Forgiveness (37 page)

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Authors: Iyanla Vanzant

BOOK: Forgiveness
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D
AILY
F
ORGIVENESS
P
ROCESS
R
EMINDERS

For a more detailed explanation of the
Daily Forgiveness Process Guidelines
,

 
  1. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for at least 30 to 60 minutes.
  2. Still your mind for at least 5 minutes or listen to the
    Stillness Meditation.
  3. Read the Forgiveness Prayer once silently and once aloud.
  4. Scan the
    Emotional Triggers
    List.
  5. Write out the 12 Forgiveness Statements for each day’s topic on thinking, judging, and believing in your Forgiveness Journal (Days 1–18). Write your Forgiveness Letters (Days 19–21).
  6. Perform your Pro EFT™ Forgiveness Tapping Sequences.
  7. Process thoughts and feelings consciously through your Forgiveness Journal Reflections.
  8. Listen to the
    Gratitude Meditation
    on the Forgiveness CD.
  9. Complete the day’s practice in quiet reflection or with meditative music.
  10. Be sure to do something good for yourself today!

 

I F
ORGIVE
M
YSELF FOR
J
UDGING
O
THERS

(Friends or Frenemies, Family, Co-Workers, Bosses, Acquaintances, and Even Strangers)

T
oday’s forgiveness practice is about forgiving the secret, unspoken, or long-held grievances you may hold about or against the people with whom you interact often. This includes those people in the work or social environment, or even extended family members that you believe have harmed, hurt, dishonored, or disrespected you at one time or another.

Y
OU WILL NEED TO FORGIVE FRIENDS WHOM YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF OR THOSE TO WHOM YOU HAVE NOT BEEN WILLING TO SPEAK THE TRUTH
.

You will need to forgive friends whom you don’t know how to get rid of or those to whom you have not been willing to speak the truth. Today you can address all the others with whom you may have an unresolved upset. Again, give yourself permission to be radically honest; name names and recall incidents. Make a list and, if necessary, take a day to do the work on each person.

 

A P
RAYER OF
F
ORGIVENESS

precious Lord of My Life and Being:

It is my deepest and most heartfelt desire to be a better me today. I desire to be more of what and who You created me to be today. I desire to create a life and relationships that complement who You are in me. Today, I set my hands to do Your work. I allow my heart and mind to align with Your will, and I come present to each moment, allowing all possibilities to unfold in a manner that honors You. Today, I release all personal judgment and complaints and embrace the beauty and goodness of every experience. I give myself permission to do things differently, in a more loving way. I take authority and dominion over my old habits and patterns so that I will awaken to a new way of thinking, being, and living. I forgive all things, people, and experiences of the past. I take a few moments each hour to offer gratitude to You for allowing a better me to emerge today.

I lay my weapons down

I open my heart to peace today.

I rest in Thee today.

I let it be!

And so it is!


Rev. Heather Mizell

 

– I F
ORGIVE
M
Y
M
IND FOR
T
HINKING

EXAMPLE

I forgive my mind for thinking that I have control over what people think about me.
I forgive my mind for thinking that
should
I forgive my mind for thinking that
should not
I forgive my mind for thinking that
is obligated to
I forgive my mind for thinking I am responsible for the
of

 

– I F
ORGIVE
M
YSELF FOR
J
UDGING

EXAMPLE

I forgive myself for judging the co-workers who have criticized and ridiculed my beliefs.
I forgive myself for judging
as
I forgive myself for judging
as
I forgive myself for judging
as
I forgive myself for judging
as

 

– I F
ORGIVE
M
YSELF FOR
B
ELIEVING

EXAMPLE

I forgive myself for believing my boss is being disrespectful for not saying good morning.
I forgive myself for believing
about
I forgive myself for not believing
about
I forgive myself for believing that others
I forgive myself for not believing that others

 

– T
APPING
S
EQUENCE

Review Basic
Tapping Sequence
Guidelines.

 
  1. Review each of the day’s 12 Forgiveness Statements out loud. This will help you identify the specific aspects of the issue that you want to tap on.
  2. Rate the intensity level of any unforgiveness you hold about today’s topic on a scale of 1 to 10. Write the number down.
  3. Neutralize all subconscious resistance. Repeat a Reversal Statement 3 times while tapping continuously on the Karate Chop point.
  4. Focus on the issue you’ll be tapping on. Repeat a Set-Up Statement 3 times while tapping continuously on the Karate Chop point.
  5. Tap 7 times on each of the 10 meridian points while repeating out loud the key details from the 12 Forgiveness Statements. This process can be modeled on the bonus Tapping Scripts.
  6. Recheck the intensity level of any unforgiveness you hold about today’s topic. Write the number down. If the level is at 8 or higher, repeat the entire sequence. If the level is less than 8, tap on a Modified Set-Up Statement, then perform the 10-point Tapping Sequence on your 12 Forgiveness Statements until you are at a 0 level of intensity.

 

– R
EFLECTIONS

One forgives to the degree that one loves.

—F
RANCOIS DE
L
A
R
OCHEFOUCAULD

– DAY 18 –

I F
ORGIVE
T
HE
W
ORLD

This holy instant would I give to You.

Be You in charge. For I will follow You. Now I train my mind to remember You, forgiving all that I thought happened. This is my responsibility, to choose the thoughts I think. And if I need a word to help me, You will give it to me. If I need a thought, this You will also give. And if I need stillness and a tranquil, open mind, these are the gifts I will receive from You.

—P
RAYER FOR
A C
OURSE IN
M
IRACLES
W
ORKBOOK
L
ESSON
363

 

– Forgiveness Story by Iyanla Vanzant –

I
was browsing around on social media, trying to catch up on what people were thinking and feeling about what was going on in the world. There were several really hot topics, and the folks seemed to be heated about their thoughts, feelings, and positions. It was amazing to me that so many people could have so much to say about the same thing and never find a common ground. Then I bumped into the meanness, the name-calling, and what felt to me like total disrespect.
What in the world? Have these people lost their minds?

There are many things about the world, the people in it, and how they live that are not to my taste or liking. Yet I respect people’s right to choose, recognizing that things are changing … quickly. The issue for me and perhaps many others is how we address our dislike without dissing other people and their basic human rights. How do we share our experiences, allow our voices to be heard, explore our differences in honorable and respectful ways? I guess it all boils down to this:
How do we stop judging one another in order to create productive change of the things that affect us all?
Every wrong we find in or about someone is a judgment. When we judge, we invoke the energy of
against-ness
that more often than not leads us to attack. When against-ness is at work, the attack is rarely physical. It is psychological or intellectual. It is emotional. Judgment is harsh and mean and meant to hurt, as if the pain of what we do or say will slap others into our way of believing. Whether we are against the opinion or the position or the behavior of the other people or the situation, the attack is always grounded in a judgment of the wrongness.

Because we can never really know what motivates other people, it’s difficult to know for certain that their views, opinions, and behaviors are not valid … based on what they know. History, experience, and exposure mold people, and people create the world in which we live.

Our world is what it is because of who we are as individuals living in a collective environment. Whether it is the death penalty, fashion trends, same-sex marriage, religious affiliations, or smoking in bars, we are living the reality that somebody or many somebodies are thinking, feeling, and supporting.

I
T’S NOT WHAT YOU LOOK AT THAT MATTERS
. I
T’S WHAT YOU SEE
.

The great writer Henry David Thoreau wrote: “It’s not what you look at that matters. It’s what you see.” If the world is a picture of the people in it, an honest look might reveal that the reactions we have to things and people give us more information about ourselves than about what we see. Perhaps, if we really want to see change in the world and find a common, sacred meeting place, we can practice forgiveness rather than against-ness.

 

D
AILY
F
ORGIVENESS
P
ROCESS
R
EMINDERS

For a more detailed explanation of the
Daily Forgiveness Process Guidelines
,

 
  1. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for at least 30 to 60 minutes.
  2. Still your mind for at least 5 minutes or listen to the
    Stillness Meditation.
  3. Read the Forgiveness Prayer once silently and once aloud.
  4. Scan the
    Emotional Triggers
    List.
  5. Write out the 12 Forgiveness Statements for each day’s topic on thinking, judging, and believing in your Forgiveness Journal (Days 1–18). Write your Forgiveness Letters (Days 19–21).
  6. Perform your Pro EFT™ Forgiveness Tapping Sequences.
  7. Process thoughts and feelings consciously through your Forgiveness Journal Reflections.
  8. Listen to the
    Gratitude Meditation
    on the Forgiveness CD.
  9. Complete the day’s practice in quiet reflection or with meditative music.
  10. Be sure to do something good for yourself today!

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