggie?”

Lawson nodded again.

“What about you and Sully?”

Lawson sighed. “It's complicated with us.”

“Dang, is there anyone you're still cool with?” joked Angel.

“I have you and Kina still ridin' for me.”

“If it counts for anything, I did try to get Sully to reconcile with you. Of course, that was before she and I became fast frenemies.”

Lawson was shocked to learn that Angel and Sullivan had fallen out too. “Et tu, Brute?'”

“Yeah, she started going in on Duke again, and I couldn't take it anymore. I said some things. She said some things. It got pretty nasty.”

“I'm sad to hear that, but I know how hard it is when the people you love and count on don't support you.”

“Ain't that the truth? I know everybody else has bailed, but you'll always have me,” Angel assured her. “I've got your back. Despite what you have going on with Reggie and Sullivan, you've been great to me. You're an amazing friend, which is exactly what I've needed with everything going on with Duke. You have no idea what your support has meant to me.”

“It's easy. I know Duke didn't do it.”

“Thank you. Why can't anyone else see that?”

“Some people would rather believe the worst about everybody else. My mom used to always say that it's easier to believe than to think. Considering what Reggie and Sully have gone through with men, it's no surprise that they would side with Duke's accuser.”

“I guess.”

“It's kind of like my situation with Namon. Reggie and Sully don't agree with what I did regarding the abortion, but you understand why I did it, don't you?”

Angel leaned forward. “Actually, no, I don't.”

Lawson was surprised by her answer. “Why not?”

“Lawson, you were so vehement with your disapproval a year ago, when I had an abortion. You droned on and on about how my baby deserved a chance at life and how selfish I was being for not telling the baby's father about the abortion. I was riddled with guilt because of it. That guilt was one of the reasons I started abusing painkillers.”

“So it's my fault you started popping pills like they were candy?”

“No, but your condemnation didn't help! On top of that, you never even apologized for how you treated me. Then you turned around and tried to do the same thing to Namon that you shunned me for doing to Jordan. The same abortion that was such as sin for me to get was perfectly acceptable when you tried to force one on your son's girlfriend.”

“Angel, the situation with Namon is completely different.”

“How so?”

“Namon and Shari are in no position to raise a child.”

“Yeah, but at the time, neither was I. I could barely afford to feed myself, much less anyone else. I was working three jobs just to make ends meet, and Jordan certainly wasn't the man I wanted to share a child with.”

“True, but you were old enough to know better and established enough make it work. Shari and Namon aren't.”

Angel shook her head. “That's amazing.”

“What?”

“Your ability to commit the same sins you accuse everyone else of yet find a convenient way to rationalize it when you're at fault.”

“I have principles, and at least I try to do the right thing. My heart and intentions are always in the right place.”

“And ours aren't?”

“I don't know. Was your heart in the right place when Miley wound up in the hospital, getting stitches, because you were indulging in your porn obsession instead of watching her? Was Sully's heart in the right place when she was sleeping with Vaughn and Charles at the same time? What about Kina when she outed Reggie for TV ratings or Reggie when she was stripping for married men and dropping her drawers for tips?”

“Love doesn't keep a record of the wrong others do,” said Angel, quoting. “Lawson, I could just as easily dredge up your past sins, like lying to your husband or the deplorable way you treated poor Simon in the beginning. Not to mention how you played Mark and Garrett against each other and tried to convince Reggie that Mark wanted her only for sex. But I guess your heart was in the right place all those times too, right?”

Lawson rolled her eyes.

“You're self-righteous and judgmental. You can dish it, but you sure as heck can't take it. This is the way you eventually drive all the people you love away from you.”

“Angel, if I didn't set a standard, there wouldn't be one in this group.”

“I don't think anybody has a problem with you having a standard. The issue is that you set one that not even you yourself can maintain, but you judge us when we fall short.”

“Regardless of what I've done right or wrong, I've always been a friend and been there for all of you. I've been the one praying, holding your hand, letting you know it's going to be okay. Is it too much to ask for my friends to do the same?”

“No, but you make us not want to support you when you get all ‘moral majority' on us.”

Lawson pursed her lips together and set down her cup. “I think coming here was a mistake.”

Angel paused before speaking. “Maybe it was.”

“You have a pleasant day,” declared Lawson in the nastiest tone possible. She stomped toward the door but stopped when she placed her hand on the doorknob. “What are we doing?”

“You were seeing yourself out,” retorted Angel.

Lawson came back into the room with Angel. “Don't you see what's happening to us? Everybody is all splintered off and mad.”

“It's not the first time that's happened,” said Angel.

“It's never been this bad and for this long. We all know that Sullivan is a hothead and Reggie has a smart mouth, and both are usually the source of problems in our friendship. But you and I, Angel, are always the rational ones, the two who diffuse the drama and keep everyone together.”

Angel stood up. “I think that's the problem, Lawson. Friendship shouldn't be this much work! My friends should be my refuge from the craziness out in the rest of the world. This circle shouldn't be a place where I have to worry about being judged or living up to a standard or keeping grown women from killing each other.”

“But that's what we do! We argue, we get mad, we cuss each other out, but we always get it together. That's what friends do.”

“No, that's what
we
do and it's exhausting! I don't even have this much drama in my relationships with men. It's like we're trapped in a bad marriage.”

“And now you sound like you want out, is that it?”

Angel exhaled. “Why are you making it sound like I'm a defector for wanting a little break? Do you know how much I have going on in my life, Lawson? My own personal drama is enough without everybody else's.”

“I get that. I'm just afraid that if we don't put a stop to all the infighting, we're going to end up losing our friendship.”

Angel mulled it over. “Would that be so terrible?” She paused. “In fact, I think it might be exactly what we need.”

“How could you toy with my emotions like that?”

 

–
Kina Battle

 

Kina learned very quickly what could happen when a person shows up unannounced when she turned up at Desdemona's downtown loft without calling first.

“Des, I'm concerned about the latest notes you e-mailed me about the book,” said Kina, barging in once Desdemona answered the door. “I think you're making me come off as a self-centered, confused, needy thirst trap! Is that how you see me?”

“Of course not, but we can talk about it later. Right now you have to go.” Desdemona redirected Kina toward the door.

“Wait. I brought some notes. I wanted to go over a few details with you.”

“Kina, this isn't a good time to talk shop. Let's table this until tomorrow.”

Kina became suspicious. “What's going on? Why are you trying to get rid of me?”

“I'm busy. Look, I don't want to be rude, but—”

Kina heard what sounded like water running and spotted a pair of men's loafers on Desdemona's living room floor and grinned. “Des, do you have a man up in here?”

“Yes, so you understand why I'm not up for company today. I already have some.”

Kina was intrigued. “Well, who is he? Where did you meet him?”

Desdemona started physically shuffling Kina toward the door. “I'll tell you about it later.”

“Hey, D. Where did you put my razor? I don't see it where I left it,” called a male voice from another room.

Kina stood in place, listening. The voice sounded familiar.

Elvin emerged, clad only in a towel. “Why do you keep moving my stuff? I put it one place and find it in another.” He froze when he looked up and saw Kina.

Kina's blood ran cold. “Elvin, what are you doing here? Des, what the heck is going on?”

Elvin reached his hand out. “Kina, I can explain.”

Kina moved toward him, still in shock. “So the two of you are sleeping together?”

Desdemona appeared unfazed. “This is why you should've called before dropping by.”

“I don't . . . I don't understand any of this,” stammered Kina, unable to process what she was seeing with her own eyes. “How did this happen? You asked me to let you move in, and I find out that you're sleeping with my ghostwriter. What is this?”

“Relax,” said Desdemona. “Elvin isn't sleeping with me. He works for me.”

The revelation did nothing to ease Kina's confusion and anger. “Works for you how? As a male prostitute?”

“No, he's more of an informant. Isn't that right, Elvin?”

Elvin stood cemented in place, exposed both literally and figuratively. “Kina, it's a long story.”

Kina took a defiant stance. “Oh, I have time. I want to hear this.”

Elvin tightened the towel around his waist. “Can I run and put some clothes on first?”

“No!” retorted Kina. “I wanna know what's going on, and I want to know now!”

Desdemona sighed. “Elvin here is what many people would call an opportunist, but he's not a very good one.”

Kina shook her head. “I don't understand . . .”

“Well, Kina, I had to spice up your story, and your dull church life wasn't giving me what I needed. When you dropped the little nugget about your in-laws hating your guts, I figured it would make for an interesting story line for you.”

“What?” asked Kina, astounded. “So you went and dug up this joker to give me a love interest?”

“Not entirely,” replied Desdemona. “I wanted to test those Christian values that you like to tout so much and see if you'd give them up for the right man. The fact that the man happened to be your late husband's father was gravy.”

Kina glared at Desdemona. “How could you toy with my emotions like that? I thought we were friends!”

“Kina, I'm not one of your messy little girlfriends. This is a business for me. Writing is how I earn a living. Terrilyn wanted me to find your story, and I did. You should be thanking me.”

“Thanking you?” repeated Kina with disdain. “It's all I can do not to kill you!”

“Murder, Kina?” Desdemona shook her head, mocking Kina. “I swear, you Christians are about the most hypocritical people I've ever seen in my life.”

Kina focused her attention back on Elvin. “It's clear Desdemona has no scruples and will do anything for money, but why did you do it, Elvin? What was in it for you? Are you that greedy that you'd use the memory of your son and your own grandson for a few measly bucks?”

“It didn't do it just for the money,” Elvin tried to explain.

“I told you he is a very bad opportunist,” remarked Desdemona. “When I tracked him down, he was living in a homeless shelter after squandering his dead wife's insurance money and losing his house. He needed somewhere to stay, so I offered him a roof in exchange for his services.”

Kina was heartbroken. “Is it true? Did you cut a deal with this woman?”

Elvin adjusted his towel again. “Kina, if you let me explain. . .”

“It's a yes or no question, Elvin. Did she send you to me? Were you working on her behalf to destroy me?”

“It wasn't like that. She said—”

Kina interrupted him. “I really don't care what she said or what she promised you. I want to hear out of your own mouth whether or not you were a part of some scheme of hers.”

“Kina, you gotta understand. When she came to me, I ain't have nothing! When you ain't got nothing, there's nothing you won't do, because you don't have nothing to lose. She said all I had to do was get close to you for a few weeks and that you'd be coming into a lot of money soon. She said I'd be set for life if I played my cards right.”

“And how much did it cost to play with my heart, huh? How much did you charge to get closer to your grandson?”

“If it makes you feel better, he didn't come cheap,” Desdemona said, chiming in. “I had to clean him up, buy him new clothes, provide date money, and let him sleep on my sofa. Plus, I gave a thousand dollars seed money.”

Kina squinted her eyes in disbelief. “You sold your family out for a grand and a few suits?”

“I was desperate, Kina.”

“He still is. He knows it's back to the homeless shelter once I return to Atlanta,” said Desdemona.

Kina's eyes started to burn with tears. “It's all making sense now. I see why you were so adamant about us moving in together. You didn't want to build a life with me. You just needed someone else to mooch off of.”

“Kina, it may have started out that way, but the love I have for you and Kenny, that's real,” professed Elvin. “You've got to believe me.”

Kina shook her head. “I will never make the mistake of believing anything you have to say ever again!”

“You know what we mean to each other,” said Elvin.

Kina looked at him with disdain. “You mean nothing to me.”

“As much as I'd love to see this soap opera play out, I have work to do,” interjected Desdemona. “Kina, I'm sure you can find your way home. Elvin, now that you've gotten caught with your pants down, metaphorically speaking, I have no further use for you. You're dismissed as well.”

Elvin's mouth gaped open. “I don't have nowhere else to go.”

Desdemona scooped up his shoes and handed them to him. “You know what they say. You don't have to go home, but you've got to get outta here!”

Elvin had no choice but to accept his fate. He took the shoes and disappeared into the bedroom to get dressed.

“I'm not going anywhere, not yet,” insisted Kina. “I want my friends to know what you did.”

Desdemona shrugged. “Then tell them.”

“Lawson said she had her suspicions about you. I see she was right.”

“There's no crime in being very good at my job, Kina. This wouldn't have even been necessary if you were good at yours.”

“What job is that, Des? As a master manipulator?”

“As a person who knows how to get a story and make things happen.” Desdemona thought it over. “Matter of fact, call your friends. Tell them to meet at your place tomorrow. This should be interesting and definitely something worth writing about!”