For Nicky (9 page)

This is complete and utter bullshit. I won’t stand by and watch Beth and Nate get all lovey dovey. I had him first, and she’s not going to move in on what was mine to start with. I can get anyone I want to have sex with me. I’ve had younger guys, older guys, married guys, guys who thought they were gay, girls who didn’t even know they were gay, and girls who weren’t gay but still wanted me. I will get Nate back in my bed, even if just for a night. Beth doesn’t get a happy ending; she doesn’t have power here. I’m in control, and I will decide how this goes. Nate will be fucking me before the month’s end, and I’ll be sure that Beth sees it with her own eyes. Again. After she sees him fucking me, there’s no way she’ll allow him close to her. She’s probably already freaking out about dating a guy she knows I slept with before he knew her; no way she’ll let things keep going with him if she knows he had sex with me after he met her.  All I need is a couple pills from a guy I know and some drinks with Nate and Beth at my place.  A quick favor from a friend with benefits will get a strategically timed phone call to Beth to get her out of the picture for a bit. Easy-peasy. It’s a win-win really. I get some hot-guy sex, Nate gets to have sex with me again and try to prove to me that he’s not lame in bed, Beth gets reminded that she’s not in charge, I am.

I give my pill guy, Max, a call. I figure I’ll owe him a little something for payment, but it will be worth it. He gives me a few
pills, I give him some mind-blowing fucking and money. I could never afford the pills if I was paying cash only, but with the added payment I give him, the pills are mine. Max is a pretty scuzzy guy to look at and he could creep you out if you think about it too much. He’s not one of those dirty but hot guys. Max is more just dirty. But when I’m on my knees I can’t see his face and I can concentrate on just feeling good. I imagine he’s Nate pounding into me from behind and I scream as I come. Max gets off seconds later and our transaction is complete. Max gives me some shit about maybe continuing this at my house some other time but I tell him I’ll call him when he’s needed.  I check with him on the dosage of these pills. He assures me that 1 ½ pills will be enough to screw Nate up but keep the important parts functioning and the ½ pill will get Beth out of it just enough to be confused but she’ll still know what’s going on when she sees Nate with me. Perfect. Now, I just need to play nice for a while and get them to my house.

Things were all over the place after the Fall Party.  By things I mean actions and feelings.  In short, Nathan took me for a ride in his Jeep, and we ended up at the school playground.  We sat in the swings, side-by-side, and I felt carefree yet totally confused. Calm yet anxious.
Happy yet sad. But, as Nate reached out to hold my hand, my perplexed mind cleared and I took in just how right this felt. How right Nate felt.

Nate told me that Audrey needed to realize she’s a bully and get help and that I need to also get help so I can stop believing the insults she’s always throwing at me.  He said that I probably needed some time to let things in my head work themselves out, but that he wanted to take me on a real date very soon.  He drove me home and walked me to my door.  After a hug and a gentle sweet good night kiss, my knight in shining armor drove off, and I headed to bed feeling emotionally and physically exhausted.

Monday, after work, found Nate at my door step asking if I wanted to have a picnic. Um, who wouldn’t want to have a picnic with Nate Morgan? We laid a blanket on the grass in the apartment complex’s common area. Nate had brought sandwiches, chips, apples, and waters. We spent an hour eating and talking. We talked about my work, Nicky’s enthusiasm for life, Nate’s coaching, pretty much anything and everything. Nate had practice that evening so he had to head out too quickly, but I enjoyed the short time we got to spend together. “Thanks for having a picnic with me, Libby. It’s the first one I’ve ever been on as an adult and I’m glad it was with you. Have a good evening, sweet girl.” Nate drew me towards him and slowly lifted my chin with his finger. I saw a question in his eyes, he was checking with me to see if I was ok with this. I nodded my head imperceptibly and Nate’s eyes went from questioning to warm. His head lowered and within seconds his lips were on mine. His lips tasted slightly sweet from the apple he had eaten. The finger on my chin moved to cradle the side of my head and he angled me so that he was in complete control of the kiss. His mouth trailed over my jaw and towards my ear. My insides lit on fire as his lips found my neck. I shifted closer to him and he growled as he quickly pulled me against him and then abruptly stopped the kiss. “Damn, Libby, I wish I could stay, but I have practice. I need to stop this so that I can actually go to practice without embarrassing myself in front of the boys.” He motioned toward the obvious strain in the front of his pants and I had to laugh. He walked me to my door and gave me a quick kiss before jumping into his Jeep and taking off. I spent the rest of the evening with a giddy smile on my face.

Wednesday I got a delivery at work. It was a bouquet of daisies. They were absolutely gorgeous and I had tears in my eyes when I saw they were from Nate. Did he realize I’d never gotten flowers before? I never thought I’d get teary eyed over daisies, but they were just perfect and brightened my day so much. His little card was so sweet and I could tell he wrote it himself: “You’ve got me doing the craziest things, Libby-girl! Have you ever gotten flowers? I’ve NEVER sent flowers but…..
yeah, so, I hope these made you smile!” I immediately sent Nate a text to say thanks and told him I had the biggest smile ever!

Friday I got a sweet little email from Nate. How can a simple email cause so many emotions? “Hey, Libby-girl, I’m at the hobby shop helping my Uncle Dale, and I was thinking of you. This whole thing is so weird for me. I’ve never sent flowers, I don’t do picnics, I don’t do emails….but with you it’s all I think about. I know this whole thing between us is brand new, and I hope I don’t screw it up. I’ve got tournaments out of town all weekend, but I’ll text you. Maybe we can do something Monday evening?” I replied to Nate that I loved the flowers and picnic and email but he didn’t HAVE to do those things, I like him without
all of the extra. I told him that I did feel a little weird at how strongly I felt about him after such a short time because I’d never felt this way about anyone, and I don’t have a lot of experience in this department. “I’d love to do something Monday evening. Good luck in your tournaments! Maybe I can come watch you coach sometime.”

I got cute little texts from Na
te throughout the weekend and my cheeks were sore from smiling so much. He texted me between games and told me about how bad the locker room smelled. He texted while eating with the team and told me about how messy and loud the boys were. He texted me at bedtime and told me he really wished he could have a goodnight kiss, but instead he had 3 stinky, noisy, gross boys in his room planning to stay up past midnight. I questioned if he was ever like those boys and he had sent back a little smiley face and said, “Yeah, I guess they are the younger versions of me. At least I don’t stink now!” I had to laugh at the little emoticons he sent with his messages. I doubt he’d like me calling his messages adorable, but they were adorable and so very special since they were coming from Nate.

Nate called me Monday and asked if I could grab dinner with him that night. I tried not to let him hear me smiling ear to ear when I said yes, but I’m guessing he could sense I was definitely excited.  A date!
With Nathan Morgan. Honestly, I’m having a little bit of a hard time getting over the fact that he’s had sex with Audrey, but I push that thought aside and ask him what I should dress for. Nate asks if I’m up for burgers, fries, and shakes and I readily agree—YUM! Who wouldn’t be up for that?

Monday, after work, I practically skipped home to get ready for my date. It’s an unusually warm fall day so I decide to wear my discarded skirt/shirt/boots ensemble from the party at the center. Luckily, I had shaved my legs that morning; I jumped in the shower to wash quickly then spent the rest of the time redoing my hair and makeup. Nate had said he’d be out of basketball practice by 5:30. Why does thinking of him as Coach Morgan make me smile so big? Anyway, he said he’d run home to shower and change, and be over to my place by 6:15. It was 6:00 so I had some time to kill. I settled into the couch with a book to pass the time.

When Nate knocked on my door thirteen minutes later, I was all giddy and literally bounced up and down before heading to the door. When I opened the door, Nate was standing there with a heart-stopping smile wearing a perfect pair of jeans and a fitted black t-shirt with some awesome tennis shoes. I don’t know much about guys’ shoes, but I got the feeling that Nate was a shoe guy. He looked me up and down and smiled when he said, “Dang, Libby, you look fabulous! Are you ready or do you want to hang out before dinner?” I decided, since he was here, he could get the 30 second tour of my apartment. I showed him around and Nate made appropriate comments and asked questions to show he was interested in what I said. By the time we reached the living room again, Nate had grabbed my hand.

“Libby, I know things need to move slowly, and I’m more than ok with that. I’ve never been in this situation, so I’m no expert, but I want this to go right. So, you let me
know if I’m moving too fast, but I was really hoping I could kiss you before we head to dinner?”

Um, yes, please.
Nate, pulling me closer to him with the hand he was holding, used his thumb to trace my lips then let his hand slip behind my head and lowered his lips to mine. The first 1.2 seconds of the kiss was sweet, but it quickly heated up and I felt myself warming from head to toe and specific points in between. Nate turned us and walked me three steps backwards so that I was leaned up against the door. He broke the kiss, “Libby, in the past, I would have skipped dinner and taken you to bed. That’s what I’m really wanting to do. But, the problem with that plan is that I probably wouldn’t have had anything to do with you after the fact, and I definitely don’t want that. I want to spend time with you. So, I’m going to kiss you once more, then we’re getting out of here so I can take you to dinner.”

Nate lowered his mouth to mine again. By the time we broke apart this time, we were both breathing heavily and I was seriously thinking about
choosing the skip dinner option. However, we calmed our beating hearts and walked hand-in-hand to his Jeep. Nate opened the door for me and gave me a sweet, chaste kiss before shutting the door.

I loved riding in Nate’s Jeep. He was shocked when I told him I wanted him to leave the top off. The wind in my hair is one of my favorite things! The little drive-in that he took us to was awesome. I loved sitting in Nate’s Jeep eating burgers and fries and sipping my vanilla shake. We could have gone in to eat, but this just seemed more quaint and intimate. We talked about a vast variety of topics again. Favorite foods, books, movies, vacations, etc. Nate and I both liked Mexican and pizza, I mean, who doesn’t!?! Nate wasn’t much of a reader, but he promised he’d read anything I suggested to him; he said he trusted my professional opinion. Nate was a big fan of comedy movies so we had another thing in common with that, although I liked
romantic
comedies a little more than he did. I had never really been on a real vacation; we moved a lot but never took vacations. I did remember once, before Mom died, that we went to a little theme park and Audrey and I got to ride the rides. If I remember correctly, Audrey threw a fit because she said I was getting to have more fun than she was. I think Dad bought us lunch at a place where Audrey chose to eat and we left soon after that. Nate looked at me sadly. “I promise, one day, you and I will go on a special vacation just the two of us to wherever YOU choose to go, Libby!” He seemed a little taken aback at himself for promising something like that, and I was surprised, too, honestly, but I liked the thought of us going on a trip together. Nate said he loved the trips that his parents had taken them on to Chicago and Florida. He said he’d always heard of Gatlinburg, TN being a fun place, but he’d never been. I told him that Gatlinburg seemed like a good choice for our future trip. Nate smiled and leaned over close to me. “You’ve got milkshake right here,” he said as he lowered his head to mine. His warm lips touched mine and his tongue darted out to lick vanilla off my lip. Mmmm, he tasted like chocolate and fries and smelled like, well, like Nate. Perfect.

Nate and I both had to work the next day so we decided that dinner was all we had time for. We drove slowly back to my place, my hair flying around in the breeze since the top was still down.  When we pulled up to my apartment, Nate held my hand as he walked me to the door. I wasn’t sure if I should invite him in or not. On one hand, I really wanted to. On the other hand, I knew I had work in the morning and I wasn’t exactly sure how far I was ready for things to go with him. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely like Nate and want to spend more time with him and I could see a physical relationship with him developing rather quickly. However, we’ve not been dating for long, if that’s even what you could call it, and I don’t want to jump right into bed with him. Well, I WANT to, but I’m not sure it’s a good decision. Also, I keep thinking of him with Audrey and that sort of makes me shudder. It’s not like he had sex with her knowing he would later date me, so I don’t fault him. I just worry that there will be comparisons, and I won’t live up. Plus, it’s just sort of grossing me out to know he slept with her before me.
Like I’m getting her sloppy seconds.  Oh, but, after kisses with Nate, I’m so looking forward to sleeping with him. I feel like I got cheated with Austin, and I have a feeling Nate will make it up to me in ways I can’t even imagine.

All of this ran through my mind in about 20 seconds before Nate and I reached my door. “Libby-girl, I want more than anything for you to invite me in…..you have no idea how badly I want that…..but I’m thinking we should stick to some kisses out here because if I go inside with you, I’m not going to want to stop at kisses. This is totally crazy to hear these words come out of my mouth, but I’m thinking we should keep it
slow for now and not rush anything. I’ve never been a take it slow type guy, but that’s what feels right with us. For now. Are you ok with that?” Nate looked a little embarrassed after his little speech, and he ducked his head slightly and looked at me from questioning eyes.

“Nate, a huge part of me wants to invite you in and let things happen as they may. But, the other part of me thinks that this would be too soon. I want more than a few dates with you. I worry a little that if things get physical between us now, you’ll run away. It’s sort of your M.O. from what you’ve told me.  So, let’s stick to kisses out here for now. But, there’s no reason to skimp on those.”

Nate smiled a dazzling smile at me and hugged me to his body. “Libby-girl, I don’t plan on running, ok? But, let’s take it slow anyway. I think sex after a couple times of seeing each other is quite a bit soon for what I’m hoping we become.”

I looked up at Nate’s gorgeous face and watched as his eyes went from sparkling and dancing to dark and hot. His mouth came down on mine, tentatively at first, then with more intensity. My arms came up around his neck and he walked me back against the door before settling one leg between mine. I could very quickly get used to him pushing me up against walls and doors! His lips were hot and smooth, his tongue flicking out to dance across my lips. I opened my mouth slightly, just enough for his tongue to sweep inside and find mine. I felt a rumble in Nate’s chest as our tongues glided against each other. His hands settled on my waist and started to roam up under my shirt. His hands on the small of my back felt like fire to the touch. I broke the kiss to catch my breath and Nate took advantage of that to nuzzle under my chin and start kissing my neck. Little kisses and nibbles and his tongue on my earlobe were about more than I could handle. I knew I was getting wet and I felt the need to grind myself against his leg. When we both moaned, it was enough to break the spell. Nate backed up, looking sexy and winded. “Libby, I better go. I’m thinking a cold shower before bed is in store for me. Listen, I’ll text you before bed. Let’s make plans for this weekend, ok?” Nate retreated down the stairs and sat in the Jeep until he knew I was safe inside my door. I watched from the window as he waved and drove away. It was comforting to know that I wasn’t the only one wearing a goofy grin on my face.