Friday (Timeless Series #5) (10 page)

“I understand why you did what you did…but that doesn’t make it right. Francesca and I always feel alone even though we have each other. It’s just not the same…not having a parent.” I felt my eyes water so I closed them so they would stop. “You should have got help…you should have talked to someone. You should have done something…”

My chest hurt from all the pain I suppressed over the years. “I miss you.”

Marie rested her head on my shoulder, and her quiet tears echoed in my ear.

“I think you’d be proud of me. I think you would like the man I’ve become. But I’ll never know…because you left.”

Marie sniffed.

“I know I should let it go. I know I should forgive you. But it’s hard…”

Marie tightened her hold on me.

“I’m sorry for not coming to your funeral. I’m sorry for not visiting. It was just too hard. I think it was easier to be angry than to admit how hurt I am that you’re gone. I didn’t know what else to do…so I started to hate you instead.

“But I don’t hate you. I hate myself for not seeing the signs, for not doing something about it before it was too late. Maybe if I had, we’d still be a family right now. You might have come to my college graduation. And you might come to Francesca’s.” I stopped talking because it was becoming too difficult. I wasn’t the most emotional guy in the world. Feelings didn’t come to me easily, and when they did I hardly acknowledged them. And I never cried. The fact I was about to made me tense in anxiety. I fell silent and allowed the agony to pass, to circulate through my body and disappear.

The sound of crunching leaves emerged from the left. The footsteps seemed light, like a small person was approaching us.

I turned to see my sister standing there, her hand full of flowers. She stared at me like she’d never seen me before. It was the first time she really looked at me. Pride and sadness came over her face, unable to believe I was really there—with her.

She walked up to me, the flowers still in her hands. Her eyes welled with tears and fell freely down her face. Her eyes and cheeks didn’t turn red. All they did was moisten.

Marie stepped away, giving the two of us some privacy.

Francesca moved into my chest and wrapped her arms around me, holding me tightly. Once she was there she began to cry. Her tears soaked my chest, and her small body convulsed with the pain.

I held her and felt my own tears emerge, feeling the same pain at the same time. My chin rested on her head and I mourned for everything we lost. It was just she and I against the world. No matter how bad things became we still had each other. It didn’t matter how much we fought or how much we hated each other at times. The love we had for each other was unconditional. We would make it through—like always.

***

When we walked back into my apartment there was only one thing I wanted.

Marie.

I didn’t want sex. I didn’t want to get off. I didn’t want something physical and meaningless.

I wanted her.

When we were together, we always made something beautiful. When I was inside her I felt whole. As our bodies moved together the pain was shaved off. We fell into each other, finding comfort the only way we knew how.

She wasn’t my drug.

She was my cure
.

Once the door was shut and we were alone, I went for it. My hands dug into her hair forcefully and I positioned her against the wall. I rubbed my nose against hers before I placed a kiss on her lips.

Her kiss was full of hesitance, as if the moment didn’t feel right. She didn’t kiss me the way she used to. There was more fear than anything else.

I pressed my body against hers and slowed down the kiss. I felt her lips with mine, sucking the bottom one before lightly caressing the top. Her lips were soft just the way they used to be. I missed this. I missed kissing her, touching her, and adoring her.

She responded to me, her lips parting and allowing me inside. Now that my body was open like a damn everything came flooding out. I needed her more than ever, to fix this unbearable pain. I never felt more alive when we were together. And I never felt more at peace.

This wasn’t a good idea. Tomorrow morning it would probably be a regret. But I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted this more than anything, to have just one night with her. I wanted to forget about the next day and all the heartbreak it would bring.

I scooped her into my arms and carried her into my bedroom. Our kisses were still slow and soft. When they parted a light smacking noise filled the air. Kissing her was the biggest turn on because she was so good at it. I loved the way her small tongue felt against mine.

I slowly undressed her while my mouth was glued to hers. I wanted to see her body but I wanted to kiss her more. I got the dress unzipped and loose from her body. Then I pulled it off, taking her bra and panties too.

She wrapped her legs around my waist as she pulled off my shirt, kissing me with the same intensity as before. Then her hands moved to my jeans, unbuttoning them and removing them.

I got my boxers off, kicking them to the side as quickly as possible. All I wanted was to be inside her, to fall into a world where nothing else could follow. She was the only thing that could make me forget the ghosts that haunted me.

I positioned myself on top of her and got ready to feel that connection, that overwhelming pleasure that made me forget everything else. I didn’t want to screw her. I wanted to make love to her, and have her make love to me in return.

“Stop.” She placed her hand on my chest.

I was just about to enter her but stopped when she asked. “What is it, baby?”

“I just can’t do this.” She scooted back, pulling herself away from me.

I hid my disappointment. “Is everything okay?”

“I can’t do this knowing you have a girlfriend. It’s just wrong.”

A girlfriend? What?
“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

She stopped being hesitant and immediately turned angry. “Axel, don’t lie to me. That’s the worst thing you can possibly do.”

“I’m not lying.” If I had a girlfriend it would be her.

“I know you’re seeing Alexia.”

“Yuck.” I blurted it out automatically. She was a troll compared to Marie. “I’m not seeing her. I haven’t been with her since before you and I got together. Where the hell are you getting this from?”

“Then why was she in your apartment a few weeks ago?” Despite her nakedness she looked terrifying.

In my apartment? Alexia hadn’t been in my apartment since… “How did you know that?”

“I came by to talk to you and she opened the door.”

She opened the door? Why didn’t she tell me? I’d never been more confused in my life. “Why didn’t you come inside? Why didn’t you tell me you came by?”

“Because that skank told me you were her boyfriend and I needed to stop showing my face.”

“What?” I snapped. “She said that?”

“Yes.”

Why would Alexia say that?
“But it’s not true.”

“Well, she thought so.”

“The only reason why she was there was because she needed a place to crash. Her roommate’s boyfriend was at her place and she wasn’t comfortable. She just showed up on my doorstep and I couldn’t turn her away. I swear, nothing happened. I don’t know why she made all that shit up.”

Marie’s anger dimmed away. Her eyes didn’t look so threatening, and her body relaxed.  “Then why did she say that?”

I shrugged. “I don’t have a clue. She did ask me out a few times but I turned her down. Maybe she was getting back at me by scaring you off.”

“She knew we were broken up.”

I couldn’t lie about that.
“I told her…”

Marie crossed her arms over her chest.

“I swear, I’m not seeing her and haven’t been seeing her in the past. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“I know…” Her arms still covered her chest, as if she felt like she was on display.

Despite the argument we just had, I still wanted her. I hadn’t been with anyone since we broke up, and if she’d been with Jason I didn’t care. It didn’t change the way I felt. And if she was still seeing him I didn’t care either. She was mine, as far as I was concerned.

I moved back up her body and positioned myself on top of her. My lips hovered a fraction of an inch away from hers. She was close enough to feel my breaths fall on her face. Her body tensed all over again when I drew close to her, and slowly her arms pulled away from her chest, moving to my arms that were pinned on either side of her body.

I gave her a slow kiss, closed-mouthed and soft. I let everything wash over me, feeling her tits pressed to mine. Her chest rose with the breath she took, and I could feel it expand against me.

I moved my lips to her ear and pulled her closer to me. “Can I make love to you?” She told me to stop before, and I didn’t want to pressure her into something she still didn’t want.

“Please.”

A shiver moved down my spine at her words. The heat in her voice moved me, made me feel alive. My cock found her entrance like it knew it’s way there. I felt the wetness between her legs and knew she still wanted me.

My hand returned to her hair, my favorite place, and I fisted the strands like they belonged to me. I slowly slid inside her, feeling the familiar tightness. I recognized every inch of her, having been there so many times before. It felt good, better than it ever had. It’d been six weeks since I’d had sex, and my body immediately appreciated every second of the experience.

She breathed deeply, every breath coming out as a small whisper. Her hands clung to my back, pulling me further into her. She needed me as much as I needed her.

The second I was inside her I felt better. It wasn’t the physical pleasure that felt so good. It was much more than that. The pains and aches throughout my heart were patched up with her essence. The scars that marked my body faded away. She fixed all the leaks and holes, putting me back together. It was the greatest high I’d ever known. All those nights I slept alone in my truck faded away. It felt like we’d never been apart. It was just she and I—like we’d always been this way.

I kissed her jawline and her neck as I moved inside her, treasuring the taste of her on my tongue. My lips memorized every inch of her skin, knowing exactly where everything was by touch alone. I buried my face in her neck and listened to her moan for me, loving the way I felt inside her. I stretched her in a good way, giving her the kind of pleasure she deserved.

Her nails dragged down my back, cutting into the skin in a sexy way. She panted hard at the same time, breathless and excited. Whenever she touched me, it was with need and not desire. She made me feel loved without a single word. She cared about me in a way no woman ever had. I didn’t feel like a hot guy she picked up in a bar. I felt like something more—something worthwhile. The first time we hooked up seemed to be forgotten. It was like it never happened at all. It never should have happened at all.

I should have made love to her from the beginning.

Dreams

Marie

For the past few weeks my body felt like it’d been in a car wreck. It was smashed and crushed, broken beyond repair. Everything hurt even when I didn’t move.

But now everything was fixed.

I could breathe easy again, feel the air enter my lungs then exist slowly. All the despair that weighed on my shoulders seemed to have disappeared. Now that Axel was back in my life, lying beside me in that very moment, I didn’t have a care in the world.

Axel was wrapped tightly around me, his powerful chest humming like a low-burning engine. With every breath it expanded against me, lulling me into a place of tranquility. The little things he did in bed brought back great memories. The way he sighed just when he readjusted himself still carried on. Sometimes he would snore but it only last a few minutes before he turned his head and stopped. And he never released his hold on me in the middle of night. That was something that never changed.

I had to get up and get to class. I already blew off school yesterday, and Axel couldn’t blow off another day at the office even though he would try. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand and knew I needed to get going.

But it was so hard to leave him.

Axel woke up a moment later, his brain naturally programmed to stir when his alarm was supposed to go off. He stared at the side of my face then leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “Morning, beautiful.”

“Morning.”

He kissed the back of my neck then my shoulder. “I haven’t slept that well in a long time…”

“Me neither.”

He kissed my shoulder again. “I wish we could stay in this bed all day…”

“I do too. But our responsibilities await us.”

“Eh.” He pressed a kiss to the skin between my shoulder blades. “You have the most beautiful skin.”

“Thank you…”

“Actually, you have the most beautiful everything.”

“Thank you again.”

He leaned over me and pressed a kiss to my ear. “I’m going to shower. Wanna join me?”

“I should get home. All my stuff is there.” I’d have to bring a bag of my things so I could stay there on the weekends. Francesca seemed to be self-efficient at this point. Whether Cameron was around or not, she would be fine.

“Alright.” He got out of bed, his hard body looking powerful. Then he pulled on his boxers and t-shirt. “I’ll walk you out.”

I pulled on the clothes I wore the night before and tried not to cringe at the walk of shame I was about to perform. Francesca would have a million questions, and I’d have to answer them without making her throw up.

Axel walked me to the door then cupped my cheeks, staring hard into my face. His thumbs rested on the corners of my mouth. “Last night was fun.”

“It was.”

He pressed his forehead to mine. “Thank you…for everything.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I know.” He moved his lips to my forehead and gave me a soft kiss, a kind of kiss he’d never given me before. His lips lingered for a long time, feeling searing hot against my skin. “And I’ll always be here for you.”

***

Francesca was just about to leave for class when I walked in. “Tell me everything.”

“Can I come in first?”

She stepped out of the way and followed me all the way into the kitchen. “Same clothes…messy hair…stupid smile. I can connect the dots.”

“Then connect them so I don’t have to talk about it.”

“Did you…?” She didn’t ask the full question because it was too awkward to say it out loud.

I nodded.

Francesca clapped. “About damn time. Shit, you guys took forever.”

“Good things are worth waiting for.”

“So, you guys are back together?”

“Yep.”

“Great. Now everyone is happy. What are the odds of that?”

I poured a mug of coffee and added a splash of cream. “Everything feels right again. I knew something was different yesterday. Maybe forgiving your father loosened him up.”

“Maybe,” she said. “I’m glad you got him to go. No one could have pulled that off but you.”

I made a piece of toast and ate it at the counter.

“What did you do, exactly?”

“Nothing really,” I said. “I just asked him to.”

“Bullshit,” she said. “There must have been something else to it.”

I remembered the words he said right before that. They were an accident but I still heard them. “He said he would never abandon his kids like that. Then he said even if I died he would still be there for them…”

“You? As in, the future mother of his kids?”

I nodded.

“Awe…” She clapped her hands in a way she hadn’t done in a long time. “That’s so great. I’m so glad he finally came out and said it. It’s so obvious how he feels about you.”

I was glad he finally admitted it too. “At least this story has a happy ending.”

“A great ending,” she said. “But I have a feeling there’s more to the story.” She looked at the time on the coffee pot. “I want to hear more about it when I get home, alright?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Mom.”

She gave me the finger before she walked out.

I finished my coffee then poured the rest out in the sink. There was a pile of dirty dishes, and since I was in a good mood I decided to do them. After I stacked the dishes in the dishwasher I looked out the small window over the sink.

Hawke was walking across the lawn.

What the hell?

I quickly dried my hands and threw down the towel. “What does he want?” I walked to the door and opened it before he even knocked. “You just missed her.” He had to be there for her. What other reason would he have?

“Again, I’m not here for her.”

I kept the disappointment from creeping into my features. “Then what do you want?”

He walked in without being invited. The first thing he did was examine the Spackle he placed over the hole in the wall. He felt it with his fingers before he turned back to me.

“Hawke, just spit it out. I don’t want you to stink up the house.”

“Excuse me?”

“Last time you were here, Francesca could smell you.”

His cold stare changed slightly. Panic entered his eyes. “She knew I was here?”

“I told her a handyman fixed the wall and he must wear your cologne. But she swore it wasn’t cologne—it was you.” If I hadn’t witnessed their relationship first hand I would have thought she was crazy. But they had some sort of connection where they could sense each other, even if they weren’t in the same room at the same time.

“Fuck.” He sighed in frustration then opened the door. “Let’s talk outside.”

I followed him onto the lawn. “What’s up? Francesca might come back so hurry.”

“She won’t. I waited a few minutes to make sure.”

I looked around for his truck but didn’t see it anywhere. “Where’s your truck?”

“I have a car now. And it’s down the street.”

Now I understood why Francesca hadn’t spotted him. If he were in his truck she would have immediately noticed him.

“I just wanted to see how she’s doing. I’d ask Axel but she’s still a touchy subject for him.”

“She’s been a lot better. It seems like she really likes Cameron.”

His eyes quickly looked away, trying to hide the pain that burned right on the surface. He tried to brush it off, to bottle it deep inside, but I could tell that revelation bothered him. “I meant yesterday. Her father’s anniversary.”

He remembered
? “She was pretty sad…like usual.”

“Did you go to the cemetery with her?”

“No, but she, Axel, and I were there at the same time.”

“Axel went?” He placed his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah…”
Thanks to me.

Hawke understood the significance. “I’m glad you guys got back together.”

“That makes two of us.” I kept the smile off my face because he seemed miserable. It just wasn’t right to be happy when he was barely keeping himself together.

“So, she’s okay?”

“Yeah.” Why did he care so much about her father’s anniversary and not her mother’s? “She visited her mother two weeks ago…” Maybe he forgot. Or maybe he just didn’t know.

“I know. I was there. She seemed okay.”

“You were there?” I blurted.

“She didn’t see me.”

How could she not see him at an empty cemetery? “If you’re still keeping tabs on her why don’t you just get back together with her?”

Hawke acted as though he hadn’t heard a word I said. “I was stuck at the office yesterday and I couldn’t come down. I’m glad she’s doing okay. If she went to school today then she must be fine.”

“She is.”

“Well…that’s all I wanted to know. Thanks for answering my questions.”

Times like this made me hate him. He had no right to check on her wellbeing like it was any of his business, not when he left her so coldly. It was a complete paradox. He loved her but refused to be with her. “Hawke, don’t come back here anymore. I mean it.”

He turned back to me when he heard the threat.

“You can’t have it both ways. You can’t skip town and leave her behind but expect to be involved in her life. You can’t snoop around and watch her from a safe distance. If you care that much about her just be with her. Otherwise, you’re just being nosey.”

Hawke wasn’t as emotional as Axel. He kept the same demeanor no matter how angry he was. “I’m not being nosey. I don’t expect you to understand what exists between Francesca and I. Just because we aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean I don’t care about her. I will always care about her. She doesn’t see me and she has no idea that I’m here. So, there’s no problem.”

“She smelled you, Hawke. Do you understand how weird that is? She took one step in the house and immediately knew. I had to spend ten minutes convincing her she was crazy.”

Hawke took a step back. “Well, we won’t have that problem again. Good bye, Marie.”

“Bye, Hawke,” I said coldly.

He turned away and walked off, heading down the street to wherever his car was parked.

In my heart I knew Hawke was a good person. He came all the way down here to help out Axel, and when he checked on Francesca his heart was in the right place.

But I would always hate him for what he did to Francesca.

***

I sat at the kitchen table and kept the blinds open, loving the beautiful sunset going on right outside my window. My laptop was open with an article I was writing but my heart wasn’t in it. I kept thinking about Axel. My phone sat next to my hand, and I anxiously waited for it to ring.

I wanted to see him.

Francesca’s car drove on the street then pulled into the driveway. She had class and work, so she was getting home later than usual. With her backpack over her shoulder she walked across the lawn and approached the porch.

I watched her, remembering the way Hawke stood outside just a few hours before. He was constantly with her, lurking in the shadows unseen, and she had no idea she was being watched.

She suddenly halted before the stoop, staring at something I couldn’t see. She was still as a statue, her face becoming pale. Then she looked around, searching for something I couldn’t see. She stood there for several minutes, searching and listening for something.

Did she know?

Her face was expressionless as she waited, using all of her senses to find something. After another minute she walked into the house, her face still deathly pale.

“Hey…you alright?” I rose from my chair, prepared for anything.

“Yeah…I’m fine.” She dropped her backpack on the table, her eyes glued to the window.

“You seem…a little off. Did you see something?” There was no way she smelled Hawke’s scent outside. Hours had passed and the smell wafted away in the spring air. There was just no way.

“I thought…” She shook her head. “Nevermind.”

“No, tell me.” When she told me they were soul mates I thought she was just being a hopeless romantic. I never believed her, but now I wasn’t so sure.

“It’s hard to explain…have you ever walked into a room or a place and knew something was different? Everything is exactly the same but not really? The porch just seemed…different. Like something or someone out of place had been there.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Not really.”

“It was almost like…nevermind.” She walked around me and headed to the fridge.

“No, I want to know.”

“You’ll think I’m weird.”

“I already do. But tell me anyway.”

She grabbed a bottle of water and shut the door. “I just feel him. Like he was there or something.”

“Who’s him?” This couldn’t be happening.

“Hawke…”

My mind was officially blown. How did she know that? How could she tell? He was there for ten minutes before he left. There wasn’t enough time to taint the air, the plants, or anything else in the area.