Forever Black (15 page)
Authors: Sandi Lynn
“What’s
wrong baby?” Connor asked as he stood over me.
I
smiled to mask what I was actually feeling.
“Nothing,
I’m just sitting here looking around and wishing we could spend another night
here; it’s so beautiful.”
He
took my hand and helped me up, “There will be plenty of hotels in our future,
don’t worry.” I smiled as he used the word future, which to me meant a
relationship.
What
have I done? I need to tell him something, but I can’t, not now. Once we get
back to New York, I’ll tell him everything and watch his perfect heart-break.
Tears started to fill my eyes as he looked at me.
“Ellery
what is wrong with you? Why do you look like you’re going to cry?” He wrapped
his arms around me.
“I’m
just so happy that’s all; you’ve made me so happy.”
“You’ve
made me happy to baby; I can’t even tell you how much.”
He
kissed me and grabbed our suitcases as we headed back on the road to Michigan.
I followed behind him trying to fight back the tears.
We
were driving and deciding whose music to listen to. He liked mostly classic
rock, and I was more a pop, contemporary kind of girl, so we compromised and
took turns listening to each other’s music. I would eventually get him over to
my side of music, but that was going to take some work.
His
phone was sitting between us on the console, and it rang. I glanced over and
saw Ashlyn’s name appear. Suddenly, my stomach tied itself in knots; I felt
sick and I started to sweat. There was no way in fucking hell he was going to
continue to talk to or see her. He pressed ignore and kept his head looking
straight ahead at the road. She was someone I needed to know about, and it was
not going to be painless, but Connor is mine now and he’s going to have to tell
me the truth.
I
took in a deep breath, “Who is she Connor?” I reached over and turned off the
radio.
He
heavily sighed, “I knew you were going to ask me?”
“Ok,
then you need to tell me about her if we’re going to move forward.”
He
took my hand and held it up to his lips, “I do not want to talk about her now
Ellery, the car is not the place.”
“Fine,
I’ll wait, and we’ll discuss her later. But whatever you tell me will be ok
because things with us are different now and we’re putting all our baggage in
the past, right?”
He
looked over at me and smiled, “You bet we are.”
“I
have a question for you,” I said as I took the wrapper off my Twix bar. “Denny
told me that you’ve been different since you met me.”
He
rolled his eyes, “Denny shouldn’t be telling things like that, but it’s true. I
was intrigued by you the minute I saw you in my kitchen. When I woke up and
heard someone in the kitchen, I walked downstairs to yell at whoever it was for
being so loud. Imagine my surprise when I saw this beautiful stranger standing
there making coffee.”
“Yes,
but you yelled at me about your rules.”
He
shrugged, “Well, I thought I brought you home from the club; I’m sorry about
that.” I smacked his arm. He smiled as he looked at the road ahead.
“When
you told me what you did for me and gave me quite the attitude, it was that
moment I knew I couldn’t let you walk out of my life. Denny knew it to because
I kept talking about you and I didn’t realize it.” I laughed and reached over
to kiss his cheek, but instead shoved the Twix bar in his mouth.
We
arrived in Michigan as I grew nervous to be back to a place that harbored such
bad memories. Connor must have sensed it by my reaction. When I saw the Welcome
to Michigan sign, he grabbed my hand and held it tight. My phone rang and it was
Peyton calling.
“Hi
Peyton,” I answered.
“Oh
my god Elle, I just had to tell you about my fantastical date with Dr. Hottie
last night.”
I
started to laugh, “So, you did manage to get him to ask you out?” I put her on
speaker so Connor could hear.
“No,
I asked him out, and we went to dinner, then to a club and back to his place.
Elle, he was phenomenal. He fucks like no one ever has before.” Connor looked
at me and started laughing.
“Wow
Peyton, that’s great,” I rolled my eyes.
“Seriously
Elle, he made me do things I never thought of doing before and shit is he big.
I was worried when I saw it that it wouldn’t fit inside me. Elle, I got nervous
that I wasn’t going to be able to experience this hot man.”
Connors
mouth dropped as he was in shock by Peyton’s openness. I was used to it, so it
didn’t faze me.
“Peyton,
sweetie, I have you on speaker and Connor heard every word you just said.”
“So,
I have nothing to hide, maybe you two should try it. Live a little Connor, take
that girl to bed and show her your sexiness.” I wanted to die right there, in
the leather seat of Connors range rover.
He
unexpectedly shouted, “I already did and she was amazing, she made me do things
to her that even shocked me.” I hit him on the arm and shot him a look.
“Woo,
you go girl, we’ll swap notes when you get back. I have to go, Dr. Hottie is
summoning me back to bed,” she giggled.
I
hung up and shook my head at him, “How could you tell her that?”
“Oh
please love, like you haven’t embarrassed me before.”
I
couldn’t argue with that, especially with the bartender at the restaurant and
then the bellhop. I laughed and looked out the window at the all too familiar
place I was heading.
We
pulled into the funeral home and instantly, my stomach felt sick. I got out of
the car and took a deep breath.
“This
is the same funeral home we had for my mother and father,” I said as I stood in
front of it.
Connor
put his arm around me. “You don’t have to do this; you can call your cousin and
tell her you got sick or something.”
“No,
that’s the coward’s way out. I can’t escape reality. Besides, I have you with
me.”
We
walked through the doors. My cousin Debbie saw me and swiftly walked towards me
as we hugged each other tight.
“I’m
so sorry for your loss Debbie.”
She
started to cry on my shoulder. “I know and I’m sorry for you to; I know they
were like your surrogate parents growing up.
What
happened?” She asked as she pointed to my stitches.
“It’s
no big deal; I just fell and hit my head.”
I
looked over at Connor, “Debbie this is my friend Connor.”
She
shook his hand and then whispered to me, “I heard you and Kyle broke up, I’m
sorry.”
I
smiled, “I’m not, but thank you anyway.”
She
led us to the room where my aunt and uncle laid in their beautiful wooden
caskets. I walked over and kneeled down in front of them, praying to god to
keep them safe. Connor stood behind me with his hands clutching my shoulders. I
stood up and made my way through the crowd, saying hi to old friends and making
small conversation with distant family. I could hear the whispers of people
talking about my attempted suicide seven years ago. I could hear the pity in
their voices. The whispers went on about my dad; how he was an alcoholic and
couldn’t stop drinking enough to raise his only daughter. They went on to say
that if my mother was alive I would not have tried to take my life. I had
become the center of attention at someone’s funeral, and I was starting to get
pissed. Connor overheard the soft talks as he put his arm around me.
“Don’t
listen to them; they don’t know what they’re talking about.”
I
took in a deep breath, but couldn’t control myself any longer when I heard a
woman say, “She’s the one who tried to commit suicide to save herself from her
alcoholic father. He was too wrapped up in the death of her mother to even
realize she existed. She should have been taken away from him and then she
wouldn’t have tried to…”
Before
she could finish her sentence, I rudely interrupted her, “Who the fuck do you
think you are talking about my father and family like that?”
I
pushed my wrists in her face, “Here, see the scars. That’s right, take a good
look at them, it wouldn’t have mattered if they took me away or not, they would
still be there.”
The
whole room was standing in silence staring at me. Connor grabbed my hand, “Come
on baby let’s go. It’s not worth it.” I turned as he led me out of the funeral
home. The cold air cooled my burning skin.
“I
must say, you can put on quite a show,” Connor smiled to lighten my mood.
“I’m
sorry, I just couldn’t take anymore; I knew this was going to happen if I came
back here.”
He
held me and whispered, “Its ok, you’ve said your goodbyes to your aunt and
uncle, you told off a few people, and now we can go; unless you want to stay?”
I
shook my head, “No, let’s get out of here.”
We
hopped back into the Range Rover as Connor searched for hotels on his GPS. “If
you’re looking for luxury then I suggest the Athenuem Suite Hotel.”
He
looked over at me and smiled, “Funny; that’s what my phone is telling me. I can
reserve the Presidential Suite right here online.” He did just that and then took
my hand. “Where do you want to go?”
I
brought his hand to my lips and gently kissed it. “I need to go visit my mom
and dad’s grave; it’s not too far.”
He
punched the address in his GPS as we headed toward the cemetery. I asked if we
could make a quick stop at the flower shop so I could pick up some flowers.
We
arrived at the cemetery. I directed Connor where to park to make it easier to
get to their graves. We got out of the car. I took his hand and led him to
where my parents were buried. The air was brisk for the end of September. I
remembered warmer days this time of year. We walked to the graves for my mother
and father that sat side by side.
“My
father made sure to buy the plot next to where my mother was buried because
that way they could be together forever. He loved my mother very much and he considered
her his soul mate; that’s why when she died, a part of him died with her.”
Connor
knelt beside me and kissed me on the head, “That’s beautiful.” I put the
flowers on my mother’s grave first and then my fathers. Connor got up, “I’m
going to give you some privacy,” he said as he walked a few feet away.
I
sat down on the grass and placed the flowers on each grave. “Hi mom, hi dad, I
cannot believe it’s been over a year since I’ve visited you last. A lot has
changed in the past year. I moved to New York and started selling my paintings
in a small art gallery. I met an incredible guy there; in fact he’s here with
me now. I know you’d like him daddy. He’s sweet, charming, kind, really sexy,
and I believe he would do anything for me.”
I
leaned in closer to their graves and whispered; I love him mom and dad, for the
first time in my life I’m truly in love. We’re leaving Michigan tomorrow, so I
wanted to stop by and say hi and let you know I’m doing well.” Tears swelled in
my eyes. Connor walked over and put his hands on my shoulders. “I love both of
you very much, and I miss you.” He helped me up as I took in a deep breath and
composed myself.
Connor
took me in his arms and held me. “You’re far too young to have experienced so
much death Ellery; it hurts me to know what you’ve been through.”
My
chest started to tighten, and panic started to settle in. I needed to tell him
my secret, but I was too scared about how he was going to react. I couldn’t
lose him, not now, I loved him too much.
He
stood with me and stared at my parent’s grave. “I can’t even imagine losing my
parents, especially at such a young age. You amaze me Ellery with your strength
because I don’t know if I could have made it through.”
“You’re
amazing, and I don’t know what I did to deserve to have you in my life.” I kissed
his cool lips and smiled as we walked back to the Range Rover and headed for
the hotel.
We
arrived at the hotel and took the elevator up to the Grand Room. I was getting
use to this Presidential Suite thing. Connor went to the fireplace and turned
it on. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “You feel so
good,” I said as I took in his scent.
“Not
as good as you feel baby,” he whispered as he buried his nose in my head.
“Dance
with me,” I asked.
A
beautiful smile graced his face. “I would love to dance with you, but let me
put on some music first.