Freakshow (3 page)

Fuck them both in their goat eyes. I decided I was going with Captain Murdery.

He turned out to not be so much murdery as super friendly. His name was Carl, he and his life partner Dave worked for the Cirque...that’s what he called it, so score one for me already knowing an inside term. They’d been with the travelling company for over ten years. His partner worked in administration, payroll or something.

He bought me a tall mocha latte at the concession stand on the way to meet Orion. Who knew? They had a concession coffee bar that rivaled Starbucks. This was nothing like the fly by night carnivals that used to grace my hometown’s rodeo grounds once a year back in the day.

This was a professional organization, and the cleanliness, the expensive equipment, and the obvious care that went into setting up the Cirque impressed me.

“So tell me all about yourself,” Carl said as they waited for Orion to show up, “I mean, obviously your life must be rocky if you want to sign up and run away with the circus.”

“It’s fairly shitty, but it’s not that bad,” I replied, not wanting to divulge too much to this man whom I’d just met. I didn’t want him letting them know about my plan to work for a few weeks, then quit when the circus packed up to leave.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll settle in fine around here,” he said, “we need more
normal
folk, especially young women.”

“What do you mean normal?” I asked, a little alarmed as if he could see through my façade and glean how broken I really was.

“Normal, you know, not part of the Freakshow,” he replied, “it puts people off at the ticket booth. They know they’re coming to see something bizarre, but if the first thing they see is our dog faced boy or the Gimp, they won’t come in the front gate.”

“I guess, but it seems odd if they’re here to see the freaks, why won’t they interact with them?”

“It humanizes them, makes them too real. It’s easier to sit in the audience and watch them perform, it makes it feel a little less tragic I suppose.”

“I suppose,” I agreed and sipped my coffee, pondering his words.

“Holy fuck, I should have painted this smile a little more upturned at the edges. I’m sorry, I’m not usually such a moody prick, especially this early in the morning.”

I was about to let him know it was fine when a male voice boomed over my shoulder, “Bullshit, Carl. You’re always moody and you’re mostly a prick!”

“Ah, Olivia, I’d like you to meet Orion,” Carl said and motioned to the tall, elegant man behind me.

I smiled shyly and said, “Hi, most people call me Liv.” He held out his hand and I shook it. There was something about him, an immediate vibe that sent my body buzzing.

He was over six feet, probably in his early forties, but I couldn’t be sure. He had an ageless quality about him, but his black hair was silver at the temples. He had deep, dark eyes and he was wearing form fitting black slacks and a white t-shirt. His body was extremely muscular, but lean and athletic, not bulging. He was an attractive man, but something about him set my nerves on edge, but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly.

“Liv, pleased to make your acquaintance,” Orion said with the slightest hint of a Spanish accent. “Please excuse the less than formal attire, I have been attending our morning staff meeting. We don’t generally dress in costume for those occasions.”

I glanced and raised my eyebrows at Carl who was in full costume. He caught my look and said, “I was training somebody this morning, full face was required.”

“I didn’t mean–” I started to say but he cut me off.

“It’s okay, I know you were wondering why I was in full regalia while dear Orion here is running about the place half dressed. Let me just say that you don’t want to see me half dressed, darling. It’s not a pleasant sight. Orion though,
roooowr
, am I right?”

I blushed and glanced at Orion. He was watching me intently, his gaze unreadable. I suddenly felt like a mouse in front of a hawk, like he was ready to pounce. It wasn’t necessarily a sexual sensation, but more that I was a lesser creature in the presence of one who was above and beyond me.

“Never mind Carl,” Orion said and motioned for me to follow him, “let’s go to my office and we’ll discuss the position.”

Carl smiled, raised his eyebrows, mouthed the words, “Good luck”, turned and left. I trailed behind Orion, following him to a monstrous RV parked a short walk from the staff concession.

“Wow, this is really nice,” I said once we were inside. I was a bit in awe at how fancy the place was but tried not to gape. It was nicer than any house or apartment I’d ever lived in. He motioned for me to sit and I settled in at the kitchen table. All I saw were marble countertops, hardwood floors, several doors down a long hallway, leather sofas and a gigantic flat screen TV mounted in the living room.

“This is my home. I travel with the Cirque ten months of each year. The other two months we’re back in Quebec working on new routines for the following year. I like the comfort,” Orion replied.

“It’s nicer than anything I’ve ever had,” I laughed and ran my hand along the wooden table. It was teak, or something like it, not that I knew anything wood, but it was definitely better quality than my own shitty pressboard kitchen set back home.

He smiled back and said, “Okay, let’s go over the position, the pay and what we expect from you.” He pulled a thin file folder from a briefcase he had on the bench next to him. I saw, “Oliva Yark” written in scrawled red felt marker at the top.

“York,” I blurted and pointed at the file, “it’s actually York.”

“Oh,” he replied and looked at the folder, “I wonder why they put Yark?”

Of course I knew why, I’d spelled my own name wrong on the application, but was too embarrassed to say. “It’s a common mistake,” is all I could think of and hoped he’d drop it after he corrected the spelling on the folder.

He did, and we spent fifteen minutes going over the basics of being a ticket taker at the front of the show.

It seemed easy enough, paid better than my last job and came with perks, like free entry to the Cirque, staff housing, and a ten-dollar daily voucher for the employee cafeteria. I was sold the moment he mentioned free food.

When we shook on it, and I agreed to come in the next day for training, he looked me right in the eye with his intense, penetrating gaze and said, “Now promise me you’re not planning on leaving the moment we’re done in this town.”

I felt my face go red hot as if his gaze could seek out the lie I was telling. But I managed to stammer my reply, “Of course not. I plan on staying with the Cirque as long as you’ll have me.”

“Good girl,” he said and looked me up and down, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I felt like I’d just accomplished something, getting his approval like that.
Good girl
, like I was a fucking dog. He smiled at me and I felt stupid for taking offense. He probably didn’t mean anything by it.

And yet I couldn’t help thinking that he was a dangerous man, one I should probably avoid once I started work tomorrow.

But who was I kidding, I loved risk and walking on the wild side. I’d probably seek him out, as surely as my name was Olivia Yark.

I smiled to myself at my joke and hopped on the Skytrain home, suddenly aware of the fact that I had something to look forward to for the first time in weeks. Months even.

I just wished I had somebody to share it with.

“L
eave your purse in your locker and pick one of the red jackets that will fit you,” Joanna told me and pointed to a closet of identical red suit jackets with long tails, Ringmaster style but sequined along the lapels.

Joanna was babysitting me, showing me the ropes until I could handle taking cash and selling tickets at the front.

Joanna was in her mid-twenties, give or take a couple years, had thick blonde hair and brilliant blue eyes. She also happened to have a very curly, well-groomed beard.

I had tried to avoid looking at it when we’d first met, but Joanna had immediately addressed it, gotten it off the table.

“I have a beard, get over it,” Joanna had said, “look now, touch it, ask questions, but then let it go, okay?”

“Okay,” I’d said, touched it lightly and decided to stop thinking about it. This proved more difficult than one might assume, but I was doing a fairly good job at hiding it.

“Should I try one on now?” I asked and stepped towards the closet.

“It doesn’t matter to me, there are always a bunch of jackets, there will always be something for you to wear.”

I decided to forgo dressing up and followed Joanna to the staff concession.

“Your meal voucher is on file, just swipe the employee card the guys in security will give you. If you don’t use up your ten dollars each day, you can roll it over to the next day. If you don’t use it by the end of the month, you lose it. Understand?”

I tried not to stare at all the employees milling about, getting food, eating it, chit chatting like there was absolutely nothing wrong with them. I realized several of them were staring at me as well, grouped together and whispering.

“Understood,” I said, and forced myself to make eye contact and smile at a young man with a gigantic forehead. I assumed he had a form of Macrocephaly. I’d met a girl with it back in the day when my entire life was a revolving door of children’s hospitals and charity fundraising drives.

“Listen,” Joanna hissed, “you’ll eventually get used to us Freaks, but until then, just keep your eyes to yourself, okay? We are the bread and butter of the entire show, without us you wouldn’t have a job. So nothing but absolute respect, one hundred percent of the time.”

“Understood,” I repeated and looked over Joanna’s shoulder to find something,
anything
, to lock my gaze on.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted what might be the most incredible looking man I’d ever seen. I snuck a direct gaze and wasn’t disappointed. He was tall, leanly muscled with a confident ease about his posture that immediately drew me to him. I loved asshole men, and he looked like the supreme, with the cocky tilt to his head, and his easy, arrogant smile as he flirted with the girl behind the counter. He turned to me, as if feeling the weight of my gaze, and smiled.

I was lost for a brief moment, unsettled by the strange attraction I felt. His eyes were dark and endless, his thick, black hair pulled back in a knot on the top of his head, and his arms were covered in intricate, colourful tattoos. He had a hungry, wolfish look to him.

He also had a smirk on his face, as though he knew my secret thoughts and could feel the lustful heat radiating from my body. I glanced back to Joanna and winced at the other girl’s look of disgust.

“Seriously? I tell you not to look at the Freaks, and you pick the boss’s son?”

“Who is he?” I asked, unable to contain my curiosity.

“Cairo,” Joanna said, “Orion’s only son. Cirque
royalty
.” Her tone suggested I was an idiot, an outsider who would never be privy to the inner workings of life in the show. She was right; I didn’t care who he was, or who his father was, or anything about him. I just knew he was the hottest man I’d ever seen, and he’d smiled at me.

“That’s cool,” I said in an attempt to sound nonchalant. It obviously didn’t work.

“Seriously, stay away from him. He’s off limits, and honestly? Way out of your league. He would never date a norm,” Joanna said with a hiss.

“Are
you
into him?” I asked and looked Joanna in the eye. I didn’t know why I was being so combative over this issue, but I wanted to know more about him.

It was bizarre though, Cairo appeared to be my age, and Orion only seemed ten years older. How was it that Orion looked so young? Good genetics, or maybe he sacrificed babies in his spare time. Either way, I felt a hint of something mysterious at work.

“No, of course not,” Joanna snapped, obviously lying to me and perhaps herself. “He’s not the kind of guy any girl should want to hang out with. He might look good, but he’s dangerous. You seriously should stay away from him.”

“Okay, point taken,” I said, but of course the risk of a dangerous man only made my ears perk up. I did love taking risks after all, and what was one more scar on my heart if it meant the possibility of feeling something at all?

We continued the tour and I couldn’t help myself, I started to yawn. Joanna didn’t seem to like me, and let’s face it, she wasn’t a very energetic, interesting woman. I wondered what her performance was like...probably not that great if she was being punished by babysitting the new girl.

We were headed over to the animal tents when a tall figure blocked our way. The sun was behind him, so it took me a moment to realize it was Cairo, the man who made me weak at the knees and my body feel loose and strange.

“Who do we have here,” he asked Joanna with a charming smile. Now that I could see him up close, I took note of his perfect, white teeth and full, kissable lips. Oh, I needed to find out what those lips taste like.

“Hey,” Joanna said, and looked at me, “this is Liv, the new ticket girl. Your dad just hired her.”