Fur Coat No Knickers (37 page)

Oh stop it!
Here I go again. I mean, why bother staying grounded when I can manufacture yet
another
crazy dream in my mind. That’s the old Tara, raising her stupid ugly head.
Clearly my brain matter was shrinking again.

I must not think this way, I must not become obsessive. I must not be delusional. ‘Good, well done,
I thought to myself, triumphantly
. I’m at least recognising the signs of delusional behaviour. It’s all about the ‘Zen,’
I began humming to myself.

‘I was wrong this morning,
’ said Lewis, interrupting my thoughts. ‘I shouldn't have come upstairs whilst you were changing. I don’t know what came over me; I just panicked because I thought you had hurt yourself.’

‘It’s okay
,’ I blushed.

‘No.
I was completely out of order. It’s been a while since, you know, I’ve been in the dating game.’ He said, finally placing my helmet down on the handlebars of his motorbike.

‘You’re for
given - but don't do it again,’ I warned, wagging my finger playfully.

‘Time is most definitely a great healer. I never thought I would get over my ex
Fiancée.’ He announced, standing closer to me.

‘Fiancée?’ I stepped back
, feeling a stab of jealousy coming out of nowhere. ‘I didn't know that you had been engaged.’ So that’s what he was doing in Ann Summers - buying
he
r
underwear.

‘Yeah,’ sighed Lewis with a slight nod
, ‘I thought she was
the one
,’ he added, shrugging his shoulders. ‘I couldn't have been more wrong.’

I certainly knew how that felt
, as I reflected and considered my own emotional meltdown. Just the mere mention or thought of Travis and
her
, together with their baby, left a very bitter taste in my mouth.

‘I caught her in bed with my so-
called “best buddy”’ he continued quietly.

‘Oh my god,’ I huffed shaking my head
, ‘that’s just awful, losing your fiancée
an
d
your best friend. How on earth did you get through that?’ I asked, stroking his delicious, strong doctor’s hand and thinking
maybe
th
e
Big-Ma
n
upstair
s
had been trying to pair us two together in Ann summers, even back then.

‘I got myself a new girl,’ he added, his face
breaking into a grin. ‘The quickest way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else.’

‘Oh really?
’ I snapped, tossing his disgusting hand away and feeling my emotional balance swaying low.
Bloody bastard.
I huffed under my breath as my stomach clenched in total disappointment.
They’re all the same! And to think, just a few minutes ago I wanted to be his wife! No sir-ee, not-in-a-million - he’s a gobshite, just like all the rest.
And, quite frankly, I didn't fancy putting my hand up a horses arse anyway, no matter how much the doctor’s gloves could stretch!

‘Her name
’s Thumper and she’s over there…’ he added sharply, sensing my repulsion, while frantically pointing at his Ducati bike.

Lewis picked my hand back up and kisse
d it tenderly.
And so he should, for scaring me like that,
I thought as relief washed over me.

‘Perhaps there’s no such thing as
the one,’
I said. ‘Perhaps, it’s all just wishful thinking.’

I was suddenly feeling very philosophical and hoped he would argue the point with me.

Lewis remained silent. All I could hear was Lewis taking in a deep lung-filling breath as he squeezed my hand tight. I exhaled sharply and then held my breath as I dared to ask the next question.

‘Do you still think about
her?’

‘Who?’
asked Lewis with a sexy grin as he slid his thumb playfully around my palm.

Okay, I get it. Keep calm.
He is saying his ex is history.
Maybe Lewis and I have more in common than I realised.

‘That was then,’ added Lewis studying my face intently
, ‘this is now. And I’m rather enjoying the now.’

I
fluttered my lashes and closed my eyes; giving off pouty, sexy signals that it was okay for him to kiss me.

He didn't.

Instead, he lay back on the blanket and stretched his arms up behind his head. Dizzy from the Champagne and disappointed that my pouty signal failed, I clumsily laid down beside him.

‘Has Camilla told you what happened to me?’ I asked
, still feeling emboldened by the alcohol. I was almost positive that James would have filled her in; giving every tiny, dreadful detail. I had to tell Lewis the truth.

But before Lewis could answer, I blurted out
the worst; ‘I can’t have children. I left it too late.’ Choking on my words, I gulped back the emotion.

‘
Oh… well, my animals are my babies. That’s plenty enough for me.’

B
efore I realised what I was doing, I dived on top of him and began kissing him. Instantly, the two of us were locked into a passionate embrace, tearing and fumbling at each others zips and layers of thick leather that were separating our quivering flesh. Around and around the grass we rolled, ripping off clothing and gasping for each other.

One m
oment Lewis was on top of me - then I was on top of him, fumbling and biting each other wildly as our tongues danced into each other’s mouths. God, I wanted him so badly.

‘This is all I have wanted to do since the day I met you,’ he breathed hoarsely in my ear. ‘I just want to look after you, hold you in my arms and keep you
safe.’

His eyes were now searching my face for clues
, or perhaps permission to take me. I nodded silently as he swooped in again, kissing me recklessly. Condom, no condom, we didn't care - and it didn’t matter. Everything inside me stirred, awakening eager, wild lust. I couldn't help myself. It felt so good to be with him. All the crap that we had both endured in the past seemingly fell away. I hugged him tight, breathing in his beautiful scent, pulling him into me as I clambered on top of him and rocked my semi naked body gently against his.

‘Tara,’ he moaned staring intently at me. ‘You’re
the one.’

‘Sshh,’ I smiled bravely, placing my fingers over his beautiful full lips, feeling the sturdiness of his beautiful body beneath mine.

‘You’re perfect,’ whispered Lewis, as I gathered my hip rocking pace, easing his throbbing love-muscle into me slowly.

‘Ahh
… Tara…  stop… it’s been so long… I’m going to cum.’

‘Then cum,’ I added triumphantly, staring at his blonde hair, splayed around him like a halo.
Clearly, another message from the Big-Man himself.

‘No, ladies first,’ he groaned hoarsely, desperately trying to hold on.

Not on your life.
I thought to myself, holding it back. There’s no way.
Not after my last nappy-requiring orgasm. No, mine can wait till we’re both in the bedroom later. And anyway, it would make me far too emotional.
I wasn't quite ready to go there, not yet.

‘Tara,’ cursed Lewis in
a husky tone, ‘I can’t hold on… please cum with me.’

‘I am Lewis -
I am,’ I yelled, totally lost in him and I was; not in body, but certainly in my mind.

I cupped his beautiful square jaw
, encouraging and comforting him, as his body trembled and shook; draining itself into mine.

As we lay there afterwards
, absorbing the aftershocks, I couldn’t help but think about how I felt. I was happy, yes, and satisfied, absolutely.
Yay!
(my days of waiting for the washing machine to vibrate on that particular cycle are over). Well, they will be later when I get in his bedroom. But there was something else. I felt calm, relaxed and safe. I knew instinctively this man would never hurt me.

I poured mys
elf yet another glass of bubbly to celebrate.

‘I know this is kind of sudden and I don't want to frighten you off,’ announced Lewis clearing his throat and sitting up.

‘What?’ I asked nervously, raising my chin up to the sun and placing my hand over his tanned, taunt six-pack.

‘Look, I’m just gonna say it. You don't have to say anything, but I’ve been busting a gut to say something all afternoon.’

Instantly I froze, everything flashing through my head like a whirlwind.
Please don't tell me you’re bi-sexual, or worse still, that you
do
want babies and this was all a big mistake. Or,
I thought,
my heart pounding
, that he wants to ask me to marry him?

Panicked, I dismissed the glass and
reached over to the bottle of Champagne and poured it down my throat.

‘Tara,’ said Lewis
, clearing his throat again.

‘Yes,’ I hummed to myself
, willing him to say whatever it was (and quickly). The latter of my thoughts would be just so perfect (marriage), but knowing my luck it would be the first of my thoughts (bi-sexual).

‘I
… err… love… your hair… short.’

‘What?’ I spat in horror, ‘You were building up to say
that?’
I huffed. I felt like all the air within my lungs had been punctured. I mean, really? All that build-up… for that crock of shite!

‘Tara
…’

That could give a woman of my age
, with my rare-genetic-disorder, a stroke or a heart attack.
What a custard launcher. I wouldn't look at him - and why the feck should I?

‘Tara
…’

‘What?
!’ I huffed, sulking and still refusing to make eye contact as I stumbled around, pulling my clothes back on in temper.

‘I want you to remember this moment,’ he said thoughtfu
lly, breathing in hard. ‘This is
our
special place.’

‘Not sure what’s so special about it,’ I pouted folding my arms in protest, trying to steady myself.

‘I was joking earlier, about your hair, I mean err… I love your hair, what I mean is… please don’t get frightened… it’s just that… I think I have fallen deeply and madly in love with you.’

Well that statement certainly grabb
ed my drunken attention! Unable to keep a lid on his excitement he pulled me down to him and kissed me again, I could feel a single teardrop snake down my cheek. I felt the warmth of his love exploding in my mouth as he kissed me again.

‘Say it again,’ I begged.
‘Say it
again
.’

‘I love you, Tara Ryan!’ h
e shouted out to the world as he tenderly scooped me up and swung me round.

And at that moment, I think I really loved him too.

Like a crazy pair of kids we held hands, running wildly through the poppies, disappearing among them as we made passionate love all over again. Only this time I didn't hold back- well, I’m sure the poppies needed a good watering anyway.

I’m not sure how long we lay
there after that. It was certainly getting dark by the time we began to think about moving. I was starting to feel cold.

‘I can see why you love this place,’ I said tentatively, breaking the silence.

‘It’s amazing, isn’t it? I come here when I need to think - or sometimes when I
don’t
want to think. I love the journey over on Thumper, I feel as though I can go as far as I want, as fast as I want. The rush can be so surreal, sliding around switchback corners with thousand-foot drops; my palms sweating, fingers clenching, muscles tightening.’

I could see he had drifted off. I really didn’t mind though. I already loved that faraway look in his eyes. I loved his free spirit and sense of adventure.

‘Sorry… am I boring you?’ he said, looking worried as he snapped back to the here-and-now.

‘Not at all,’ I said, as I started pulling on my leathers.

‘Today was special, wasn’t it?’ said Lewis, grinning.

It was. It was like a fairytale.
Girl meets hot boy of her dreams and they live happily ever after.
Sorted.

As we walked back to the motorbike, I felt like I was walking on air. Finally,
finally,
it had all come good. I had met someone who genuinely liked me for me, after all, he’d seen me at my worst, no fake-tan, no hair extensions, no flashy clothing and yet, he told me he loved me. I already knew he would never ever mess me about or let me down.

I watched Lewis gathering up the last bits from our picnic site and couldn’t help gr
inning at him.
You soppy loon,
I chided myself. I think I had just had one of the best days of my life.