Forgiveness (5 page)
Authors: Iyanla Vanzant
Supports:
bravery, courage, self-acceptance, self-empowerment
Chin (CH):
Below lower lip
Central Vessel Channel to the Body
Releases:
shame, confusion, uncertainty, second-guessing decisions, psychological reversal
Supports:
honor, clarity, certainty, confidence, self-acceptance
Collarbone (CB):
One inch below actual bones
Neurolympathic System Releases:
anxiety, insecurity, indecision, psychological reversal, feeling stuck, general stress
Supports:
power and accomplishment, ease in moving forward, reason diplomacy, confidence, clarity, harmony
Underarm (UA):
Middle of armpit
Spleen Meridian
Releases:
low self-esteem, self-neglect, anxiety, obsession, nervousness, hopelessness
Supports:
clarity, confidence, fairness, relaxation, compassion for self and others
Liver (LV):
Directly under breasts
Liver Meridian
Releases:
rage against self, anger, guilt, unhappiness
Supports:
kindness toward self, nurturance, self-acceptance
Wrists (WR):
Center point of wrists
Heart, Pericardium, and Liver Meridians
Releases:
pain, grief, self-neglect, overwhelm, anger, insomnia, bloating, swelling, emotional/mental stress
Supports:
body consciousness, nervous system, relaxation, clear thinking, intuition, transformation, regeneration
Crown of Head (CrH)
Two inches back from direct center
Governing Meridian
Releases:
compulsive thinking, confusion, disorganization, inner critic
Supports:
ability to take a stand, spiritual connection and discernment, insight, intuition, focus, wisdom, clarity
Combining forgiveness and tapping is a powerful way to unclog every system in your life and open the way for new energy and experiences to unfold. The key to successful tapping is being able to identify and speak aloud the emotions attached to the thoughts and memories that are repetitive or stuck. Women hold negative thoughts about women and about men. Men hold negative thoughts about men and about women. Many people hold negative thoughts about blacks, whites, Latinos, or Asians; about their mother, father, supervisor, lover, or child. As you move through the 21-Day Forgiveness Process, it will be important to identify the negative emotions hiding behind your thoughts. You can do this by using the
Emotional Triggers
List. By identifying the negative thoughts or toxic feelings associated with the people or experiences you are choosing to forgive, tapping can add even more positive fuel to your life and well-being.
There are powerful, positive rewards that come from forgiveness. Releasing long-held or toxic memories through the forgiveness process—and eliminating the stress that energetic blockages place on your body—can add years to your life. Adding tapping to the forgiveness process opens your energy centers so that you can attract more of what you desire instead of staying stuck in what you already have.
T
HE
F
ORGIVENESS
T
APPING
P
ROCESS
- Identify the Issue
- Rate the Intensity Level
- Clearing Resistance/The Reversal Statement
- The Set-Up Statement
- The Tapping Sequence
- Recheck the Intensity Level
S
TEP
1: I
DENTIFY THE
I
SSUE
Each day during the 21-Day Forgiveness Process you’ll be working through a specific issue. That issue will be the focus of your journal and tapping work for the day. You’ll be journaling and tapping away the repetitive thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and memories on the day’s topic.
S
TEP
2: R
ATE THE
I
NTENSITY
L
EVEL
For this process you’ll need to determine the energetic or emotional intensity of day’s issue on a scale of 0 to 10. You can do this by simply thinking about the day’s issue and asking yourself, “On a scale of 0 to 10, how intense is the energy charge on this issue in my body?” Trust what you hear. Write the number down.
0 = No energetic charge or distress. I am at peace.
5 = I feel uncomfortable, but I can tolerate it.
10 = This is a real problem, and it’s making me feel crazy. I’m in major distress.
Remember that we are going for the gold in our tapping process, aiming for a 0 rating. This means that when you rate your “forgiveness” on each day’s topic, the goal is to feel clear, unburdened, peaceful, and complete. Don’t worry about getting the right number. Just ask yourself, “On a scale of 0 to 10, what is the intensity level of ‘unforgiveness’ I have on today’s topic?” A number will pop into your mind. Trust what comes forward.
S
TEPS
3
AND
4: C
LEARING
R
ESISTANCE AND
T
HE
S
ET
-U
P
S
TATEMENT
When something is familiar, even if it’s no good for us, the mind has a tendency to hold on to it. Resistance is the mental and emotional act of holding on to what is unproductive or, in many cases, toxic and self-destructive. This means that our conscious intentions are literally reversed, as though we’re wired backward. Unfortunately, we are not always aware that we are in resistance. The Reversal Statement and Set-Up Statement are designed to release the subconscious, or even conscious, resistance that keeps us stuck. These statements work to kick long-held habitual or repetitive thoughts and feelings out of the driver’s seat and to the curb. Releasing hidden resistances allows our tapping work to progress at a much faster rate.
For the purpose of the 21-Day Forgiveness Process, the Reversal Statements and Set-Up Statements will often be quite similar. At the beginning of each day’s tapping sequence, you will repeat the Reversal Statement and the Set-Up Statement each three times while tapping continuously on the Karate Chop point.
Here’s the Pro EFT™ Reversal Statement Formula: Even though this___________ (problem, emotion or lack of forgiveness,) causes me to___________(how it affects your life; keeps you stuck, angry, bitter, stressed, etc.) there’s a PART of me that doesn’t want to release it (change it, let it go, move on, forgive them, etc.) And I want to love (accept, respect, like … ) myself anyway.
It’s important to remember that you can’t just do the Reversal Setup alone. You then must tap on the rounds until the issue is completely gone … not just ‘better’.
Sample Reversal Statement:
Even though there is apart of me that is holding on to [daily topic] and that part of me refuses to let it go, I love myself totally and unconditionally.
Sample Set-Up Statement:
Even though I have been holding on to unforgiveness and judgments about [the daily topic] and I don’t want to let them go, I still deeply and completely love, respect, and accept myself.
Note that both the Set-Up Statement and later in the process, the Modified Set-Up Statement both contain the word “still.” This word signals your subconscious mind that you’re in the active release phase of your process.
S
TEP
5: T
HE
T
APPING
S
EQUENCE
Throughout the Forgiveness Process you will be tapping on and into a different issue for each of the 21 days. For example, on Day 1 your work will focus on the unforgiveness you have held about yourself. On Day 2, your work will focus on the unforgiveness that you have held about your body.
Daily intentional tapping on each of the 10 meridian points responsible for the positive flow of energy throughout your body, mind, and spirit is a powerful process. By linking your tapping to the 12 Forgiveness Statements written in your daily journal work, you will free stuck energy and regain a new level of peace, balance, and equilibrium. Starting with the Eyebrow and tapping to the Crown of the Head constitutes one round of tapping. As you tap, you’ll speak each written Forgiveness Statement out loud as a reminder of your intention. Work on each meridian point until your intensity level has reached 0. Always do a full round—from Eyebrow to Crown of the Head—even if it means you repeat the same statement several times.
S
TEP
6: R
ECHECK
I
NTENSITY
L
EVEL
Once you have competed 3-rounds of tapping on the day’s issue, stop and have a few sips of water. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Release the breath slowly and softly through your mouth, making the sound “Ahhhhh” as you do so.
Again, simply ask yourself the question: “On a scale of 0 to 10, how intense is this issue within my body?” Trust what you hear.
Recheck your intensity level on any unforgiveness you are holding about yourself or others.
If the level is at 8 or higher, repeat the entire 3-Round Tapping Sequence outlined in the Bonus Tapping Script (or your self-created script.)
If the level is less than 8, repeat one of the Modified Set-Up Statement 3 times while tapping constantly on the Karate Chop point. This helps to unlock any remain resistance. Then perform the 10-point Tapping Sequence on the 12 Forgiveness Statements from your daily journal work.
Repeat the sequence, pausing after each round to recheck the energetic intensity of your issue. Chart your progress, until you are at a 0 level of intensity.
I
forgave the man who raped me and the men who abandoned me
.
I forgave the woman who abused me and the women who betrayed me
.
I forgave the people who lied to me and I forgave those who lied about me
.
I forgave the person who stole from me, the person who disappointed me, and all of the people who dismissed, diminished, and denied me
.
The only person I have not been willing or able to forgive is myself.
—I
YANLA
V
ANZANT
Above all else, I want to see things differently.
I want to see what is true and loving and kind and real instead of the false thoughts and images I have projected onto the world and myself.
Forgiveness releases from my mind the false thoughts making sight, the “seeing,” possible.
Forgiveness will undo the image making of the ego that I have done unto myself.
—P
RAYER FOR
A C
OURSE IN
M
IRACLES
W
ORKBOOK
L
ESSON
28
– Forgiveness Story by Iyanla Vanzant –
A
s human beings, it is so easy to identify and judge the bad behavior and wrongdoings of another person. It is far more difficult, and even more important, to see and consider how your
own
prior bad acts have attracted certain people, situations, and experiences into your life. If you are
really
paying attention and
really
ready to heal, the day will come when you recognize that forgiveness is the only way back to the center of your innocence. This is a very hard lesson that I was blessed to learn.
It took four years to reach the point of crisis but only two minutes to drop me to my knees. I suspected for a long time that my granddaughter’s father regarded me with total contempt and rage. If the truth were to be told, I more than suspected—I knew. But I simply didn’t care. My only concern was my granddaughter, Gemmia’s baby girl. I sensed there was a power play at work between my granddaughter’s father and me. He was finally in control of something I wanted, and he was doing everything possible to demonstrate his power over me.