Forever (Cruiser & Lex, Book 3) (11 page)

Lex

As I’m catching up on my homework, something shines on my window. I ignore it because I assume it’s a passing car, but then it grows more intense, more urgent. I leap off my bed and pull my curtain aside. Cruiser waves at me from his window.

“You’re home!”

He grins. “Just finished unpacking.”

It feels so good to have him living across from me again. After he moved away and when he was in the hospital, I used to sit here and look at his window and think about us. About our childhood, our friendship, how we grew so close and fell in love. Now that he’s back, his face will once again be the last thing I see before I go to sleep.

“So,” I say, leaning forward and resting my arms on the sill.

“So.”

I laugh. “How does it feel to be back?”

“Awesome. Because I get to look at you all night.”

My cheeks burn.

“Were you busy?” he asks.

“Just homework.”

“Hmm.” He rubs his chin. “Looks like I’ll need a tutor. Do you know any Sharkettes who are up for the task?”

“Why a Sharkette?” I ask, my voice filled with humor.

“Well to be honest, there’s this Sharkette I have a crush on. Like a major crush. The kind of crush that makes it hard to eat and sleep. Hell, to even breathe.”

My blood is speeding through my veins. “Lucky girl,” I say, my voice shaky.

“Yeah.” He sighs dramatically. “If only she knew I existed.”

“You should tell her how you feel.”

He nods. “Yeah. But I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know if she feels the same about me.”

“She does. She has a crazy crush on you, too.”

Cruiser smiles, and I return it. We just stare at each other.

Someone opens a window. Rey sticks his head out. “You know your conversation isn’t exactly private, don’t you? And that it’s past midnight. Some of us are trying to get our beauty sleep.”

I cover my mouth as I laugh. Cruiser says, “Stick your head back into your own room.”

Rey’s chuckle echoes through the night as he closes his widow.

“He does have a point,” I tell Cruiser. “We need to be quieter.”

“Hmm. How about a game?” he whispers, though loud enough for me to hear.

“
Guess that Word
?” It’s a game we used to play all the time as kids. We’d tuck flashlights under our chins and say a word. The other person had to guess it. We played it once when we became a couple, and Cruiser gave me the most romantic message ever. It’s time I return the favor.

“Good choice,” he says.

We both disappear from our windows to get our flashlights. I search through my bottom drawer for mine and tap it a few times to make sure the batteries work. When I return to the window, Cruiser has his under his chin and is moving his mouth without saying anything. He looks pretty creepy.

“Cruiser.” I laugh.

“I am the ghost of the guy who used to live here.” He opens his mouth and closes it a few more times, making these freaky noises. “I have come to take the souls of the people living here.” He makes those noises again. “I have already claimed this boy’s arm. His other one will come next, and then his legs, and then the rest of his body. But not his heart. Want to know why? Because his heart is filled with too much happiness and love. And all those rotten emotions kill me.”

I laugh. “Okay, you are seriously freaking me out.”

“Why? Remember all those times we locked ourselves in my closet and told scary stories?”

I smile as the memories play through my head. “You always scared the heck out of me.”

Laughing, he shakes his head. “Not as much as Rey. Man, he was such a pussy.”

“I heard that!” Rey yells from his room.

“It’s true!” Cruiser calls back. “One time you ran to Mom and got me in trouble. You were all yelling and crying.”

The window to Rey’s room creaks open and he sticks his head out. “Did not.”

“You sure as hell did, bro.”

He rolls his eyes. “Go to hell.” And he disappears from view.

Cruiser turns back to me. “He really was a pussy.”

“I know. I remember.”

He looks satisfied. “Good. I like that you remember all these things. Makes me feel like all we’ve experienced was important to you.”

“It was. It is. I cherish all our memories.”

“Me, too.”

Our past ones and our future ones.

“Ready?” Cruiser asks, placing the flashlight back under his chin.

“I believe it’s my turn,” I say, tucking mine under my chin.

Cruiser nods.             

I clear my throat. “Cruiser.”

“Cruiser.”

“Is.”

“Is.”

“The.”

“The.”

“Most.”

“Most.”

“Amazing.”

“Amazing.”

“Handsome.”

“Of course he is.”

“Cruiser!”

“Sorry. Handsome.”

“Guy.”

“Guy.”

“In.”

“In.”

“The.”

“The.”

“Whole.”

“Whole.”

“World.”

“World.”

“And.”

“And.”

“I.”

“I.”

“Love.”

“Love.”

“Him.”

“Him.”

“To.”

“To.”

“Death.”

“Death.”

His voice was steady throughout most of this, but it wavers a bit at the last word. He lowers his head and says, “Thanks, darlin.’ Wish I could hug you.”

“Me, too.”

“My turn or bed?”

“Bed, I think. You’re probably so tired.”

“Nah. You gotta be up early for practice?”

I nod.

“Wish I could climb into your room and hold you while we sleep.”

“Will my stuffed hippo help?”

His face washes with surprise. “You’d give me your prized possession?”

“Of course.”

“Meet me downstairs.”

After sweeping my hippo off my bed, I carefully make my way downstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. I close the front door softly behind me and find Cruiser waiting for me on the ramp in front of my house. We race toward each other and fall into each other’s arms. Cruiser kisses me, then puts his hands on the sides of my head and looks into my eyes. “Hey, beautiful.”

“Hey, handsome.” I kiss his forehead. “Have you spoken to the Sharkette you have a crush on?”

“Hell yeah. And I made out with her, too. Made out a lot.”

I lick my lips, which makes Cruiser groan. “Is she a good kisser?” I ask.

“Dunno. I might have to test it out.” He softly brushes his lips against mine. I deepen the kiss, taking his lips in mine and not letting go, not until I hear another groan in the back of his throat.

When our lips come apart, we’re both huffing like we ran a marathon. “The best kisser in the whole damn world,” he murmurs.

“She thinks you’re not so bad yourself.”

He pecks my nose. “He is very grateful for your kind words.”

We smile, and then I lay my head on his chest. He gently runs his hand through my hair and massages my scalp. It feels so good and I’m so comfortable that I feel my eyes droop. Through the fog of sleep that’s starting to claim my mind, I feel Cruiser’s heart beating erratically.

“What’s this thing on my chest?” he murmurs, his voice barely audible, as though he’s on the way to Sleep Land, too.

I’m knocked awake. What thing is he talking about? Then I feel it, too, under my upper chest. I reach between us and pry it out. Then I start laughing. “My hippo.”

Cruiser’s chest rumbles as he chuckles. “Ah, my sleeping buddy for tonight.”

“And the next night, and even the next. However long you want her.” I hold the hippo out to him.

“You sure?” He brings it to his nose and sniffs deeply. He sighs contently. “This is the most amazing smell in the world.”

My cheeks warm up. “My smell?”

He sniffs it again. “Smells just like you. Mmm.”

I laugh shyly.

He tucks it in between his sling and chest. “I will take very good care of her.”

“Just so you know, she has magical powers and will help you fall asleep. In case you’re having trouble sleeping.”

He puts a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I don’t think I can ever get a good night’s sleep unless you’re in my arms.”

So many emotions run through me. I’m elated and feel so good and special and like the happiest girl on the planet, but then I feel guilty. Cruiser loves me so much. So, so much. I don’t deserve it.

“Hey.” He touches the side of my cheek. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just feel like I don’t deserve you.”

He presses his forehead against mine. “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”

“You’re such an amazing guy, Cruiser.”

“No. You’re the amazing one.”

How can I be? I broke his heart, more than once. I pushed him away after Rosie’s accident. I broke up with him because of the whole Erica thing. He’s too good for me.

But I need to move on. I’ve made mistakes, and Cruiser has made mistakes. The important thing is that we can get past them and work on having a great relationship.

The front door to my house opens, revealing Mom. Cruiser and I break out of each other’s arms so fast it’s like we were electrocuted.

“Lex?” Mom says, her voice sleepy. “What are you doing out here at one o’clock in the morning?” Her eyes land on Cruiser. “Cruiser? Is that you?”

“Sorry, I’m coming in!” I say.

“You know the rules, Lex Woods. If you’re not in here in thirty seconds…!”

“Okay, okay.”             

Cruiser gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. “’Night, darlin’. See you tomorrow.”

I wish I could give him a proper hug and good night kiss, but I’m worried Mom will start putting stricter rules on my relationship with Cruiser. I blow him a kiss before running inside. Mom opens her mouth to scold me, but I tell her I’m sorry, that Cruiser just came home and I was really excited to see him. Mom nods, and then returns to her room. Either she’s too tired to deal with this, or she understands how I feel.

In my room, I wait by my window until Cruiser appears in his. I put my finger on my lips, then wave to him. He puckers his lips, then kisses my hippo all over the face. I giggle when I understand what he’s doing. It’s like he’s kissing me.

I blow him another kiss before climbing into bed.

Cruiser

No matter what I wear, I still look lame.

This damn sling. Kids will stare. Yeah, most of them know about the incident—at least, that’s what I assume—but they’ll still stare at me like I only got my boxers on. Whatever. I’m just happy to be back with Lex. Back to how things used to be.

A smell reaches my nose. Pancakes, toast. Other stuff that I can’t identify but make my mouth water and my stomach whine in hunger. Mom’s breakfast. I almost forgot that people actually eat in the morning. Or that some people actually have a good meal before they head off to work or school. I lick my lips as my mouth continues to water. I’ve missed Mom’s cooking.

When I leave my room, I see Rey’s door is still shut. He should be up by now. Before he got his personality change, he was up at the crack of dawn—yeah, exaggeration—always running off somewhere. To a violin lesson, a club at school. Hell if I knew where. Twin telepathy tells me Rey’s nervous to go back to school. Last they remember, Rey had that ridiculous Mohawk and ripped clothes, hung out with the losers of the school, and ditched his old friends and school activities.

I thump on the door and start imitating a rooster. All I get is silence. “Yo, Rey!” I call, thumping again. “You better get your ass up because you’re my ride to school.”

I hear the bed creak. Then a moan. “What’s the matter? Too handicapped to drive yourself?”

I thump on the door again. Hard.

Rey groans. “Geez, I’m up!”

Mom’s at the stove when I walk in, flipping pancakes. As soon as she sees me, she rushes over to the table and pulls out a chair for me. Then she grabs a plate and stacks three pancakes on it. “Let me know if you want more.”

I feel…weird. I don’t like her giving me all this attention. I mean, as a kid I always wanted her to give me as much attention as she gave Rey. But it’s different now. I don’t want her to treat me like a king.

“Thanks.” I sit down. She pushes the plate closer to me and slides a fork into my half-open hand.

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

I’m about to tell her not to wait on me like I’m royalty, but like last night, I realize she wants to do this for me. Because she wants to show me that she cares. “Never mind.”

“Is your brother up yet?” she asks.

“Yeah, I just woke him.”

“Let’s hope he chooses to wear decent clothes.”

Last Mom remembers is Rey dressing like a thug to school. She doesn’t know he hasn’t worn any of those clothes since we moved in with Dad. “I don’t think you got anything to worry about,” I tell her.

As if on cue, Rey comes downstairs. Dressed in normal clothes. Mom sighs in relief.

“Dude, pancakes!” He leaps for the table. Somehow in less than thirty seconds, he manages to pile four pancakes on a plate, sits down, and stuffs half of one into his mouth. “So good,” he says. He swallows hard and continues to devour the food like he hasn’t eaten anything worth crap in weeks.

“It’s my pleasure, boys.” Mom looks real happy. No, more than happy. I can’t think of the word at the moment. It feels good to make her feel this way. She was pretty down after Dad left, and then was a mess with my attack. She doesn’t know how many times I heard her crying at the hospital when she thought I was asleep. I don’t know why, since I didn’t sustain any major damage. But I guess it was the fear of what could have happened to me. The fear of what would have happened if I died.

“Are you going to eat that?” Rey nods at my plate. I’m not even halfway through my first pancake.

I yank my plate closer to me. “Mine.”

Mom laughs. “I’ll make you some more.” She goes to the stove. Rey and I continue eating until she returns with the new batch of pancakes. Rey grabs two. Mom laughs again. “Did your father cook at all?”

“Not really,” Rey says, his mouth full.

“Basically pasta.”             

Mom doesn’t look pleased. “He never could take care of himself. His parents babied him and expected me to do the same.”

“Mom,” I say.

Rey scowls.

“Sorry,” she says.

We eat in silence. Mom watches us. After a few minutes, bro says, “Do you want him to come home?”

Mom looks surprised. “Your father?”

“No, the Easter Bunny,” Rey mutters.

I give him a kick underneath the table. He tries to return it, but I move my leg out of the line of fire. He nearly slides off his chair and splats on the floor. “Shit, Cruise!”

“Language, Reagan.”

He straightens himself and mumbles under his breath. Mom doesn’t hear, but I do because of the twin telepathy. He said, “Again with the nagging.” I’d kick him again, but I don’t want to start this thing all over again.

Mom clears her throat. “So are you planning on signing up to any clubs?”

It’s obvious she doesn’t want to talk about Dad.

Rey shrugs. “I heard Loser Cruiser wants to be a theater geek.” He laughs to himself. “Loser Cruiser. Oh my God, I can’t believe this is the first time I’m coming up with this. Loser Cruiser.” He laughs like a damn hyena.

“Reagan,” Mom says. Then she looks at me. “Theater is a great club.” Her eyes are dancing. Because this is the first time I’m actually being part of a school activity. She turns back to Rey. “What about orchestra? And didn’t you want to join orchestra, too, Elvis?”

I nod toward my sling. Mom frowns and looks apologetic.

“I’m sure they can give you a lame instrument, Loser Cruiser. Maybe the triangle? Oh, never mind. You need two hands for that.”

This kid is going to make me bust a vein.

“Reagan,” Mom says again. “Elvis, maybe there is something you can play at orchestra. Just talk to the teacher in charge.”

“The tambourine!” Rey says.

“Shut up!” I say.

“Boys,” Mom warns.

Rey holds out his hands in defense. “Touchy.”

“It’s your first morning back,” Mom says.

I want to yell
I’m in this damn sling because of you
! But I use every bit of my willpower to hold back. There’s no point in making things worse. Rey’s acting like a little shithead because he’s nervous to go back to South Beach High. Nervous to face the people and things he once loved and misses. I just got to bear with it until he grows some balls.

We both get quiet. Just munch on our pancakes. More like Rey munches while I take small bites. He does look guilty for what he said, though.

Mom clears her throat again. “What about law club, Reagan? And debate?”

Rey shrugs. “I don’t really like them.”

“You used to love those clubs.”

“Used to love a lot of things.”

Mom frowns like she doesn’t exactly know what he’s referring to. But she skips it because she says, “I’m going to call your violin teacher and schedule an appointment for this afternoon.”

Rey explodes out of his chair. “Are you serious?”

Mom blinks at him.

“Who said I want violin lessons?”

She blinks again. “If you don’t keep practicing and performing at recitals, how are you going to get scouted?”

He throws his hands up. Marches out the door, slamming it behind him.

Mom’s never looked so confused before.

I play around with my pancake.

“Elvis, what’s going on?” she asks.

“Rey and his violin…they’re not exactly getting along at the moment.”

She raises her eyebrows.

“Give him time, Mom. Rey loves the violin. We all know that. He’ll come around.”

I hope it won’t be too long before Rey tells her what went down at Kelman’s. If he even plans on telling her.

Mom rubs her forehead. Sighs. I know what she’s thinking: how did things get so screwed up?

I stand. “Thanks for breakfast, Mom.”

She gives me a smile. It’s forced. “Have a great day.”

I sweep my backpack off the floor and throw it over my shoulder.

Rey’s back is pressed against the building when I get out. Arms crossed over his chest. A scowl on his face. “When are you going to tell her?” I ask.

He ignores me and storms toward his car. He sits there with this pissed-off expression on his face. I wait a bit for him to calm down before I get in, stashing my bag between my feet. I open my mouth, but Rey says, “Don’t.” He starts the car.

“Fine. I won’t.”             

He steps on the gas and gets on the road. The car is silent.

After two minutes—yeah, I counted—Rey says, “Okay, what?”

“What?”

“I know you want to say something. So say it.”

“I got nothing to say. Just that Mom’ll understand what you’re going through if you just tell her.”

He scoffs. “She’ll never understand.”

“You’d rather blow up on her all the time?”

He squeezes the steering wheel. “Can you drop this?”

“Okay. It’s dropped.”

“Thank you.”

The rest of the ride is quiet. My head isn’t, though. I’ve come to a conclusion: I’m here for Rey. I will always be here for him. But if he won’t be there for himself, there’s nothing else I can do. What went down with Jake and his jackasses had to have knocked some sense into him. Hopefully, more sense will get knocked into him soon. He’s got to face things at his own pace.  I got to learn to give him some space, no matter how long it’ll take. I guess I need to believe that he can get past this without my having to be in his business. I need to treat him normal.

When we get to school, I get out of the car and throw my arm over his shoulder. “Maybe we should have landed here with nothing on but shoes. Then these morons wouldn’t stare at us like this.”

I’m not exaggerating. They really are staring. We should have sent them a memo so they could prepare themselves.

Rey snorts. “I don’t get it. Remind me why they’re staring.”

“Because they know Jake beat the shit out of me?”

“Right. So why are they staring at me?”

“Because you’re lame as hell and they don’t want you here.” I dig my fist into his hair.

He breaks free of my hold. “Be nice or I won’t carry your books for you.”

I make a tsk tsk noise. Then I dump my backpack on him. “To think you made me carry this with my broken arm.”

Rey rolls his eyes. “You’re taking advantage of me.”

“Hell yeah.” I elbow him before walking to the gym. Lex should be finishing up with dance practice. She’s been on my mind all morning. No, that’s a lie. She hasn’t left my mind once.

“Where’re you going?” Rey calls after me.

“We attached at the hip?”             

“Yep.”

I wave my hand before continuing on.

“I guess I’ll keep your bag then?” he says.

I turn around and march back over to him. Hold out my arm. He helps me get one of the straps on my shoulder and settles it on my back.

“Thank you, kind gentleman,” I say.

He snorts.

When I get to the gym, I peek inside and see the Sharkettes doing their routine. It doesn’t take me more than two seconds to spot my girl. I stand here for a bit, watching her. See the way her body moves to the beat of the music. Like I told her so many times, she is the hottest, most talented Sharkette on the whole squad. I mean it.

She doesn’t see me. She’s too focused on her moves. I take a step in and lean on the wall. I don’t want to disturb her, just want to see those beautiful eyes light up when she sees me.

“Cruiser Dalton,” a familiar voice says from behind me. I turn around and come face to face with Carter, the school’s guidance counselor. She smiles this sweet smile that might look fake on someone else. But not her. Though I’m not one to be open with my feelings and whatnot, she’s not that bad.

“Sup?” I say.             

Without warning, she throws her arms around me. Because of my lame arm and my weak state, I almost lose my balance. Damn, either she’s been working out, or I’m really as strong as a tissue. “Welcome back!”

I just stand still. Her hugging me doesn’t seem right.

She rubs my back like it’s supposed to comfort me or tell me some message. Then she pulls away and gives me that smile again. “How are you?” Her eyes dip to my sling for two seconds before going back to my face.

“How do I look?”             

“Like a smart young man with a bright future ahead of him.”

I tilt my broken arm toward her. “Like the new addition?”

“Looks good on you.”

I glance back at the Sharkettes. They have finished their routine. Most of them have gone to the showers. I don’t see Lex.

“Come see me during first period, Cruiser. Okay?” Carter says.

First period. She wants me to miss class? Damn, I’m so behind. I should object, but she’s not suggesting. She’s telling. No, ordering.

“Fine,” I mutter.

She gives me another one of those smiles before walking off. I look back into the gym and see Lex. Some of the other girls blocked her before. She’s sitting on the side, downing a water bottle. Chugging and chugging and squeezing the thing. When she’s done, she falls back and breathes heavily. Wipes her mouth. I head over to her. When she sees me, she leaps and flings her arms around me. My good arm wraps around her and holds her tight.