Forgive Me (31 page)

He gets excited and all the way home he has a little skip in his step. When he walks into the driveway, he immediately notices my suitcase sitting next to Zander’s truck. He turns and looks at me, a little confused. “Are we going to see Nan for Christmas?” He scratches his head.

“Well Christmas isn’t for another week and half, what do you think?”

“We aren’t on vacation until Friday, and I didn’t think you had time off work. So I don’t know.”
              Bless his heart, he really is confused. I smile and look up to Zander. “You want to tell him?”

“Nope,” he says with a wink.

“Oh, well, I guess never mind.” I start walking towards the house.

Justin pleads, “No fair! Tell me, please!”

Laughing I continue walking towards dad’s house. I get inside seconds before Justin comes barging in. “This isn’t fair, I wanna know.” He gives me those darn little puppy dog eyes and I can’t keep the act up any longer.

“Fine… what do you think about moving?”

He faces pinches and I don’t think he gets it… or likes the idea. Until all of a sudden his mouth gapes open. “We get to move in with dad?”

I nod my head, grinning at him. “Only if you want.”

“Yes!” he screams. He runs over and wraps his arms around my waist. “I just knew one day we’d be a real family, I just knew it.”

My eyes immediately water, with both sadness and happiness, and I realize that I’m so much more blessed than I could have ever imagined. Justin too. It was a rough ten years, but they were worth it to be where we are now. I still would give anything to go back and change a few things, but then again, we may not have ever ended up in this situation if so.

Maybe you have to know the darkness

Before you can appreciate the light.

-Madeleine L’Engle

“I don’t know, I think I like the yellow one better.”

Zander glares at me. “We’re not painting that damn barn yellow.”

I pout my lips at him. “You’re not very nice. What do you think Justin?” I turn to face Justin who is shaking his head.

“I still vote red, like a normal person.” I smile at his response.

“I like red,” Zander says with a chuckle. I’m reminded of when he admitted to why that was his favorite color, so I roll my eyes and agree the dang barn can be red.

We fill the cart with the supplies needed and continue walking around the store. Once we’re finished up there, we head home. Pulling into the driveway, I look over to the barn we built over the course of this summer, and it looks spectacular. Just as I’ve dreamed, even without being painted yet. I cannot wait to have horses roaming through the fenced in yard, or in the barn being groomed and fed.

I started begging Zander about three months after we moved in together to have horses and a barn. He pretended that he didn’t want any of it, but I knew deep down he did. And he made me overjoyed when he came home with supplies to start building, which was the week Justin’s school let out. Giving us a summer project.

Sadly ‘ol man Jones passed away, but with that Zander got the Plantation to himself, where he hired Gunner back on for help, and gave him a great salary as well. He needed it too, since Magnolia became pregnant with their first child just weeks after he started working there. She is currently five months pregnant, and I’m happy to have a second niece on the way.

With Clay having a little one already, and Gunner having one on the way, I’ve been overjoyed. Being an aunt is almost as wonderful as being a mom, and this time around, I can enjoy the benefits of having a baby in the family. When asked by Faith if I were going to have another, Justin’s ears perked up and he seemed way too excited about the idea of it. Zander and I both looked at each other like the idea of it was ridiculous, but I have to admit, ever since being asked, I’ve thought a lot about it.

I finally asked Zander two days ago what his thought was on it and he said he’d like to work on
us
a little more first, but with time he could see us most certainly having a child or two. That made me happy, so in the meantime, I’m focusing on our barn, our home, and our family.

I honestly think what convinced Zander was when I mentioned that he could be there for all the firsts for this child, and that we could raise him or her together. He acted like that didn’t thrill him, but I knew it did. We already have a crib and some nursery supplies for when I have my niece, Dixie, overnight. It wouldn’t take much to turn it into a nursery, and I may have mentioned that once or twice as well.

We climb out of the pickup and Justin helps Zander unload while I grab a couple of paint buckets, heading in the direction of the barn. I place the buckets down when I get inside and pull my tee-shirt off, having only my tank top on. Even will fall approaching, the weather has been perfect, and doing something like painting outside certainly calls for minimal clothing.

Justin and Zander manage to bring all the supplies over in one load, and we prep to start painting the barn. I turn the radio on and am happy to hear one of my favorite songs,
Rain Is A Good Thing
by Luke Bryan. Zander chuckles and says, “Oh, whiskey makes you frisky huh?”

I wink at him while belting out the lyrics. When the song ends, I tell him, “Well that is what I was drinking the day I showed up and put a stop to your wedding.” My cheeks blush and he looks over at me a little wide eyed but not completely shocked.

“You’re kind of like a shot of whiskey,” he says randomly. It makes me grin and at the same time, I’m reminded of a silly quote I saw on Facebook one day- you know, after I joined like I promised Kenneth I would.

“I’d rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea.”

He pulls me into a hug, kissing my forehead gently. “You’re my whiskey in a teacup.”

“And you’re my cowboy that needs to get my barn painted.” I pull back and look at him.

“Yes ma’am,” he says, deepening his southern drawl, tipping his hat at me.

I’m pretty sure that just turned me on greater than anything ever has, but with our son just a couple feet away from us, I sadly ignore my yearning.

The three of us go into the early evening painting the barn, only finishing half of it. Knowing we can’t get it finished, we pack up the supplies and put things away. Justin heads in early, asking if he can take a shower, and I let him.

Just as Zander and I start to head back to the house, he stops me and points up to the hay loft. “We got a few minutes, what do you say? While there is no hay up there.”

I’m immediately wet and ready for him as I nod my head. I climb the ladder and he comes up after me. Looking around the hay loft, I see that its not going to be a comfortable place to have sex. The floors are wooden and I’m nervous about getting splinters, and the ceiling is shaped like an ‘A’, so we can’t do it against the wall.

I turn to face Zander, ready to tell him this, when I notice him down on one knee. My heart stops immediately, then speeds up so fast, I’m surprised it doesn’t come fly out of my chest.

“When you walked back into my life, Lexi, I wasn’t sure if I could ever forgive you. And that was before I even knew about Justin. When you left me all those years ago, you had broken my heart in a way only a true love could, and I never knew I’d be able to feel love again. But when I laid my lips upon yours, the spark inside me ignited and I knew deep down, one day, we’d up end together. I tried to fight it, but really there was no use. You’re the love of my life, Lexi, and you always will be. Will you please do me the honor in becoming my wife?”

Sobbing at his words, I start nodding my head frantically. I don’t even notice the ring until he is sliding it onto my finger. I don’t know much about jewelry, but what I do know is he knows exactly what I like. The ring is silver, and has a large, single diamond. Its stunning, but not as stunning as the man kneeling before me.

“Get up,” I tell him once it’s on. He smiles up at me larger than I’ve ever seen, and we wrap our arms around one another. “I love you so much Zander Fields.”
              “I’m pretty sure I love you more, the future Mrs. Fields.”

The barn has hanging lanterns coming down from the different beans throughout the barn, all lit with tea lights. The shimmering of the lights against the wall looks so beautiful, I stare at it in awe. I can hear the sweet melody of music in the background along with everyone outside having conversations with one another.

Bray walks over and gives me a large hug, bringing me out of my daze. “Ready?”

“I’ve been ready most my life.”

She grins at me before adjusting a piece of my hair. “You are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen. And that is saying a lot, because I’ve been married twice.”

I glare at her as she smiles, but then we both laugh a little. It eases my tension a little. “Thanks, I think I needed that.”

“You don’t need anything besides to walk down that aisle and marry the man of your dreams.”

I take a few deep breaths then nod my head. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Yay,” she says with a small clap. “I’m going to get your dad and tell Zander you’re ready.”

She takes off and it isn’t three minutes later that my dad walks into the barn. He looks so handsome in his charcoal gray tux and white tie. He adjusts the knot at his neck before he smiles warmly at me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone more beautiful than you.”

I actually blush, between him and Bray both calling me beautiful in a matter of minutes. I know it’s the right thing to say to a bride, but it still feels awkward. “Thank you,” I tell him.

His eyes moisten as he takes me in completely. “I feel like I just got you back and I’m already losing you.”

“Aw, dad.” I walk forward and wrap my arms around him. “Don’t say things to me like that, you’ll make me cry. You’ll never lose me again. I’m less than ten minutes away, where I’ve been the last year.”

He sighs and I feel him rubbing at my shoulders. “Okay, we don’t need you crying, lets get you down this aisle before I change my mind.”

I step away and smile with a raised brow. “You change your mind?”

“I don’t have to give you away. I can fight this.”

I point a finger at him. “Don’t you dare. I don’t think your grandbabies will be too impressed.” I pat my growing belly, where our second little boy is on his way, and cock my head to the side, daring my dad to argue.

He laughs. “Alright, lets get this shotgun wedding on the road.”

I smack his arm and walk towards the sliding doors. Bray peeks her head inside. “Ready for real this time?”
              “Yes, Bray, we’re ready.”
              She turns back around seconds before the music starts. I peek out and watch as first Torin and Rease make their way down the aisle, side by side, then Magnolia and Faith, and lastly Bray. At the other end of the aisle stands both my brothers, Justin, and finally, my handsome husband to be.

Step by step I make my way towards him and it feels as though we’re the only two in the world. I can feel my dad aside me but he is non-existent right now. No one is in my vision besides the love of my life. And in just a handful of minutes, I’ll be Mrs. Zander Fields.

I think there comes a time when you meet someone and

You just want to make them smile for the rest of your life.

-unknown